Chapter Seventeen

Sloane didn't understand.

Her frown deepened as she read the text again.

This isn't working out. We are too different and it's not what I want. I wish you and Ruger the best.

It was so formal, and didn't sound like Captain. Maybe someone had gotten ahold of his phone, and this was some kind of a prank or something?

She hadn't responded in case that was what happened. She wanted to see him and talk about this message face-to-face.

He'd sent it in the middle of the night. This morning, she'd dropped Ruger off at school and headed straight here, to Moosey's.

It was just opening up, and she checked again to make sure Captain's truck was parked here. It was.

Was this the part where she had some pride in herself and ignored him for the rest of her life, with the knowledge that he would regret this decision someday? That sounded great in theory, but her heart was in charge, and she already missed him.

She deserved closure if he was running.

The line outside of Moosey's front door started moving, which meant it had just opened. She got out and wrapped her flannel more tightly around her shoulders as she walked across the gravel parking lot.

She made her way inside and stood in line, standing on her tiptoes to see around the people in front of her for a glimpse of Captain.

Sure enough, he was manning the smokers. They were serving breakfast right now, so it was brisket-and-egg sandwiches and barbecue breakfast burritos.

He was pulling a brisket off of a smoker that had probably been going all night. Should she go up to the counter? Hallie was working the register, and probably wouldn't be upset.

But as she watched him work, she decided to wait her turn. Why? Because he seemed completely lost in thought. He moved almost robotically. Even Shane didn't get under his skin as he ran into him. Captain barely noticed, and definitely didn't say anything to him.

He seemed…distracted.

When she got to the front of the line, she ordered a breakfast burrito from Hallie. Hallie looked worriedly behind her at Captain. "He's having an off day."

"Can I talk to him?"

Hallie's eyes were filled with sadness. She hesitated, then nodded. "Sure. Shane, take over for a few minutes. Captain needs to take a break."

"No I don't," Captain said, glancing over at Hallie. He looked over at Sloane, then back at Hallie. "I just started."

Hallie inhaled deeply and turned back to Sloane. "I know this is going to feel hard. I can't imagine, but Captain has moved on."

"Moved on," Sloane repeated softly. "I don't understand. He sent me this text."

He looked back over at Sloane. "I know you," he said in a strange, robotic voice. "I sent you a message last night."

Confused, Sloane held up her phone with the text. "What does this mean, Captain?"

He seemed to read it. "It means this isn't working out. We are too different and it's not what I want. I wish you and Ruger the best." He had just read the text aloud.

"Captain, I know what it says. I don't understand why you sent it."

"Look, we have a lot of stuff going on in the Crew," Hallie said gently. "He is focusing on Crew-life right now."

But Hallie's eyes were filling with tears. "I really don't understand," Sloane whispered brokenly. "He doesn't even want to talk to me?"

"He's not going to remember much."

"Is he hurt?"

Hallie seemed to want to say something, but shook her head and changed her mind. "He just needs space, Sloane. You have to move on and keep Ruger safe."

"But…Ruger is safe. Captain, can we just talk for a little while?"

"Why?" he asked, canting his head. His pupils were constricted to tiny pinpoints, which made his eyes look so unnaturally silver. His expression was vacant.

"Something's wrong," she said.

"Sloane," Hallie said low.

"No. I know him. Something's not right. Something's happened."

"Fffuck." Hallie looked around. "Shane, cover the register for a minute."

Hallie gestured Sloane over to the side and squared up. "Captain is under an order to give you space, Sloane. It's for your own good. And Ruger's."

"What does an order mean?"

"An Alpha order. Captain can't see around it. He doesn't know you right now." Her voice had gone very small at the end.

"An Alpha order. Done by an Alpha. Done by Gunner?"

Hallie nodded, and there was such deep sadness in her eyes.

"Your Gunner?" Sloane asked.

Another nod.

"Why would he take him from me?" she whispered, throat thickening as realization hit her. Captain had told her about Alpha orders. They couldn't be ignored.

"I can't talk about it," Hallie said. "You just have to trust me that it's for your own good."

Sloane's eyes burned as she slid her gaze to Captain. He was chopping brisket like she wasn't over here falling apart. Like her world wasn't shattering.

"It's not a forever thing," Hallie rushed out. "Gunner will lift it someday."

"Someday," Sloane whispered, horrified. "What do I do until then? Just pretend Captain doesn't exist?"

"You have to."

Tears escaped her eyes, and Sloane dashed the back of her hand across her cheeks. "But…he feels so big."

"I know," Hallie whispered.

"You don't know," Sloane gritted out. "No one knows." She backed away, feeling absolutely betrayed by the Fastlanders.

She rushed around the counter and hugged Captain tight. "You remember me. You do. Remember me? I'm Sloane, and my son Ruger is your biggest fan, and we do baseball games, and movie nights, and we cook together, and—"

"Get off," Captain gritted out. He set down his knife and eased her away at arms' length. "You can't be back here. I'm working."

The coldness in his voice shocked her.

His eyes looked so different as he looked at her. So silver and empty. So feelingless.

"Captain, please," she pleaded.

"Someone get her out of here," he said, gesturing to Sloane. "She's fucking with the breakfast rush."

Someone touched the small of her back, but she jerked away from them. It was Shane. "Don't touch me," she said, swallowing a sob.

Sloane looked around. Everyone was staring at her like she was crazy. Captain had gone back to work, giving her his back, and Hallie's eyes were full of emotion, but screw everyone here.

They didn't understand how badly she was being hurt. They didn't understand the storm inside of her.

They didn't understand what was being taken.

She'd found herself with Captain, and now what? How did she continue progress when her biggest motivation barely recognized her?

What would she tell Ruger?

He loved Captain.

She wiped another tear from her cheek and slid her hand around Captain's bicep. When he turned those empty eyes on her, she uttered something she had sworn to herself to never say to another man.

"I love you." She swallowed hard, released his arm, strode around the counter, and didn't look back. She couldn't stand the empty look he gave her as she had uttered those words.

She'd meant it.

She loved him very much, but what did any of her feelings matter?

Gunner had ruined everything.