26

It took the rest of the cab ride to calm her mother down, but eventually—after promising to meet her for breakfast—Mira managed to shove Cherie out of the cab in front of her hotel.

She didn’t blame her mother for what happened. As carefree and sweet as she could be, she turned into a mama bear when her baby was hurt, and Brody McKnight had certainly done his fair share of hurting.

When Mira finally got back to her hotel room, she left the room mostly dark, flicking on just one bedside lamp. She’d just stepped out of her shoes and unpinned her hair when someone rapped softly at her door. She groaned. Probably Natalia rushing in to make sure she was okay. She swung it open, ready to reassure her and politely shove her back out, but the words died on her tongue. Will was standing on the other side. He’d lost his suit jacket from earlier. His hair was an artful wreck, as if he’d spent half an hour raking his fingers through it, and a dusting of dark stubble had started to shadow his jaw.

As she stared at him, he raised the bottle of scotch he held.

“Figured you could use a drink.”

Wordlessly, she swiped it out of his hand and turned around to retrieve two tumblers off the minibar. She sloshed a couple of inches into both glasses and handed one to Will after he’d come inside and closed the door. She tossed back a hefty sip and winced.

“Ugh, that’s awful.”

“ That is a three-hundred-quid bottle of scotch.”

“Hmm.” She passed him her half-empty glass. “Maybe I’ll just leave this to you.” She turned toward the window overlooking the lights of downtown Austin.

“So … the guy you told me about … the love story that wasn’t a love story … it was Brody McKnight, right?”

“I think that’s pretty clear.”

“Brody’s been around forever, though. He’s got to be—”

“He’s thirty-seven now. He was thirty when we … when I knew him.”

“How old did you say you were?”

“I didn’t.” She swallowed thickly, keeping her eyes on the glittering nighttime landscape of Austin down below. “But I’d just turned sixteen.” Behind her, she heard him draw in a sharp breath. She might have been keeping Will at arm’s length, but it still hurt to think of him judging her the way everyone else had. “Look, I know how bad it sounds. I was young, stupid, feeling rebellious … it was a lot of things.”

“Hey, look at me.” His voice was soft, a comforting vibration skittering down her spine. When she turned to face him, he was standing just a foot behind her. He reached out and touched the side of her face, fingertips skimming down her cheek before he pulled back.

“It might have been a lot of things, Mira, but one thing it wasn’t was your fault. You were just a kid.”

“I appreciate that, Will. More than you can imagine. But it’s not that simple.”

“How did it …” He stopped, turned, and sat on the edge of the bed. Patting the spot next to him, he said, “Sit. Start at the beginning.”

The usual knee-jerk denials were right there on the tip of her tongue, but there was no point in keeping it buried anymore. At least, not with Will.

She dropped down on the bed next to him. He leaned in to her, pressing his shoulder to hers, and passed her his glass of scotch. When she sipped it this time, it wasn’t so bad.

“Dad and I weren’t very close when I was little. It’s a long commute from London to LA, and I didn’t get to see him often. I idolized him anyway, though, and I loved racing because of him. When I was ten, I begged him and my mom to let me spend my summer vacation with him on the circuit. That summer was a dream come true. I got to spend all day at the track, and I finally felt like I had a dad. After that, I spent every summer with him. We were really close during those years.”

“Huh.”

She glanced over at him. “What?”

“It’s just … half the time you seem like you’re walking on eggshells around him. I get it. He’s intimidating. But I would have thought it would be different for you.”

“It was. Once. I’m getting to that. The year I turned sixteen was rough. Mom had met this guy she was serious about. Mom’s an icon for a lot of people. It can get weird. So she’s always been very cautious about dating. This one was the first to get past her defenses. That Christmas, they got engaged. I hated him.”

“Why?”

She lifted one shoulder. “Bad vibes? I was right, by the way. Mom ditched him six months later. But that’s not the point. Because Mom had been so careful about letting men into her life, it had always been just her and me. And then suddenly there was this guy there all the time … I just … I wanted my mom back and I couldn’t have her. I was happier than usual to leave it all behind and go travel with Dad for the summer. Except on my first night there, he introduced me to Natalia . This is stupid, but I felt really betrayed . First by Mom, and then by Dad, who’d really just started being a dad to me a few years before. It was like I lost him again.”

“You love Natalia, though. I’ve seen you with her.”

“I do now. But at first? I just wanted her gone. So anyway, there I was, prowling race tracks in various foreign countries, angry at everything and looking for a distraction.”

“And you found Brody.”

“He found me, actually. I’d snuck out with this girl from Logistics to go dancing in this club in Barcelona. I wasn’t looking for trouble. I just wanted to dance.”

For a second, she was blindsided by the memory of that night in Melbourne, dancing with Will. That had been the first time she’d gone dancing since Barcelona. Funny, it had ended in a kiss, too. But she was coming to realize that magic moment with Will on the dance floor in Melbourne was light years away from what had happened with Brody. Because it wasn’t about the dancing and the kiss. It was about the man.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed forward. “Anyway, he came over to me, bought me a drink, told me he’d seen me around the track. He talked to me like another adult. He flattered me. He told me I was beautiful … sexy. It was nice, being treated like a grown-up.”

“So far nothing you’ve told me sounds the least bit your fault.”

“Getting to that. I might have felt like I was being so grown-up, but I still had sense enough to keep it a secret. Dad would freak. Even setting aside the age difference, Brody drove for a rival team.”

“Ouch.”

She flinched. “I know. It was so shitty.”

“Hey, no, that’s not what I meant. I meant for you, being put in that horrible position by someone who knew better.”

“I knew better, too. I lied to everyone, all for him. And the lying wasn’t even the worst of it.” Swallowing hard, she braced herself for the next sordid tidbit. “He was engaged.”

She half-expected Will to turn on her at this point. God knows, she’d beaten herself up over it enough. But he held tightly to her hand and he didn’t seem to be making a move to flee, so she soldiered on. “In my meager defense, he told me he wanted to end it with her, but she was really unstable. It was Lulu Heatherington. You know her?”

“The actress? Yeah, I’ve heard of her.”

“He said she was this emotional basket case and he wanted out, but he was afraid it would push her over the edge and she’d kill herself. I bought the whole story. I actually felt sorry for her. And I thought he was such a great guy, trying to do the right thing by Lulu, even when he didn’t love her anymore. I was such an idiot.”

“You weren’t an idiot. He was a fucking liar.”

The venom in his voice surprised her and she twisted to look at him. “But he was engaged. And I just blew that off.”

Will closed his eyes and blew out a frustrated breath. “Mira, that had nothing to do with you.”

“But—”

“No, he was the adult with the commitment. You were the kid. And he lied to you. None of this was your fault.”

She’d been so afraid of him learning the truth, afraid he’d think the worst of her. She should have known better.

“So what happened? Did your dad catch you with him?”

“That would have been far too easy. Some paparazzo caught us making out in a bar. Brody’s a bottom-feeder in Formula One, but he’s a pretty big deal in Australia. By the next morning, it was all over all the internet. Have you ever walked through a room knowing every single person was talking about you?”

Will cocked an eyebrow. “Well, actually—”

She let out a burst of shaky laughter. Only Will could make her laugh at a time like this. She shoved his shoulder with her own. “Of course you have, but not like that. Like … like they all know something terrible about you, and you have no idea what it is.”

She would never forget that feeling. It was like the worst anxiety dream she’d ever had, except she couldn’t wake up from it. Everywhere she looked as she walked across the paddock that morning, people were staring, pointing, whispering … about her . Then she’d heard his name, “Brody,” murmured in her wake and she knew .

One internet search on her phone was all it took to bring the whole house of lies crashing down on her head. The picture was bad enough, but they’d also found out who she was. Lennox team principal Paul Wentworth’s teenage daughter. She’d fought back nausea as she’d read what they were saying about her.

Desperate racing groupie.

Trackside Lolita.

Home-wrecking teen.

And those were just the articles themselves. The comments were her first peek at the true ugliness hiding in people’s hearts.

Fucking whore.

Stupid slut.

I hope she dies.

“Mira? What happened?”

Will’s voice startled her back to the present. She’d seen only a fraction of what was said about her, but it was enough to stay with her until this day. Even now, with seven years between that moment and this one, she felt the cold horror and shame creeping over her skin like it was yesterday.

“I ran straight to Brody’s hotel room. He knew already, of course. His publicist had called him first thing that morning. He’d been manning the crisis for hours at that point.”

“And the asshole didn’t think to give you a heads-up?”

“I wasn’t his main concern anymore, as I was about to find out. I said it was too bad it had come out this way, but maybe it was for the best. Once people could see how in love we were, they’d stop saying such horrible things about me.”

Will exhaled, his hand tightening on hers. “I’m afraid to ask what he said.”

Letting out a humorless huff, she shook her head. “He smiled this patronizing little smile and said girls always blew things out of proportion. Then he told me I needed to move on, because he was marrying Lulu, and it would be really awkward for him if I made a big stink about our little fling.”

“I hope you told him to go fuck himself.”

She sighed wistfully. “That would have been nice. You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent imagining the epic ‘fuck you’ speech I should have given him. I used to practice it in the shower, and in my car when I was stuck in traffic.”

“Yeah, those things never come to you when you want them to, do they?”

“Especially not when the man you loved with all your heart just ripped it out of your chest and fed it into a paper shredder. When he got tired of my hysterics, he handed me a wad of euros and told me to go buy something pretty to cheer myself up. Then he told me to go back to my room and clean up because I was embarrassing myself. Then he kicked me out.”

“Christ.” Will downed the rest of his scotch in one gulp.

“That’s when I had my first panic attack, in a bathroom stall in his hotel lobby. We were in Budapest, and I walked around the city all night, crying. I wanted to walk until I couldn’t think or remember what had just happened. It doesn’t work that way, of course, so eventually I had to go back to the hotel. I hadn’t counted on the press lying in wait for me.”

“Shit. Mira …” He stroked a hand down her hair.

“It’s okay,” she said quickly, squeezing his other hand. “That’s when Natalia showed up. She got me inside, up to my room, just the two of us. I thought for sure she’d start screaming at me, telling me how stupid I’d been.”

“I’m guessing she didn’t do that?”

“Nope. She took one look at me and held her arms out. That’s all. I cried forever and she just held me. Natalia is the best. And she stayed right next to me while I told my dad everything. He knew already, of course. It was all over the media. God, the press … the things they said about me …”

“Nobody said anything about goddamned Brody seducing a kid?”

“Brody’s good. Or at least his PR people are. He got it out there that it was all me pursuing him, seducing him.”

“You think he talked to the media?”

“I can’t prove it, but after the photo hit, I’m pretty sure he got out in front of it right away to make sure he looked like the victim. No matter what that made me look like.”

“That fucking asshole. I knew he was a shit, but I had no idea … I get it now. How angry Paul was in Japan after that shit with Brody.”

She looked up at him. “I’m sorry you got in the middle of that.”

Will smiled at her as he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry about me. I can handle Brody. I’m guessing Paul and Brody had it out, though?”

“Dad went after Brody the next day, confronted him in the paddock, got in his face, shouting and screaming. Took a swing at him. He threatened to end his career, kill him with his bare hands …”

“Sounds about right,” Will muttered harshly. “Good for Paul. If I’d have been here, I would have held him down while Paul did it. I mean, Mira … you were a kid. Couldn’t Brody have been arrested?”

“Believe me, my mother was screaming for his head. But all the … all our encounters … had taken place in a million different countries. It was legal in most places. Brody had it coming, but Dad was a team principal, threatening a rival team’s driver. Threatening to kill him. Brody’s team filed a complaint with the FIA. They didn’t care about me and Brody, since it was technically legal. They only cared about what happened after, between Dad and Brody. In the end, they penalized Dad and Lennox for the fight. Dad was suspended from racing for a year. The team principal. Suspended from the sport.”

“I knew Paul was out of the sport for a while, but I didn’t know why.”

“It took him another year after that to convince the Lennox board of directors to give him back the team. They weren’t going to at first. And during that time, a ton of the personnel Dad had spent years recruiting left for other teams. Lennox won the constructor’s championship the year before all this happened. By the time Dad was back, Lennox was ranked twelfth on the grid. All because of me.”

“No,” Will snapped, eyes blazing with fury. “Because of Brody fucking McKnight. He’s the bad guy here.”

“But I’m the liar who dragged everyone I love into my mess. I almost ruined Dad’s career. I almost ruined this team.”

“That’s bullshit. Brody’s the one who should have paid. It might have been legal, but that doesn’t make it okay. He was a grown adult. Didn’t people give him shit for it?”

“Brody might be a wretched human being and only a mediocre driver, but he’s brilliant at crafting his narrative, I have to give him that. A month later, he married Lulu. All these gorgeous pictures of their fairy-tale wedding on Lake Como were splashed across the media. He was a handsome racing star. She was a beautiful actress. I was just some kid from LA, desperate for attention. He told everybody I’d been throwing myself at the drivers all season and he just had a ‘moment of weakness.’ Lulu called me a ‘sad, disturbed girl’ and she hoped my parents would keep better control of me in the future.”

“What a bitch.”

“Hey, she probably just believed his lies. They’re divorced now, so I’m guessing she saw through him eventually.”

She rubbed a hand across the back of her neck, emotionally wrung out and exhausted.

Will scooted back on the bed until he was leaning against the headboard, then patted the spot next to him. “Come here.”

She crawled up the bed and dropped down next to him, leaning against his shoulder. Like he could sense how tired she was, Will lifted an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. She let herself snuggle against his chest. He smelled good and felt even better, so warm and strong under her cheek.

“What did you do afterward?” he murmured, his voice a low, soothing rumble through his chest.

“I couldn’t stay on the circuit. I wanted to, but …” Abruptly her throat closed up with emotion. Every word from her last conversation with her father, before she left for LA, was still burned in her mind. He’d been so angry, so frustrated, so disappointed in her. And the suspension hadn’t even been handed down yet. She couldn’t imagine what he’d have said if she’d been there for that. But she wasn’t. By the time he was kicked out of the sport he lived and breathed, she was back home in LA, not to return for seven long years.

“Everybody agreed it would be best if I went back to LA. People were saying horrible things about me, and I kept having these panic attacks. So my mom came over and took me home. The next year was rough. I just fell apart. I wish I hadn’t let him win.” She hated admitting how weak she’d been, how she’d shattered like glass under the pressure.

He pressed his lips to her hair. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt, letting herself be wrapped up in his steady, safe embrace. After a few moments, he nudged her head back until he could look her in the eye. “Mira, he didn’t win. You’re back here, aren’t you?”

“I guess. It got better. Eventually. I finished high school, got accepted to college, and tried my best to just get on with it. I never came back here, though.” She blinked against the burning in her eyes. “That was probably the hardest part.”

“I’m surprised you wanted to come back at all after that.”

“I begged to come back. I love racing too much to let him keep taking it from me. And my dad … I ruined that. I had to come back and try to fix it.”

“Why do you think you ruined things with your dad?”

“Come on, Will. I cost him a year with the team.”

“He can’t possibly blame you—”

“He does. He said that it had been a mistake. Having me here with him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Yes, he did. That’s why I had to fight so hard to convince him to give me this chance.”

“Ah. I see.”

She lifted her head enough to see his face. “See what?”

“That’s why you work so hard. You think you’ve got something to prove.”

“I do . I’m never making a mistake like that again.”

“I’m guessing that’s also why you hated me so much when we first met. You thought I was like him.”

She laughed, nudging her shoulder into his ribs. “I didn’t hate you. But you definitely threw up a couple of red flags.”

He tightened his arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer into his side. “I hope you know by now that I’d never do something so shitty to someone.”

She laid her head down on his chest again. “I know that, Will. You’re—”

You’re perfect. That’s what she wanted to say. But it seemed like too much, especially now when she’d been crying all over him for an hour.

So she pressed her cheek against his chest instead, and whispered. “You’re one of the good ones.”

Her eyes felt hot and swollen with tears. She blinked against them, sighing with contentment as his chest steadily rose and fell under her cheek. He felt warm, and safe, and …