20. Siderus

Her lips crushed against my own ignite a fire within me that makes the magic I cast seem no more powerful than embers. This, yes, this is what I fought for. This is what I cast aside my family's status and honor to have once again. Hot tears are streaming down her cheeks, and at the feeling of them trickling over my fingers, I pull back.

I had felt so consumed by my love for her, so single-minded in my confession, I failed to consider her own feelings. I want her to forgive me. No, I need it. But it is only hers to give, and after everything I have done, I have no right to demand any such absolution.

I pull back and see her eyes wet and cheeks bright red. My heart sinks as I worry that I have hurt her once again. And yet, through the tears, she is smiling.

"Amaya, I –"

She interrupts me, placing a finger against my lips. The tears in her eyes make them sparkle like stars, and I feel myself melting.

"It's my turn," she says with a slight hiccup. "I love you, Siderus."

My years of training and strength fail me, as those simple words from her lips make my knees weak. How a simple human could turn the greatest fire wielder in Orthani into such a state of helplessness is proof of her power over me.

"I understand now just how much power your uncle held over you. That you had to endure his torment for so long… I understand, Siderus." Amaya looks up at me with such tenderness. She places her palm against my cheek, and I am so taken with her warmth that my slight flinch at the touch almost goes unnoticed.

Not to her, though. She looks confused, almost hurt. I take her hand and place it back, reminding myself that hers is a touch of comfort. Never again will I feel my uncle's ire against my face. No more will his violence guide my every waking hour. I am free of his wrath here in Amaya's arms.

"I heard so much while we've been stuck here. People talk freely, even in front of slaves. They think we don't listen, but I did. They said you were his puppet, that he raised you to show complete obedience to him, even as a grown elf. I can't imagine… I've only ever felt love from my own family."

For a moment, my heart aches for the child I once was. So long ago, I was just a small boy. Full of wonder, laughter, and kindness. That childhood, that tenderness, was violently ripped away from me by my grandparents. But Amaya brought it back to me. She's shown me the elf I could be, without Uncle's abuse and control. I want to be that for her.

Hope bubbles inside my heart. It's a feeling I have not allowed myself to express in years.

"My family." Amaya repeats the words, and I know what she's feeling even without seeing the worry knitting itself in her brow.

"They are safe," I say quickly. I want that worry to disappear, leave her face and her heart forever. "I will make sure of that. Whatever it takes, your father and brother will have their freedom and titles restored."

It is the least I can do. Her relief is instant. She believes in me and trusts that I will follow through on this promise. That means more to me than all of the power in Orthani.

"Thank you," she says. She raises herself onto her toes and places a kiss on my lips. It's so gentle, like a whisper against my skin. So different from every other time I have so voraciously claimed her mouth as my own. The featherlight touch leaves me aching for more, and I believe she knows as much.

Her breath is hot and sweet on my face and again I feel ignited. This motivation to make her happy and safe, it's so much stronger than anything I've ever felt before. How could I have allowed myself to be manipulated so far as to cause Amaya such pain?

"I'm sorry," I whisper against her lips. It comes out almost a whimper, but I'm still too proud to allow myself such blatant displays of weakness. Perhaps one day that will change. "Can you ever forgive me?"

She pulls back again, but just barely. "I do," she says. Amaya lowers back onto her feet and I chase after her, taking her lips into mine again. I restrain myself this time, only allowing just the slight taste of her.

But it is not enough for her, apparently, as she crushes into me harder. I feel her tongue part my lips and join with my own. I cannot deny her anything, certainly not this. How we must look, I think idly, as we stand here amongst the bloodied and wounded devouring each other with abandon.

An elf and a human, wrapped in each other's arms, without a single care as to what anyone else might think. Amaya is all that matters. Her scent, her taste, the warmth of her skin against mine is all I need. Let them gawk. Let them tell the King! I dare anyone, even the gods above, to challenge this love we share.

"I love you," she says again. She pulls away and takes a step back this time. She wants my full attention, and despite my physical yearnings, I give it to her. "I love you. I know who you truly are deep inside. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch. You are a gentle soul. Despite your grandparents' best efforts, I know you're still kind and good. I know you would never intentionally hurt me."

I am filled with a flood of desire. Not simply for her body, but for her approval. I want to become the elf she believes me to be. I want to cast aside my pride for her. Strip my soul bare and vulnerable, there for her judgment alone.

If she believes in me, I can accomplish anything. Should Amaya ask me to fly among the stars and bring her the moon, I know I could. I would not even question her.

"In spite of everything, I'm so glad I snuck out that day. Because I did, I got to meet you. And you are all I want, Siderus Slayer."

Her words continue to move my heart, and for the first time since I can't remember when I feel a tear escape the corner of my eye. I haven't allowed myself to cry since I was such a small boy. But now I am, and the realization hits like a cannonball to my chest. I am overwhelmed with this flood of emotion.

I press my face into her soft, curly locks. The aroma of flowers and citrus is soothing and only presses me further. Her hand runs through my hair. Her fingernails graze my scalp and send shivers up my spine.

"I love you," I say. It's a prayer, a promise. I love you. I love you. I finally understand what that means. I would do anything to protect this truth. To protect her.

I press kisses against the side of her neck. I want to worship her. I want her to know that she is so much more than the pet slave she was forced to become. I want to kneel at her altar and let her bask in the pleasure of my offerings. My lips meet her ear, and I run my tongue along the skin.

I want to take her right here, right now. Yell for every living person to leave us. I want to lay her here in the grass and flowers. I want to let the rising sun kiss her naked skin and the cool air tease her nipples while I spend hours devouring the flesh between her thighs. The thought makes blood rush to my member. I'm starting to get hard, almost overwhelmingly so.

Not here, not yet. Amaya deserves the comfort of a bed and the security of a locked door. What I want to do with her is for us alone.

I finally pull back and sweep her off the feet. The little squeak of delight she makes brightens my heart. Amaya giggles, and I find a bubble in my throat begging to do the same. If dark elves could blush, I would certainly be doing so right now.

Oh, what this human has brought me to. I must admit I adore it.

I carry her back towards the castle. I don't know what will come next, but I want her away from this carnage. Her beauty is a stark contrast to the blood and gore of the battle and does not deserve to be weathered down.

Amaya settles her head against my shoulder. Her forehead rests against the side of my neck. Her arms wrap around me tightly.

"The human slaves," she whispers by my ear. "I want to help them."

I nod. I don't know how we could. Convincing the King to forgive her family and accept the two of them together will be difficult enough. But if it is what she wants…

I turn my face away from the carnage and violence of my past. There is nothing but light ahead of us. I will fight to protect it. To protect her.

This I swear.