27. Secrets From Her Past

27

SECRETS FROM HER PAST

" T hanks for coming over," Andi said to Jack on Friday. "How much longer are you here?"

"This weekend," Jack said. "Not sure yet. I won't go until you and I are okay."

"I'm not sure what okay is anymore," she said.

It'd been a hard couple of days for her to learn what she had.

She knew that Jarrett had gone over with his brother to talk to Jack too but didn't ask about what. She wasn't sure she needed to know and if she did, she'd ask Jack herself.

"I'm sorry about that," Jack said. "No one could have predicted things would have turned out the way they had."

"Why would you put your career at risk to get me out of there?" she asked. "I believed I was in danger and now it sounds like that wasn't the case."

"Hey," Jack said. "You knew a few months after that the threat had never been verified."

"Don't play those games. It wasn't verified or credible because you knew what you were doing. You made me think that even though Winston's nephew was in custody he was somehow calling the shots still. Or someone else was. It should have been over with then."

"You know why we got you out," Jack said.

"Leo. I get it. I panicked. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I was still processing the loss of my father, then to overhear what Idid. I could have not heard correctly. But you asked me if I was feeling unsafe and then ran with it."

She wondered if she just stayed what would have happened. She would have broken up with Leo and just gone on her merry way and been done.

There was no going back though and she couldn't dwell on that.

"Your father would have wanted that," Jack said. "I couldn't take a risk. There were too many factors in play and none of them I had any control over. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."

Andi could see the sincerity in his eyes. "You're living with enough guilt," she said. "I don't want to add to it. It's just hard."

He'd been sitting in the chair while she was on the couch in her living room. The same positions they were in a few days ago when she found out more secrets from her past.

He got up and pulled her into his arms and hugged her. "I know it is. I'm sorry. If I could change anything I would. I don't do well with women. You know that."

She laughed. "Don't pull that on me. You made your choices with Sarah, but don't project them onto me."

"I thought she might be the one for me and when Luke died I just focused on you. She was jealous."

"You didn't tell me that," she said, pushing back.

"I'm trying to come clean with you as best as I can."

Which was going a long way with her. "Why was she jealous? She didn't thinkthere was something goingon with us, did she? Romantically?"

"You don't have to sound so appalled," Jack said. "I'm only nine years older than you."

She smiled. "And like an uncle," she said. "Or a cousin."

"I told Sarah that. She didn't believe me. I think the whole lifestyle got to her. She wasn't strong enough for it. It hasn't been worth even trying again. I've seen and done too much to put anyone through it."

"Don't play the martyr. You could have relationships. You could retire. You could go to another division of law enforcement for a steadier life. You like the thrill of your job."

"It's all I've got," Jack said.

"Just like my father," she said. "I'd heard it enough in my life. Or early on from my mother."

"I didn't know your mother, and your father never talked about her," Jack said.

"Not much to say. I think my mother liked the thrill of it too and she ended up pregnant. My father always wanted to do the right thing and they got married. But my mother wanted what she did and it wasn't a family or being married to a guy that didn't pay attention to her. She left."

It was hard for Andi to understand that and she often wondered if she was to blame.

But her father spent a lot of her life telling her it wasn't her fault and that it all fell on his shoulders.

Luke Huntington dedicated years trying to make it up to his only daughter. She was glad they had as close of a relationship as they'd had. She just wished she'd known what was going on in her father's life. That she could have maybe talked him out of doing what he had.

"It happens," Jack said. "Why I'm still single. I can pick up and move when I want."

"There is no reason for you to transfer to Boston," she said.

"There is. I'm going to look into it. I see what is going on with you and Jarrett. He'd do anything for you. See, that's the thing. I never felt that way toward Sarah. Toward any woman and that is on me."

"I guess my father must not have either," she said.

"Don't be sad. Don't think about it. Be happy you found someone you feel that way towards and he does for you too. I can see it. Trust me."

"Are you defending him?" she asked. This was a turnabout in her eyes.

"I'm just saying that he means well. He'll watch out for you. It doesn't mean I still can't be around, but he and his brother have a good handle on things. They know what they need to know."

"And you aren't going to share that with me, are you?"

"Do you want to know?" Jack asked. "Sometimes I think you like to be in the dark. That it's easier."

She didn't need that pointed out. It was true and she had to live with the guilt too.

"If you don't think I need to know, then I guess not. But I do want to know, do you think my father purposely got you sick that night so that you wouldn't be around?"

"I have no facts on that," Jack said.

"I don't want facts. I want your opinion."

She could see he didn't want to answer. "I do think it but have no proof. We both knew your father in different contexts."

"But he was still stubborn," she said, sniffling. "There was no talking him out of things if he was set on them."

"That's right," Jack said. "I try to remind myself of that all the time. We can only live with this guilt for so long. It's not healthy for either of us."

"No," she said. "It's not. I want things to be okay with us. You're all I've got left of my father now."

He nodded and reached for her hand, their fingers threading together. "I want that too. I thought of Luke as an older brother. I grieved like you did. I still do. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to work with a partner like I had with him."

She did know that Jack was on his own more. Her father liked having a partner. He liked training and mentoring. He was good at it.

Until he wasn't and went rogue.

"There is no one out there quite like my father," she said.

"And no one ever will be. But I think you found someone similar," Jack said. "Hold onto it if you can."

She smiled. "I will. You two are going to get along now? No more butting heads?"

"We'll see," Jack said.