Chapter Thirty-Eight

The Origin of High Lord Crossbody

Vince

Twenty minutes later, I’d finally gotten around to making Crossbody’s sandwich when I heard him coming down the stairs. I was feeling calmer after my lengthy phone call with Freddie, so I gave him a reassuring smile when he appeared at the door.

His damp hair was combed, skin still a little splotchy but less so, and he was wearing a clean shirt over some silky pyjama pants. But he still looked dazed and worn out, so when he approached, I hurriedly licked the mustard off my thumb and wrapped my arms around him as he bent his head to tuck his face into my neck.

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit better,” he croaked, before I heard him inhale deeply and he sagged against me, pressing his lips to my neck. When he stepped back long moments later, there was an embarrassed flush staining his cheeks. “I’m sorry for being so emotional.”

I could see him trying to retreat behind that aloof wall to protect himself after being so vulnerable, and I refused to let him. Cupping his chin, I pressed a firm kiss to his mouth, tasting toothpaste on his breath. He clutched the front of my T-shirt as he kissed me back almost desperately, like a part of him had thought he’d never be able to again.

Something in my chest shifted permanently, and I knew without a doubt that there was no way I was letting him leave me.

“You need to eat,” I said, my voice husky when we finally broke apart. Licking his lips, he nodded and slid into a seat at the island.

I set the plate in front of him, the sandwich a little lopsided but stuffed with meat and lettuce and tomatoes. In silence, he picked up one half and took a bite.

“I didn’t tell Holt anything except that I’ve spoken to you,” I said, starting to clear up the mess while he ate. “But… we should probably tell him what your mom has threatened to do. So he can be on alert. He might have people he knows who can stop her if she does try anything, or at least mitigate the damage.”

He cringed, keeping his head bent as he nodded. “Yes.”

“It’s not your fault, Crossbody. All you did was try to make a life for yourself. No one can control which family they’re born into or who their parents are.” After a hesitation, I found myself saying, “My parents suck too. My dad took off when I was really young, and my mom… I mean, she didn’t really want me, I guess. She wasn’t interested. My uncle raised me.”

Crossbody had stopped eating, the sandwich clutched in his long fingers as he looked at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. I gave him a tiny smile.

“It’s okay. My Uncle Robbie is a better parent anyway. I would’ve turned out a lot worse if I’d stayed with my mom.”

“There’s nothing bad about the way you turned out, Vince. You’re…” He licked his lips and looked back down at his sandwich. “Wonderful.”

Heat crept into my cheeks, making me clear my throat self-consciously. “Anyway, uh… yeah. I just… This isn’t about me.”

“I want to know, though,” he said quietly. “I want to know everything about you.”

“I’ll tell you later.” I smiled at him. “When this is all over.”

The reminder had him loosing an unsteady breath and setting his half-eaten sandwich down. Quickly locating the glasses, I filled one with water and passed it to him.

“Vince, I just…” He shook his head weakly. “I don’t see how there’s any other way.”

“There is,” I told him. “You’re not going back there. And you’re definitely not fucking marrying Iana.”

Over my dead body.

“Ianthe.” He corrected me automatically, then took a shaky sip of water. “How?”

“I know some people who might be able to help.”

He stared at me. “Who?”

“I’ll tell you after you’ve finished your sandwich.” I nodded sternly at it. Trying to inject some levity, I added, “I’m not having that beautiful ass waste away because you aren’t eating enough.”

A tiny smile tilted his mouth, and he dutifully picked up his sandwich and had another bite.

“This is good,” he mumbled around his mouthful. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know what half the meats I put in it are, but I just added a bit of everything.”

He snorted weakly, smiling at me again. “You have a knack for making gourmet sandwiches.”

“Well, I was a fry cook at a burger place for a while when I was a teenager.” I shrugged, wiping the crumbs I’d left off the counter to dump them in the sink. “Wasn’t gourmet burgers, but still.”

“What was it like?” he asked curiously, reminding me that his childhood had been very, very different to mine.

“Working at a burger joint?” I chuckled. “It was fine. Except I left every shift stinking of grease.”

“When I started sneaking over to this world without my mother knowing, I… I would see places like that—fast food restaurants and bars with their neon signs and bright lights and so many people…” He picked a tomato slice out of his sandwich and delicately nibbled on it. “It was all so foreign to me. Intimidating.”

“Yeah. I bet it was,” I said, watching him.

“It felt forbidden. I knew my mother wouldn’t approve, but I just wanted to see what it was like here. We heard stories about this world from the fae who visited, but we—my brothers and I—weren’t allowed to come here. My mother didn’t want us to be… tainted by a world she deemed too modern and filthy and hedonistic.” He snorted. “Even though the fae are hedonistic in their own ways.”

“How old were you when you started coming here?” I asked curiously. “Did your mom ever find out? Before you left, I mean.”

“Twenty-two. It was terrifying at first, but it got easier each time. I got more used to how loud and crowded it was. And yes, my mother found out. A guard saw me leaving one night, and she was waiting for me when I got back to tell me I wasn’t allowed to come here again.”

“What did you do when you came here?”

“Not much at first. Wandered the streets, watching everyone. I was too scared to go into any shops or bars or restaurants, knowing I would make a fool of myself. But eventually I plucked up the courage to go into a bar, and performing on stage was Corey in drag.”

I blinked in shock. “Really?”

“Yes. After his show, he spotted me in the crowd and realised I was fae, so he came over to introduce himself.” Crossbody shook his head with a tiny smile. “He told me he was an orc. I’d never met any other supernatural species before then. I’d never met any humans either. I’d definitely never met a drag queen.”

I laughed. “Corey in drag is an impressive sight.”

“Yes. Suddenly I was talking to this huge male orc wearing a beautiful dress and a giant wig and heels, in the middle of a crowded bar in the human world, and I thought, ‘I want this kind of freedom. I want to be able to do whatever I want.’”

A lump formed in my throat. “Kind of a culture shock, huh?”

He nodded. “Yes. But the best kind. It made me braver. I found a way to keep coming here, despite my mother’s best efforts, and I wanted her to see that she couldn’t control me completely. Corey bought me some modern clothes and I would wear them at the palace. She didn’t like it at all.”

“So did Corey help you move here? Leave Otherworld?”

“In a way. He told me to come and watch him wrestle. Bought me a ticket. And when I went to the show, it was just… so far removed from everything I’d ever known. Loud and hectic and bright and chaotic. Completely exhilarating. And the audience loved the wrestlers for something real, something they enjoyed and worked hard for. That was what I wanted. A purpose for myself.”

My teeth ground together as I remembered what he’d told me—his mother saying that his only purpose and reason for existing was to continue her name and bloodline. Saying that he was her property to do as she pleased with.

“When Corey found me after the show, I asked him to introduce me to the manager,” Crossbody continued. His shoulders rose in a delicate shrug. “And then I asked Holt how I could join Goliaths.”

“What did he say?”

Crossbody huffed a tiny laugh. “At first, he said he couldn’t decide whether he was impressed or offended by my ‘ballsiness.’ But when I told him who I was, he completely lit up at the idea of having a fae prince on the docket.”

I grunted. “Sounds like Holt. Loves a gimmick.”

“Yes. But because I had absolutely no experience, he told me to come back in a year. So I spent that year sneaking out to train with Corey, practising every moment I could, getting fitter. When the year was up, I went back to Holt and he finally offered me a job. Mostly thanks to Corey’s assurance that I had been training hard.”

“So that was when you moved here?”

“Not at first. I…” He hunched up. “I lied and said my mother didn’t have a problem with it, because I was scared that he’d rescind the offer. But I also had no idea how I would be able to do it, because I still didn’t really know anything about this world. I had no idea how to find somewhere to live, how I’d even get to work… At first, I planned to stay in Otherworld so my mother never realised what I was doing, and come over as much as I could.”

My brow quirked. “That wouldn’t have worked, anyway.”

“No. I realised that very quickly. So I asked Holt for a bit of time to get my affairs in order, and I planned to start figuring the rest out now that it was actually a possibility, and then…” He swallowed. “My mother informed me that I was to marry Princess Ianthe in two weeks’ time. Just like that. Not even a courting period, not even a chance to sit down with her beforehand.”

I clenched my jaw. “Had you even met her at that point?”

“Once or twice. At gatherings. My mother has been trying to create a stronger alliance with the Summer Court for a while, and when my older brother realised he couldn’t have children…”

“How did he realise that?” I couldn’t imagine them having fertility tests in Otherworld.

“He was on his fourth wife by then,” Crossbody said dully. “Each time his wife failed to get pregnant, Mother divorced them and made him marry someone new. They eventually realised that the issue was with him.”

I swallowed. “So that was when she decided…”

“That I had to produce heirs for her.” He nodded stiffly. “All she cares about is continuing her bloodline. Making sure her family name remains in power. I have a younger brother too, but leaving it to him would be cutting it too fine for her. If he also has fertility issues, then her bloodline would die out with him. I was the safer bet. She wanted to get her future heirs secured with plenty of time to spare.”

“Are you even attracted to women?” I asked tightly. “I mean, I guess she wouldn’t care either way.”

“She wouldn’t. And I am, but… I’m not attracted to Ianthe.” He looked up at me. “There’s nothing wrong with her, but she’s a stranger. Another pawn like me. And all I could see was this… bleak, loveless existence in front of me. Where the only thing I achieved with my life was creating heirs for my mother with a woman I didn’t love. I didn’t want to bring children into that. I didn’t want them to have the lonely childhood I had or be controlled by her like I was. And by then I knew what else was out there. What I could do and achieve for myself. The freedom I could have. So I fled Otherworld the next night.”

I rounded the island to wrap my arms around his neck, kissing the top of his head. “That was really brave.”

“Or cowardly, depending on how you look at it.” He sounded wooden.

“No,” I said vehemently. “It was brave. You came to a place that was completely foreign to you, all on your own, to make a life for yourself, knowing how your shitty mom would react. That’s braver than anything I’ve ever done.”

After a pause, he turned his head to nuzzle my throat. “Thank you, Vince.”

“And your mom can make all the stupid fucking threats she wants, but she’s not going to win.”

He seemed calmer now as he rubbed his nose against my collarbone. “How?”

I chuckled, releasing him and nodding at his plate. “Finish your damn sandwich and then I’ll tell you.”

He huffed and shoved the last bit in his mouth, washing it down with some water.

“Feel better?” I asked, taking the plate.

“Yes.” He nodded, lowering the glass. “Thank you. Please tell me, Vince.”

I hesitated, putting the plate in the sink then turning to face him.

“Okay, so… I used to work as a janitor for this garbage disposal firm…”