Chapter 4

4

M arch 1812 - Kent

In the spring, Elizabeth journeyed to her close friend’s house, the Hunsford parsonage, which was attached to the estate of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mr. Darcy’s aunt. For five days, she had relative peace, watching Charlotte (née Lucas) oversee her household and Mr. Collins, her father’s cousin and heir, go about the business of shepherding his flock. However, the morning prior, Charlotte‘s husband rushed from his patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s presence to announce that her two nephews, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam, arrived for their annual stay. According to Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine was convinced that Mr. Darcy would finally propose to Lady Catherine’s sickly daughter, Anne, resulting in celebrations that would be extended to encompass the great lady’s parson, his wife, and their guest.

Elizabeth scoffed. If she knew anything about Mr. Darcy, it was that nobody was going to tell him what to do. Had she not already tried and failed when she told him not to offer for her, and he did it anyway? Men!

Later that evening, Charlotte invaded Elizabeth’s chambers.

“Your distress with my husband’s announcement was obvious. What happened between Mr. Darcy and you in Hertfordshire, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth lay back on the colorful quilt. Closing her eyes, she recalled the events of autumn.

“You will think I am silly, I have no doubt, since you are my most sensible friend. Do you remember my accident during my stay at Netherfield Park when Jane was ill? What was not made known was that it was not a footman who found and rescued me when I fell. It was Mr. Darcy who carried me almost the length of the park.”

“Lizzy!”

“I know, Charlotte. Despite the fact that my fall was an accident and there was likely to be no expectation resulting from a compromise, he explained to Papa that he would do his duty as a gentleman by offering marriage to me.”

Charlotte’s hand shot to her mouth. “Oh, my! Mr. Darcy?”

“Yes, well, his focus on duty rather than tender concern added to the pain from my injury caused me to be as abrupt with my response as was his offer to me. Everything about the process felt cold and distant like we would never be able to see the way to felicity. There was no possibility of my agreement. As you are aware, I did not attend Mr. Bingley’s ball. The next day the whole of the Bingley party, including Mr. Darcy, vacated the premises and never returned.”

“Lizzy, it is likely that you will be in Mr. Darcy’s company here. You will not be able to avoid him.”

“I have already been in Mr. Darcy’s company, Charlotte. The past two days he walked the same path as me. Tomorrow, though, I shall choose a different part of Rosings Park to explore.”

“Lizzy!”

Elizabeth did not like the grin on her friend’s face.

“Could it possibly be that he regrets your refusal?” Charlotte asked.

What? Of course not!

Charlotte added, “When you were both at Lucas Lodge, his eyes followed your every move. During the card party at your aunt’s house in Meryton he did the same. I suspect that if you were to ask him his intentions, he would have, perhaps reluctantly, shared that he was enamored of you.”

“Never! This is Mr. Darcy we are talking about, Charlotte. He is destined for someone of elevated rank, not a simple girl from the wilds of Hertfordshire.”

“Longbourn is hardly a wilderness, Lizzy.”

“Be that as it may, Mr. Darcy has no interest in me.”

“Are you absolutely certain of that?”

“Absolutely!”Elizabeth insisted. “He rarely speaks to me and never looks at me, so your speculation is flawed, Charlotte. Only in your dreams would Mr. Darcy genuinely care for me. I will promise that when we are forced together socially, we will meet as indifferent acquaintances. Thus, Lady Catherine will have no reason to shun me as competition for her daughter’s claims on the man.”

“I do not know, Lizzy.” Charlotte cautioned, “I think you are closing your eyes to an opportunity that few women would ever have. Do not be a simpleton by allowing your standards for what you demand in a marriage to make you appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times the consequence of any unattached male in Hertfordshire.”

“Do not be concerned, my friend. I only desire to keep my expectations from rising when nothing at all will come from Mr. Darcy’s being in Kent.”

Darcy had used every means of trickery to evade his cousin’s inquiry. Richard Fitzwilliam had earned his rank as an expert in military strategy, so he knew exactly which questions to ask to garner whatever information he needed. At the moment, he wanted to know Darcy’s private business.

“Am I not welcome to join you for a walk about the grounds? This is the third day in a row that you refused my company. If I did not know better, I would think I had fallen out of your favor. Yet, that cannot be, for who would rescue you from the dragon’s lair.”

“Do not refer to our aunt as a dragon, Richard.”

“I was speaking of Cousin Anne.”

Darcy was quick to divert Richard’s attention back to the point of conversation. “I have a weighty matter to consider that is private, Richard. It is for this reason alone that I choose to stroll Rosings without your company. I do my best thinking in solitude.” Darcy adjusted the perfectly tied knot in his cravat and swept a loose wave of his hair from his brow. He stepped closer to the mirror. Was that a spot Parker missed when he shaved him? No, it was a mere shadow.

Richard Fitzwilliam leaned back in his chair, stretching his feet out in front of him. He was the picture of relaxation until one noticed the piercing gaze and the grimness of his jaw.

“Weighty matter? Is that what you call her?” His cousin arched his brow in the same manner Miss Elizabeth had done anytime she called his opinions into question.

Darcy spun on his heel, his breath catching. “Her?”

Sitting erect, Richard said, “Dark hair tucked under her bonnet, pert chin, well-pleasing figure, good posture, walking as far away from you as possible on the forest path? She is not our cousin Anne, Darcy. Lady Catherine will be furious if she knows you are trying to flirt with someone who is not her daughter.”

“Trying to flirt? Whatever do you mean?”

His cousin laughed. “My friend, from a distance, it appeared that you were chasing, and she was running as fast as she was able.”

“Bah! You know nothing.” Rubbing his hand over his mouth, Darcy paced. What should he hide from his most trusted friend? What could he reveal? After a moment’s pause, he said, “Her name is Elizabeth Bennet. She is not a stranger to me.”

Richard nodded. “Ah, I see. I have heard her name from Anne. She is a guest at the parsonage and a friend of Mr. and Mrs. Collins. How do you know her?”

Sitting across from his cousin, Darcy said, “We met in Hertfordshire. Her father’s estate is neighbor to the house Bingley leased. Because society was limited, we were often together. You should know that Bingley imagined himself in love at first sight with Miss Elizabeth’s eldest sister. Yet, my first impressions of the Bennet family showed them to be a crass and grasping sort. Thus, at the beginning, I did not present the best version of myself to any of them.”

“What did you do?”

Darcy ran his hands over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his brows. “I insulted Miss Elizabeth. To her face.”

“Good god, Darce. I know you have long been uncomfortable in public when you are not particularly acquainted with others, but this is rather rude, even for you.”

“Thank you, Cousin.” Darcy sneered. He swallowed the cooling tea, granting him time to compose himself. “I had no idea that Miss Elizabeth heard my insults. In fact, I forgot that I said anything about her at all. Several weeks later, while her elder sister and she were at Netherfield, Miss Elizabeth ignored me. I assumed she planned to increase my interest by acting completely opposite Caroline Bingley. I completely misread her, Richard. She was not attempting to curry my favor. Nor was she trying to use arts and allurements to increase my affections. In my pride as Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, the premier potential bridegroom on the marriage mart for the past five years, I never suspected how much she resented me.”

“Too bad, old chap.”

“The least you could do is utter the words with a modicum of sincerity, Richard. Your grin is not appreciated.”

“Ha! I happen to have it from several ladies that my smile is my most attractive feature, Darcy. You are just sour because, for the first time in your privileged life, you did not get what you wanted.” Slapping his knees, Richard stood. “I like Elizabeth Bennet already. I take it that you do, too.”

Resting his head on the back of the chair, Darcy admitted. “I do. Very much. She is unlike any young woman I have ever met. She walked three miles from Longbourn to Netherfield to care for her sister when she became ill. Three miles! She tolerated Caroline Bingley’s venom with grace. When she expresses her opinions freely, they are well-studied opinions, Rich. And her laughter is delightful.”

“Yet, you chose to insult her to her face. How could you, Darcy?”

He felt his cousin’s disappointment deep in his heart. There was no man Darcy admired or respected more than Richard.

“As you are already aware, there is no excuse that could satisfy any impartial judge. I will only state that the day was long and miserable. Bingley coerced me to go to that blasted assembly the evening of my arrival in Hertfordshire. His sister was a burr caught on my…well, I will not say aloud where it felt like she was caught, but nothing I did got rid of her. When we arrived at the assembly, the first words that I discerned in the cacophony were how tall and wealthy I was. Speculation about my annual income fairly raced around the room. Mothers paraded their daughters under my nose. I felt hunted.”

Richard nodded. “I have seen it many times in London. You, who want to be left alone, are suddenly surrounded by a press of ladies batting their eyelashes and swishing their fans to capture your attention. While Bingley loves it, you do not.”

“You do, too, Richard. But you are correct. This time, however, the truth was that Mrs. Bennet threw her eldest at Bingley, a lady my friend delighted to catch. Then, she backed away, not attempting to push any of her four remaining girls at me. At the time, I was relieved. Now that I think about it, her conduct was odd. I was a single man with a fortune at my fingertips, and she did nothing to draw me in.”

“All five daughters are out?”

“They are. Miss Bennet, I guess, is near Bingley’s age. The youngest is the same age as Georgiana. For certain, all five do not possess the accomplishments that so many ladies in our sphere acquire from birth. Their father is indolent in his care of the family estate and in overseeing the future of his daughters. Their mother is vulgar. But Elizabeth and her elder sister have risen above these challenges. They are ladies through and through.” Darcy sighed.

“Hmm.” Richard filled their cups. After sitting across from Darcy, he said, “That had to be hard on you, having Bingley show you up for the first time.”

“What? No. Not at all.” Darcy fumed. “That never crossed my mind. I just wanted out of the assembly. I wanted privacy and quiet. Had I not known that Miss Bingley would have followed me back to Netherfield Park, I would have called for the carriage and left. Bingley was welcome to all the attention he could get.”

“I see.” Richard sipped his tea. “How did Miss Elizabeth react the next time you saw her?”

Closing his eyes, Darcy easily recalled the scene. “We were at Lucas Lodge, the former home of Mrs. Collins. It was quickly evident that the two eldest Miss Bennets and Miss Charlotte Lucas were intimates. Bingley singled out Jane Bennet like he was a sheepdog, and she was the prized lamb. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Lucas remained together the whole of the night. When Miss Lucas’s father requested that I dance with Miss Elizabeth, she refused me by saying she had no intention of dancing. Since her younger sisters were making a spectacle of themselves, I assumed she was attempting to set a good example by tempering her natural desires to participate in hopes of restoring Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia to better behavior. I now know that she truly did not want to stand up with me.”

“You really made a muddle out of this, Darce.”

“You do not know the half.”

“Then tell me.”

Darcy huffed. “Elizabeth is exceedingly kind, with a gentleness that draws me to her. Her mind is quick. She is not mean-spirited. I sense that injustice angers her deeply as it does me. When she smiles, which is often, her eyes light up like the sun.”

“Thus, your insult would have cut her deeply.”

Darcy hung his head. “Yes.”

“I am curious. Did she ever accept your offer for a dance?”

“She did not. Bingley held a ball on the last evening we were in Hertfordshire. Because of an injury she sustained while walking a particularly rough path at Netherfield Park, Miss Elizabeth did not attend.”

Quietly, his cousin asked, “So you never had the privilege of holding her hand. That is too bad.”

Standing, Darcy moved to the window overlooking Rosings Park’s massive gardens. “I not only held her hand, but I also held her in my arms when I carried her back to the house after she fell on the path. With her hands wrapped around my neck and her head resting on my shoulder, I…well, I realized how well her heartbeat was in tandem with mine. I liked her before her fall. But at that minute, I felt the beginning of love for the first time in my adult life.”

“What did you do then?”

“I requested the attendance of her father so I could honorably offer my hand in marriage.”

Richard’s eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline. “You are betrothed?”

“Not only did she refuse to dance with me. She soundly refused to marry me.”

His cousin’s mouth gaped open.

“I, too, was shocked beyond belief.” Tracing a pattern on the carpet with the toe of his boot, Darcy continued. “She was injured. Her pain must have been incredible. I thought she lashed out because of this. Two weeks later, at the ball, I discovered from a crass comment made by her youngest sister that Elizabeth Bennet had no love for me at all, that she did not even like me. The next morning, I left for London with no intention of ever seeing her again.”

“How is that working out for you, Darcy? Here you are. And here she is.”

“Yes, she is here.” Darcy sighed. “For four months, I tried everything to purge her from my mind and heart, but not once since late November has anyone else tempted me in the slightest. I find myself comparing others to her, and they always fall short. As it is, all it took was one glance two days ago to realize that I was done searching for my mate. I only want her. Need her.”

“Well, Darce, it sounds like Miss Elizabeth does not want or need you.”

“I know.”He rubbed the discomfort from his chest.

“What are you going to do about it? Just know that whatever you plan, I will support you. However, Lady Catherine and Anne will not. You are walking along a dangerous line here at Rosings Park, trying to court someone under our aunt and cousin’s noses. Are you sure that this is the best field of battle? Would it not be better to wait until you are back in London, or could you return to Hertfordshire when the lady goes home?”

“This is the only opportunity I have, Richard. I will not pass up this chance to make a better second impression.”

“Might I ask what you talk about during your walks?”

“Talk?” Darcy was flummoxed. “Like me, she enjoys silence when walking out of doors. We are each unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb.”

“Of you, I can believe this, Darcy. Of her? I do not know her. With that said, it sounds as if you do not know her well either.”

“I intend to remedy that neglect.”

“You have already walked with her twice by your own account. Do not wait too long, Cousin. Seize the day.”

Carpe diem!