Chapter 41

Chapter Forty-One

Bess

I could barely stand, my head spinning like I was the one on the merry-go-round. But I couldn’t lean on Charlie for support. I couldn’t lean on anyone.

“What’s going on, Charlie?” I asked him again, my voice cracking.

He glanced at his car. “I… I was going to tell you, I swear. They’re doing some restructuring at the agency. Some layoffs. I’ve tried to talk my dad out of it but he won’t budge.” He cast a dark look at Teresa. “Trust me, it’s not my idea.”

“But you knew about it, Charlie,” my friend shot back. “Why doesn’t she know she’s losing her job?”

“I’m losing my job?” I couldn’t breathe. “When?”

“In two weeks.” Teresa stared at Charlie like she was challenging him to a duel. “I bought a condo, Charlie. I signed on the dotted line a week ago. No one warned me about this. No one.”

“Wait.” Charlie frowned. “ You’ve been fired? Dad said it was just the production team.”

“Then I must be special,” Teresa bit out. “I’m not stupid, though. Everyone kept asking where you were, and nobody seemed to know. Except me…. And it turns out, Trevor. And when I couldn’t get hold of Bess….Fuck, I thought you’d made a pelt out of her.” She glanced at my leg. “What happened to you? Did he hurt you?”

“No! I tripped and fell. That’s probably when I lost my phone.” I looked pleadingly into my friend’s eyes. “I appreciate you coming all the way here. I hate that you had to worry about me.”

She looked a little ashamed. “Well, I was worried about you, but I also wanted to find this guy and hear it from him.” She turned to Charlie, her gaze fire and ice. “Your dad’s a sociopath, so I expect this from him. But how do you sleep at night?”

Charlie swallowed. “Poorly. I hate this. You must believe me.”

“Come on, girl, I’ll drive you home.” Teresa offered me her arm, along with a compassionate look.

I glanced over my shoulder. “My daughter is here with my mom. They’re on the carousel.”

“Well, let’s go find them,” Teresa looked at the town square where colorful lights blinked, and carnival music played. It had sounded so cheerful earlier but now made me think of a horror film soundtrack.

“Please, Bess.” Charlie’s voice cracked. “Let’s go for a drive. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”

“It’s been a week, Charlie. You’ve had plenty of time to tell her everything.” Teresa stared at him blankly, and Charlie visibly squirmed.

She was right. He could have told me at any point. Before we slept together. Before I fell for him. That hurt. It hurt so much that my insides ached, sending signals of pain all the way to my fingertips. “I can’t, Charlie.”

“But, I have plans. I’m trying to fix this. I was going to?—”

Just like Jack. Desperately fixing things behind my back, never letting me know how deep a hole he’d dug for himself. I couldn’t live like this. Not anymore. My vision blurred, and I stumbled off the sidewalk, along the cobblestones. As one aimless group, we moved towards the town square until Teresa spotted my mother and Celia emerging from behind a hotdog stand.

Charlie ran ahead of us and reached my mom. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I saw Mom’s posture straighten. What was Charlie saying to her and why couldn’t I walk any faster? I’d left the crutches in the car, happy to lean on Charlie. Teresa offered me her arm again and this time I accepted, taking the weight off my aching foot, waiting for Mom to reach me.

She touched my arm, her eyes glossy with tears. “I’m so sorry, Bessie. You don’t deserve this. But we’ll figure it out. You’ll find another job.”

Teresa huffed. “There’ll be a lot of people looking for that other job now.”

“But you have great references. Right, Charlie?” Mom eyeballed him.

“The best! But she won’t need them. I’ll?—”

“I promised Celia a hotdog and an ice cream and there’s supposed to be a hayride. Why don’t you take Bess for a little drive?”

“She doesn’t want to drive anywhere with him,” Teresa announced.

“Why don’t we let Bess decide,” Mom countered softly.

I stared at them, my heart in tatters. My only work friend who’d always had my back, and the man who’d lied to me all week. The man I loved, against my better judgement, just like I’d loved Jack. I’d survived one blow. Would I survive another? Mom seemed to think so, taking Celia’s hand, pointing at the hotdog stand.

“I don’t know,” I said, fighting tears. “I can’t make this choice.”

“I can,” Charlie said, scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder. “We’ll be back in an hour.”

“That’s kidnapping, you fucking ogre!” Teresa screeched as I wriggled in Charlie’s firm grip. “I’m recording you on my phone. She’ll sue you! We have evidence.”

“She can clean me up any time,” Charlie muttered, too quietly for Teresa to hear.

From the clicking of heels, I knew she was right behind us. Charlie didn’t care, marching across the square and down the road. I directed my anger at his backside, hammering it with my fists. He didn’t react or even slow down, but clutched me so tightly I couldn’t have escaped. Not that I wanted to. There was no strength or conviction behind my thrashing arms, only despair. I didn’t want to get away from him. I wanted to punch him and scream at him. I wanted him to hold me tightly to his chest until I woke up from this nightmare. I wanted him to tell me none of it was true.

We’d had something good. So good. And he’d taken it away. Destroyed it. How was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?

When we reached the side street and his car, Charlie shoved me into the passenger seat, hopped behind the wheel and locked the doors before Teresa caught up with us, leaving her standing in the middle of the street, her phone held high.

“What now?” I asked Charlie, my heart pounding in my chest. “You can kidnap me but you can’t force me to trust you.”

He sped down the street, not looking at me. “No. But I only need to imprison you for forty-eight hours for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in.”

“What?”

“Just kidding.”

Was he kidding? I fastened my seatbelt, scanning the road ahead. Could I throw myself out of the car next time he had to stop? I couldn’t run. He’d catch me in seconds.

“Don’t even think about it, Bess. I know this isn’t right, but I have no choice. I need you to hear me out.”

“Is it not true? Have I not lost my job? Did you not know about it and choose not to tell me?”

“No, that’s all true. But it’s not the whole truth.”

“You seduced me. You made sure that when I found out, it would hurt so much more.” I fought for a breath, tears gushing out.

“No! I never meant to sedu… I never meant for anything to happen between us. I mean, I liked you. I admired you. I thought you were hot. But I just wanted to help. I wanted to find a way to save your job. Get you to help me with the campaign and get you a new job in the creative team.”

“So, that was your grand plan? For me to jump teams to save my skin when everyone else gets fired?”

“Well, yeah.”

Everyone I worked with, gone. And me, hooking up with the Creative Director, securely employed by his side. I shuddered at the image.

“That’s not who I am, Charlie. I know I’m screwed financially, but I wouldn’t do that. I don’t want to win like that.”

“Well, it was the best I could think of, at the time. I can’t save everyone.”

“So, you decided to just save me?” A terrifying thought bubbled up. “Is that why I’m here? The retreat at Rubie Ridge… it was you, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was me. But I think you deserved it. I think your work is outstanding. And you have so much more to offer. You’re smart and strategic… you have great ideas. I wanted you to see that. I wanted everyone to see that.”

I sighed, thoroughly exasperated. “You can’t fix me or my life, Charlie. I’m not your project! If you want to be with me, you have to be honest with me. I want a partnership. I want open communication. Not this.” I shook my head, tears streaming down.

“I know I messed up. Trust me. But by then it was too late. I couldn’t go back in time. I couldn’t change anything. And I was going to tell you.”

“When? You had all week.”

“I know! I was going to tell you now. That’s why I asked you to go for a drive.”

“Well, we’re driving now,” I said. “What else is there? What else have you kept from me?”

He slowed down, turning onto a gravel road until we came to a mailbox. Charlie parked in the driveway, helping me out of the car. “Let’s start with this.”

He led me around an old wooden villa, on to an overgrown backyard. He gestured at a shoddy-looking treehouse with a hanging ladder. “This is my motel room. I couldn’t find anything else.”

“Seriously?” I limped closer, examining the worn-out rope ladder moving in the breeze.

“You might have trouble getting up there with your leg, but I wanted to show you, anyway. So that I don’t leave anything out.”

Feeling more than a little stubborn, I positioned my healthy leg on the first rung, using every ounce of my strength to pull myself up. Charlie didn’t try to stop me, but stood underneath, spotting me as I slowly climbed up—foot, knee, foot, knee—until I reached the small doorway. As I crawled in, I felt him behind me, trapping me inside.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to come up here. I couldn’t storm out. I had no exit strategy. But Charlie had been good to me. I’d had the best and worst week of my life, and he was inseparably wrapped up in all of it. There was still a chance I was carrying Charlie’s baby. I had to hear him out.

I perched myself on the edge of the mattress and I waited for him to look at me. “What did you say to my mom? Why was she pushing me to go for a drive with you?”

He sat back, looking away. “I talked to her a bit earlier. I told her I’m in love with you and…”

“And what?”

He drew a sharp breath and met my gaze. The afternoon light pouring through the window reflected off his eyes, turning them into liquid pools. “I told her about your job, and how I was trying to fix it. What I was going to do.”

I blinked twice, as if to dispel the image. “What? You told her before you told me?”

“I needed her help.”

A flash of fury rose to my chest. “So this is all some elaborate kidnapping plan you cooked up with my mother? That’s why I’m here?” I sat up on the bed, hitting my head on the low ceiling. “Ouch!”

How had Charlie spent a night in this tiny space?

His voice brimmed with desperation. “I’m not trying to manipulate you or make you feel anything. If you want to go, go. I won’t stop you. I’ll drive you back. I only brought you here because I needed you to hear the whole story. I couldn’t let you walk away thinking the worst.”

“Thinking what? That you brought me here on false pretenses, that you’ve been playing with my feelings all week, trying to win me over, get me to help you with a campaign that you’re failing at by appealing to my sense of duty over a job I’ve already lost. Then sleeping with me and asking me not to worry about a broken condom because you might want a baby… I still haven’t taken that pill, by the way.” I filled my lungs, my whole body shaking. “Is that the worst, or am I leaving something out?”

He reached for his pocket and pulled out my phone, handing it over with hands that shook as much as mine. “I also took this so you wouldn’t hear about the job stuff before I could tell you.”

“Seriously? You stole my phone?” I stared at it, still as dead as it had been in the forest.

“I don’t have a charger for it, sorry.”

“What else, Charlie? Did you drug me and harvest my kidney? Is that why my back hurts?”

He winced. “That’d be the hammock. Mine’s killing me.” He leaned against the wall, grimacing from the pain. “Gran warned me about this, and she doesn’t know the half of it. But she knows me, I guess. She told me to come clean and beg for mercy. My plan was terrible. It was so stupid. But it got us closer. I got to know you. And that’s the part I don’t regret. That’s the best part. I always liked you. I had a crush on you… but I didn’t plan to fall in love.”

My chest squeezed, and I spent a moment fighting tears. I stared at the dust particles that floated in the air between us, illuminated by the light streaming from the small window. “Why are we here, Charlie? Why Rubie Ridge? You could have asked me to help you with that campaign anywhere.”

Charlie chewed on his bottom lip. “My dad sent me to Rubie Ridge, to think about the campaign. But I knew I needed help. I needed someone who understood the target audience.”

“And that’s where I came in?”

“Sort of.” His voice sounded a little choked up, eyes searching around the room like he couldn’t bear to look at me. “You have to understand… I’ve had this crush on you for a long time. There’s something about you. This strength and determination. Purpose. This passion you try to hide… You’re one in a billion, Bess. And I’m the luckiest guy to spend any time in your presence.” His voice cracked, and he looked out the window, clearing his throat. “I know it looks like I have it all, but I don’t. I’m quite lost. I feel useless. Undeserving. I get reminded about that daily. But with you, I feel grounded. Like I have a purpose and a… home. Like I don’t have to look for something else or order something. I’ve always wanted to make a difference, not just sell shit. With you, I feel like maybe I could.”

He was quiet for a while. I could barely breathe. I just watched him, my heart aching.

When he spoke again, he was finally looking at me, eyes burning with conviction. “I want to break free, Bess. I’ve been planning… I want to start my own business and run it differently. Pick meaningful jobs. I don’t have that much capital. It’s all tied up with my family. In trusts. And once I tell Dad, those taps will close. But I can sell my stuff. I’ve already got Trevor sorting it out. He’s joining me. Him and Lee.”

“You don’t want Teresa?”

He glanced up, surprised. “I didn’t think she’d be interested. And frankly, I’m scared of her.”

“Me too,” I admitted. “But she has a good heart.”

“Yeah, sure. And she’s a great designer. But I don’t think she’d ever want to work with me.”

“Don’t assume. Ask her.” I owed my friend that much.

“If you want her, I’ll take you both. But I need you, Bess. Will you join me?”

My heart was in danger of hammering right out of my chest. “You want to start a new company and want me to work for you?”

“Not as an employee. As a shareholder.”

My breath hitched. “But I have nothing. Nothing but debt.”

“Your debt is my debt, Bess. We’ll handle it together. I spoke to your mom. You’re paying crazy high interest. I want to pay off your loan. You can pay it back to me instead, whatever you want. I don’t care. But we shouldn’t put any more money into the loan sharks’ pockets.”

“We? It’s my loan. Jack’s loan.”

“Whatever it is, it stands in the way of you living life. So, it needs to go.”

“But how can you afford that? Even if you sold everything?—”

“Gran is investing in the business. She’ll do the accounts.”

I took a deep breath, my head still spinning. “You’ve been busy, Charlie.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I kept things from you. You’re allowed to hate me for that, but please don’t run away. Please don’t leave me. I’m terrified of all this. I can’t do this without you.”

I’d never seen a grown man cry. Jack must have, in the end, but he hid it from us. He hid everything, whereas Charlie sat there in the dim little doll’s house, weeping his guts out.

“Charlie,” I said, my heart pulling me to him, fueled by some unstoppable force. “I’m not running away. I’ve only got one leg.” I edged closer until he was sobbing against my shoulder. “Also, I think Stockholm syndrome is kicking in.”

“Is it?” He lifted his chin, blue eyes red rimmed, yet filled with hope.

“Yeah, it must be. Because I think I’m in love with you, Charlie.”

His tear-stained face broke into a huge grin, and he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me so tightly I had to fight to fill my lungs. “Finally.”

He hugged me for a long time until his breathing settled, and tears dried. “I love you, Bess. Am I allowed to say it now? I love you so much. I love Celia. I didn’t even want to think about losing you. It hurts too much.”

“So, you kidnapped me?”

“It felt like the sensible thing to do.” He laughed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

Then he kissed me with such purpose, I would have fallen had I not been sitting. Charlie half-dragged, half-carried me onto the mattress, trapping me under his weight. I was truly kidnapped now, with no hope of escape. Did I want to run?

“Is there anything else, Charlie?” I asked breathlessly.

“Nothing else, I swear. You already know my spending is out of control and my family is… complicated. But?—”

“I’m not looking for perfection. I’m not perfect. We’ll both make mistakes.”

“I’ve made quite a few this week.” He placed a kiss on my collarbone. Warmth spread through my body. This wasn’t fair. He’d made mistakes, but it wasn’t the whole truth now that we were laying it all on the table.

“Charlie,” I said, wiping a wayward tear off his cheek. “You’ve been so good to me. You’ve reminded me of what I’ve been missing, and that’s been amazing… and painful. Because I can’t go back to my life like it once was. I can’t. If it weren’t for you, my life would be shattered. What if you hadn’t done all this… what if you didn’t love me? What if you weren’t here to catch me? I’d lose my job and fall off a cliff.” The thought of it made my insides clench. “I’d have to move in with Mom. I’d fall behind on my payments and?—”

“But I am here. And I will catch you.”

“I’m supposed to look after myself and Celia.”

“Why? Why can’t anyone help?”

I buried my face in my hands, turning away. “Because then I’m relying on them. On you. And it means I’ve failed.”

He lowered himself onto the mattress next to me, leaning his head on his arm so he faced me. “But… what if it was meant to be? What if this whole week and everything we went through was part of some divine plan? People need different things, Bess. It’s not all about money. I need you in ways I can’t even explain. I don’t want to imagine my life without you. If you go, you’ll rip my heart out.”

My heart squeezed in my chest, echoing his words, and my mind shifted, the light of understanding flooding the darker corners. Charlie needed me. Could I accept that and give myself up to this thing that vibrated in the air between us, this scary force that would once again inseparably tie me to another being, risking all the pain down the road? I searched for courage, letting that feeling travel like warm liquid spilled from my heart into every part of me.

“I have to take my chances with you,” I swallowed against the stickiness in my throat. “I have to take the risk.”

He held my face between his hands and kissed my cheekbones, then my nose, finally my mouth. “Yes. It’s the only way. Take the leap, Bess.”

I released a deep sigh. “Okay. But I don’t want you for your money, Charlie. I want you for you.”

It was true; I realized. Even if I had a million dollars, I didn’t want to be without Charlie.

“I know.” He squeezed my hand, smiled, and rolled onto his back.

We lay in bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling, breathing the same air. Getting used to the new reality. Or maybe he was giving me the time to do that, since he was already there.

“Do we still have time?” I finally asked, turning to face him. “Because I’ve never had sex in a treehouse before.”

“Me neither.” His gaze ignited with hunger, infused with joy, and he kissed me, long and slow.

As my body woke up to his touch, nerves waking with need, a nagging thought emerged.

“Do you have another condom? There’s only so much risk I can handle all at once.”

He emptied his pockets. A stick of gum, a five-dollar bill and two condoms. “This one’s a different brand.”

“Great.”

He helped my jeans off and pulled up my shirt. The cool air caressed my skin, making it pebble. His warm hand landed on my stomach, sliding down. “It’s a bit cold in here. Should we risk the heater?”

I nodded, and Charlie flicked it on. It felt like a hairdryer on my bare skin, relaxing me into the mattress.

For a moment, he teased me through my underwear, building anticipation, making my breath seize. I felt myself getting wet; the liquid seeping through the thin fabric, meeting his gentle tongue. “Just rip them off,” I grumbled.

He took his time, making me writhe under his light touch. How could he make me burn like this?

Finally, he pushed my legs against the mattress and slid the underwear all the way down. The warm breeze caught my lady parts, making me shiver. In an instant, Charlie’s mouth was on me, hot, slow and teasing. Feather-light. With his tongue, he drove every other thought out of my mind. I could only feel the fire, my breath coming in erratic bursts.

“Good girl,” he whispered. “Stay there. Don’t come yet.”

“Why… not?” I panted as the sheer, condensed pleasure built to a sensation I’d never felt before—like something I’d only ever experience as a whiff, airborne, had suddenly become condensed. Liquid. I wanted to give myself over to it. Over to him. I bucked my hips.

“Wait. Don’t rush it,” he whispered again. “I want this moment to last.”

But I couldn’t last. Not with the way he kept teasing me. My hips moved on their own, meeting with his tongue, until that liquid pleasure spilled over. My spine arched against the bed and my fingers grasped at the air. For a moment, nothing else existed. Only pleasure.

I lay still for a moment, waiting to return to Earth.

“I want you inside me, Charlie,” I finally rasped.

I reached for him, and he climbed on top of me, pulling on the condom and filling me in seconds. I watched his lips part and eyes glaze over. Charlie, rendered speechless as he drove into me, again and again, pushing me over the edge I was still hovering on.

I loved him. I loved him so much. All that he was and wasn’t. All his faults and mistakes and his good heart.

Afterwards, we held still, both catching our breaths, staring into each other’s eyes with a sense of wonder.

“From now on, I’ll tell you everything,” he said. “Good and bad. We’re in this together.”

I breathed in so deeply I must have exceeded my lung capacity. As I let the air out, words followed. “Oh, Charlie.”

And this time, I said it with love.