34. Raven

RAVEN

Coming to Silvercrest Academy was never what I wanted. At least, I don’t think I did. I guess I relented because I was trapped between a rock and a hard place, and there was a small glimmer of hope inside of me that an alternative future was on the horizon.

After this weekend, I hands down know it was the best decision ever made, even if it was forced upon me. The happiness I feel with the Bishops and Leila outweighs the negativity leading up to my arrival. Including the fact that I was unsuppressed against my will.

It almost feels like a distant dream now, a week later, and I’m sure I’m going to have more problems to face between my mother’s warning and Sebastian’s mere existence. But after the relaxing weekend and fun I had on Friday night, I don’t feel so caught up about it all.

Besides, as much as I might want to stay in bed today instead of getting my uniform on, it’s also Ari day and I can’t deny how excited I am. I’ve tried to explain to the guys what it feels like, but it’s impossible. It’s not like I can feel every inch of him in my body, but he’s there, a part of me, and me a part of him. Like he’s my family. It sounds insane, but I’m desperate to see him. Three days is definitely too long. Hopefully, the professors will offer me some more insight when I see him later because I surely can’t be expected to go this long every time.

I’ve got so many questions ready on the tip of my tongue that I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the rest of the day first.

“Let’s go, Shadow,” Brax hollers, knocking on my bedroom door. I slip into my school shoes and grab my bag, tossing it over my shoulder as I reach for my sheathed sword and greet him in the lounge. “You have a little something…” he lifts his hand to his cheek, hinting for me to do the same, but shakes his head at me when I do, leaning toward me to help instead.

I spot the grin spreading across his face as he inches closer a second too late, leaving me no time to react as he presses his lips to my cheek. “There, I got it.”

“Oh, you’re full of slick moves this morning, huh?” I fail to bite back the smile teasing my lips as he throws his arm around my shoulders and leads me to the door.

“You love it.”

I don’t know who this calm guy is standing in Brax’s shoes, but he’s just as hot as the broody asshole that still pops up too.

“I love to irritate you,” I grumble, stomping my foot down on his in hopes of inflicting a little pain, but he doesn’t even grimace. He just gives me a pointed stare as he leads me outside to where the others are waiting.

“Are you excited about seeing your griffin today?” Leila asks as I squeeze between Zane, Eldon, and Creed to walk beside her.

“I honestly can’t wait,” I admit as we head to the academy building. It feels weird seeing us all with our sheathed swords, every week adding something new into the mix, and, as daunting as it might be sometimes, it’s also exhilarating.

I’m practically bouncing all the way to Professor Figgins’s class this morning, taking everything in my stride. I don’t even react to Genie’s sneer as she boasts about being with my brother in the girls’ locker room. I’m too focused to deal with her shit.

Heading out to the field with Leila and the Bishops, our swords in hand, I’m eager to learn.

“Miss Hendrix, may I speak to you before we begin please?” Figgins asks, waving me closer. She walks me a step or two away from everyone, offering a little more privacy as she smiles at me. “With regards to this afternoon, I’ve arranged for you to meet us out here. I’ve never witnessed anyone have a connection with a griffin before so I’m not sure what it’s going to look like, but you just need to be patient and open to what it’s offering.”

“He,” I correct, wincing a little in embarrassment at the interruption, but she smiles.

“He, sorry. But if you’ll meet us out here after your last class, that would be perfect. After we’re done here I’m going to escort him out here so he can get a feel for where you are, but I’m assuming you’re more than ready to meet him.”

Tilting my head at her, I smile. “Do you have a familiar too?”

“I do. It’s a rare and sensational feeling, but I can’t imagine going so long without seeing her. She means too much to me.” I eagerly nod in agreement. That’s exactly how I feel. “I thought so. You might be best coming alone though, or having your friends hang back so you can get acquainted with him first.”

“Thank you.”

I rejoin the group, even more ready for the end of the day to roll around.

“Okay, we’re going to start by learning about our connection with the sword before learning the most basic, yet most important, practices when wielding a weapon,” Figgins states, reaching for her own blade as she stands front and center of the class.

“What did she want to talk about?” Eldon asks, quirking a brow at me.

“Ari. She was keeping me in the loop of what’s going on today,” I answer. That seems to satisfy his curiosity and we focus on the class.

“As I’m sure you’re all aware, when we selected the swords, it took a drop of our blood as payment. Did anyone not bleed?” I glance around to see if anyone makes themselves known, but it seems like we all got the sharp bite of momentary pain. “Excellent. That means your connection with the weapon is superior. The sword in your hand will literally be yours until the day you die.”

“What benefit does that have for us?” Creed asks, running his thumb over the handle of his sword, and I clench my thighs, thinking of those same hands soothing me.

“Excellent question, Mr. Wylder. If you die with this sword in battle, it will disappear when you take your last breath. We’re going to learn the language etched into the blade. You each have something different to wrap your tongue around, but saying those words will summon the sword when needed. Next week, I plan for you to come to class without your weapon so you can summon it when asked.” I nod along, impressed at the bond you can have with such a seemingly-simple object. “Now, everyone unsheathe your swords.”

The zing of metal escaping its confines echoes through the air, sending a shiver down my spine as the blade shimmers in the sun. Intrigued by the passage she mentioned, I bring it closer to my face to find elongated, cursive letters etched into the sword’s blade.

I read each letter but I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to be saying. It’s undeniably heavy in my hands, a definite weapon when needed, but the thought of summoning it without access to my magic has me excited.

“Hold the sword downward, like this, a firm grip on the handle, without letting the blade touch the ground,” she orders, and everyone takes a second to get it in place. “Now, let a hint of your magic free, allow it to wrap around the sword, let it touch and learn and the words will come to you. Be patient though, it can take a few tries for some.”

My stomach instantly sinks. I can’t fucking do that. That shatters my hopes. I can’t just say that though. I’m going to have to act like I have my shit together like everyone else.

I don’t look up, worried I’ll lock eyes with one of the Bishops and find pity flickering in their gaze. I can’t face that, not when I’m hyped up for today.

Holding the sword as she instructed, I close my eyes and focus on the sword. Maybe if I tried… maybe with the suppression being lifted there might be something. Exhaling, I try to clear my mind, channeling all of my thoughts on the sword, but… it feels like just that—a sword in my hands.

Frustrated, I glare at the weapon in my grasp, hearing others around me murmur words that almost seem like a different language. I hear Brax murmur beside me, the handle on his sword glowing at his words, and my eyes widen in surprise.

“Struggling, Raven?” Figgins asks, walking among the group, and I nod. “You’re probably too worked up over your familiar. It has a way of getting under your skin like that. But I’m sure if you keep practicing through the week, you’ll get there.” I take a deep breath, nodding in understanding as she gives me a reprieve and a viable excuse.

I spend the remainder of the lesson slightly pissed that pretty much everyone I can see has the hang of it. It takes a lot longer than I assume she predicted because there’s no time to learn the basics, which means I’ve spent longer than I care to admit failing at connecting with my sword.

Let’s hope Ari isn’t as difficult later.

The usual slump to my shoulders is back as we make our way to the locker room. The Bishops stay close while still giving me the space I need to sulk for a minute, but the tightness of Brax’s jaw tells me I won’t get to carry on with this mood for much longer if he has a say in the matter.

The thought calms me a little and I appreciate how well they seem to be able to read me, knowing what I do and don’t need at any given time.

“Are you doing okay?” Leila asks as we get dressed.

“Yeah, I just get frustrated when I can’t connect with my magic so easily,” I admit, omitting the truth but not barefaced lying.

“I know what you mean. Honestly, before the Gauntlet, my father pulled me aside to train because I really do struggle sometimes. Besides, my father always says just because you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re failing, and that always gives my heart the jolt it needs.”

Her words coil inside of me, making my shoulders fall back and my chest relax. She’s right, struggling isn’t failing, and I need to remember that. Taking another deep breath, I finish getting changed and head out.

The Bishops are waiting for me like usual but the look on Zane’s face has me a little concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Did you guys hear the news?”

“What news? We were gone for like five minutes,” I grumble, glancing at Eldon, Brax, and Creed too.

“They’ve cleared a spot for another outpost visit.”

“Wait, so soon after we’ve had an attack?” I clarify and he nods. “At the same one?”

“No, we’re heading to Shadowmoor.”

My heart sinks. “I didn’t even know there was one.”

“It’s off the shore and nowhere near the actual place, really. Are you going to be okay?” Zane asks, reaching out for my arm. I nod, despite the worry gnawing at me. “Okay, well, Brax is going to drop our swords off at the house and we’ll meet him at the main entrance.”

Brax takes my sword from my hand and I try to force a smile to my lips, but I know it falls flat. I hate that I’m such a rollercoaster of emotions today. As soon as I think I’m over something, I have another obstacle to face. It’s exhausting.

Eldon slips his arm around my shoulders as Brax rushes off, likely sneaking away to create a portal, and we head through the corridors to the main entrance where Professor Fitch is waiting with a few other professors that I haven’t had lessons from yet.

His gaze settles on Leila’s for a moment but he doesn’t say anything of concern and that makes me feel better. If he’s happy for his daughter to be going then everything will be fine. Pleased to have pulled myself back off another ledge, I lean more into Eldon’s hold as we stand together, waiting for the next order.

Brax appears at my left, just in time for Fitch to address us all. “I’m sure you’re all familiar now with the gateways. If you can gather in the same groups you were in last time, we’ll get this trip underway.”

Fuck. I forgot about that part. Grimacing, I go to find the right group I assigned myself to, but before I can even take a full step, Eldon is claiming my mouth with his. He leaves me breathless and disoriented in the best way possible before nudging me forward.

“We’re not letting you out of our sight with these gateways around, even if Sebastian isn’t present,” he grumbles, and a fleeting flicker of panic washes over me. Even though he said Sebastian isn’t here, I still have to glance around to be sure.

I find the right line, and Finn is thankfully further in front this time. When I’m ready to go through, Eldon places his hand on my shoulder. “Let Zane go through first.” He points to the gateway to my left where Zane waits. He offers me a wink before disappearing. A few seconds pass, and Eldon kisses my temple. “Your turn, Little Bird. I’ll see you in a minute.”

Shaking the nervousness from my limbs, I step through the iridescent center of the gateway, my shoes hitting the ground instantly on the other side. Myriad memories flood my thoughts as the constant darkness that casts over the sky comes into view.

There are two towers, one to the far left, the other to the right, and a border that wraps around the exterior acting as an extra barrier from whatever lurks on the other side. There are no cute turrets and walkways like there was on the last outpost trip. There’s not even any grass beneath our feet. Just dried out soil.

We may not be in Shadowmoor, but we’re close enough. It’s like the sun’s been blocked out forever. I wrap my arms around myself, the chill in the air a bitter reminder of the contrast between here and Silvercrest.

“Are you okay?” Zane asks, and I nod, smiling at him as I join my group.

“Apparently, it’s always this dark,” a guy in front of me murmurs to his friend, and it hurts my chest knowing the people of Shadowmoor know no different. I hate that I feel guilty that I was offered a way out, an alternative life. Even the fools I hated there deserve more. They’re simply a product of their surroundings. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Students, gather round as quickly as possible and we can begin the tours,” Professor Meade states, wrapping her thick coat around her body.

“What is there to even see? It's all black, grim, and filthy. Excellent, we’ve seen it. Let’s leave,” the same guy grunts, sparking anger in my veins as I bite back my remark. He’s also a fucking idiot; a product of his elite surroundings who wouldn’t survive a day in Shadowmoor, with or without his powers.

Professor Meade rattles off which group is going where and I fall into step, ready to give Shadowmoor the respect it deserves and learn everything there is to know. By the time we’re halfway around the outpost, it’s embarrassingly clear that there’s nothing to be proud of here apart from the fact that it’s still standing and doing its job.

Every room holds gallons of blood staining the walls, the names of the people it belonged to unknown, as all remains are cast out at sea. It doesn’t make sense, it’s like they send people to this outpost to die. It’s a suicide mission, but why?

We move from one dreary room to another in the left tower, careful not to touch anything as the wind whistles through the broken roof. No one speaks apart from the professor guiding us, which only adds to the eeriness. “That’s everything from the west tower. If we make our way back down, we will hopefully get a moment to speak to the people on guard before we travel over to the east tower.”

I don’t see what the point is. It’s beyond depressing and I hate that the guy with his shitty comment was correct. Once we’ve seen one room, we’ve seen them all. I take the spiral staircase two steps at a time, ready to get the hell out, and I find Zane and his group at the door when I get to the bottom.

He smiles when our gazes lock and I rush toward him with added urgency, hoping to suck up some of his warm energy before I have to endure any more. I’m two steps away from him when a boom ricochets off the walls around me, the ground rumbling beneath my feet, and panic starts to kick in.

“What’s going on?” I yell to anyone who will listen, but everyone is as clueless as me.

“Stay there, Raven,” Zane orders, rushing back outside, but there’s no fucking way in hell I’m just going to stand here.

“What’s happening?” Finn hollers, but I don’t answer, chasing after Zane.

Horror washes over me as I step out under the dark sky to see a huge ball of flames hurtling toward us. I’m frozen to the spot as it soars over my head before it crashes into the top of the tower and everyone inside cries out with fear.

“We’re under attack,” someone screams at the top of their lungs as another burning orange light shoots through the sky.

The ground continues to rumble beneath my feet as I call out to Zane. He spins to face me with panic shining in his eyes as he screams my name. I follow his gaze and watch in slow motion as another fireball smashes into the tower, knocking slate and brick in every direction as an explosion sounds out.

Then everything goes black.