22. Raven

RAVEN

I’m swamped with pain, but I refuse to leave, insisting on watching the final first years face the dread and terror of the pit. Zane gently rubs small, comforting circles at the base of my spine, Creed’s hand doing the same on my knee as I focus all my attention on not throwing up.

I feel clammy and, even after the final first year survives the Gauntlet, I can’t bring myself to rise to my feet and clap along with everyone. Brax remains seated in front of me but he doesn’t turn around. He hasn’t glanced at me once or responded to my tap on his shoulder.

Of course I owe my thanks to the most complex person I have ever had to deal with. I’m sure, deep down, he’s loving that he can hang this over me.

I wince with pain again, unable to hear the professor who draws the entire mess to a close, and everyone starts to filter out. I decide it’s better to stay seated until everyone else leaves. Leila and the Bishops don’t try to encourage me to my feet or coax me back to the changing rooms, which is a telling sign that I’m not hiding my pain and discomfort as well as I had hoped.

Eldon braces his hand on my shoulder when the masses have almost gone. “I’m going to go and grab someone real quick. Meet you back at the locker room, okay? Take your time.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, disappearing through the exit as Zane offers me his hand. Taking a deep breath, I lace my fingers with his and take his assistance as I manage to stand. My weak arm is tucked in tight against my body and he instinctively stands protectively at that side.

Creed leads the way to the end of the row, waiting on the stairs as I take slow, measured steps. Everything hurts so fucking much, I just want to pass out, but that’s not an option for me right now when I have to act unfazed.

My legs get shaky as I ascend the steps, and I must be walking too slowly because Brax eventually stomps past me, taking the remaining stairs four at a time to leave. Guilt melds with annoyance in my gut, but I push it to the back of my mind as I reach the exit.

Stepping outside into the mid-afternoon sun, I exhale softly at the feel of the gentle breeze floating around us. “Do you want to link me?” Leila asks, coming to my left side. I’m about to take her up on her offer when my response is interrupted.

“Leila, come,” Professor Fitch murmurs, waiting impatiently to the left of the open entryway.

Disappointment flashes in Leila’s eyes as she turns to look at me. I can sense her conflict so I quickly wave her off.

“You’re good. I’ll see you later.”

“Hell yeah, you will. I can’t wait to see your gown,” she replies before bouncing off with her father.

“My gown?” I question, looking at Zane, and he shakes his head at me.

“Let’s worry about one thing at a time, shall we?”

That sounds like a plan.

I’m sandwiched between Creed and Zane as we head toward the locker rooms. When we get close, Creed tucks his arm around my waist and guides me toward the guys’ room instead of the girls’.

“What are you doing?” I ask, but don’t stop walking as they lead me inside.

“Cover your tiny penises, fuckers, there’s a lady present,” Zane hollers, and I chuckle at his choice of words.

I hear a few guys call bullshit but I’m not in any shape to confirm or deny it, especially when Creed lifts his free hand to try and shield my eyes.

Fools.

They walk me through to the bathroom and showers at the back of the room where we find Brax and Eldon waiting.

“What’s going on?” I ask, hopeful I’ll get more of an answer this time. Eldon nods for me to step into the large, curtained shower area. Creed keeps his hold on my waist as I try to peer behind the curtain and find Finn standing in his uniform with a frown on his face.

The second he sees me, his eyes light up. I’m definitely missing something here.

“Okay, last time I’m asking. What is going on?” The bite is evident in my tone this time and even Finn flicks his gaze between me and Eldon. Brax grunts, moving to stand between us, his finger poised and aimed toward me.

“Heal her.” The order comes from Eldon and it’s aimed at Finn.

Finn runs his fingers over his lips as he assesses me, a smile tracing his lips before he glances back at Eldon. “What’s in it for me?”

“The fact that I don’t snap every bone in your body for even looking in her direction is gift enough,” he grunts in response, and Finn rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but only because she’s cute,” he murmurs, stepping toward me. Creed intercepts him before he gets too close.

“She’s not fucking cute to you. Do you understand? Heal her before I scramble your damn brain.”

Finn also rolls his eyes at Creed, their threats rolling off his back without concern. “Are you going to let me get close enough to heal her or not?”

A moment passes, followed by another, before Creed relents and steps back. He still crowds my space, though, as Finn moves closer. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” I admit, forcing a smile.

“Let me take care of you,” he breathes, making more than one Bishop growl in response, but I don’t turn to confirm exactly who it comes from as Finn reaches out his hand.

I brace for impact against my shoulder, but he hovers just above my skin, sending a warm tingle from his palm to my wound. I don’t know what to expect, but the temperature rises to an almost unbearable level before he drops the connection.

“And your head.” He lifts his hand to my face, his fingertips at my temple as he cups my cheek, and I feel the heat again. His eyes are trying to search mine, but I can sense he’s either using me to play with the Bishops or trying to have a moment with me. I don’t fucking know. I’m too tired to care and I opt to stare at the top button of his shirt instead.

“You’ve got to be done by now,” Zane states, pushing at Finn’s shoulder and knocking his hand from my face. “Fuck off.”

“Don’t I get a thanks?”

I finally lift my gaze to his, rolling my shoulders back as relief floods my limbs. The pain has subsided almost completely. “Thank you.”

“Not from you, but I’ll take it,” he says with a wink before breezing past Zane without a backward glance.

Eldon seems to check that the coast is clear before turning back to me. “How do you feel now?”

I take a second to feel every bone, muscle, and limb before answering. “So much better, thank you.” He may not have been the one to actually heal me, but I get the sense that this is what he rushed off to do and I appreciate it.

“Good. Let’s grab our things and head back. We’ve got tonight to prepare for.” His nose scrunches in distaste and I finally remember the gala we’re supposed to attend.

Fuck my life. Do they not think I’ve been through enough today? Making me be social on top of a near-death experience is too much, but I already know I don’t have a say in the matter.

“Okay, I’ll get my things in a minute. Can I speak with Brax for a second first?” I ask, hoping he can’t avoid me if I ask him in front of the others, but he’s already shaking his head.

“No.”

There’s no explanation, no reasoning, nothing. Just two letters forming the most frustrating word I could have asked for. My mistake was clearly letting him have a choice in the matter, but before I can try and rectify that, he’s storming past the curtain and out of the showers.

Dammit.

“What am I missing here?” Eldon asks, and I shake my head in response. I don’t want to talk about it in such a public place. I don’t know if either of us could get into trouble or not.

“It’s nothing. I’ll speak to him later. Let me go change and I’ll meet you outside.” My pain might be gone but the exhaustion is still real, so I don’t wait for any of them to approve.

Thankfully, the guys’ locker room is empty when I step out and the girls’ is the exact same when I enter. I'm relieved when I find my belongings exactly where I left them. I run on autopilot as I switch out my clothes for my uniform, forgoing the tie before I make my way back outside.

I find Creed waiting for me and, when I lock eyes with him, I can already tell I’m not going to like what he’s about to say. For someone who remains so quiet and observant, I can read his gaze today; for the first time.

“Are you ready to go shopping?”

My eyebrows pinch. “No.”

“I didn’t think so, but I’m also guessing you need a dress for tonight.”

Shit.

He’s right.

“Did you draw the short straw to come with me?”

“If I get to watch you change from one dress to another, I wouldn’t call that the short straw. Would you?”

* * *

I feel better about being in the shopping district with a sugary coffee in one hand and a pastry in the other. I’m bone-numbingly tired, but the coffee will help with that, for now. When I set out my demands for heading over here, Creed accepted without batting an eye. Not that it’s his fault we’re here; it’s mine. Mine for surviving, mine for not being prepared for doing said surviving. He’s here, helping me despite my crankiness, and I will say thank you eventually.

“Are you ready?” Creed asks, slowing outside Silhouette’s. Various floor-length ballgowns frame the delicately decorated window fronts and I gulp. I’ve never worn a long, elegant dress before.

“As I’ll ever be,” I murmur, stuffing the final bite of pastry into my mouth before we enter.

Creed holds the door for me and a powdery floral scent immediately hits my senses.

“Good afternoon. My name is Louisa. I’m assuming you’re here to prepare for tonight’s event?” I turn to find a brunette with a broad smile and bright green eyes walking toward us.

“We are. We’ll browse the racks if you wouldn’t mind setting up a dressing room for us.” She flutters her eyelashes at Creed’s request, nodding eagerly.

“Sounds perfect. Congratulations on your success this week. I’m sure you’re proud to be attending tonight,” she says before giving us some space. If only she knew how I would rather claw my eyeballs out than deal with tonight. I bet that would make me sound ungrateful, despite the fact that I had to risk my life to be in attendance.

“Thank you,” I breathe as soon as it’s just myself and Creed in the room.

He turns to face me with his eyebrows raised. “What for?”

“For helping with…all this,” I state, waving my hand around at the room's grandeur.

“Don’t worry about it.” His words from earlier replay in my mind as he places his hand on the small of my back and guides me to the first rack of dresses.

If I get to watch you change…

Fuck.

I grip my coffee cup tight with one hand and run my fingers over the material of the dresses with the other. There’s an overwhelming array of choices and I have no idea where to begin.

“So, what is tonight supposed to be about?” I ask, trying to distract myself from the overwhelming task I now face.

“I’m not entirely sure, It’s the first one of the school year, but I believe it will be all about connecting families, giving our parents a chance to see us alive, and letting The Monarchy see what talent is coming through the ranks.”

“I don’t like the sound of any of that,” I admit, pausing at a silky option for a moment before continuing down the line.

“Me either, but we’re the byproducts of our surroundings, Raven. Until we’re stronger, they say jump and we ask how high. It’s all about biding our time and surviving the mess they throw at us.”

I hate that even more.

“Have you found anything you like?” Louisa asks, appearing out of nowhere.

“Uhm…”

“She’ll try these, please.” Creed walks back down the line and points out six options that I lingered on when passing. “Are you happy with them?” His gaze turns to me and I smile, nodding in agreement before we’re waltzed toward the back of the store.

Curtains section off the space into five different areas and Louisa leads us into the first one on the left. The pale pink drapes offer a secluded area with ample space to try the dresses on in private. The options Creed selected are hanging on a rail to the right, the far wall is lined with floor-length mirrors, and there’s an oversized chair to the left against the far wall.

“I can see there are a few options here that will require lacing up. It’s always better to have an assistant do this instead of magic. I will just go and see who we have available.”

“That won’t be necessary, but thank you.” Creed’s words wash over me like a heavy dose of ecstasy. It will just be the two of us in here while I try each dress on. How am I supposed to survive that? Louisa’s gaze momentarily skims between us as if she’s trying to find a reason to decline, but before she can, Creed continues, “We’ll call you back when she’s decided on one.”

He moves toward the curtain behind us and she follows him. “Of course,” she says with a nod, but Creed is already closing the drapes, sealing us off from the rest of the world.

“Where do you want to start?” Creed asks, taking the coffee cup from my hand before getting comfortable in the oversized chair.

I nibble on my bottom lip nervously. He’s serious about watching me and it’s turning me on to no end. Needing a moment to think before he offers to help with the lace, I opt for the most effortless dress first.

Shaking off my blazer, I drape it over the small stool by the clothes and glance back at him. “You’re just going to sit and watch?”

“Until you need my help, yeah.”

My heart rate kicks up a notch, a slight tremble in my fingers as I try to shake off my nervousness under his intense gaze.

Removing the rest of my uniform, I’m in just my black bra and panties when I reach for the black dress. The chiffon material clings to me like a second skin as I turn in front of the mirror. It’s cute, but the draped sleeves aren’t really my style.

I catch a glimpse of Creed in the mirror. He doesn’t say a word. His eyes are transfixed on me as I undo the zipper and move on to the forest-green option. I don’t get as far as stepping into it, though, because when I hold it up against me, the green clashes with my pink hair.

The yellow one is too puffy, the white one too…ceremonial, which leaves me with the pink and lilac dresses, both of which need to be laced up. I’m sure there’s a hot flush all over my skin from being acutely aware of Creed’s gaze, but I try my best to act unfazed. Reaching for the pink one, I turn to ask for his help, only to find him standing in front of me.

“Come,” he mutters, standing in the center of the white rug. He takes the dress from my hands and pools it on the floor before holding his hand out for me to take.

Warmth ripples through my fingertips and up my arm from the contact as he helps me step into the bundled material. His calloused fingers skim over my heated skin, hitching my breath as our eyes latch onto one another in the mirror.

I slip my arms into the dainty sleeves before he laces up the corset. Every pull hits me straight in the core, my breaths coming in short, sharp bursts as I watch him fixate on every last detail. Once he’s done, his hands fall to my waist, squeezing slightly as he finds me in the mirror again.

Without a word, he pulls the hair tie from my bun, letting the messy pink curls fall around my shoulders. He sweeps the locks back off my shoulder, exposing my collarbone and neck, and his eyes simmer with fire.

“You look stunning.”

“I think I like this one,” I manage, running my hand over the material. A fuller, lacier skirt compliments the bodice top and the pale, dusty pink makes my hair stand out even more.

“Do you want to try the last one or not?” His hands are still on my hips. The thought of moving anywhere right now seems impossible.

“No, this is the one.”

Creed nods but doesn’t say a word as he slowly unties the corset, one link at a time, until the material slips over my skin and pools at my feet. He’s standing so close, his body heat radiates against my back. His hands return to my hips, scalding my bare skin with his searing touch as he continues to watch me in the mirror.

I already feel like I can’t breathe, today has been a whirlwind of emotions, but I still know how desperately I hated that he didn’t kiss me before he entered the pit. It’s selfish of me, I know, but I’m drawn to the Bishops like a moth to a flame. There’s no denying it, no escaping it, and among all of the madness I now face, it’s the only thing that makes sense.

As if sensing my thoughts, he bends slightly to press a kiss to my shoulder blade while his eyes remain locked on mine through the mirror. I gasp, my back instantly arching, and he grins as he steps back.

Motherfucker.

“You’re a tease,” I pout, breathless, and he shrugs.

“Maybe.”

All I can do is gape at him, my body tense with need. “Eldon was right. You are sadistic.”

He cocks a brow at me.

“Do you actually want the first time I touch you to be in a dressing area at a store where anyone could walk in?”

I huff in frustration, planting my hands on my hips and giving him a pointed look. “It would definitely be memorable.”

The distance he had placed between us quickly vanishes and he stands before me again, hand under my chin as he tips my head back.

“Oh, Raven. When I get my hands on you, you’re never going to forget.”