Chapter 29

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Bumbling through…

Being myself is hard when I don't know who myself is. It hasn't even been one day with Pollux's words from last night's dream in my head, yet I'm more exhausted than usual on a day off. He's stripped me of the comfort I found in the things I use to cope, because—suddenly—those things are wrong.

It makes me angry.

As angry as the furious, foot-long, fat bee I am cradling as I march up his sidewalk to his stupid haunted house.

The door slams open before I get there, and I stop in place as the sound rattles the foundation of this whole place.

Um. Crap.

Maybe I should have called?

"Kassandra," he states, takes two steps to me, and cups my chin in his palm.

"Uh. Hi."

"You smell like Castor."

My eye twitches. Double crap. I completely forgot Castor was in my bathroom this morning.

At the very least, I flushed his phantom dust residue down the toilet?

"Pardon me," I say. "You could smell Castor on me from all the way inside your house?"

He growls, "I am an evolved beast, Kassandra. Why have you met with Castor? Why has he touched your throat?"

"I don't know. He poofed himself into my bathroom this morning and asked me to lend him my powers. I told him to ask again once I knew what powers I even have, because then I might help him depending on the situation." I shove the bee in his face. "You're supposed to ask me why I'm holding an angry bee."

Taken aback, Pollux stares between the bee and me, opens his mouth, closes it. He composes himself enough to mutter, "I don't know how the angry bee is relevant given the disturbing information you just provided. Castor should not be in contact with you, much less asking to use your magic."

"Well, he is, and I saw him yesterday, too."

"What?" Pollux roars. "Why didn't you tell me last night?"

"We were…preoccupied last night." I cough. "Besides, Alana and Willow were very calm about the entire thing. Didn't seem like necessary information to provide you with given how aggressively Zylus reacted."

Pollux's grip on my chin solidifies. "Alana and Willow are extremely interesting creatures. Do not emulate them or trust their behavior in the presence of a morally gray individual."

Right.

Them's villain girlies.

Castor told me.

I shove my angry bee into Pollux's chest. "If you don't ask about this bee, I'm going to walk into the woods by Willow's house and start calling Castor's name."

"Don't you dare."

I turn on my heel.

He spins me right back around fast enough to make me dizzy. Then he removes the ground out from under me as he scoops me up into his arms and marches us inside.

Alexios whistles as Pollux passes him at the doorway, so Pollux snarls before pounding up the stairs.

My head is still spinning by the time he sets me down in a perfect, lovely room with plush carpet, a large bed adorned in lace, and floor-to-ceiling skies painted on half the walls… The scenes surrounding me look so vaguely familiar they gives me pause. I swear I saw the deep red shades of the clouds on one wall in my dream just last night.

For the most part, the room is clean and vacant in a way that suggests it's not been lived in yet.

In a way that suggests it's being prepared for someone.

The second I find a tiny bee hidden among the clouds on one wall heat floods my body. I crush my angry crocheted bee in my arms and face Pollux. "Is this…"

"Your prison if you are determined to give me a heart attack."

McScuse me?

He winces in response to however my face replies to that line, then he crosses his arms. "I care about you. Castor is dangerous. I don't know what he's planning or why in the world he decided to show up in your bathroom. If he got a hold of your powers…even just a drop…I don't want to think about what he'd do with them. You are smart, but you are not yet familiar with this world. The urge to bubble wrap you and keep you in this space is quite demanding."

"I appreciate the clarification of your emotions."

He nods once.

"But we can agree that imprisoning the person who has done nothing wrong is the incorrect response, can't we?" I arch a brow. "If you so much as dare to consider it, you better include a library in the deal."

Pollux lights up. "I have a library. I can include a library. Is that all it takes? Consider it done. Shall I assist you in moving after school tomorrow?"

It seems I've underestimated exactly what I'm dealing with here. "It's a joke. I'm making a reference to Beauty and the Beast. The Disney movie. Specifically."

He searches my eyes, genuinely intent, then he says, "Which part was the reference?"

I sigh. "Pollux. Ask me about my angry bee before I locate the nearest cliff and thrust myself off it."

"Is that…another reference."

"Pollux."

"Sorry. The bee. What am I supposed to ask about the bee, exactly?"

"Why I have it."

"Is it not in character for you? You like bees."

My patience wears thin. "And I suppose grown adults in Faerie just carry stuffed animals around in public?"

Pollux's silence hits me.

"Are you serious? That's normal adult behavior in Faerie?"

"I…fail entirely to see why it's inappropriate for someone to have a comfort item with them regardless of their age. Comfort seems most necessary outside of comfort zones, which would usually be in public."

I want to go to Faerie. I want to see what it's like. I want to know what a world kind enough to level the field between adult and child looks like.

It reminds me of how Andromeda reacted when I had the talk about swearing with her.

What's wrong is wrong, and what's harmless…is harmless. If it's good for a child, it's good for an adult. It seems so much simpler than the unspoken rules humans have that tangle up maturity in superficial appearances of "adulthood."

I extend the bee before my mind drifts too far out of my reality and into worlds unseen. "I made this for you."

Pollux's eyes go wide. "For me?"

"Yes. To express my inside emotions when I fake my smiles."

His throat bobs as he covers his mouth. "When you fake your smiles…inside you're an angry bee?"

"Correct."

His eyes close. "Forgive me. That is too adorable for words, and it feels like my brain is shutting down."

I am going to stab him. And, yet, this is an appropriate reaction. Finally. Took a minute to get there, but I am pleased with the results.

Pollux's eyes open. "You really made him for me?" He reaches toward the soft butter yellow face of the angry bee, then closes his fingers. "Is it a boy?"

"It's probably a girl. Most of a hive is female. The males are useless beyond mating, so they get kicked out during the months when food is scarce."

"Poor little bees…" he murmurs as he gently takes the plushie from my hands. The smile that slowly overwhelms him comes with a heat that matches the sunset shades on the wall I'm certain he painted to match my dream last night.

My heart skips a beat as he wraps the bee up in a hug and shifts his gaze to me.

"I adore you. I'd thank you, but I've yet to teach you how to take my soul, and it would be such a waste to say those words before you know how to use them."

Turning tomato red, I blurt, "Do you have a background?"

"What?"

"Like. A human existence that could be checked? And an email address. So I can send you a link to have your human existence checked?"

His fingers trace one round, fluffy wing on the bee while a brow arches. "Meda has the skills with which to hack into a system and alter records however she wants. I'm pretty sure that's how she sent you her school record. If there is something you need me to have a background for, I'm certain she is not unwilling to help."

I close my eyes for a moment, take a breath, and let it out. "Are you willing to watch a thirty minute informational video?"

"Absolutely. What sort of information does the video discuss and would you like me to take notes?"

"Um."

"I can color-code them."

I bite my cheek and take an emotional step back before I fall deeper into attraction. Stupid soulmate bond. Stupid pretty black-and-red monster eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid… "If notes help you on the test, you are welcome to take them. I do not need to check your work."

Pollux's expression turns confused. "Test?"

"I should head home before my parents worry." I march past him, toward the exit.

"Kassandra. Why do I need to take a—"

"Bye!" I slam the door closed behind me and ignore Alexios when he snickers from the shadows nearby.

?

Pollux had been invited to chaperone twelve children in ice skates. With Kassandra.

He'd never faced nerves quite like the ones he was experiencing now. Needless to say, he was very glad he had a little bee friend that smelled like his mate to help him through what was swiftly becoming a harrowing concept.

Crushing the bee, he took a long drag of water—not alcohol—then a breath, and plunged onward through the child safety quiz.

It kept painting scenarios that chilled him to the bone.

And then it kept asking him questions that were harder than he'd anticipated when he'd seen the title. He had assumed common sense would make a test like this one easy. He was wrong.

It wasn't just the humanity that made each question difficult. It was the detail.

Bad humans could be bad in very subtle ways.

He was no stranger to the horrors of humankind, but, before now, he was not entirely aware there was a list of precise mistakes that could appear this harmless to onlookers. The art of evil came sketched in flawless outline before it was filled with furious brushstrokes.

His mind spun as he made it through the questions and continued to come to the horrible realization that Andromeda's experience could be plunked right into the case studies.

Child comes to school every day without a lunch in the same clothes, swears, and appears to act too mature for her age.

Please check the boxes of the possible forms of abuse this child might be experiencing.

It's all of them.

Just…all of them.

Pollux was going to be sick.

This explained a bit too much about why Kassandra had treated him with such thinly-veiled aggression when they first met. She had quantifiable lists of his errors, which suggested he was abusing his daughter in every way.

But, also, despite her knowing that he was notoriously unfamiliar with what abusing a human child even remotely looked like, she had invited him to help monitor eleven of them. While they wore blades on their feet. In public.

Someone was going to get injured, and while he and Kassandra were preoccupied with managing the wounds, the rest would be kidnapped.

Why did any humans ever go outside?

It was worse than wandering through dark parts of Faerie with no natural defenses.

At least in Faerie, most anyone could growl at the redcaps to make them back off.

Pollux was uncertain whether or not that would work on humans.

Well, assuming it was a human-to-human interaction. Likely it would work if he growled at a human. Outside the range of Kassandra's influence. Which he would not be in during this trip lest he risk terrifying numerous children.

This was a bad idea, and she had to know it was a bad idea.

Did she…did she just want to spend time with him?

Finishing the terrible test with a perfect score, Pollux opened Kassandra's email again, pulled up the directions to the ice skating rink she had sent, and found the website.

Several minutes later, he was stepping into Faerie, dodging the other inhabitants—who were kind enough to wave and smile at him while they cowered—and marching his way to Cael's office.

It was late.

But of course the workaholic couple was inside beyond the secret bookshelf door that only opened when the right book was tilted out of place. The "right book" changed frequently, but Cael never forgot to send Pollux a letter with each update.

Plucking the right tome, Pollux eased the door open to find Alana sprawled on the floor, stomach down—like a starfish—and dark wings flittering gently from her back. She was asleep, dreaming. The sensation of the dream plane called to him, teasing pictures of scandal in anime art styles, but he skirted adamantly away from tainting her fantasies as he locked eyes with Cael.

Seated at his large desk, the moth prince angled his chin toward Pollux's plushie. "First kittens and now…bumblebees? I understand finding one's mate is liable to change someone, but this is unexpected."

Pollux paid the comment zero heed. "I need a thousand dollars and a phone call."

Cael's eyes sparkled. He thread his fingers together above the pages covering the dark wood before him. "Do share the details of your mischief if you've come all this way to petition it outside court hearing hours."

"I want to rent an ice skating rink for Meda's class next Sunday. It's a field trip. I've been asked to chaperone. I'd make the call myself, but you're more well-spoken than I am, and I don't want to."

The moth prince hid a laugh in a cough.

Pollux scowled. "What?"

"Why is renting the entire rink necessary for a field trip?"

"I've seen the deprivation of humanity at horrific levels, but I've just been made aware that the tiniest things—the things I might miss—may be indications of ill intent as well. Also, I can't get the image of a child falling on the ice and many of the other humans with blades strapped to them being unable to stop themselves before—"

"Okay." Cael lifted a hand. "I understand. You're overprotective. A thousand dollars and a phone call to book the rink is no problem if that's all it takes to calm your frazzled nerves."

"You believe I'm overreacting?"

"I believe your mate and those children will be thrilled to have an entire rink to themselves. How you got them to that end matters little." Cael smiled, brilliantly. "But, yes, you are overreacting so extensively it's adorable. It's rare I get to see you ruffled."

"Kassandra has sparked access to many emotions I'm unfamiliar with at such a depth I can hardly identify them. She cares about those kids. A lot. I'm afraid of making a mistake when she's put me in charge of them."

Cael's brows rose. "My. Afraid? She cripples you to such an extent you now know the taste of your own fear? What is she, Pollux? You refuse to tell me, just as you refused to explain why you needed a kitten when last you asked for my help in retrieving one from that breeder you found online."

Something in Pollux's chest tightened. "I still do not wish to share that information with you."

"Surely you don't believe I'd worry about another unseelie taking root here. I am coming to terms with my own emotions concerning what we are. I trust your mate will be as fit for our eclipse as the rest of us."

Pollux stayed silent and traced the wing of his bee.

Cael hummed. "Well then. Understand that I am willing to support you, in whatever ways you will let me." Pushing his dark hair back over one long ear, he dragged a fresh page to him, dipped his quill in glittering crimson ink, and said, "Who am I contacting first thing tomorrow morning and exactly which time am I booking for you?"

After Pollux relayed the necessary information and left Cael's office, he meandered a moment at a palace window that overlooked Winterfeld, the nearest community in Cael's domain. Beyond the glass, at the end of the long path that connected the community to the palace, buildings rose from the landscape in bright hues. The crystal dwellings, serving as shops and homes, rested neatly among a collection of thick trunks that served similar purposes.

Pollux had seen Winterfeld from afar before.

He'd seen it recently when he'd attended Cael and Alana's wedding at a distance that kept him from troubling the happy throngs.

Once, long before it looked the way it did now, he'd entered the cobble streets, perused the storefronts, and secured lunch from shaking hands. Once, he'd decided he would never return if it meant he'd be a blight on the community's peaceful lives.

Fear was a weapon.

So he was a weapon.

In Kassandra's presence, everything he'd come to know changed.

In some ways, both he and Kassandra were facing unknowns filled with unspoken promises of better. Unspoken promises, he knew, were difficult to trust. He'd spent enough time around the fae nobility to know they were often a tool used to manipulate others.

Still.

Soon, he hoped to introduce Kassandra to this world as her presence allowed him to become a part of it himself. Soon, he hoped the unspoken promises would become spoken ones. Soon, he hoped more than the strange human kitten ritual would bind them.

Hope, he'd learned, was also a weapon.

However, it was one he minded far less than fear.