Chapter 36

Broken trust can be like broken ground, if you let it. Seeds planted in soft soil grow the strongest.

But, you must still take great care of them.

The whispers in Willow's living room are still deafening even beneath the sound of Ash's whimpers filling my ears.

Louder than everything, though, is Pila's silence.

On the floor near me while Cael and Pollux reprimand Alana and Alexios, the young dryad sits, staring.

"He's mine," I manage after her silence is suffocating. "He's my baby."

" Villain Protection Program , Alana!" Cael states, running his fingers through his dark hair thread with strands of gold and pacing beside Pollux, whose arms remain firmly crossed over his chest. "Villain Protection . Why do you need to protect villains?"

Pila's gaze lifts off Ash's crumpled face.

I know it does. I can see the way her head tilts upward.

But I can't bring myself to meet her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner what had happened?" she asks.

"We've discussed Castor more times than I've wanted to," Cael continues, black antennae caught in his grip. "I've done my best to explain how dangerous he is, haven't I? How could you do this? Both of you."

Alexios, entirely disinterested, drawls, "In my defense, I'm only one year old."

"That is no defense," Pollux growls.

It hurts to swallow. My lip trembles as I open my mouth. "I…can't have children, Pila. I didn't want to lose him. I've wanted to be a mother…for years."

Her hand lands on my knee, too gentle for how my own mind is beating me up right now. "Oh, Zahra… We are not enemies."

I lower my face, touching my lips to Ash's forehead. "That's what Castor said, too."

Pila's expression darkens, and she squeezes my leg. "Men like Castor have minds like rivers. The current shifts with every stone it erodes. He is not to be trusted, even if he cannot lie. Selfish beliefs decimate a grand many things. And now he has threatened your friend?"

My chin dips, and my body buckles beneath the weight of those words. "God, please protect her."

An ear-splitting sound shreds through the living room, and I tense before looking up.

Zylus removes his fingers from his mouth and turns to his wife. "Like that, starlight?"

Willow arches a brow. "Wow. You really can whistle. Crazy." She blinks. "Right. I had something to say…" Planting her hands on her hips, she snaps, "I'm very disappointed in everyone."

Cael scowls. "Do not think for a moment we will not have a discussion, too, Willow. It is my understanding you were a member of this insanity."

"A founding member, if you would be so kind." Willow sniffs. "Alana and I planned the VPP together over sandwiches and books—like one does."

Cael's gaze pierces Zylus. "And you didn't know?"

"Oh, no. I knew."

"But you didn't tell me either?" Cael throws a hand in the air.

"Well, it isn't like I overheard the program's establishment. I was out hunting. Willow told me in confidence when I got home. How could I break my soulmate's confidence?"

The faerie prince falters. "You…told him?"

"I recruited him. Alana recruited Xios. Together, our feeble numbers doubled. But, anyway, as I was saying, I'm very disappointed in everyone ."

"Isn't that my line?" Cael says.

"No." Willow huffs. "Am I the only one here who understands what just happened?"

"Assuming as much, do enlighten us," Alexios murmurs, interest sparking in his gaze.

"It's classic divide and conquer." Willow looks squarely at Pollux and Cael. "Secrets hurt, don't they? You kept the fact you were unseelie hidden for centuries, Cael. And, Pollux, you knew. Whether it was your secret to tell or not, to someone like Castor, that kind of vital information being kept from him as good as unwrites everything between the two of you. This isn't just division; it's the perfect revenge. It's the how does it feel when the most important people in your lives do the same to you? "

In the following stillness, Pila murmurs, "People will act in a way that compels others to feel what they're feeling… Such is especially true of those who are lonely. It's a desperate effort to feel less alone."

Willow drops her arms. "We're the found family, guys. Nothing's supposed to get between us like this. So maybe instead of reprimand and accusation that stems from hurt and fear, why don't we try getting to the root of why we've done what we have, why we're so hurt, and why we're going to actually come out of this stronger? We can't let Castor win, but especially not like this. I, for one, never would have tried to help him if I thought it would hurt any of you."

Cael's amber eyes close briefly before he faces Alana again. When he looks at her, every inch of him implores. "I am devastated you went behind my back. I… It tortures me to think you felt you had to keep something so dangerous from me."

Alana shrinks. "Every time I've tried to talk to you about Castor, you're guarded. Xios and I can sense something more in him than you and Pollux can. His melody is no less burdened with a desire to care and protect. It's just so…"

Pollux mumbles, "Sad."

Alana nods.

The large man's dark eyes land on Alexios. "Like a weeping soul."

"Quite frankly, it's sobbing like a baby. Truly shocking he's the eldest of us all…" Alexios murmurs. "I sought out Castor before A ever confronted me about joining her in these save the villain crusades. He's my friend."

Cael's whole demeanor droops, wings dragging on the floor. "We thought that once, too, Xios."

"Time changes many things." Alexios lifts a hand from his pocket and peers at his fingers. "I've withheld information from everyone, because Castor needed someone like…like any one of us. Someone he could trust to lean on. Someone willing to be there for him, no matter what." His fingers close. "Who knows. Maybe I wanted someone like that, too." His attention lifts, skimming Willow and Zylus, Ollie and Brittny, Cael and Alana, Pollux and Kassandra, Pila, Andromeda, and…me. "All of you have history I can't hope to compete with. When I first approached Castor, I was still trying to find where I belonged." Sighing, he lowers his sights to Pila. "Forgive me for what I've done that has hurt you."

Pila's steady green eyes close. "That is not an apology."

"I do not regret my actions. I knew the sapling I took would never have flourished where it was. I'm not sorry, because I do not want a world without Ash in it, but I do hope one day I'll gain your forgiveness."

Pila runs her fingers over the curly top of Terra's head. "Mistakes…I suppose…are an inevitable part of existence. We have more important things to consider at the moment. If our interests have realigned, what are we to do about Dani?"

Heaving a sigh, Alexios lifts his shoulders. "I'll talk to Castor."

"Is that a good idea?" Alana asks. "He's not very happy with you right now."

Kassandra wraps herself in a hug, tapping her fingers against her arms. "Not to mention he is obviously not above seeking extremely specific revenge."

Alexios's eyes roll. "He gets grumpy like this sometimes. It'll be fine."

"And if it isn't?" I ask, voice breaking.

Alexios's attention shifts my way once more. "Careful, snowflake, I might convince myself you care about me."

What an idiot.

Of course I care about him.

Standing, I say, "Dani is my friend. I should be the one to talk to Castor."

Cael's wings bristle. "Absolutely not."

Holding Ash tight, I face down the faerie prince. "Well, if no one's allowed to talk to Castor, what are we supposed to do about Dani? I don't know where she is. I don't have her last name. She's supposed to be on the run right now. And it took Castor weeks to find her. Unless you can reach her immediately, who knows when he plans to act?" My heart sinks as Ash's complaints heighten. Swallowing hard, I kiss his forehead and pull his face near my heart. "It may already be too late."

Alana's fists close. "We'll position sentries at every exit."

"Alana…" Cael murmurs. "…that is not wholly feasible, my love."

" At least a few of your spy moths?" Her eyes search his. "We have to do something. What else can we do?"

Cael frees a breath, then draws his wife into his arms, curling his wings around their bodies. "I do not have record of every exit in Castor's domain, but even if I did, such energy would be wasted against someone who senses my presence effortlessly."

"What do we do?" Alana whispers.

"Short of war…" Cael's eyes close.

Alexios says, "We trust Castor."

Heads turn his way.

He stifles a yawn, then extends his hand to me. "Haven't we tried everything else? All he's ever wanted is friends who believe in him. Why don't we set aside our apprehension and understand that he is hurting, and he is lonely, and he has found a human who we believe may be able to see past glamour."

Reaching Alexios, I hesitate before putting my hand in his and letting him reel me in, where he bends and touches a kiss to Ash's forehead, settling my baby's sobs into sniffles.

"Let's trust Castor. All this time, he's only been searching for a companion."

Andromeda crosses her arms. "Yeah, Beauty and the Beast style."

"Meda," Pollux grumbles.

"What?" she snaps. "It's true! Uncle Castor is going to Stockholm Dani."

Pollux glares at Kassandra, who throws her hands up. "I didn't teach her that."

I cough. Because. Um. Guilty.

Pollux's glare shifts my way, so I avert my eyes.

Ollie rises from where he and Brittny have maintained awkward silence thus far. "I know I'm not really a part of the history here with Castor, but I do know a thing or two about growing up in a world where no one believes in you. It's not…impossible that I wouldn't have turned out just as volatile and bitter if I hadn't found your eclipse, Cael."

"So we just trust that he won't hurt my friend?" That sounds like a truly terrible idea. Did Alexios miss the ultimatum? The threat? The broken shame still stuck in Alana's eyes? Damage has been done here. And we're just going to keep trusting? "That's what we're going with?"

"Of the villains I've heard tales of," Alexios begins, "Castor hardly makes it into the list of those I would condemn."

That's low. If the knowing gleam in Alexios's eye refers to my parents as the villains he's heard tales of, that is low .

Throughout my entire childhood, my mother always reminded me not to weigh sin. The smallest error held the same offense in God's eyes, after all. She used the truth of how God finds all sin equally offensive as a means to control and crush me for every mistake—no matter how small, innocent, or unintentional.

One mistake equated to the death of my soul, and redemption was sorely out of sight unless I shaped up and became her perfect .

Under a God that sent His own Son to die in order to grant us forgiveness, she created a premise that forgiveness wasn't just something we had to earn—it was out of reach unless we attained perfection.

It took me decades to realize that even perfection would never be enough for her, but my imperfections were already enough for God.

Trusting a Heavenly Father is hard when my own father decimated any hope that I could think about him without growing ill.

I have no good pictures to lean on.

I have to make them all up myself, from scratch.

And, since I am an artist, I know the importance of a reference.

"War…is also an option," Alexios murmurs into the growing pit of my silence. "It would, however, be more of a massacre, given that only Castor can hold his own against any one member in Cael's army."

"That's called manipulation , Xios," I snap.

He smiles, squeezing my hand. "It absolutely is. But have I ever steered you wrong before?"

I frown. Because, um, he certainly has tried, Mr. May I Have Your Soul .

Pouting, he says, "Fine. Hurt my feelings then. For right now, we should get Ash home."

"I drove my bike, and you flew," I remind him.

Zylus steps forward. "One shadow carriage coming right up."

"Appreciated." Alexios dips his head.

Cael sighs, pulling away from Alana. "Very well…get the babe home. We'll reconvene on how we wish to address this in the morning."

"Might I recommend gift baskets and strongly-worded letters?" Willow chimes.

Alexios chuckles. "Actually, we can just text him. He does have a phone."

Willow's mouth drops open. "Shut up. This is stuff you're supposed to share with the VPP, Xios."

"He's on Finch, too. I'd like to propose that an excellent rehabilitation method would be to spam him with friend codes."

"Finch?" Cael's brows knit.

"It's a self-care app."Alexios lifts his chin in Alana's direction. "A can show you."

Cael peers at his wife. "How much have you been keeping from me?"

"Only…a reasonable amount." She clears her throat as Alexios ushers Zylus and I from the house.

While a coach of shadows with skeletal horses takes shape in the yard, a tall man I've not met before strides from the forest, catching Alexios's attention.

My soulmate brightens, as though tonight's events haven't happened at all. "Sephin. They invited you to this thing? You just missed the party."

Sephin raises a brow, stopping a distance away from the two baying horses and smoothing back his short hair. "Excellent. I came right when I wanted to." He folds his arms. "O informed me it was customary to provide offerings at celebrations based on human birthdays, but I could not find it in myself to bother."

"How are things with the missus?"

"Don't bore me with small talk, Xios. I already regret the atmosphere I've walked into… What happened?" Sephin's narrowed gaze lands on Ash. "Since when do you have a child?"

Alexios exhales a laugh and lifts a shoulder. "I'll tell you later. For now…" He looks at me. "…I need to get my family home."