Chapter 9

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Is this a ? functional adult ??

"So, let me get this straight." Sitting Ash upright on my lap, I try to keep him from choking on his bottle of questionable gourd fluids. "Pollux and Kass don't know where you are right now?"

We got home two hours ago. I put the groceries away while Alexios proved he does know how to change a diaper. Then I made dinner. Spinach ravioli. I ate my dinner. I am now feeding my little baby, who I don't believe has ever been fed before in his life, judging by how quickly he's devouring his bottle.

In contrast, Alexios is still working his way through what must be a sad cold plate of ravioli by now. Honestly, I'm surprised he even took it at all.

"Xios," I state.

He pulls his glare up off his food. "Yes, snowflake?"

"Pollux and Kass don't know where you are right now?"

"I'm a grown man. Why would they need to know?"

I stare at him; he probes a ravioli, turning it over. "I was just wondering what to expect from Kass on Monday. If they don't know where you've been for the past few days, you should tell them something soon."

Ash coughs, sputtering against his bottle, so I draw it away, lean him forward, and tap his wee back.

As I coo soft encouragement, Alexios grumbles, "I detest the implication that Kass would think it appropriate to discuss my whereabouts with you."

"Oh nooo. Your stepmother might be worried about you if she doesn't know where you are. That sucks ." Once Ash has spit up a little of his food, I kiss his forehead, so he knows my sarcasm isn't directed at him. "Kass is pretty powerful now that she's come into her sandwoman abilities. Are you sure whatever enchantments are on me will be strong enough to fool her?"

Alexios nibbles a corner off a ravioli, chews for thirteen decades, and says, "I'm sure."

"How can you be sure?"

"Castor is several millennia older than Kass and far better versed in the mystical arts. Raw talent alone does not outdo practice."

Given that Kass transformed the school into a magical playground that only children and fae can see, I wonder if raw talent would be enough to sense foreign enchantments on me. As far as I know, sandwomen don't have elevated senses, but their ability to rend reality has no equal.

Now that I'm thinking about it, actually, I'll finally be able to see what the school really looks like. I'm not certain my acting skills will suffice in pretending that she didn't remold our paltry library into some ancient Greek architecture. Maintaining the secret of Ash's existence is important in order to maintain trust with Castor and discover more about what he's planning. Concealing Alexios's presence here just seems like an added complication.

Besides.

I want to see Prince Cael's bright part of Faerie. Castor's little gothic castle was real cute—in a depressing whoa, was that stone person we just passed once alive? kind of way. I'm totally up for a less-concerning romp outside of purely unseelie territory, but that means I need to be in a position where people like Kass and Cael know I won't go mad in Faerie.

"Tell Kass you're staying with me. Organize for Castor to switch up his enchantments so your presence isn't hidden."

Alexios's attention darts up off his food before he can take another pathetic bite out of his ravioli. "What?"

"If you don't tell her we're soulmates and you're staying with me in a desperate effort to woo my heart out of its cold, stone cage, I will." I unleash a brilliant smile. "Lying is wrong."

"You…" His brows furrow. "If lying is wrong, am I desperately trying to woo your heart out of a cold, stone cage? Is that what's happening?"

"Oh, totally. You reek of desperation, and my electric fence keeps zapping you. Which is super funny."

He nods. "Got it. I appreciate your willingness to be clear."

Amicable, I nod back. "Anytime. Unless it's funnier not to be."

Tenderness sweeps into Alexios's eyes, and I wish I didn't want to admit that he wears it well. "You won't tell her about the infant."

"I'm not going to tell her about Ash."

"Just about me."

"Just about you. So she won't worry." When Ash starts to whimper, I cautiously offer him his bottle again. "Also, it'll be easier to maintain this ruse while we get information on Castor. Having less secrets to keep track of where our friends are concerned will make learning what our enemy thinks he needs my baby for easier."

"Castor isn't our enemy, but that makes sense." Alexios takes another cautious bite of his ravioli.

"Also, I want to ask Kass what in the world they were feeding you over there."

Alexios's face crumples. He forces down his swallow roughly seventy-five chews too soon. "Did you not say you didn't care what I ate earlier?"

Glowing like the angel I am, I cuddle my sweet infant when he decides he has had enough food. "Between that wicked outburst and now, I have remembered my Christianity. Tsk tsk. Shame on me for saying such cruel words. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink ." For in doing so, you shall heap coals upon his head. Yet again, God is proud of me.

Ash spitting up on my shirt in this exact moment has no relation to my thoughts at all.

Before I can find one of the baby cloths I bought in bulk today and I swear I got out when I fixed Ash's bottle, Alexios is looming over me, passing me one with little ducklings on it.

Hesitating a moment, I take it. "Your services please the queen."

There's that tender warmth in his expression again. "Is that in lieu of a thank you , snowflake?"

I scoop the spit up off my shirt. "Don't be a silly goose."

Returning to his food, this insipid man says, "Honk."

※

Xios : Please be my friend and join my Tree Town.

I'm half asleep, and half delirious, catching up on my dating sim nonsense when the message from Alexios drops onto my screen. Immediately following, there's a link with a friend code.

Xios : If I invite five people, I get a llama.

For clarification purposes—probably—he sends a picture of a cartoon llama.

This is not the kind of thing I need to distract me from my worries about tomorrow's LARP sesh. Although, to be fair, the sharp cheekbones of the pretty vampire king male lead character from my game wasn't helping much either.

Because I'm not a monster, I tap the link and find myself winding down the horrific path of installing a mental health app where, apparently, you take care of a little bird by taking care of yourself. The more days you check in and the more tasks you complete, the more your little bird grows and the more cosmetics you can get in the store.

While I'm still grappling with the tutorial information, Alexios messages again.

Xios : You're my favorite person.

He sends me a screenshot of his full-grown adult bird next to a llama. If the fact he's played this game enough for his bird to grow up isn't cause enough for alarm, the entire complex outfit the little round thing is wearing might be.

Xios : I've needed one more friend with a phone for weeks.

Xios : You have saved my life.

Xios : You are a goddess.

Xios : My darling. My beloved.

Xios : May I have your soul, so our birbs might thrive together for all eternity?

He sends three adoring gifs, full of hearts and hugs, in rapid succession.

Zahra : There are more than five people with phones in your friend group, Xios. Why have you suffered for weeks over this?

Zahra : That's kind of depressing.

Xios : Well, I'm kind of made of depression, so.

Xios : I'm ? on brand ?

I snort and roll over to face Ash's crib.

Zahra : Time to pivot, buddy.

Xios : Respectfully, ? no ?

Zahra : Seriously. You've got Willow, Ollie, Brittny, Alana, Pollux, Kass, and now even Meda with phones.

Xios : It felt weird asking Kass, and I don't know Brittny and Ollie very well.

Zahra : You helped shingle their roof when they were building their new house in Faerie.

Xios : …

Xios : How do you know that?

Zahra : I talk to people. You should try it sometime.

Xios : Your aptitude for extroversion disturbs me. Just viewing it from afar prompts me to rest for thirty-six hours.

Zahra : Charming. Side note: does this mean Pollux has a tiny bird app on his phone? I've done the math. If I'm your fifth, that means Pollux is included in the group that helped you.

Xios : The creepy thing is that you know who in our faerie group has a human-connected device.

Zahra : I have all their numbers. Blame my ? aptitude for extroversion ?

Alexios—bless him—sends me a picture of a completely pink bird cheerfully walking beside a fully black bird. They both have tiny animals trotting after them, and I'm confused beyond words, but also…this sparks joy.

Xios : Pollux and Meda. One guess on whose is whose.

Xios : No hints.

Xios : Practically impossible.

Now, see. I've not had the pleasure of talking with Pollux all that much, but I do happen to be one of Andromeda's teachers, and that little gumdrop doodles atrocities in her notebooks at every opportunity. Pretty in pink might be what her big blue eyes say, but the child's heart oozes ink.

Zahra : Papa Pollux is pink. Meda is black.

He sends me a frowning emoji.

Xios : Please stop calling him Papa Pollux.

Zahra : I was designed to make you uncomfortable.

Xios : Truly a gift you abuse. Also, you're correct about whose is whose.

Xios : You thief of joy.

Rolling my eyes, I check the time and realize I should really abandon both my vampire king and chatting with Xios. I've got to head to bed before I mess up my entire sleep schedule mere nights before school resumes. The last thing I need on top of general baby exhaustion is staying up until one in the morning the night before I will need to be up at six.

Not to mention, tomorrow. Wade and the crew will be coming over in the afternoon. And staying. Until late. Five hours minimum. Five hours minimum without my baby.

There is still time to cancel. I already know that Wade has never slept a night in his life… I could message at three in the morning, and he'd respond in four seconds. If I cancel…I'll get more time to cuddle my baby before I have to go back to school. And stress even more. Because that's a full nine hours, including transport time rounded up, of no baby.

Do I…do I need to quit my teaching assistant job? At the bare minimum, I'd need to stick around until a replacement can be found—which means I would need to suffer long hours without my baby anyway—and Kassandra would be asking so many questions since she knows how long and hard I worked to find a position like this that would accept me.

Before I can fall any deeper into that complicated rabbit hole, Alexios messages again.

Xios : You don't have to be worried about tomorrow. Nothing bad will happen. I've been helping take care of Ash since he sprouted.

I take a deep breath and tame my irritation.

Zahra : Not fond of your ability to sense my emotions from all the way in your room.

Xios : I'm right outside your door.

My brow furrows.

Standing, I quietly march across the carpet, open my door, and watch Alexios tumble back at my feet.

Holding his phone in both hands above his chest, he stares up at me. "Oh. Hello, snowflake." A sly smile overtakes him. "Fancy meeting you here."

"What are you doing?" I ask.

His gaze skids off me. "Well, I never heard Ash soon enough to intercept him before you did last night. I seek to remedy my errors by closing some distance between the babe and I."

I blink. "So you're going to sleep on the floor outside my door?"

His head tilts against the carpet. "Yes. Unless…of course…you're offering an alternative solution."

When his gaze sneaks toward my bed, my stomach knots, and I think I'd feel a little more disturbed if he weren't…lying on the carpet…with his head at my feet.

As far as non-threatening goes, he's doing a good job of presenting harmless .

I cross my arms. "You couldn't handle it."

"Are you offering?"

"No, go to bed. Your bed."

Disdain marked with sulking takes over his expression. He huffs. "We need to figure something out. You won't be able to function if you continue taking the brunt of Ash's care. All night long. For days to weeks on end."

"It's really hard to take you seriously down there."

He arches a brow and touches his phone to his chin. "Why's that? Are you plagued by the human tendency to compose your opinions based on naught but appearances?"

"It is all I do in my spare time, really." I glance at my hand, on the doorknob, and tell myself it would not be nice to shut the door on his body. It might hurt, even. And good children don't hurt people.

Ah, temptation. My old nemesis.

"Zahra," he states, pulling me from my wicked thoughts. "I am quite serious, angel. It is among my purposes to assist you where Ash is concerned, so you don't wear yourself out. How do we do this?"

For a guy in a tailcoat sprawled across my bedroom floor, he's saying remarkably stable things. So, I sigh and release the doorknob. "I'll go out and get a baby monitor tomorrow, before LARP. You can set it up so you'll hear Ash in your room."

"An excellent solution. May I propose implementing it tonight?"

"It's a little late to go out right now, isn't it? We wouldn't be back from the twenty-four-hour Walmart until, like, one. And I just told myself I would not be ruining my sleep schedule by staying up that late."

"I'll pop through a trod to California. It's still within usual operating hours out there." He jolts upright, tosses his braid back, and stands as he pockets his phone. "Allow me ten minutes, snowflake."

Oh, right, yeah. Magic. And magical convenience.

I keep forgetting about that stuff.

"Do you have money?" I ask.

"I have a card connected to Ollie's bank account, courtesy of Willow. I'll text her to let her know I'm making a VPP business-related purchase. She's probably still up. Very bad at going to bed, that one."

"Right-o, then. See you in a bit…"

After a surreal handful of minutes, Xios returns, sets up the monitor, kisses Ash's forehead, and goes back to his room with a smile.

Lying in the dark, replaying the entire interaction in my brain, I decide not to cancel LARP.