12. My Girl

Chapter 12

My Girl

Ethan

I t felt like a betrayal as I stood in the foyer, clutching my gym bag to my chest so I didn’t storm down the hall and rip Leo off of Libby.

Was she so damn loud because he was that good in bed, or was she faking it?

Oh, God. She’d let him put his dick inside her.

My cock twitched at the mental image that brought, and I wanted to throw my bag across the room. Without my permission, my feet carried me down the hall and stopped in front of Leo’s door.

I could barge in there and pull them apart like some scorned lover who caught his girlfriend cheating.

Girlfriend.

This time, it didn’t just mean my best friend who happened to be a girl. This time, it meant I wanted her as mine, and I still didn’t know what to do with that.

I stood there, frozen, my mind reeling from the sounds. I felt like I’d just finished my run, a mix of anger, jealousy, and... arousal? Was there something wrong with me?

For twenty-seven years, I’d never felt this way about any woman or female-presenting person, let alone my best friend. Libby had always been special to me, but this was different; this felt primal, and it scared the shit out of me.

I slumped against the wall, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, my gym bag clutched to my chest like a shield. The moans and grunts from Leo’s room continued, each sound twisting the knife in my gut a little deeper.

“Fuck,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair that was still damp from sweat.

How had I not realized my feelings before? All those times we’d shared a bed, all those movie nights cuddled up on the couch, and not once had I felt the stirring in my loins that I was experiencing now.

But now? Now I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to be the one in there with her. To be the one making her cry out in pleasure. To feel her soft skin against mine, to taste her lips, to...

“Leo!”

“Fuck!”

I squeezed my eyes shut, but closing my eyes only made the mental images more vivid. I could picture Libby’s blonde hair splayed out on the pillow, her brown eyes dark with desire, her lips parted as she came all over my cock.

My cock was hard, and I groaned in frustration, struggling to my feet. This was Libby, for crying out loud. My best friend. The girl who’d seen me at my worst, who’d held my hand when I came out to my parents, who’d always been there for me. And now, there I was, fantasizing about her like some horny teenager.

But it wasn’t just about sex, was it? No, this feeling went deeper than that. It was the way she laughed at my terrible jokes, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her students or a book she was reading, the way she always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.

I’d always loved Libby, but I was starting to realize that maybe I was in love with her too.

The sounds from Leo’s room finally quieted, and I sucked in a sharp breath since I’d apparently forgotten how to breathe. What was I supposed to do now? How could I face Libby knowing what I knew about myself, about my feelings for her?

And knowing she’d just had her brains screwed out… by a man I’d almost let screw me.

This whole situation was a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

I needed to get out of the hallway, that was for damned sure. Maybe a long shower would help sort out the jumble of emotions swirling inside me.

Once safely in my room, I set my gym bag on my blowup mattress that was way too small for my tall ass and shuffled into the bathroom. My furniture would be moved over the weekend, and I couldn’t wait for my feet not to hang off the end.

After taking off my shirt, I glanced in the mirror. I looked like a man who’d had his world turned upside down. Libby had awoken something in me that I never knew existed, and now that it was awake, I had no idea how to put it back to sleep.

But did I even want to?

I turned on the shower, letting the water heat as I peeled off the rest of my sweat-soaked gym clothes. I couldn’t help but groan in frustration; despite my best efforts to think of anything else, I was hard as a rock.

“Traitor,” I muttered, glaring at my dick.

Stepping into the shower, I hoped the water would wash away the confusing cocktail of emotions swirling inside me. But my mind kept replaying what I’d overheard in the hallway. Libby’s moans, Leo’s grunts, the sound of skin on skin...

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the mental images, but that only made them more vivid. Except now it wasn’t just me and Libby. Leo was there too, his hands roaming over both of us with hungry eyes.

“Fuck me.” My cock ached at the idea of two hands on it.

And then the image switched to me buried inside Libby, her head thrown back in ecstasy while Leo took me from behind.

My hand moved of its own accord, wrapping around my throbbing erection. I knew I shouldn’t have been doing this, shouldn’t have been thinking about my best friend this way, let alone fantasizing about a threesome with her and Leo. But I was too far gone to stop.

As I stroked myself, the fantasy continued to unfold. I pictured Leo’s strong hands on my hips, guiding me as I thrust into Libby. In this make-believe world, there was no jealousy and no confusion. There was pure, unadulterated pleasure.

I groaned, my hand moving faster as I neared the edge.

The erotic imagery switched to Libby’s lips wrapped around my cock while Leo fucked her from behind. As my orgasm built, I braced myself against the shower wall with my free hand, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps.

The line between reality and fantasy blurred, and for a moment, I could almost believe that Libby and Leo were really in the shower with me, both on their knees, taking turns sucking my cock.

With a strangled cry, I came hard, my release washing away down the drain along with the last of my denial. I slumped against the shower wall, feeling both satisfied and utterly confused.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? How could I face Libby—or Leo, for that matter—knowing what I’d just done? And more importantly, what did this mean for my sexuality?

I had more questions than answers. Normally, I’d have immediately run to Libby, but for obvious reasons, that was out of the question. My other friends would probably give me shit before giving me advice, and I didn’t think I wanted to tell them yet.

It looked like I was on my own in figuring out what the hell I was going to do. But what I did know was that I’d be a masochist for leaving my room. I was no stranger to staying in my room all night and eating snacks I kept on hand because I knew that if I ran into Leo, I was going to go to prison for murder.

I was in a shit mood, even though it was Friday and the office was quiet. I’d gone for the mature approach and avoided both Libby and Leo. There was a wee bit of guilt for not eating dinner with Libby since she’d cooked it, but at that time, I couldn’t trust how I’d act around them.

It was almost lunchtime, and I was torn between whether to text Libby to go to lunch or to continue my quiet contemplation. My mind was anything but quiet, though.

Frustrated at myself for acting like a child instead of a grown-ass man, I popped into Paige’s office, hoping she could shed some light on my situation. Since she started working at LRG Marketing last year, she had become my work bestie.

“Hey, you busy?” I shut the door and sat down before she even answered.

She looked up from her computer screen with a smile which quickly fell. “What’s wrong?”

Jesus, was I that transparent? “Nothing.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Everything.”

I hoped I didn’t end up regretting talking to her about this, seeing as one of her three boyfriends was not just my boss, but also Libby’s brother. There was literally no one else I trusted not to laugh or talk about it in the break room, though.

She bit her lip. “Is it Libby?”

I sat up straighter. “Why? Has she said something to you?” Libby had grown closer to Paige over the past year, but I didn’t think they shared too much information with each other.

“She texted and asked if you were okay today; said you weren’t feeling well last night and went to bed super early. What’s going on?” She closed her laptop and gave me her undivided attention.

“You can’t breathe a word of this to anyone, especially not your boyfriends.” I was putting a lot of trust in this woman, even though it very well might come back and bite me in the ass.

She rolled her eyes. “As long as no one is hurting Libby, my lips are sealed.”

“I’m in love with her.” The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them.

Paige’s eyes widened. “Oh, Ethan,” she said softly, her voice filled with understanding.

“I know, I know.” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “It’s ridiculous, right? I’ve never thought of her that way before. Well, and there’s the small detail that she’s a woman, but lately...” I was unsure how to explain the shift in my feelings without sounding insane.

“What changed?”

I uncovered my face and gripped the arms of the chair to stop myself from hiding behind my hands again. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s her moving here, or seeing someone else show interest in her, or...” I paused, remembering the moment that had truly shaken me. “At the event last weekend, there was this moment when everything clicked into place.”

Paige nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Sometimes it takes a catalyst to make us see what’s been in front of us all along.”

“But what do I do?” I asked, feeling lost. “I can’t risk losing her. Plus, how do I explain to her that, surprise! Apparently, I do like women, even if it just seems to be her.”

“Love is always a risk, but it’s also the most amazing thing in the world when it’s right. As for your sexuality… should any of us label ourselves and define our entire lives based on that label?”

I sighed, slumping back in my chair. “No, but… but what if it’s not right? What if I’m just confused?”

Paige shook her head. “I don’t think you’re confused about her or how you feel. What would you say to one of your straight friends if they came to you and said they were having feelings for their best friend who was the same gender?”

“I’d say go for it.” I ran a hand down my face with a chuckle. “You’re right. Damn it, Paige. When did you become so wise?”

She sat up straighter, a smirk coming across her face. “Well, this morning-”

“Nope.” I jumped to my feet not needing to hear about any sextivities she had been up to. “Thanks, Paige.”

“Anytime. What are you going to do?” She opened her laptop back up as I stopped in the doorway.

“I’m going to go take my girl to lunch.”

It was going to be awkward as hell, but I would never forgive myself if I let Leo sink his claws into her before I had a chance to see where things might go between us.