Chapter Nineteen

Gray

The next day, I meet Wes for lunch at a café. We sit at the window like we often do. Wes likes to watch the flow of the city's foot traffic. This is actually the first place we had coffee after he forgave me for what happened with his sister. Wes doesn’t know the whole truth about what happened there. He doesn’t know that I was almost blackout drunk and that she was sober. He’s never seemed to understand his sister’s sadistic side, and it’s never been my place to tell him.

“How are things with work?” he asks, blowing on his coffee.

I take a sip of mine despite the heat, letting it scald me, almost taking some comfort in it. It means I don’t have to think about Callie. It means I don’t have to obsess over her. Every moment since last night, she’s been in my thoughts. When I offered to watch the movie, and she said no, I could tell how difficult it was for her.

“Good,” I tell him. Work, at least, is going well. “How about you? You keeping yourself busy?”

“Always artists to wrangle,” Wes replies, nodding. “There’s always a gallery that needs paintings, always styles that need nurturing. Sloane called me this morning.”

From the way he says it, his sharp features drawing in, it’s clear that this is why he wanted to meet for lunch. Jorge’s car was gone this morning. I guess they must’ve stayed in Maplebrook. He probably woke up sober, took one look at Sloane, and disentangled himself from our messed-up situation as quickly as he could.

“Okay…” I wait for Wes to go on.

“Apparently, last night, you rubbed yours and Callie’s relationship in her face,” Wes speaks in a neutral tone, giving me no indication of whether or not he believes his older sister. “It seems that you made it clear to Emery—in front of Sloane—that Callie was far better for her. You made Sloane feel like an extra part with her own kid. An observer. These are all her words.”

“Oh, right.” I take another sip of scalding black coffee. “And what else did she say?”

“She regrets not being there for Emery. She wants to look into joint custody.”

“Hmm,” I mutter. Or maybe it’s more of a growl. “That’s pretty goddamn interesting. What did you tell her?”

“I said I’d ask you about it.”

Maybe I’ve gone for too many years holding my tongue about his sister. Let this go too far. Let my guilt drive me. “Wes, have you ever known your sister to be manipulative?”

“I can’t choose sides, Gray. You know what.”

“I’m just asking you a question.”

He sighs. “She’s not perfect. I’ve never claimed that, and I never would.”

“But have you ever known her to go out of her way to be cruel? To purposefully hurt somebody just for the sake of it?”

Something flashes across his eyes. I’d bet money that he knows what I’m talking about and agrees with me. But it’s an understandably difficult situation for him to be in. They’re family. “I can’t answer that,” he says. “I don’t think it’s fair of you to ask me.”

I almost snap at him. Wes is smarter than this. But he’s caught in one hell of a tricky spot. “Fine. Then I’ll tell you the truth. Sloane lied to you. I didn’t push Callie on Emery. I didn’t rub anything in Sloane’s face. Last night, Sloane found one of Callie’s ex-employers, a man who had harassed and bullied her and brought her to my house under a fake name.”

Wes’s instinct is to laugh, which drives me nuts. “What?”

“I know. It sounds made up. It sounds like a bad joke. But it’s not. I was there.”

“Callie told you it was this guy, did she?”

His tone is seriously starting to annoy me. He seems determined for Callie to be someone she isn’t, for her to fit into a neat box so that he doesn’t have to like her.

“No. I recognized him from his website. And Sloane bragged about it. She bragged about finding him on an online forum and concocting this scheme. Do you seriously think I’d make something like this up, Wes?”

He grits his teeth. He wants so badly to say yes. But it’s like I can see his mind working. I can see him cataloging all the times Sloane lied. Even if he refuses to tell me about them, there must be some. Because that’s just who she is. It’s not as if she’s going to change that magically and repress that part of her. She is a liar, plain and simple.

“Maybe she feels left out,” he says. “Threatened by Callie. She guessed something was going on between you two.”

“Guessed? I thought you said I rubbed it in her face ?”

“Yeah, that’s how she guessed,” he says. “It was obvious, she said. She thinks you were trying to get revenge for her walking out.”

“I never wanted revenge,” I snap. “All I’ve ever wanted is for Emery to be okay. I know you know who your sister really is, Wes.”

“You can’t make me choose sides,” Wes says again, sounding so juvenile I want to snap at him.

I remember when we were kids, he brought me to his shed out back, showed me the large canvas he’d been working on, the pride on his face as he said, “Is it something, Gray? Is it good?” And I patted him on the shoulder and told him he was a genius. A dozen other memories attack me all at once. I can’t lose him, but I can’t go along with his delusions either.

“I don’t want anybody to choose,” I say. “But I won’t go along with her lies. Last night, she did a really sick thing. She tried to hurt an innocent woman just for the sake of it. There was no reason to do what she did, but she did it anyway.” When he hesitates, I say, “Hand to heart, do you think I’m making this up?”

He shakes his head slowly. “Sloane is complicated. When we were kids, some things happened to her, things you don’t know about. She didn’t have it easy. If she sometimes behaves in ways she shouldn’t, then she has her reasons. I’m not saying it excuses it; just explains it.”

“I accept that. But it doesn’t change the facts. She lied about last night.”

Wes takes a long sip of coffee. Finally, he says, “I think if you want her to back off, you should find a different nanny.”

My tone goes as cold as my blood. “What the fuck?”

“Even your reaction tells me finding another nanny is the right choice. It’s not a good long-term situation, being in a relationship with her.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” I snap. Maybe I’m trying to make one happen, even if I know I shouldn’t. “And Emery really likes her.”

“Sloane’s got something stuck in her craw when it comes to Callie, Gray. She’s not going to quit while she’s living with her daughter. She’ll come for custody.”

“Yeah, and maybe she’ll get it… and then what? What happens when she gets bored and decides, instead of suddenly wanting to be a novelist, that she wants to travel the world, huh? She can’t play with Emery’s head like that. Last night, she barely even looked at her daughter.”

“Then get rid of Callie,” Wes says. “She’ll lose interest then.”

“Listen to yourself. You refuse to admit that Sloane’s manipulative, but what is this if it’s not manipulation?”

“She’s my sister,” he snaps.

“And that makes it all okay?” I demand. “It means she can do any damn thing she wants, behave however she wants? But, because you’re related, I just have to accept it? She’s being selfish. She’s being a terrible mother, starting this pointless feud with Callie. Emery loves Callie, and Sloane hates that because she never made an effort with Emery. It’s grotesque. Your sister’s a fucked up.”

I stop when I realize I’ve raised my voice and that people at the adjacent tables are looking at us. Wes leans back in his chair, looking shocked, as if my words have physically pushed him. “Jesus, Gray.”

There’s a long pause. He doesn’t need to say anything else. I never lose my cool like that. But lately, I’m starting to think that’s because I’ve buried my feelings. I never let myself feel the rage I should have at what Sloane did. I never let myself experience resentment toward Wes for always excusing his sister’s behavior. I never let myself feel a damn thing before Callie came along.

“She’s changed you,” Wes says.

I can’t deny it. “For the better. I’m not a zombie anymore.”

“You have to understand how difficult this is going to make things. If you don’t get rid of her, Sloane won’t quit.”

“Yeah, she won’t quit manipulating… which you seem determined to deny is something she does.”

We’ve clearly reached an impasse. We’re going in circles. I don’t feel good about anything that’s just happened. If Wes’s expression is anything to go by, he doesn’t, either.

“I’m not saying it’s easy,” he murmurs after another pause. “I know this situation is seriously messed up. I’d never deny that. But I have to be practical. I have to try to walk a fine line between you both or let both of you go. After what happened…”

I know he’s referring to the betrayal. Something snaps in me again. “I was almost blackout drunk. She was stone-cold sober.”

“What are you saying?”

“Just that—just the facts. I hated myself for it afterward. I wanted to pretend it never happened. But then Emery came along, and I could never pretend she didn’t matter.”

“No, of course not. I love her. She’s the cutest, most wonderful kid you ever could’ve asked for, Gray. I’d never dispute that.”

“I know.” I sigh. “Listen, Wes, I don’t want to fight with you. I’ve never wanted that. But I don’t think I can give you what you want when it comes to Callie.”

“Don’t you get it? This was never about what I wanted. This was never about me, full stop. This was always about you and Emery. I wanted to protect you.”

“Callie’s not a gold digger. She’s a good woman who’s drawn some shitty straws in life, and she’s trying to make the best of it.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” he says. “It’s about what Sloane thinks now. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Sloane is manipulating you. But if it’s a choice between giving her what she wants and keeping Emery or fighting her and maybe losing your daughter, what will you choose?”