Chapter Fourteen

Callie

Hearing Emery’s voice jolts me from the spell. It’s like time moves slowly as I replay the last ten or so minutes—maybe more. I remember kissing in the hallway, giving myself to the desire, wrapping my legs around him. And then his hands were all over me, and I felt like the most wanted person in the world. The way he moaned, the way he touched me as if I was the only woman he ever wanted, made me feel drunk.

As I hear the door handle creak, I jump to my feet and run across the room. I can feel my boobs bouncing, feel his saliva clinging to me, feel the wetness in my underwear. I hear him rustling on the bed—probably getting rid of my clothes.

When I reach the en-suite, I quietly close the door.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.”

“Okay, sweetness. I’ll make some dinner soon.”

“Can Callie eat with us?”

“Sure.”

“Callie’s the best.”

“She sure is. Why don’t you find a movie for us to watch after dinner?”

“A movie? Yippee!”

I lay my forehead against the door, letting out a long breath as her footsteps pad away. What the heck were we thinking? It’s even worse when the door opens, and Gray stands there with a smirk as if he thinks this is all a big joke.

I cover my chest. “That was a mistake.”

He narrows his eyes, looking fierce. “It didn’t feel like a mistake.”

“Maybe not at the time—”

“Maybe?”

“But it does now,” I snap. “What if we hadn’t heard her? We’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.”

He grabs my shoulders and pulls me against him. When he kisses me, I feel powerless. It’s like all my resolve melts away like I’m drowning in the pleasure, in the need. But I push my hands against his chest, forcing myself to create some room between us.

“You can’t keep doing that,” I hiss. “Kissing me doesn’t make this any less complicated.”

I won’t be controlled. I won’t be manipulated . I keep that to myself, but it’s true. I’m my own woman. I need this job.

“What’s with this hot and cold crap?” he grunts.

“Don’t say it like that,” I hiss, pushing past him to find my bra and shirt.

“Like what?” he says from behind me as I quickly get dressed.

“Like I’m doing it to trick you or something. It’s like last night when you thought I threw myself down the stairs because I wanted you to save me. I’ve never wanted a savior, never needed one, and I don’t want or need one now. If I’m hot and cold, it’s because, newsflash, a girl can change her mind. Just because I kissed you and we got steamy…” I hesitate because the word ‘steamy’ somehow doesn’t seem like enough. “It doesn’t mean I have to do everything you want now. It doesn’t mean I have to fulfill your every freaking desire.”

I turn to him. He’s got his hands on his hips, his lips in a severe line, his chest rising and falling heavily. He looks powerful, not just physically. He looks exactly like what he is—a rich, older man who has control over me.

“You’re right,” he says after a pause, surprising me. “I…lost my cool. Maybe we should go back to our original plan.”

“Pretend this never happened?” I murmur.

He laughs between gritted teeth.

“What’s so funny?” I snap.

“Just your tone. It’s like you say one thing but mean another.”

“I’m just conflicted,” I murmur. “But just because I feel conflicted doesn’t mean we have to choose to behave that way. At the end of the day, this should all come down to what’s best for Emery. And what’s best for her is keeping some professional distance between us.”

“You’re right,” he says, lifting his hands in the air in surrender. “There’s just something about you, Callie. You make me lose myself, like I’m drunk or high, just by being close to you. It’s like I can’t think straight. I know I need to calm down. That it’s not right. I never planned on being the older man perving on his nanny.”

I walk over to him, then stop myself. Without even thinking, I was about to take his hand. It’s like we’re developing an addiction to physical touch. “You’re not perving on me,” I tell him. “This is a two-way street. I’m just saying we should probably do a U-turn while we still can.”

He nods. “Let’s go. Emery’s waiting. We’ll pretend to be normal for the rest of the evening.”

***

“And did you?” Katerina asks later on the phone. “Pretend to be normal?”

“Yes, I think so,” I tell her, lying on my back and looking up at the shaft of moonlight on the ceiling. “But I won’t lie. It’s not easy. It’s actually one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Being close to him, honestly, just messes with my head. But that’s a reason not to act on this feeling rather than throwing myself into it. I don’t want to be controlled. That’s the reason I ran. Why I never let that Jorge creep see the effect he was having on me.”

“Do you think he’s trying to control you, Callie?” she asks.

“I don’t think so,” I murmur. “Not trying , exactly, but it’s almost like he doesn’t have to. Just him being him is enough. He said being around me makes him feel drunk and high without touching any substances. That goes both ways. Being with him makes me want to forget about everything else. I guess being in this house doesn’t help. It’s like we’re in a fairytale castle.”

“Maybe you could find your own place,” Katerina murmurs.

“Yeah, maybe, except I’d be silly to turn down free room and board. I think I just need to get myself under control. Tomorrow, his ex is coming for dinner with a date. He wants me to be there since Emery will be there, too. So I definitely have to keep my cool then. The last thing he needs is one of us slipping up in front of her. Between us, Kat, she seems a little cray-cray. Maybe more than a little.”

“You can do it,” Katerina says. “Just take it one step at a time. Put one foot in front of the other, as they say. You don’t want to lose this job.”

“I know,” I sigh.

“If you get involved, and things end—and not to be a drag, but all things end—you will lose it.”

“I know,” I say again, a bit snappish this time, even if I don’t mean to be. It’s because I know she’s right.

After the phone call, I mentally note all the reasons I need to go back to being just the nanny. One—I’ll never let a man have control over me, and earlier, he had major steamy control. Two—I can’t risk this job when I’m supporting Dad. Three—I don’t want to hurt Emery. Do I really need more motivation to keep things professional?