Chapter Fourteen

August had no control over himself. He had spent years being a disciplined person. His father had a rigid standard which August had always tried to live up to.

Georgina Strong tempted him beyond all reason.

Still, he reined in the passion flowing within him and kept the kiss fairly chaste, holding her in place, his lips pressed firmly to hers. She felt stiff in his arms for a moment, taken by surprise by the sudden kiss. He believed it to be her first one, having come to know her, and decided if it would be the only one between them, it must be memorable—for both of them.

Slowly, he began brushing his lips back and forth against hers, feeling her body relax. He started a series of soft, gentle kisses, touching his lips to hers briefly. Breaking the kiss. Doing so again and again.

Her hands came to the lapels of his coat, and her fingers bunched the material, now holding him in place. He couldn't help but smile against her mouth at her assertiveness.

August now let the kisses go for a longer period of time. Need began building within him, though, and he knew he must stop soon.

Before he lost his head.

Before he took too much from her.

Before he gave her his heart.

He kissed her a final time, wistfulness filling him, knowing he could never build a life with this woman. Reluctantly, August broke the kiss and then lifted his head. Staring down at her, he saw she kept her eyes closed for a few moments before opening them to look up at him.

"That was my first kiss," she shared, awe in her voice. "It is much better than kissing a pillow," she added, chuckling.

"You kiss your pillow?"

Lady Georgina nodded. "I thought it would be a good idea to practice on it. To be ready for when I did kiss a gentleman."

"So, I was better than your pillow."

"Yes. I liked your kisses quite a bit, my lord, but I did not lose my head as Pippa said I would." She paused, her brows knitting together slightly in thought. Then she gazed up at him. "I think... I think you were holding back," she mused. "Pippa said she becomes lost in Seth's kisses. That he uses his tongue when he kisses her. While I enjoyed what we did, I still was able to think about what we were doing."

She released her hold on him. "This confirms to me that you are not the one for me, Lord Edgethorne. That somewhere in Polite Society is a man who will make my head spin. I will admit that seeing you makes my heart speed up a beat, and my belly fluttered in a very odd but interesting way when we were kissing. But I kept my head. I knew we were kissing. I suppose I can thank you for that."

"You are thanking me for letting you know I am not the man for you," he said flatly, perturbed by her words.

August did not want another man kissing Georgina Strong. He did not want her senseless in another man's arms.

He wanted her for himself.

Now.

Catching her waist, he jerked her to him, a gasp flying from those soft, rosebud lips.

"If you truly want to know what kissing is about, my lady, then let me be the one to show you."

His mouth came down on hers, seizing control. He kissed her hungrily, need coursing through him. He softly bit into her plump lower lip, causing her to moan softly. His tongue licked the place, soothing it. Then he used his tongue to sweep back and forth across her bottom lip, over and over. Her body began softening, her breasts pressed against his chest. August eased one hand from her waist, anchoring it along her back. His other moved to her nape, keeping her in place.

Then he persuaded her to open to him, his tongue moving inside her mouth, her gasp swallowed by him.

He found her tongue and allowed his to glide along hers. Time stood still as he thoroughly explored her sweetness at his leisure. Taking. Taking. Taking, again and again.

She began kissing him back. Their tongues began to play together. War together. But in this game, they both were winners.

August kissed her until the world outside this park became irrelevant. There was only her warm body. The scent of roses rising from her heated skin. The feel of her lush curves against him.

Finally, he broke the kiss, exhausted both physically and emotionally. He rested his brow against hers as they both fought to catch their breath.

Lifting his head from hers, he was pleased at the dazed expression on her face. Their gazes connected, and he saw the wonder in her eyes.

"That... was incredible," Lady Georgina said breathlessly. "That is what Pippa tried to tell me about and had no words to explain. How you kiss and become lost in that kiss. How you experience such pleasure and yearning at the same time."

She paused, thinking a moment. "Was it... I mean... did you enjoy our kisses, Lord Edgethorne?"

Gruffly, he replied, "I would not have kissed you for as long as I did if I had not enjoyed doing so, my lady."

He still held her against him. He did not think she even realized, and he was reluctant to release her.

"This changes everything," she said. "Now, I am beginning to understand what my twin told me." She boldly asked, "Do you have feelings for me, my lord?"

Her question took him aback. Immediately, he released her, and brusquely said, "I was merely showing you what a kiss could be, Lady Georgina. You had questioned the veracity of the kisses that came before it. I wanted you to understand what could pass between a man and a woman with a kiss."

She seemed to grow small, retreating inside herself.

"I see," she said quietly. "Your words indicate to me that nothing has truly changed between us."

Confused, he asked, "What do you mean?"

Impatience flickered in her eyes, and she crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "I was asking if the kisses we enjoyed together changed your feelings about me. And about your attitude toward marriage."

"I will not hide the fact that I physically desire you, Lady Georgina," August admitted. "I have not changed my opinion regarding marriage, however. You are correct to assume that we sit on opposite sides of the fence. What you want from a marriage is diametrically opposed to what I need from one."

She gazed at him in astonishment. "So, you find me physically attractive. You know we would suit one another well in the bedroom. Yet you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge anything other than a marriage of convenience. I might add, your convenience."

Much as he desired this beauty, he could not drag her down.

"We would never suit in a marriage, my lady," he said coldly, putting distance between them with his harsh tone. "You want a partner who is both lover and friend in your husband. You want a man who is involved in the lives of his children. I do not wish for any of that."

"Were you always like this?" she demanded. "Did you always believe you would wed out of convenience?"

"I did not believe I would wed at all," he said honestly. "I was committed to the military. As an officer, my life was dedicated to king and country, along with watching out for my men. I knew there was a distinct possibility that I might die on the battlefield in service to my country, while protecting those men. I never considered the possibility of marriage."

He swallowed painfully. "Now, however, as the Marquess of Edgethorne, it is my obligation to provide an heir. To keep the family name going. Because of that, I will do my duty and take a wife."

He paused, their gazes meeting. "And because of my monstrous appearance, my chances of making a match have dwindled considerably. Yes, there will be someone in Polite Society who will become my marchioness. Most likely, some father will tell his daughter it is worthwhile to wed a scarred beast because of the prestige which will come to her by being a marchioness. Just because I wed, though, does not mean I wish for my wife to be tied to me. I want her to be able to live her life to the fullest. What I can give her in exchange is the trappings of a comfortable lifestyle. My name—and the title which accompanies it. Hopefully, children will also be a part of our union. I want to give my wife as much freedom as possible in exchange for locking her into a marriage with a man such as myself."

"You are a fool, my lord," Lady Georgina pronounced. "You are so much more than your looks, and yet you continually harp upon them."

He seized her shoulders, shaking her a moment, trying to have her make sense of things.

"Do you know what it is like to catch sight of myself in the mirror? To continually be horrified by my own appearance? I try to avoid doing so as much as possible. It is difficult enough for me to live with what I now am. I do not want that to hurt my wife or children. The less they have to do with me, the better."

August released her, retreating a few steps. They glared at one another, no words passing between them.

"I will leave you to your thoughts, my lady," he said. "Now that I know this space is your retreat, I will avoid coming here."

She wet her lips, causing a rush of desire to run through him, and said, "I will hand it to you, Lord Edgethorne. Your kisses have awakened something within me. I understand this is but the tip of the iceberg in regard to physical intimacy between two people. At least I know what a good kiss is—and I plan to kiss several men in the future. I will find one whose kisses make my head spin. A man who is not so shallow as to only think of his physical appearance. I intend to find a man who believes in love. With me."

Her words were like a knife to his heart. August couldn't bear the thought of her sharing intimacies with another man, yet he could not ruin her life by tying her to him through marriage. It might ostracize her from the ton. He was not willing to hurt her so deeply.

Giving up Lady Georgina Strong would be the greatest sacrifice he had ever made. He had held her in his arms for a few stolen moments. He would have to live on the memory of those kisses.

Bowing to her, he said, "I will not approach you again at any social event, my lady. I will never ask you to dance, so you will not have to publicly reject me. I wish you the best in finding happiness. And love."

He turned away, his heart shattered, and strode from the small garden. He would keep to his word and avoid the place in the future, knowing that she came here. It was a place they could be alone, and that meant it was a place of temptation to him. August could not be around her. He would avoid her at ton affairs. He could never seek her out again. Never speak to her. If anyone in her family asked him to tea, he would politely send his regrets. He must cut off all contact with Lady Georgina and the Strong family. It was a pity, because they had been some of the few people who had supported him at last night's ball.

He would also need to avoid Blankenship. While he would give anything to renew his friendship with the viscount, he believed his old friend might make a match with Lady Georgina. Because of that, he would avoid Blankenship and his friend's entire circle at all costs.

August retreated to his study and poured himself a snifter of brandy. He sat in the chair by the window, staring out at the park that separated his townhouse from Seaton's.

A single tear rolled down his cheek from the one good eye he possessed. He allowed it to fall, feeling his life was over.