Chapter 10

ChapterTen

Sadie

Then stay—his words echo in my mind.

I can’t have heard him right. There’s no way he can possibly want me to stay. Not after the way I arrived, dumped on his doorstep, a terrible, ill thought gift from his mother.

Merry Christmas, Nick. Here’s a woman you don’t want, red bow not included.

I mean, he can’t mean it, can he?

Stay. His voice, so deep, so demanding, it’s like he’s burned the word into my mind.

I lift my eyes to his, searching. I think I hear him whisper a curse, something so low under his breath I’m not sure if I heard it at all.

And then he moves. His head dips, his large body shifting closer until I can see nothing, feel nothing, but him. His hand comes to the back of my head as the hand he covered with mine closes around the side of my neck, his thumb sliding under my chin, angling my face to his.

I feel so small in his hands, so delicate as his warm touch and his big hands cradle me gently. His woodsy scent overwhelms me as he invades my space. He’s so close, and yet I am not prepared when his lips touch mine. I’m not prepared for the heat, for the burn. I’m not prepared for the way my belly drops and clenches at the same time.

It’s like I’m on a roller coaster, and I’m only now realizing I don’t have a seatbelt.

His mouth moves over mine, commanding me. Demanding—everything. And I deny him nothing as he invades.

This man—this kiss—is everything I’ve ever wanted, ever fantasized about, compressed into one earth-shattering moment that I never want to end.

I can’t think. I can hardly breathe.

He’s overwhelming my senses.

My body feels like it’s on fire.

His mouth on mine isn’t gentle. It’s not hesitant or questioning or even exploratory.

It’s commanding and demanding. It’s insistent and possessive.

It’s fire, and I’m scorched.

He’s stealing my air, kissing me so deeply I fear he might just touch my very soul. I should fight him. I should push away. I should run.

Because this is too much, too intense. It’s more than I bargained for when I touched my hand to his face. He is more than I bargained for.

But I don’t run.

Instead, I feel myself pushing up onto my knees, pushing into him.

My hand is no longer on his face. Because it’s around the back of his neck. My arms are around his broad shoulders, and his hand has moved from the side of my neck to my waist. His arm is a band around my body, and he’s pulling me up against him, pulling me up off the floor.

I’m in the chair with him now, my chest crushed against his, my knees on either side of his waist.

I don’t really know how I got here, but it feels so good. His mouth on mine, his tongue against mine.

He tastes like wine, and smoke, and fire, and snow…

He’s everything hot and cold, demanding and insistent.

He’s everything—everything I’ve ever wanted all wrapped up in this complex, beautiful, damaged, dark package.

This man, this kiss—is everything.

Nick moves his hand from the back of my head down my back to settle on my butt, the warmth of his palm through the flannel pajamas scorches my skin in the most delicious way. I want to feel him skin to skin, and yet I’m content with this. I don’t know if I’m ready to move on from this moment, to move forward.

Still, I’m intoxicated by him. I can’t stop, and when he pushes down on my hips, I feel his desire for me. Long and hard and insistent at my core. Need moves through me like a tsunami, wrecking my insides, challenging my will to hold back. I’m so aroused, it hurts.

His hunger is demanding as he kisses me with the desperate need of a starving man. He’s feasting on me. Devouring every moan, every sigh. He’s incinerating my hesitation with every swipe of his tongue against mine, with every touch of his hand on my body. Still, this is too fast—too much.

I don’t have the experience he thinks I have.

He moves his hand from my butt to the hem of my shirt, slipping it under to touch my skin. My breath catches, because his skin against my skin is rough. Tingles rocket through me, and he deepens the kiss, his rough hand moving across my skin, featherlight.

He’s the hard to my soft, my opposite. The gloomy to my sunshine. The dark to my light.

One could say that we don’t match, that we are so opposite, we can’t possibly exist together. Not happily, anyway. But I think we’re the perfect pair. We complement each other perfectly; two halves of a coin. Night and day. We each offer the other what we don’t have ourselves.

Maybe Lucy was onto something when she chose me for him, when fate chose me for him. Because it wasn’t normal that day, for me to be scrolling and come across her ad. It wasn’t normal for me to answer.

I mean, who does that? I don’t do that. That wasn’t me that day. It was something else. Something stronger, guiding me to her, and in turn to him. To Nick.

The material of my shirt bunches as his hand continues to move up.

That rocketing tingle shoots straight to my heart. I feel my heart leap in my chest, and I swallow hard tucking my face into his neck.

I moan, “Nick, wait.”

His hand stills against my skin, his body tight under mine.

I can feel his heart hammering against my chest, violent. His breath is hard and heavy against my ear. He’s not pushing, he’s just waiting for me, giving me time with my hands on his broad shoulders. I push up on his chest, and I can’t help but think he is even more beautiful. Just kissed Nick, is beautiful.

And his hair is messed, wild. I didn’t realize, but I must have run my fingers through it.

That’s how crazy he makes me.I don’t remember running my hands through his hair because everything was all sensation all at once. All amazing.

His eyes search mine, the dark an explosion of night and feeling and heady desire. I feel heat touch my skin. I’m embarrassed. I’m still aroused. I’m so many things…

“That was amazing,” I say softly.

His Adam’s apple dips with a swallow, and his eyes search mine. There’s still hunger. It’s simmering below the surface. But I know he won’t push me. I know I’m safe. Probably apart from my father’s arms, his arms are the safest I’ve ever been in.

The thought, the realization, rockets through my soul—settling in the core of me.

“Are you okay?” Nick asks. His voice is smooth in the silence between us. It breaks through heavy breaths, and at the sound, at the tender care in his words, I smile. And then, shyly, I nod.

“I’m okay. I’m more than okay.” The smile grows on my face. “That was amazing. Best Kiss,” I whisper, “Ever.”

His eyes move between mine, and I think maybe he doesn’t believe me. I think he’s searching for something. Searching for a lie.

Pity, maybe?

He won’t find it. Whatever it is he’s looking for to ruin this, he won’t find it. Not in me.

Because I want him to know I didn’t stop the kiss out of regret, I lean forward to rest my head against his shoulder. He’s warm, and even though he’s hard, built like a boulder, I’m comfortable here in his lap against his chest.

He’s hesitant at first, but not for long. As his arms close around my body, holding me, his woodsy scent surrounds me. The scent of him overwhelms and comforts me.

I could stay here against him forever, my legs parted over his waist and my heart beating against his chest.

This moment is beautiful, and I think that nothing can pierce it. Inside this mountain fortress of timber and stone, we’re alone in this great big world. I’ve never felt safer than I do in this moment, against this hard man.

I close my eyes, and I let myself enjoy it. I take in this moment.

It’s as I rest against this man with his strong arms holding me close, that I realize with a jolt of bittersweet pain that cuts through my heart—this is exactly what Mom wanted for me.

This—what I have here with Nick—it has the potential to grow into something extraordinary.

It could grow into everything.

“You’re quiet.”

“So are you,” I return.

“But you’re never quiet.”

I snuggle deeper into him, unable to help my smile. “I feel peaceful right now.”

“Peaceful,” he parrots, like he’s testing out the word. The meaning.

“Mmhmm,” I confirm. “Peaceful.” Lifting my head from his shoulder, I look into his eyes. “What do you feel?”

There’s that hunger again. It flashes in his eyes like a lightning bolt, hot and powerful.

He clears his throat, not giving me the answer I want as he rumbles, “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I probably shouldn’t have done that. Kissed you like that.”

“Why not?”

His eyes search mine again, and there’s so much uncertainty in this big, rough man. So much self-doubt. Like he’s waiting for the shoe to drop. For the glass floor he’s standing on to give way.

“Did you want it? The kiss?”

“Nick,” I breathe his name incredulously. “If I didn’t want it, I wouldn’t have kissed you back.”

This answer seems to surprise and please him. Still, I lean forward and touch my mouth to his. I can feel his hunger simmering below the surface. A beast desperate to claim, but he holds back.

He doesn’t deepen the kiss. He doesn’t take control.

He lets me kiss him, and he kisses me back gently. Even though I can feel an urgency simmering below the surface, he’s keeping it restrained for me.

When I pull away, I feel a blush staining my cheeks. “I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you too, Sunshine.”

Sunshine. Again, I snuggle into his chest and we’re quiet as we listen to the storm rage, cocooned by the warmth of the fire in the stove.

And I know with a certainty I’ll always know that I am safe with this man.

Safe in his arms in his home. As long as he’s here, I want to be here too.

It’s been twenty-four hours. I never knew, never believed it was possible to start falling so fast. I should have known better. Look what happened to Mom and Dad.

A girl’s trip to Arizona.

A love to last a lifetime.