Chapter 19

19

DEREK

S eeing her drop like that was terrifying. One second, she was chatting with Ally, amiably talking and smiling, and the next she looked like she had seen a ghost and fell. Or, maybe more accurately, had heard a ghost.

I held up one finger to my brothers and turned to her. Ally looked up at me, clearly alarmed. I nodded at her, and she darted into the kitchen, presumably to grab a glass of water. I jogged over to Jodi, kneeling in front of her, and picked her chin up with the tips of my fingers. She looked at me, but her eyes were wide and held an expression I knew too well. She was scared as hell.

Ally came back with a glass of water as I listened to my brothers resume murmuring. They weren’t sure what to make of any of this, but they had things to discuss. They went back to speaking, but it was hushed, like they were listening to hear something from us. They wanted to know what was going on too.

My head throbbed as I ran the thoughts through my mind. Of course. That made so much sense. I could see it now. Kneeling down in front of her, I made sure not to break eye contact. I wanted her to focus on me, to keep her focused and thinking about what could calm her. What could make this okay.

I heard Alex behind me clear his throat. The room had gone silent.

“Prince Industries?” I asked.

She nodded.

“It’s one of our contacts,” Alex said. “Really good price for us from them. I did some negotiating when Cam was out. Sorry, Cam.”

“No worries,” Cam said. “I trust you. Who did you talk to?”

“Real nice fella. Said he could cut us a good deal. A guy named Jack Prince.”

I looked deep into her eyes as she nodded again. Then her eyes shut tightly.

Fuck.

I stood, making my way back to my brothers. They looked curiously from Jodi to me. I held up my palm and nodded, mouthing that it was fine. They knew and I knew that it was a lie. There was no getting around the fact that something was clearly wrong, but none of us really wanted to alert Jodi or make it worse. Ally stood beside her, rubbing her back.

“I think,” I said, “I should get out of here.”

“We still have a few more things to talk about,” Noah said. “We need your input.”

I grumbled as I leaned over the table toward him.

“Look, I need to go,” I said. “Whatever you guys decide, I am with you on, okay?”

“Are you sure you want to just give us blanket permission like that?” he asked, his mouth curling up in a grin. Weeks of bickering over the size of and amenities in the kitchen ran through both of our minds, and I saw the flicker of laughter on his lips.

“Once,” I said. “Just this one time. Use it wisely.”

He nodded.

“Alright, man. I won’t decide to downsize your kitchen or anything. Get out of here,” he said.

Nodding, I stood back up.

“Noah has my vote on anything that comes up. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I said, brushing by them before they could object. As I reached Jodi, I took her by the elbow. She came willingly but seemed like she was walking through mud, unaware of what she was doing. Ally handed me the glass as I walked by her, but she stayed in the tasting room. I got Jodi into the kitchen where we were at least temporarily alone and spun around so I could face her.

It was my safe spot. The kitchen was the one place that was my sanctuary. Even Ally would leave me alone here if she thought I needed it. Clearly, she did at the moment. In a nook of the kitchen where I often kept a small glass and a bottle of whiskey in case I needed a drink during a stressful service, I waited on Jodi to speak. But she stayed quiet, and I began to get impatient. I didn’t want to push her, but I had to figure out what was going on in her head.

I searched my mind for what I could say, what I could ask without making her more upset. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was really only one approach to all of this. Everything from what was happening right now to the overall problem. Directness. Addressing things head-on with no ambiguity. That was the only way forward.

“Well,” I asked, “what do you want to do?” I took a deep breath. “Are you leaving?”

I hated even asking that question. I didn’t want her to go. More than anything ever, I didn’t want her to go. It had only been a few weeks, but I was hopelessly attached to her. Our evening routine from the night before was something I wanted to keep doing for as long as possible. Our comfort with one another, the domesticity of our time together away from the restaurant, it was all so… perfect.

Enough of that time together and I could see myself falling for her. Enough time together like that and I could see joining my brothers in the special club they ribbed me about not being in. The one Noah and Alex and Kane had joined. The one that at thirty-two, everyone seemed to feel like I should have joined already. But I had been waiting. Waiting for the right person.

My mind fought the finality of what came next. But it was losing. The right person had to come along eventually. Why couldn’t it be her?

I watched her eyes as they searched the floor at her feet. She was thinking. Deciding. And in that decision was my hopes for her to stay. My hopes for what I thought might be my immediate future. Our immediate future.

“I don’t want to leave,” she said. “I really don’t. I like it here. I am enjoying…” She took a moment, looking up into my eyes, seemingly searching for the right words. “Spending time with you,” she finished. She swallowed hard, seeming to gauge my reaction. I nodded.

“Me too,” I said. “I am enjoying it a lot too.”

She nodded, relief seeming to come over her a bit.

“Maybe,” she muttered, her eyes falling back down to the floor as if a sudden thought occurred. “Maybe…”

“Maybe what?” I asked.

“I don’t know that if Jack did find me that he would tell my parents,” she said. “I assumed he would, but he’s my brother. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he would take pity on me.”

“Pity?”

“We were always close,” she said. “He, if anyone, understands what is going on with them. I honestly don’t know who he sides with, but there’s a chance he sides with me.”

I sighed.

“How long can you go on living like this?” I asked. “Running all the time. Hiding. It’s insane.”

“I only need one more year.”

I cocked my head to the side and stared at her. She didn’t seem to want to elaborate, but I needed more information than that. I waited and when she said nothing, I figured I was going to have to drag it out of her like I did just about everything else.

“One more year?” I asked. “Why one year?”

“My trust fund,” she said. “Once I hit twenty-five, it’s mine. I can do with it what I want, regardless of what they say. Then I can do wherever I want for however long I want, and they can’t say anything. Even better yet, I wouldn’t have to hide at all. I would have my money. They couldn’t lord anything over me anymore.”

“Ah,” I said.

It was complicated. Everything about Jodi seemed complicated. Yet, I was drawn to her, drawn to helping her solve these problems. But now things were starting to make a lot more sense.

She looked up from the ground, her eyes big and full of tears breaking at the corners. They were threatening to cascade down her cheeks, and who knew when they would ever stop. She was so used to living in fear that terror was her natural state. Tears came with it.

A fire burned in my belly at that thought. I hated that she ever had to fear anything. That this girl, this sweet, wonderful girl, would ever have to run from her own family pissed me off to no end. I wanted to protect her. To make sure she knew that there was someone who cared for her, unconditionally. That person was me.

“What should I do?” she nearly sobbed.

I looked around to make sure we were truly alone. No one else should hear her cry. If anyone was going to hear it, it would be me. But I was going to do everything I could to wipe those tears and make sure she never had to suffer them again.

“You stand tall,” I said. “No more running.”

She looked at me through tear-soaked eyes, droplets tumbling down her cheeks as she blinked at me confused. I stood firm, my jaw set.

“What?” she asked.

“You’ve run long enough,” I said. “You’re an adult. And I will back you up. We will back you up. You stand up straight, and if they come, they come.”

There was a moment where she just stared at me. Her eyes read my expression like a book in a foreign language. I knew it had to be hard for her. She had spent so much time hiding that the very idea of facing it down had to seem daunting and overwhelming. How could I convince her it was the only way? They would never leave her alone. She had to show them that she wasn’t afraid anymore. That she wasn’t going to just bend to their will because it was theirs.

Slowly, a change came over her. I watched it happen before my eyes and stood in awe of it. This pitiful girl, her body bent and curled in on herself, making herself as small as possible, began to change. She had spent so long making herself small, making herself invisible. The tears still came, but there was no more pinching in her eyes. They narrowed and focused. They were the eyes of a woman who had heard the truth and accepted it.

Her back straightened. She stood as tall as she could, which was still several inches shorter than me. It would be comical if it weren’t for the ferocity in her stance. It was awe-inspiring, this sudden change coming over her. She thrust out her chin and nodded, her fists clenching into little balls and hanging by her sides.

“You’re right,” she said. “No more running.”

Her voice cracked as she said it, a sign that it was hard for her to say. But the truth often was. Especially truth you knew deep down inside yourself but didn’t want to acknowledge. Truth that forced you to do something hard. Something seemingly impossible.

I nodded back and wondered if she meant it. By her body language, she certainly seemed like she did. She looked like a woman ready for a fight, ready to face anyone who told her who she should be and tell them which bridge to jump off of. But was it real?

I certainly hoped so. I wanted her to stay. And I knew the only way she was going to stay was if she embraced the idea that she was going to have to face off with her family. There was no need to go find them, but if they found her, so be it. She could handle it. Especially with us by her side.

Especially with me by her side.

If she wanted me.