10. Jake: Memories I Need to Forget

Chapter ten

Jake – Memories I Need to Forget

I can’t help but get lost in the rivers of memory. Sophia used to be a big part of my life. Granted, she wasn’t special to me from the very beginning. To me, she was Bella’s best friend, and I used to see her as another little sister—just how I see Bella. I never really noticed her until their first year of college. I had just finished college then and was learning the ropes in dad’s company.

Bella had invited me to Sophia’s surprise birthday party, and I had no reason not to go. She was my sister’s best friend, who stood by her all through their high school days. Never deserted her or used her for her money or her rich background. On more than one occasion, Bella told me Sophia would never accept anything from her, but Sophia would gift her regularly.

She was soft-spoken, shy, and would only smile if I said hi to her when she came over to swim or hang out with Bella. I had gone to the birthday party that day, and on my way up to the apartment they’d rented together in college, I met the most stunning woman I’ve ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on. I hadn’t recognized her then. We really hit it off and we got off the elevator together, making small talk.

Not until I got hit with yells of surprise and confetti did I realize it was Sophia. She had looked back at me and smiled enchantingly as if to say I was the surprised one that night, not her. I found myself glued to her side that night, and the rest was history.

Going to that birthday party became the worst mistake of my life. If I could go back in time to rectify that, I would have chosen knitting quilts with grannies in a retirement home.

The signs were there, the red flags flapped at me. But I’d always forgive, forget, and sweep everything under the carpet. I saw what I wanted to see, felt what I wanted to feel. I was irrevocably in love with her, and she knew it, she savored it, and she turned it into her greatest ammunition against me.

And every single time, she’d come back shedding tears. She knew my weakness for her tears, and she used it every single time she came back, asking forgiveness for what she called a ‘tiny’ breach of faithfulness that will “never happen again, I swear.” And it always worked. I realized it at some point, yet it still worked every time she used it against me.

I had tried holding on to what we had, with the rope of our connection totally severed from her side. Yet I kept on going, thinking I could love enough for two. But it doesn’t work that way. It never works that way. I lost myself. I forgot who I was, almost becoming her puppet .

I was able to climb out of the deep, dark hole where she had left me. I’ll forever be grateful to my supportive parents and cousin, Dylan. He had taken my place temporarily in the office, and dad had given me all the time I needed to heal.

My parents were never the clichéd cold and rich people who like to feast on their children’s happiness. We were very wealthy and happy, and we were never raised as spoiled brats.

I had just climbed out of that dark hole where Sophia had left me to rot and had offered to manage our new office out here in Birchwood, leaving my cousin in the city in dad’s company. Not many people would do that, but Dylan is practically like a child to my parents. Being orphaned at the age of four, he lived and grew up with us.

And he never misses any opportunity to appreciate my parents. He had wanted to come to Birchwood to oversee the new office, but my mother had agreed the town’s ‘air’ would do me a whole lot of good.

Now, this has to happen. I’ll be seeing Sophia again in three months, and I have no choice but to agree to it. I don’t want to hurt Bella’s feelings. But knowing Sophia, she won’t miss the opportunity to sink her talons into my heart again. And no, I’m not being a narcissist or thinking I am that important to her to want me back. She’s sick like that.

Everything is a mind game to her, and she gets a sick thrill from it. Honestly, I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t have some boy candy on her arm when she shows up. I used to be one of them as well. The thought hits me bitterly.

I can’t let that happen. I don’t know how, but I need to protect myself from her. And yes, I’m man enough to admit that I’m not completely healed or immune to her charms and the tears.

Feeling the oncoming of a headache, I open the bottom drawer of my office desk and bring out some aspirin.

My phone rings and I see the letters, “Mom,” flashing on the screen, and I feel a little better. I have always been close to my mother, and she knows how to best console me over anything.

“Jakey!” I cringed at the nickname and laughed. Leave it to my mother to call an adult, ‘Jakey.’ I instantly feel better, imagining her sweet, reassuring smile and her soft, floral perfume.

“How have you been, mom? How are dad and Dylan?”

“We’re all good, Jake. I’m guessing Bella called you already?” she asks, in a cautious voice, tinged with pity.

I sigh and massage my temples, the weight of my conversation with Bella slamming me with tension again.

“Yes, mom. She called me already. And I know she put you up to this call too. Tell Bells I’m fine with Sophia coming to the wedding. She shouldn’t have to feel this way about her best friend attending her wedding, or even being the bridesmaid.”

“You know your sister well, Jake,” she says while laughing, and then continues. “I am so surprised to hear you are cool about this situation. I didn’t know you’d ever agreed to be Ethan’s groomsman, knowing you’ll have to partner with Sophia at all the rehearsals and all. You know, she is the bridesmaid, naturally, as Bells’ best friend.”

Back up there a minute. “What are you talking about, mom?” Ice and fire course through my veins, making me feel extremely hot and cold at the same time .

A big rock settles in my stomach and tiny bits lodge in my throat. I clear my throat to speak again, but I can’t. Pushing up, I walk to my office’s mini fridge to grab a bottle of cold water, drinking it in huge, rapid gulps. Undoing my tie and flinging it on the couch, I sit at the edge of the table, trying to breathe deeply.

“Jake, are you alright? I thought you knew, honey. Didn’t Bella tell you already?” Mom says over the phone, her voice laced with panic and fear.

Mom is the only one I ever told about what had actually transpired between Sophia and me. She had seen me at my worst, spiraling beyond control. She had taken my hand and pulled me out of the darkness, inch by inch.

“I’m fine, mom, I’m fine.” I cough out the invincible rock particles in my throat, sounding hoarse.

So, this is why Bells had laughed weirdly. I should have known. She knew Mom would tell me and that’s why Mom’s calling me a few minutes after my conversation with Bella. I had to grin, despite the stress I’m feeling. My little sister getting mischievous is not something I thought I’d ever see.

“We could tell Bells the truth. She’d understand you, Jake. Your sister loves you, and you know that. You don’t have to go through with this, honey. Bella is stronger than you give her credit for, and you can’t protect her from all the bad people in the world. She doesn’t see the world in rainbows and butterflies anymore. She’s not a kid.”

No. Even if I were to tell Bella the truth, it shouldn’t be now, won’t be now, not when she needs her best friend at her wedding. Not now. Not ever. I will protect my sister as long as I can, as much as I can.

“That won’t be necessary, Mom. I’ve got a girlfriend, and I don’t think she’d be cool with another woman hanging on her man’s hand for his sister’s wedding.”

There was a pause at the other end of the line. A very pregnant, very disbelieving pause.

“Jacob? You’ve got a new girlfriend?” I wince at the use of my actual name. “Yes, mom. She’s beautiful, nice, and smart. You’ll love her.”

“How long has this relationship been going on, Jacob?” I can feel the perspiration growing on my forehead.

Mom knows how to sniff out a lie, and when she does, she never stops grilling you until she purges the truth out of you.

“Why don’t I tell you all about her over a date, mom? My treat. This coming Saturday, you might actually get to meet her.”

I grin to myself. Mom never travels without dad and as far as I know, dad will be going on a business trip that same Saturday. I breathe a sigh of relief, expecting her to tell me to reschedule, or to say she’d meet her some other time.

“That will be perfect! I’ll come along with Bells. She misses you. I miss you too, honey. And I’ve been dying to see your new place and the charming little town. See you then!”

And the line goes dead. Wait, what just happened? I feel like a total idiot. The lie has totally backfired. Since when has dad started traveling without mom by his side? Is he not traveling again? I want to pull my hair in frustration. This is very bad. I hear my phone ring again, and I do actually pull my hair in frustration when I see that it’s Mom again.

“What is it, mom?” I sigh, clenching and unclenching my fist. Hope is budding in my chest, hoping she’s changed her mind.

“Where are you?” she asks suspiciously.

I roll my eyes, definitely not a change of heart. “I’m in the office. Just getting some things done.”

She scoffs and blows out a sigh. “Who goes to work on a Sunday? Jake, just live a little! Bye now!”

I glance at my phone, the line going dead for the second time. I shake my head. She seriously called back to ask that? That isn’t even the issue here.

I have to introduce a girl I’m supposedly in love with to mom and Bella, and I’ve got just a week to do that. Just great!