Chapter 21

Twenty-One

SARA

Tom triedto go in for a deeper kiss, but I swatted him away. My makeup looked flawless and I didn’t want him smudging my lipstick. I needed to look the part of Tom’s perfect arm candy. I could only imagine the scores of pretty women looking to snatch a handsome billionaire tonight, and even though Tom had gone out of his way to make me feel beautiful, my confidence was still shaky. After the accident, I wasn’t the same. Though subtle, there were things I noticed, even if others didn’t. My gait was slightly off balance, which was why I was clumsy on my feet. My muscles were stiff in certain areas, and there was a scar near the top of my hairline that I always managed to hide with hair or coverup. I doubted Tom had even noticed.

But it didn’t matter if he never took note of these little imperfections. I knew they were there, and they always fucked with my head.

“Let’s hit the road,” he said, taking my hand in his.

He took me through the garage, and when he flicked the lights on, my eyes widened at the sight. A Maserati Gran Cabrio convertible sat parked inside, the metallic, ocean-blue exterior glimmering under the fluorescent lights.

I stood speechless at the entrance of the garage.

Tom gingerly opened the passenger door, waiting for me to enter. “Sara?”

“I thought you told me you didn’t own a sports car?” I said as I walked toward him.

“Um, not entirely. What I said was I didn’t have to always drive one just because I could. That didn’t mean I didn’t own one. Plus, you didn’t really think I’d take my girlfriend anywhere—looking like a million bucks—in anything other than a sexy sports car, now did you?”

When he popped into the driver seat, I turned to him. “Girlfriend?”

“Well, that is, if you say yes?”

“You mean exclusively?”

“What other kind is there?”

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t.”

I wanted to shout yes at the top of my lungs, but I turned into an ice cube. Tom stared at me for a long minute before venting his frustration in one solid breath. He ran his hands through his hair. “Listen, I know I kind of sprang this on you, so you don’t have to answer me right now. Just think about it, okay?”

I nodded. “Tom, it’s not that I don’t want to…I just…it’s so sudden…”

He brushed his knuckles across my cheek. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“No. You don’t. What I mean to say is…it’s so sudden and so soon, but it couldn’t feel more perfect.”

He took my hand in his and kissed me, and with his hot breath still on my lips, he uttered, “So, how ’bout we go for that ride, baby?”

The car sprung to life as the engine purred beneath the hood. The garage door opened and we spilled out onto the pavement. That morning, I’d thought Tom fit perfectly into the surfer mold, but watching him handle the wheel of the Maserati had me second guessing myself. Sexy was an understatement. The speed and sensuality of the car’s roar when Tom sped us down the highway made me blush. Shit. This man was too fucking hot. And apparently, he was now my boyfriend.

Had I bagged Mr. Iced Double? How did this even happen?

I said yes without giving it too much thought. Had he really swept me up with his dashing good looks, lavish gifts, and his fancy sports car?

No. What I was feeling for Tom was real and went beyond any of the superficial or material things. It was his thoughtfulness and tenderness. It was the gentleness of his touch and the hidden desire behind each kiss. It was the way he looked at me with such adoration. Like I was the only woman for him, and he would move mountains to make me happy.

No one had ever made me feel this way, and I was drunk on it, ready for another shot.

The heat on my face was an indicator of my fevered thoughts and I couldn’t wait to be done with this dumb party we were going to and be back at his house instead, ripping each other’s clothes off and pretty much fucking all night long until my pussy hurt and my legs gave out.

* * *

We arrived at Jake’s party a little after eleven. The place pumped to the sounds of a club remix. I didn’t see anybody I particularly recognized, but it was pretty obvious the prerequisites to attend this party included: a) having a lot of money, and b) being inhumanly good looking, just as I’d expected. Bobbing and weaving through the sea of gyrating torsos, Tom led me to the VIP lounge area where he expected to find Jake. As we approached, heads pivoted in our direction. Women lit up and tucked their hair behind their ears as their gazes lingered on Tom, completely ignoring the fact he was with me. I should have walked prouder, but my confidence wavered a wee bit. Standing in a room full of supermodels was downright intimidating.

As we neared a large white leather sectional, a man sitting in between two gorgeous Eurasian looking women waved us over. He immediately rose to greet us, leaving the two women under his arms on the couch. “Bruh, you made it!” he said to Tom as they shared a man-hug.

He was a little shorter than Tom, and had a thick mop of curly, dark brown hair. His blue eyes twinkled brightly underneath beautifully sculpted dark eyebrows. His blue, silk suit did little to hide his muscled body. Jake was exceptionally good looking, but he gave off a sinister vibe that rolled off his shoulders, like a menacing energy that lurked behind his easy smile. My body shuddered when he shook my hand.

“Jake,” Tom said, “this is Sara…Sara, Jake.”

He smiled crookedly. “This is the famous Sara?” He eyed me head to toe, the cold gaze of his blue eyes leaving icicles on my skin.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Jake,” I replied.

“Likewise. I’ve heard so much about you. You are as beautiful as Tom described.” His sly smile made me cringe.

“It’s a great party,” I said, shifting the attention.

“Please, make yourselves at home. Let me get you something to drink.”

Tom grabbed Jake by the arm. “I’ll take care of it. You guys get to know each other.”

When Tom left to get my drink, both Jake and I noted the awkward space between us.

He turned to face me. “So, Sara. What hotel are you staying at?”

“Actually, I’m staying with Tom.”

“In L.A.?” he asked, his brows knitting to a tight pinch.

“Santa Monica.”

“You mean the beach house?” he asked, incredulous.

I couldn’t understand his confusion. “You seem surprised.”

“I was simply not expecting that,” he chuckled with little amusement.

“Expecting what, exactly?”

He took a couple of steps closer and leaned in toward my ear. “The thing is, sweetheart, Tom never brings girls he’s fucking home. Guess you must be more than his typical hook-up. Consider yourself special.”

My bones splintered. Was he fucking kidding me?

Embarrassed, I felt heat rise to my cheeks. Is that what I was? A girl he was fucking? Is that what he’d told Jake about me? I didn’t know what to say to this guy. Any other day I would’ve had something witty to say. I would’ve put the damn asshole in his place for disrespecting me like that, but I simply froze. It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t stand up to the prick, but the fact he made me feel like I wasn’t special at all. I was just another girl in Tom’s collection of girls he fucked.

My heart cracked and I hated myself in that instant for allowing myself to dream. For allowing myself to believe that true love existed. That perhaps I could live in a fairytale and have my prince. I was such an idiot. And the fact I permitted myself to be duped by all the magic of Tom’s bullshit, infuriated me as much as it hurt me.

I turned from Jake without bothering to say excuse me, and pushed through the thick crowd of impossibly beautiful people. My body turned to stone when I caught sight of Tom standing by the bar.

He wasn’t alone.

Perched on six-inch stilettos, next to him stood a gorgeous redhead. Her fiery, silky curls cascaded down to her lower back. Dressed in a form-fitting, black cocktail dress, her outrageous curves screamed sex goddess. She was practically draped over Tom and I was about ready to go punch a hole through her face. The closer I neared, the hotter my blood raged. I hadn’t felt this kind of jealousy in a long time, and I was about to lose it.

The intense possessiveness inside me was unnerving. It wasn’t just that this other woman was flirting with him, it was the way she looked at him. I knew that look because that’s how I looked at him—in awe and total fascination. The woman was clearly head over heels in love with him.

They shared an intimate laugh and their proximity to each other brought me close to an eruption. What enraged me even more was Tom’s nonchalance about the whole thing. He was so comfortable with her. Were they close friends or perhaps, something more?

I was ready to interrupt their private conversation, but I lost my nerve. Who was I? What right did I have to demand explanations? Watching their intimate conversation with each other, made me feel insignificant. They looked perfect together. She resembled a celebrity standing on top of the world, and I was an ex-contemporary dancer with broken dreams, dressed in a designer gown I could never afford.

I was a phony. How could I’ve ever believed a man like him could ever want a girl like me? Oh God. I sounded so pathetic. I felt ashamed and foolish. I didn’t belong in some high-rise, Hollywood party with a man clearly out of my league. As I started to turn back around to walk away, Tom caught me in his gaze.

Stars. The way he lit up when he saw me stopped me dead in my tracks. I could never escape him, not when he looked at me like I was the only woman in the world. Why did he have to be so good at his game? Why did he have to make me believe that this could all be real and that we could be together? He reached out with his hand and gestured for me to join them.

Powerless against his charm, I obliged. He grabbed me by the wrist and drew me in close, wrapping his arm around my waist and planting a soft kiss on my neck. “Here she is. Tiff, this is Sara.”

Tiff? As in Tiffany? The personal assistant aka close friend?

Gravity pulled the blood from my head straight to my feet.

“Sara, meet Tiffany, my personal assistant,” he said while wrapping his arms tighter around my waist. I stretched out my hand to greet this woman, but all I really wanted to do was run. Tom may have been oblivious to it, but I sure as hell wasn’t. Women can sense when another woman is trotting on our territory, and this one was stepping a bit too close for comfort.

“Nice to meet you, Tiffany.”

“Same,” she replied coolly, but I knew it was a lie. She probably guessed the identical sentiment from me. Our grip tightened, both of us wanting to stake our ground.

“Where’s Jake?” Tom asked.

I shrugged, not interested in talking about that dickhead. “Where’s my drink?” I asked, needing something strong to take off the edge.

“Oh, right. Sorry. Got sidetracked. Tiff was telling me about one of our clients who apparently has been trying to hunt me down. Mrs. Westinghouse seems determined to meet me in person. It’s why I try to avoid these social events.”

“Mrs. Westinghouse,” Tiffany added, “is a well-respected philanthropist. She’s been looking to move to Malibu for years, but could never find the right home. She’s a very eccentric woman with distinct tastes. One of our agents found her the perfect home, but the clients couldn’t agree on a price. Mrs. Westinghouse wasn’t about to walk away without this historic mansion, but she wasn’t willing to pay a single penny more than she had already offered. It was a tough deal, but Tom worked his magic and closed the sale in thirty days and even managed to save her a few million. This would never be her type of venue, but she was adamant to meet our Tom, the man who got her the home of her dreams.” She flashed Tom a crooked grin accompanied by a light squeeze to his arm.

“Of course, who wouldn’t want to meet our Tom,” I replied, smiling and looking at Tom. “So how about that drink, baby?” I reminded him.

Tom released his arm from around my waist and turned to find the dancing bartender behind the bar who was expertly flipping bottles to impress the hordes of women spilling over the counter trying to catch a glimpse of his show.

Tiffany wasted no time dropping the nice act. “You chose the white one.”

My brow creased with confusion. “Excuse me?”

“The dress. Safe choice.”

“Safe choice?”

“A bit muted. Not too flashy or overly sexy. Fits you, I guess.”

“Well, you know Tom. He prefers classy over slutty,” I said, eyeing her dress. I had no clue if that was even true, but who cared? The viper wanted to show me her fangs? I could show her mine.

She pressed her lips into a tight line and gave me a murderous look. Victory flamed in my veins, and before she could reply, Tom returned with my drink.

“Any sign of Mrs. Westinghouse?” Tom asked Tiffany.

“Haven’t seen her,” she replied dryly.

“Well, I’m not sticking around here long. We’ll probably be heading out in a bit, so if you see her, tell her I’ll give her a call first thing tomorrow morning.”

Tiffany stood stiff as a board with her arms crossed over her chest, plumping her already generous bosom. I gently whispered in Tom’s ear about wanting to dance. Happy to leave her presence, as Tom led me to the dance floor, I glanced back over my shoulder, smiling with triumph, a glint of dark glee in my eyes. Tiffany’s flaming face assured me she was ready to jump out of her own skin with anger. Good. Welcome to the club.

Trying to forget everything Tom’s tactless friend had said, I gyrated against Tom’s hot body, deliberately showing off my best moves in a juvenile attempt to make Ms. Flaming Face a bit more jealous. The problem was, I couldn’t pull Jake’s words out of my head. How many girls did Tom bring to Los Angeles? And how many did he set up in hotels? The thought made my head spin. Not to mention my interaction with Tiffany left me uneasy.

I couldn’t concentrate on the music or dance steps. My body felt stiff as a board and I pulled away, walking toward the exit. Tom followed after me until we reached the elevators. “What’s the matter, Sara?” he asked, grabbing my wrist.

Not meeting his eyes, I kept my gaze trained on the floor. He tipped my chin up. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Despite all the nonsense around us, he was still so attuned to me. It filled me with hope. Perhaps what we had was real. There was only one way to find out. “Can we get out of here?”

“Are you not feeling well?”

“I don’t know. I’m not feeling the vibe. If you want to stay I can take a cab back to your house.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not staying here without you.” When the elevator doors opened, we hurried inside and rode it down in pure silence. Once in the garage, we waited for the valet.

As we drove through the late-night traffic of Hollywood’s streets, I turned to him. “We were barely there for an hour. You didn’t even say goodbye to Jake.”

“He’ll survive. I don’t like those parties anyway, so I’m happy we left. Right now, I’m concerned about you.” He waited for a reply, but I struggled for the right words.

“Sara, are you going to tell me what happened back there?”

“Tom, why did you invite me here?”

“To the party?”

“No. California.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t we trying to get to know each other better?”

“Tom,” I said more firmly, “why did you ask me to stay with you at your house?”

He let go of my hand. “I was clear about how I felt. I asked you to be my girlfriend tonight.”

“Jake told me.”

“Told you what?”

“About the hotels…the girls…he thought I was one of them.”

He didn’t take his eyes off the road and I sensed the increased tension as he gripped the steering wheel and the car sped faster.

“Apparently, he was shocked I was staying with you at your house since you never bring the girls you’re fucking home. He said I should feel special. So, am I?”

“Are you …?

“Special or as Jake said, just another girl you’re fucking.”

“From the tone in your voice, you seem to have your mind already made up.”

“I want to know the truth because I didn’t fly all the way out here to just be another notch on your headboard.

He snapped his head toward me, swerving as he took his eyes off the road. “A notch on my headboard? After opening my heart up to you?”

“I want to believe that what’s happening between is real but after what he said, after how he made me feel…”

“What about how I’ve made you feel? Does that mean nothing? You meet Jake once and all of a sudden his words have more validity than mine?”

“He’s your best friend. He knows you better than I do. Why would he say those things to me if he thought we were … more?”

“Jake’s an asshole. Regardless, the fact that after everything we’ve talked about, after I literally asked you to be my girlfriend, you still doubt my intentions…I don’t know. Maybe this whole thing is a big fucking mistake.”

Neither one of us uttered another word for the rest of the ride. For the first time since I met him, I thought I was sitting next to a stranger. When we arrived back at his house, he jumped out and rushed to open my door. He didn’t look at me as we walked back into his house. He thrust the door open and stormed in. He flicked the lights on and flung his keys onto the kitchen counter, and with his back to me, dropped his chin to his chest and placed his hands on his waist.

I approached him slowly. “All I did was ask a simple question. I felt like shit when your friend said those things to me. My blood literally drained from my head.”

“It wasn’t his place to speak to you like that, but that doesn’t give you the right to act like you have me all figured out. We barely know each other. Fuck. I only met you two weeks ago.”

I blinked several times “Wow. So, now I’m just some girl you met two weeks ago? Maybe Jake wasn’t so far off with his comments.” I clenched my jaw. “I should’ve never come here.”

“Sara.”

“I’m gonna grab my things. I’d rather stay at a hotel tonight than here with you.”

“Stay,” he said in his deep voice.

The word planted me where I stood, but I didn’t turn around. My eyes filled with tears, a river ready to crest. I couldn’t let him see what his words had done to me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”

With my back still to him, I stood in silence.

“Sara, please turn around,” he implored.

My mind begged me to run up the stairs to his room, pack my bags, and leave. But I was weak. Too goddamn weak. And my body refused to comply. The power of his voice disarmed me. “What is it?” I asked, turning around. “You’ve already made it perfectly clear you think this is all one big mistake.”

“That’s not true.”

“That’s what you said.”

“I was mad and I was an asshole for saying it. I didn’t mean it…you have to believe that.”

“I don’t know what to believe. One minute you are the most charming man in the world, the next you are speeding down the freaking highway and talking to me like I’m some chick you picked up off the street.”

“You have every right to be pissed at me.”

“I’m hurt, Tom.”

“Let me explain.”

“Explain what? I don’t even know if I care anymore. Right now, I want to get my things and go.”

“I’m not about to let you walk out of my life that easily. Not without you knowing the truth.”

“And what exactly is the truth?”

“Sara, up until two weeks ago, I was a different guy. I worked and then…I liked to have fun. I wasn’t interested in relationships. I wanted to have a good time and then come back to my place alone, where I’m able to unwind and just be me. Things were simple and uncomplicated and that’s the way I wanted it.”

“And now?”

“And now my world is all shades of fucked up, but I can’t imagine a world where you’re not in it.”

“And all of a sudden you are a changed man? You go from only being interested in hook ups to now you want to be in a relationship with a girl you only met two weeks ago?” I scoffed at him in disbelief.

“You’re gonna keep throwing my words back in my face? I told you I didn’t mean that.”

“Well, I guess words are hard to forget, especially when they jab you right in the chest.”

“I’m sorry. I was an asshole and I deserve that, but it doesn’t mean that what I’m telling you now is not true. Sara, you’re here. In my house. You are the first woman I’ve ever invited over. Christ, for the past two weeks, I’ve done things with you I haven’t done with anyone. I can’t imagine myself without you and that’s the fucking truth, whether you want to believe me or not.”

“And Tiffany, how does she fit into all of this?”

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “What does she have to do with anything?”

“I saw the way you two were with each other.”

Tom’s brow pinched. “What are you talking about?”

“She cares about you.”

“We’re friends. We’ve known each other for years and she’s my assistant.”

“I mean she really cares about you.”

“You’re threatened by her?”

I said nothing. There was no way I would admit that to him.

“She is just a friend who also happens to be my assistant. Nothing more,” he reaffirmed, as if he read the doubt circulating in my mind.

Did he really think I was that naive? “Two people like you can’t be just friends. You said you have never lied to me, so tell me, have you ever been more than just friends?”

He looked away from me. I knew it, but I needed to hear it from his lips. “Tom? Were you ever more than friends?”

“It was a long time ago, Sara. I don’t see her that way anymore.”

My heart stopped. I should have ended my questions there, but I couldn’t help myself. “What happened between you two?”

“Nothing happened. That’s the point. She wanted something I couldn’t give her. I could never be that guy for her.”

“So, you broke it off?”

“We were never really together, Sara.”

“Friends with benefits?”

“Why are you asking me these questions?”

“Well?”

“Fine. We fucked. Happy?”

Christ. I knew it’d sting, just not how badly. My blood sizzled at the thought of them together. Strong heavy breaths pushed in and out of my chest. I had asked the question. I had pushed him. Now I needed to deal with the aftermath.

He took a few steps toward me. “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I told you I wouldn’t lie to you. Tiffany is a great girl, but we would never last. She wasn’t the woman for me, and I certainly wasn’t good for her.”

I put a palm out to keep him from coming closer. “So, why did you stay friends?”

He stiffened at my gesture, but respected the silent request. “We are better at being friends. She is a great assistant and I know she needs the job. She was getting attached and if we continued messing around, she was only going to end up hurt. Eventually, we wouldn’t be able to work together and neither one of us wanted that. It was better that way.”

I couldn’t really process anything I was hearing. All I kept seeing in my head was the both of them tangled in sheets, naked. It was infuriating. My body could not handle all that emotion. My hands trembled. I knew there was no way Tiffany was ever going to be out of the picture. “I…don’t think I can share you with her.”

Before I had a chance to stop him, Tom walked over to me and took my face in his hands. He speared me with his gaze, and all I could see was a love and a devotion to me I could not explain. “Share me? Baby, look at me. I’m totally yours. Only yours. You aren’t sharing me with anybody.”

He crashed his lips into mine and instantly all my fears faded. I melted into his lips, welcoming his wet tongue into my mouth. He made me believe in him with every inch of my body. His love was fire and ice. We consumed each other’s breath until nothing was left. Anger, pain, frustration, lust, love—all melded together into pure heat. He was hard and panting, and I wanted him with such madness my heart ached.

Still, I wasn’t ready. I had so much to process, and Tiffany’s face was still too vibrant in my mind. The thought of them together haunted me. I needed to be alone to figure out what I wanted. Being so close to him clouded my mind. It took every ounce of my will to separate from his mouth. He held on to me; the fire inside him molten iron.

Eyes aflame with longing, he whispered, “I need you, baby.” He nibbled on my bottom lip as he kissed me again. He cradled my face in his hands as his tongue gently parted my lips. He took a few steps forward, forcing me to step back until I felt my spine press against a cold wall. Tom placed his hands on the wall, caging me with his arms. With gentle kisses, he began a slow and torturous downward trail down my neck. He kissed every inch of my skin until his lips met my collarbone and shoulders. My body was boneless. The muscled planes of his chest vibrated with carnal need. It was intoxicating. My body craved him like a flower hungering for the sun.

His hand crept up my thigh and dress. The heat of his skin caught me off guard, but it sent a jolt of pleasure to my core. Our lips found each other once more, and I knew it would lead me to an undeniable defeat. The thin fabric of my underwear was drenched by the time his hand found the center between my legs. When his breathing stopped, replaced by a moan, I knew he felt it too, how wet he made me. His deep growl rumbled in my chest, and it was all it took to undo me.

“Christ, baby,” he panted. “I want you so bad. I can take you right now. Just ask me to.” He rubbed and pressed on my mound so expertly with his hand, I was about to erupt. “Tell me you want it,” he pleaded as he spun me around, lifting my dress and sliding my thong down my legs.

My mind was lost.

He splayed his large hand on my back, making me arch as he bunched the dress up on my waist. Brushing his lips across my ear, he said, “Spread your legs. Tell me to fuck you, Sara. Tell me you want my cock inside you.” He slid his fingers between my pussy, and I couldn’t help arching more steeply, pushing my ass against his pelvis. He was still dressed, but I felt the hard ridge of this erection pressing on my backside.

All I desired in that moment was for him to make me his again, to feel his hardness sliding in and out of me, to feel him filling me and stretching me until it hurt.

Determined to get me to beg for his cock, he inserted his middle finger, finger-fucking me so good, I didn’t think I could spread my legs in this position any further. I gasped as he pressed on my G-spot. The touch almost incinerated me. I would have given myself wholly to him. There would have been no turning back.

While my body screamed at me to surrender, my mind refused to succumb. God, I wanted this man so bad it made me dizzy. But my heart wasn’t ready for what came next. For the fact that if I gave myself to him right now, it would mean I accepted his apology. That I accepted a relationship where his best friend thought I was just another fuck-girl, and his assistant who’d he’d been fuck buddies with still pined after him.

No. I needed time to think. To get my head on straight. To ensure my heart would be protected.

“Stop,” I said, the word tasting of ash on my tongue. I didn’t want him to stop, but I knew it was what we both needed. I wanted more than for him to fuck me. I wanted his heart. And I wanted him to be one million percent certain there was only room for me in his life.

He withdrew immediately. I turned around, lowering my dress.

“Sara, did I do something wrong?”

“Tom, I…can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“After all that happened tonight, I’m not ready to be with you. I need time.”

He brushed his hands through his hair. “You’re right. This would have been a mistake. I’m sorry. I really am.” He walked back to the kitchen counter, took his keys, and stormed out of the house. A minute later, the Maserati purred to life. I ran after him, but by the time I made it to the front door, the car had peeled away and Tom was gone.