24. Lacey

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

lacey

S itting around the table at Jalynn and George's, I push the conversation over to Jalynn and her pregnancy. She's reached the latter part of her pregnancy and could be welcoming their new addition soon. Jalynn and George almost have the nursery set up and decorated. They only have a few more pieces of furniture to assemble. And today, Jacob is giving George a hand.

George makes another joke about Jalynn's mood swings and food cravings. She's been a good sport in all of it and laughs at herself along with the rest of us.

"Oh, do you remember that eating contest you insisted on competing in in our sophomore year of college?" George asks Jalynn. Jalynn buries her face in her hands, laughing at the memory. "Do you remember that?" George asks me this time. "She would not be talked out of it, either. She got four hamburgers down, and then her face just went green."

"Babe, that was after Lacey moved back home," Jalynn reminds him.

"Oh. Oh yeah."

Nothing to kill the moment quite like digging up old history. Jalynn clears her throat and takes a drink of water. Shame immerses me as I recollect the day that I broke the news to Jalynn.

"So you're throwing it all away just like that?" Jalynn asked, her foot tapping on the floor as an alternate outlet for all of the things she wanted to say to me but was holding back.

"Just because he asked me to marry him doesn't mean my life's goin' to hell in a handbasket,'' I argued.

I zipped up my suitcase and set it aside.

"Excuse me? He's making you drop out of college. And move back home."

"I'm just pressing pause on classes right now. He's still having a hard time with Brian's death."

"I don't like it, Lace. Something's not right, and I'm convinced you're keeping something from me." Jalynn folded her arms, anger still radiating from her countenance.

"Can't you just be happy for me?" I pleaded.

"No. I'm sorry, I love you, but I can't be happy about something that's bad for you...even if I can't quite put my finger on what's wrong."

"Jay—"

"Ben is a rotten apple, Lacey. Throw him back, and let the worms have their way with him."

"He loves me. And I love him. I want you to be my maid of honor."

"No. I will not support this. Don't do this, Lacey. I'm begging you." Jalynn took my hands in hers, making sure I heard her pleas.

"I have to. Ben needs me."

"You know what we need to do before the baby comes?" Jalynn asks everyone, startling me. "We need to go out on a double date."

She claps her hands with excitement and bounces in her seat.

"Seriously, Jay?" I ask. "I don't want to try to find a date. You know the type of luck I've had lately."

"I thought I was clear when I said we need to go on a double date."

Jalynn glares back and forth between me and Jacob.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jacob says.

I don't get it. Jacob and I are practically inseparable. I spend more time with Jacob than I do with Jalynn these days. He's even commented on how much time we spend together. I go weak at the knees every time I see him, and he instantly boosts my mood without even trying. Not to mention all the sweet things he does for me. Jacob is a better boyfriend than Ben ever dreamed of being, and Jacob isn't even my boyfriend.

Is it me? I thought he was drawn to me the same way I am to him, but I'm starting to wonder. I thought after that kiss, with as much time as we've been spending together, a relationship would naturally form. I don't want to just be his friend. I want to have it all with him. Something's got to give.

"Okay, then," Jalynn says, stirring me from my silent sulking, "we can make it a triple date. Lacey, I'll set you up so we can avoid any more stalkers or perves, but Jacob, you have to find your own date."

"Jay—" I start.

"Come on, Lace. One date. That's all I'm asking. I want to go out and have a fun night with my besties before the baby comes. We wait any longer and I might not be able to move."

"What is this date going to consist of?" Jacob asks. He seems to know well enough that there's no point in fighting it.

"I'll come up with a plan."

Jalynn gives me a wink, and I get the impression she just might be up to no good. I'm not sure what yet, but she's got something up her sleeve. I'm sure of it.

We meet up at George and Jalynn's house on the night of our group date so we can carpool to a nearby farm for some fall fun. Jalynn answers the knock at the door and returns with Russell, a tall, decently handsome ranch hand who'll be playing the part of my date for the evening. Jalynn makes the introductions, and Russell and I get acquainted while we wait for Jacob and his date to arrive.

Jalynn goes to answer another knock at the door, and she comes back into the room a moment later with Jacob behind her, but he's alone.

"I wasn't able to find a date," he says unapologetically.

I steal a look at Jalynn, trying to silently communicate the apprehension this turn of events has inspired in me. I lock eyes with her, and Jalynn turns back to Jacob, barely hiding the amusement on her face.

"That's okay," Jalynn tells him. "You can come along as our fifth wheel."

"I'm sure he doesn't want to come stag," I speak up, hoping my dismay about the situation isn't too obvious. "Jacob, it's okay if you don't want to go."

"No worries. I'll be your spare tire," Jacob says, giving me a wink.

Dread spills down into my feet, filling my body and making movement seem like an impossible task as everyone grabs their jackets and heads out to the car. What is Jacob thinking? Why didn't he just bring a damn date like we all agreed?

We decide to ride in George's truck together since everyone can fit. George and Jalynn sit in the front, while I'm in the back, flanked by Russell and Jacob. Thankfully, it's a short ride over to the farm.

We all stand in line for tickets to the haunted corn maze and hayride. It's awkward now, being on a date with Jacob here, but he and Russell are getting along surprisingly well, occupying most of the conversation. When we step up to the ticket booth, Jacob speaks first.

"Two for the corn maze and hayride," he says.

Jalynn and I glance at each other, bewildered. Jacob takes the tickets and his change from the attendant. As he turns from the window, he holds out a ticket to me.

"Um, that's okay. I'll get Lacey's ticket," Russell says.

"No, man, I've got it," Jacob replies and steps out of the way of the window.

Russell steps up and buys himself a ticket.

We make our way to the corn maze. I lead the way with Jacob and Russell on either sides of me. Russell reaches over and takes my hand as we enter the maze. My cheeks burn with guilt, and I have to remind myself that it's okay for me to hold his hand.

With each scare in the maze, I naturally cling to Jacob for protection. As the fright leaves my body, I remember it's Russell I'm supposed to be here with, and I go back to holding Russell's hand. Toward the end of the maze, while I'm clinging to Jacob's arm, Russell drops back behind us to George and Jalynn. He's trying to whisper, but I'm still able to make out his complaint.

"What's his deal?" Russell asks in a hushed voice. "Am I supposed to fight him for her or what?"

Russell grabs my hand outside of the corn maze and pulls me along toward the hayride. I'm pretty sure he is trying to put some distance between us and Jacob. We find a spot to sit on the hay-covered wagon and wait for the others to catch up. Jacob is walking with George and Jalynn now, but as soon as they make it to the wagon, Jacob takes the vacant seat on my other side.

By the time we make it to dinner, I can tell Russell's patience is growing thin. Despite his efforts, Jacob is constantly vying for my attention. Russell tries to maintain physical contact with me during dinner, and I do my best to ignore Jacob's hand resting on my thigh. When the waitress inquires how to split the check, again, the boys argue over who is paying for me.

"I'll be on my own check," I tell the waitress, ready to be out of this predicament.

Once we make it back to Jalynn and George's house, Jalynn turns on a movie for us to watch together. Russell watches me and Jacob wearily. I can tell that I'm no longer worth the effort to him. He's about to forfeit.

"You know what?" Russell announces after the first few minutes of the movie. "I think I'm going to go home."

"Are you sure?" Jalynn asks.

"Yeah," he says, nodding his head, lips pursed. "When you asked me about coming on this date, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." He walks out the door. Slowly, laughter bubbles up and erupts after his exit.

"You two are ridiculous," George says after the laughter dies down. "I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did. Come on, Jay. Let's go to bed and let these lovebirds figure things out."

He stands and holds a hand out to help Jalynn out of her chair. Jacob and I look at each other, each of us feigning confusion, but we know good and well what George is talking about. They disappear down the hall, and I turn back to Jacob. His eyes are now focused on the TV screen.

"What's the real reason you didn't bring a date tonight?" I ask.

"I didn't want one." When I continue to watch him, he adds, "Are we watching this movie or what?"

"Why?"

"Because I haven't seen it," he says. I glare at him. "Because the only date I wanted was already taken."

"And who was that?" I ask, afraid of his answer.

He turns to me now and locks eyes with me.

"You seriously have to ask?" He pauses, but I don't say anything. "You."

"But you had your chance to go with me, and you said no," I point out.

"I know. I realized too late that by not taking you myself, I was signing you up to go with someone else. I liked that idea even less."

"So, what now? Neither of us date? You don't want to date me, but you don't want me dating anyone else, either?"

"I don't know," he replies and turns back to the movie.

After several seconds of silence, I turn back to the movie as well. I can't concentrate on it, though. I'm too caught up in my head trying to figure out Jacob to focus on anything else. The longer I sit here, the more my frustration builds.

"Jacob?" I finally break the silence.

"Yeah?"

"What's your plan here?" I shift in my seat, turning toward him, and wrap my arms around myself, hoping it will ease my nerves.

"What do you mean?" he asks, finally turning from the TV screen to look at me.

"If you have a move to make now would be a good time to make it," I prompt him.

"Lacey, I like you a lot, but I don't want to move things too quickly. I don't want either of us getting hurt."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but the only direction we've been moving is backward." I arch an eyebrow at him.

Jacob turns back to the TV. I know he's trying to pretend to be calm and unaffected, but I can see his nervousness pouring out through the tapping of his fingers on the arm of the couch.

"It's late," I finally say. I can't sit here with him any longer. "I'm gonna head home for the night."

I rise to my feet, prompting Jacob to sit up straight.

"Wait, Lace. Don't go," he says and stands.

Jacob grabs hold of my hands, but I pull away and sidestep him to the door. I know he's following me outside, but it's too late. I'm tired of waiting on him to notice what I can already see.

"Good night, Jacob," I say over my shoulder.

"I don't want you to leave here mad at me."

"I don't want to sit here pretending like everything is fine," I shoot back, not stopping.

I climb into my truck and slam the door closed for added emphasis. Jacob reaches to open it again, but I press down the lock before he can. The sides of his balled fists tap the doorframe and his frustrated exhale is nearly a snarl.

"If you want to have this conversation get out of the truck, and let's have it," Jacob grumbles through the closed door.

I slide the key into the ignition and twist. Nothing.

Shit.

Of all the times not to start, of course this would be the one. I reach down into the passenger floorboard where the hammer waits. I climb back out of the truck armed with the hammer and fury coursing through my veins.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asks.

"It's none of your concern."

I push away from him, but before I can make my move to climb under the truck, Jacob has me cornered, his arms blocking me, making me lean back against my truck to maintain some space between us. In a quick, fluid motion he pulls the hammer out of my hand and tucks it head down into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Would you stop for a minute and talk to me?" When he gets nothing more than a glare from me he continues. "We aren't good for each other."

"How do you even know if you won't give us a chance?" I spit back. "Is it that miserable for you to spend time with me? Because if so, what are you doing here? Why is it that every time I turn around you're here? I don't need you. I can manage just fine on my own. I let you help me because I thought it was just an excuse for you to spend time with me. If that's not the case, if I'm only a burden to you, then I don't want you here!"

"You are not a fucking burden. I want you more than I care to admit, but if things go sour with us, neither one of us will survive it," Jacob says inching closer, pinning me between him and the truck. His body pressed up against mine begins to chip away at my resolve. My fury turns into a boiling river of want, a mirror of the longing I see in his eyes, too. "I barely made it through my breakup with Ashley, and frankly, what I felt for her is only a fraction of what I already feel for you. And if I did something to break your heart, I couldn't live with myself." Jacob shakes his head, determined that he's right. "And when you decide that I'm not enough for you, there will be no coming back from that."

The pain in his eyes is undeniable, and I know there's no changing his mind. Yet our bodies are too close, confusing my senses. The emotions floating between us are too raw. If I stay here any longer, I won't be able to hold myself together, and I can't let him see me weak.

I reach around Jacob, grabbing the hammer from his pocket and pushing him off of me. Before he can respond, I'm on the ground and sliding under the truck. After giving the starter a couple of good whacks, I slide back out, my shirt riding up my body as I do, which pisses me off even more. I sit back in the truck and try the ignition. Nothing. This time it's my turn to let out a frustrated yell. Jacob stops me on my way back to the ground.

"Hold on," he says. "You haven't fixed your starter, yet? Hand me that hammer."

I try to protest, not wanting to accept his help, but he slides it out of my hand and climbs under the truck. After a couple of thuds, Jacob tells me to try again. This time the truck fires to life. I buckle my seat belt, ready to go.

"Wait for me to get out from under you!" Jacob hollers up at me in a panic.

"You really think I was going to run you over?" I ask after he rolls out from under the truck.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

I shake my head and slam the door closed again. Without giving Jacob another look, I put my truck in reverse and drive away.

The next morning, I step out of the camper and find Jacob's truck sitting next to mine. He's leaning against the hood of the truck, his legs crossed and his arms folded, waiting for me no doubt. I pause for a beat, remind myself I'm mad at him, fix my eyes on my truck, and trust my determination to carry me right past him. As I'm passing, he reaches out and gently grabs my arm.

"Lace—"

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" I ask. I pull my arm away from him defiantly, but I don't move.

"I'm taking you to work."

"I don't need a ride."

Jacob pushes himself off the hood of his truck and stands so close I can feel the warmth radiating off his body. Shivers run down my spine, and as I breathe in the leather and cedarwood that always accompany him, my anger evaporates.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be, Gypsy." Jacob reaches up and gently tugs a strand of my hair. "Come get in my truck."

I raise my eyes to his, debating my next move. I can't deny the pleading in his eyes, but I'm not ready to make nice with him. Stubbornly, I tramp past him to the passenger side of his truck and climb in before he can open the door for me like he always does.