20. Jacob

CHAPTER TWENTY

jacob

" T hank God you came to your senses and broke up with her again," Mia says, rounding the pool table and lining up her next shot. "Honestly, I can't believe you agreed to give her a second chance in the first place."

"So I keep hearing," I reply dryly.

"Actually, strike that. I can't believe you gave her a first chance. She was a bitch, and I hated her from the start."

"I know," I say and take my shot.

Mia has never been shy about giving me her opinion on the women I date.

"Mom keeps telling me not to ask you about it, but I'm not as patient as she is," Mia says. "Please tell me Mom's little stunt a couple of weeks ago was successful to some extent at least."

"What little stunt?" I ask, having no idea what Mia is referring to.

Mia spins around to look at me.

"Oh my gosh. She actually duped you?"

"What are you talking about?" I pause, giving her my full attention now.

"That day, about two weeks ago," Mia says, dropping a ball in the corner pocket, "when she had you fill in for her at the shop?"

"I remember. What about it?"

"It was a setup." Mia laughs incredulously.

"What do you mean it was a setup?" I lean against the edge of the pool table, my interest in our game waning.

"You are so damn gullible! I didn't need her in Bozeman. She's been dying for you and Lacey to get together. You're both finally single, and she jumped on the opportunity before it passed again. She fabricated the whole thing to get you and Lacey to spend the day together."

"You're kidding."

Mia straightens, resting the end of her pool cue on the floor in front of her.

"No. I'm not. And we've been dying to know how it went. Please tell me you didn't let the opportunity go to waste."

I exhale and run my fingers through my hair.

"I'm pretty sure I only made things worse," I say.

I've been actively avoiding Lacey since that day. I feel awful for giving in to the fucking horndog she brings out in me by kissing her.

"What do you mean you made it worse? Made what worse?" Mia asks.

"I kissed her. Then I told her I wasn't ready to get involved with anyone...And I've avoided her since."

Mia smacks my arm.

"Dumbass. What is wrong with you?" Mia scolds me.

"I'm not interested in being in another relationship, and Lacey doesn't want a fling. We might both be single but we aren't in the same place. And I don't want to hurt her."

"Or you're a pansy and afraid she'll break your little heart," Mia says.

"Or that, too." I focus back on our game, clearing a couple more balls.

"I can't even with you right now," Mia says and rolls her eyes at me. "Come on. You owe me a drink."

I take our pool cues and place them back on the rack. Mia leads the way through the pool hall to the door. When we get there, Mia takes a step back toward me as a wave of people come in through the entrance, and I instinctively place a hand on Mia's back. That's when I see Lacey filter through the door with the group of newcomers. She falters when she spots me. I give her a nod, and her eyes drop down to the hand still resting on Mia's back. She recovers quickly, though, and follows her group to the counter.

Fresh guilt washes over me. I wish I could go back in time and take back that kiss. It was selfish of me. I knew before I kissed her that I wasn't interested in dating anyone. And I was already pretty confident about how she feels about me. I wasn't sure she felt the same until that night at the rodeo when she asked me under the stands if I felt it—that electrical spark between us—too.

Even if I wanted to jump into another relationship right now, it wouldn't be fair to Lacey. I'm a shell of what I was before Ashley. She destroyed me. I have nothing left to offer any woman, and Lacey deserves more than that.

It's the right thing to keep my distance from her, especially now. I don't fully trust myself around her, and until I do, I don't need to put us in a situation where I might give in to her again. The temptation to be with her is too great, and the only thing that will come of it is mutual obliteration. I don't know Lacey's story yet, but I can still see a void in her eyes. She's healing from something that cut her deep. There isn't enough of me left to help her heal. I'll only pull her down my own path of destruction.

Mia and I head back to my place for a couple drinks. Mia pipes on about how ignorant I am and tells me in great detail all of the ways I've screwed up. I can always count on Mia not to sugarcoat her opinions about my personal life.