16. Lacey

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

lacey

C aleb and I weave through the crowd of people at the rodeo, our fingers intertwined. I scan the stands of the fairgrounds for our friends. A mixed scent of livestock, earth, and popcorn fill my nose. Caleb leads the way, clearing a path for me through the throng of people.

"There they are," I say, pointing to a spot midway up the stands.

Caleb stops at the bottom of the stairs, letting me pass in front of him to climb the stairs to where our friends are saving seats for us. Caleb wolf whistles at my ass, and I turn around and smack his large shoulder playfully.

Jacob and Ashley are sitting in the row behind Jalynn and George with two empty seats next to Jalynn for me and Caleb to join them. I send Caleb into the row first so I can claim the seat next to Jalynn and give George and Jalynn a hug as I squeeze by them to my spot. My foot catches on something as I make my way by Jalynn, and to my horror, I lose my balance. My hands shoot out to my sides instinctively, trying to rebalance, but it's futile. I already know I'm going down.

But then, I don't. Strong hands grab me from above, and suddenly, I find myself wrapped up in unyielding arms. Heat washes over me and rushes through my veins. I know who my rescuer is simply by my body's response to him. I'm proven right when I look up to see it's Jacob who has wrapped me in his arms. And just like that, he lets me loose again and steps back into his seat, leaving me lightheaded.

Caleb grabs my hand, late to the party because his back was to me when I tripped, and helps me make it safely into my seat. I glance back at Jacob, but his focus is on the arena. Ashley sits next to him with a scowl on her face, undoubtedly upset by what just transpired.

"Are you okay?" Jalynn asks, looking me over.

"Yeah. I'm good. What'd we miss?" I ask.

I want everyone's focus back on the rodeo as quickly as possible. I don't need any more witnesses to the blush that has spread across my face.

"Nothing much," Jalynn replies. "They are getting ready to start the bull riding event."

The gate in the arena flies open and a large bull comes bucking out, the cowboy bending and weaving with the bull. The bull spins back in the other direction, almost throwing the cowboy from his back. The audience cheers when the eight seconds expire, and the cowboy hops off the bull, running to the side of the arena so the bull can't retaliate against him. The rodeo clowns work to get the bull out of the arena while the cowboy waits for his score to be announced and the next cowboy gears up for his turn.

"Do you miss it?" George asks Jacob, turning to look at him over his shoulder.

"Sometimes," Jacob confesses. "Until I see someone get completely obliterated by a bull."

"You're not riding again," Ashley says. "I won't have you put yourself at risk like that again." Jacob rests a hand on her knee, something private clearly passing between them.

"You used to ride bulls?" My brows furrow.

"Yeah. A lifetime ago," Jacob says.

His voice melts my insides.

"I had no idea," I say, holding our eye contact.

He sends chills down my spine.

"Why would you?" Ashley interjects, still wearing her typical sour expression. "Have you been having heart-to-hearts with my fiancé that I don't know about?"

"I'm not your fiancé anymore," Jacob corrects her, pulling his hand away and turning briefly to Ashley. "And don't start your crap tonight, Ash."

"Spoken like someone who has something to hide," Ashley spits back.

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Jacob asks.

"How's your dad doing, Ashley?" George asks, always the peacemaker. "I haven't seen him since we closed on our house."

"Oh, you know Daddy, he's busy making money as always. Just closed on another huge deal. He has a sense for those things. He can always sniff out an opportunity to make money," Ashley says smugly.

Caleb reaches over and pulls my arm under and around his own, lacing his fingers through mine. I'm suddenly concerned whether the static cling between me and Jacob is as obvious to everyone else as it feels coursing through me. I didn't mean to feed the current. It's simply always there when Jacob's around.

I watch the bull riding, quietly soaking in the charge radiating off of Jacob and seeping into my body, intoxicating my senses. I barely notice as the rodeo transitions from bull riding to bronc riding.

"I'm going to grab a drink," Caleb says, standing. "Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm good," I say.

"How are things going at the shop?" Jacob asks me as Caleb heads to the concession stand.

"Good," I say, turning again to look at him. "Diane was in today. She told me about the trouble with her mare. I was happy to hear that you were able to safely deliver the foal."

"It wasn't that big of a deal."

"It was to Diane," I say. After a beat of silence I continue, "And I love working with your mom?—"

"Wait a minute," Ashley interjects. "You're working at the flower shop with Mrs. Jones?"

"Yeah, it's definitely my favorite out of the handful of jobs I've had. And Maddie is great." I direct my comment back toward Jacob. "If the stories she's told me about your childhood are true, the woman is a saint!"

Jacob laughs.

"She lets you call her Maddie?" Ashley asks.

"Yeah. She's a sweetheart," I say.

"You've barely known the woman for five minutes!" Ashley exclaims. "I've known her for years! I'm engaged to her son!" Ashley's frustration spews out.

"We do spend a lot of time together, though, since we work together," I say, trying to diffuse the situation.

"I should have figured she'd have a soft spot for the hillbilly minx."

"Ashley—" Jacob starts, but I interrupt him.

"Excuse me?" I ask, turning in my seat and zeroing in on Ashley.

"You show up one day out of the blue, and everyone is falling over themselves to get to you. I don't get it. I don't see what is so marvelous about you that has everyone fawning over you!"

"Nobody is fawning over me, Ashley," I say.

"Yes, they all are. And my fiancé is at the top of the list!"

"Ashley—" Jacob tries to interrupt again.

"I couldn't get your attention when she's around if I stripped off all my clothes and went walking naked across the arena," Ashley says to Jacob, now on her feet and drawing the attention of the people sitting around us. "So what's the deal, Lacey? Are you having sex with my fiancé?"

"Ashley!" Jacob barks at her.

"Bless your little heart. It's truly bewildering how your lovely disposition doesn't leave the whole world smitten with you," I say.

I stand and slide past Jalynn and George to the stairs, trying to ignore the embarrassment flooding over me as the spectators stare. Once on the stairs, I briefly glance behind me to see Jacob rising to his feet. Ashley grabs at his arm, trying to stop him as he slides past her to the stairs. He glares back at her and pulls his arm free as I turn away again to focus on the path ahead of me. I don't even know where to go.

I head under the stands where I'm free of people watching. Taking a breath, I lean back against one of the beams, trying to calm myself. I'm kicking rocks one by one across the concrete pad when Jacob finds me.

"Hey," he says, stopping next to me.

"Hey." I can't look at him. I chew on my bottom lip and focus extra hard on the concrete.

"Sorry about Ashley. I don't know what her deal is." Jacob leans against the beam next to me.

"It's okay. She's jealous. I get it." I fold my arms over my chest and study the man in front me as I breathe in his heady scent.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me you feel it, too," I say, not giving myself a chance to filter the words.

"Feel what?" Jacob asks, but I can tell by his expression that he knows exactly what I'm talking about. He does feel it. I need to hear him say it, though.

"The sparks. The pull." I drop my eyes back to the ground, embarrassment creeping back again.

"Lacey..." Jacob steps closer and reaches up to sweep a strand of hair behind my ear, allowing his fingers to linger a little too long. I'm paralyzed by his touch, desperate to hear him confess.

"Lace?" This time it's Caleb's voice calling for me.

Jacob quickly drops his hand and takes a step back. His hands find his pockets as Caleb approaches us. I straighten where I am and slide my own hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

"Is everything okay?" Caleb asks, only a few feet away from us now. He glances back and forth between us, seeming unsure of what he has walked up on.

"Yeah," I say. "But I think I'm ready to go home. Jacob, will you tell everyone goodbye for me?"

"You don't have to leave," Jacob says, and for a moment, I think he's going to reach for me again.

"I think it's probably best," I insist. "Take me home, Caleb?"

"Sure thing, beautiful," Caleb says.

Caleb and I walk out of the rodeo to his truck, hand in hand. Caleb opens his truck door, then lifts me into the driver's seat, my body facing him. I pull him to me, straddling his body. My hand gently rests on the side of his face, and I run my thumb across his cheek. He really is a sweet, wonderful man.

"What's going on in that head of yours, beautiful girl?" Caleb asks, resting his hands on my thighs.

"Nothing much."

"No, it's something. I can tell. You look like someone kicked your favorite puppy."

"You're my favorite puppy." I run my fingers through his hair.

"Who kicked me, then?" He leans into me more, his smile beginning to fade.

"I'm afraid I might."

"Why?"

"I really like you," I say.

"That's not a kick. I really like you, too."

I sit in silence for a moment. Caleb furrows his brow. I try to remember if this is the first time I've ever seen him without a smile on his face.

"Did I miss something?" he asks. "Does this have anything to do with what happened in there?"

"No. I'm just afraid I've let things go further than I should've. I wasn't sure. But I didn't know I wasn't sure."

"Lace, you're worrying me. Just spit it out."

"I'm afraid we're better suited as friends."

Caleb steps back and leans against the side of his truck. His head hangs limply back over his broad shoulders.

"Caleb—"

"No, it's okay. You're allowed to feel whatever sort of way. Why do you think we should be friends?" he asks, his head turned toward me now.

"Do you feel a fire in your belly when I kiss you?" I ask, leaning my side against the back of the seat, closer to Caleb.

"Not in my belly, but?—"

"Caleb!" I smack his shoulder.

"Do you really think it matters if we don't?" he asks, looking over at me.

"Is complacency all we should strive for?"

"I like you, Lacey."

I reach over and grab Caleb's arm, hugging it to me.

"But you may never have that burning desire for me. And you deserve to have that with someone."

Silence falls over us as Caleb contemplates what I just said. He pushes off the truck and turns back to face me, his hands on my knees.

"So where does this leave us?"

"Friends?" I suggest.

"Friends," Caleb repeats, only looking like a gently kicked puppy.

The ride back to my place is a quiet one. I silently hope I did the right thing, and I hope Caleb isn't taking it too hard. He seems to be handling it okay, though he's clearly disappointed. So am I. When we reach my camper, Caleb helps me down and walks me to my door as usual.

"So this is it?" he asks, his hands deep in his pockets. "Just friends now?"

"I think it's best." I shrug.

Caleb leans down and wraps me in his arms, picking me up off the ground as he always does. I hug him tight, my arms around his neck. He kisses my forehead before turning and walking back to his truck.

I'm quick to find my way to bed, and surprisingly, sleep isn't hard to find. What starts off as a peaceful slumber turns dark quickly, no doubt my challenging day stirring up a pain that overtakes me.

Sitting on the couch in Grammy's living room—now my living room—I tried to wrap my head around the fact that she was gone. I still wore the black dress from the funeral, my mind too numb to make my body go through the motions of changing my clothes. It was just me now, the last of my family. This was not what I'd expected from my summer break. I hadn't anticipated spending my last month of summer alone.

Knocking on the front door stirred me at last. I stared at the door, my mind and body still not quite connected. With another firm knock, my feet dropped to the floor, and I rose from the couch, starting toward the door. The world felt as though it was moving in slow motion, but I think it was just me barely inching toward the door.

By the time I finally pulled it open, my visitor had already begun his retreat back to his truck. He froze, apparently hearing the door behind him, and turned back to me.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" I asked. I'd barely seen him since we broke up last fall after the incident before finals.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

A shake of the head was about all I could muster. Ben stepped into me, wrapping me in his arms. I buried my face into his chest, and the dam of emotions I'd been holding finally burst free.

My sobs wake me. I sit up and drop my legs over the edge of the bed and wipe my cheeks dry on my T-shirt. That summer, the summer after my freshman year of college, was the start of one of my most difficult years yet. When Grammy passed away, I let Ben back into my life. I guess those six or so months broken up was long enough for me to forget how hard it was to be with him.

It seemed like perfect timing. Jalynn and George started dating the second semester of our freshman year and had plans to move in together in the fall. I hadn't figured out what to do about my living arrangements at school. After Ben and I got back together that summer, though, he suggested I move in with him. It seemed like the perfect solution. If I could go back in time, there are a lot of things I wouldn't change. As for my sophomore year of college? Yeah, I'd burn that year down to ashes and wouldn't ever look back.