Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN

CRAIG

Music, our music, swirls around me, filling the air of Devon's basement. Nodding along to the beat Devon and Patrick established, I improvise a riff to accompany it and harmonize with Cody's soulful voice. The song we've been working on for the past two hours is finally coming together.

I woke up wrapped around Ty, with new lyrics on the brain, this morning. The book launch party last night, and the things we'd said to each other, about how we matter to each other, have been on my mind too. After Ty went to work, I called Devon, Patrick, and Cody, and we've spent the first full day of my visit to Buffalo in this basement.

Devon's basement is a far cry from the studios I've grown used to in LA, but it was the site of our practice sessions before the move to LA, and has been our place for jam sessions in the years we've been apart. New sound-proofing material lines the gray-painted walls, and new chairs flank the overstuffed couch behind Devon's drum kit, but the framed concert posters lining one wall and the set-up of us four band members are exactly the same as always .

With Falling Midnight gaining an avalanche of social media followers since signing with Furious Records, thanks to Better Days Ahead going viral, there's a tension circulating within me, a pins and needles, walking on eggshells tension, like I'm holding my breath and afraid to exhale.

We have a signed contract. We almost have enough material to get into the studio and record our first album under the new label. And we have the upcoming tour with Satyr's Kiss. All four of us feel the pressure.

The song comes to a close, then I play the riff again. "What do you think?"

Head tilted to the side, Patrick stifles a yawn and gestures for me to repeat the riff. I do, and he nods. "Yeah. That's the one."

His yawn sets off mine. Life has been a whirlwind since my time on tour with Luke and the guys. From signing the contract, recording the duet with Luke and the studio session of Better Days Ahead with my band, then meetings with artists for songwriting projects, visits for the foundation, and songwriting for the new album, I'm exhausted. I need to lose myself in Ty, and I'll get to do that again tonight. Holding him last night was amazing, and I want more.

I've missed texting with him and talking with him as much as I used to before we signed with the label and life became a whirlwind. I don't want him slipping away, or feeling like he's not a priority for me. Because he is.

I'd hoped that my showing up to his book launch last night proved it, but one gesture isn't enough. Plus, I was a day late in arriving, thanks to work. Maybe if I'd been there when the flowers and candy delivery happened, Ty's awful roommate wouldn't have helped himself to the treats.

Seeing Ty via a screen and hearing him via a sound piece isn't good enough. Neither is sporadic, in-person visits. I need a lot more of holding-him-close visits.

Much more than long weekends and stolen moments.

That thought has been turning over and over in my mind for weeks. My heartbeat stutters and I take a deep breath. "I'm thinking I might buy or rent a place here and be bi-coastal."

Three expressions of surprise and confusion mirror each other, and for a moment, no one speaks or moves, they only stare at me. My blurting that out with zero context might be why.

"You're moving here?" Devon bites his lip and then frowns at the drums. "Well, that changes things a bit."

"What do you mean?" I move closer.

He raises his gaze. "I've decided I'm moving back to LA. We have the contract and I know we're going there to record, but that's not enough. I let what happened with Anthony run me out of there, and I've regretted it for years. I want to go back. If I leave again, it'll be on my own terms. But I need to do this."

"Wow, Dev." Cody's voice is soft and his eyes glitter with sympathy.

Devon runs his hand over his face and then through his hair. "I talked to my regional manager. She said I could transfer to our flagship store in LA. I told her I'd need to cut back my hours to accommodate the tour, and she said it isn't a problem."

Cody sets the mic on the stand. "What about Celek? You two looked like you really hit it off last night."

"What about him?" Devon shrugs like the man doesn't matter, but wraps his arms around his middle, hugging himself. "We had a good conversation at the party, then we drifted apart during the chaos of people moving toward the food when the cake was cut. I looked for him after that, but one of his teammates said Celek left to drive another teammate who had a migraine home. Apparently, the guy was puking in the alley behind the gallery. He's a good captain, looking out for his teammates. He probably stayed with the guy and got him settled."

Cody props his elbow on the mic and looks at our friend, who is currently doing a lousy job of hiding his feelings. "Sorry, Dev."

It was good seeing Devon open and clearly enjoying the company of Celek at the party. After Anthony, none of us were sure he'd ever get back out there. So, if there's any way I can help him, I will. "I could ask Ty to give him your number."

He runs his finger along the curved edge of one of the cymbals. "I don't know. I mean, I'm going to LA, and he's here, and that would put us in the same situation you're in with Ty. I've seen how hard it's been on you, and I don't think I'm equipped for it."

"I understand, bud. It sucks, and I'm done with it. I need to be where he is, a lot more often than I have been." Tossing my guitar pick into the open case, I watch it land on the soft golden fabric. Everything I've ever wanted is within my reach. I just need to figure out how to put the pieces together. "What's that saying about falling in love making fools out of people?"

"Love? You're in love with him?" A smile beams across Devon's face, chasing away the gray clouds hanging over his expression. "Dude, that's awesome."

"So great." Cody presses his hands over his heart. "We love Ty. You two are perfect together. I completely understand you needing to be here with him. Now that you're in a relationship, will we be doing more love songs? Your lyrics might lean that way." His gaze flies to where Patrick sits on the stool across the room. "We'll have to rely on Paddy for the raw angst and biting lyrics."

Patrick's eyes flash and he raises one dark brow. "You know I hate when you call me that."

"No." Dragging the word out to one long syllable, Cody crosses his arms over his chest and lifts his chin. His eyebrow piercing glints in the overhead light. "I think you secretly love it. Just like you secretly love me."

"You're delusional."

"And you're in denial."

The clash of drumsticks hitting the crash cymbals reverberates through the air, and we all wince. Devon stands and points one wooden stick at Cody and Patrick. "The two of you, enough. Craig, are you serious about this?"

Nerves and exhilaration flow through me. Unsure how to word my thoughts, I play a chord, focusing on my fingers moving over the strings. "I am. I need more time with Ty. Long distance sucks. I'm tired of being three hours behind and three thousand miles apart."

"Understandable." Cody grabs a bottle of water from the shelf behind him. "Have you spoken to him about your decision yet?"

I shake my head and continue playing. "No. I thought I'd talk to him about it tonight. We're meeting up for dinner."

Water sloshes in the bottle as Cody turns it over and over. "When do we get to see Ty again?"

"Not for a few days at least. Maybe not for the whole visit. I might keep him to myself this time."

"Why?" Clutching the bottle to his chest, Cody blinks at me, all innocence. No one does wide-eyed shock better. My friend's theatrical talents are put to use on-stage and off. "Afraid we'll scare him away for good? "

"No. But the past two times we saw each other in person there were a lot of other people around, so I'm feeling pretty selfish about sharing him with anyone else. I had to share him last night at the book launch, too." Thinking about dinner leads to thinking about afterwards , and I need to establish some possible plans. "Devon… He has difficult roommates and their house is pretty cramped, so he's been staying with Slater and Noah. I don't know if we'll end up back at their place again, or here."

"Okay." Devon twirls his drumsticks through the fingers of both hands simultaneously, a move he mastered back when we were in high school. "Hold on. Are you actually asking for my permission to bring someone home?"

"No." Then I stop and think about it. "Actually, yeah. If I bring Ty back here to spend the night, would you think I'm an inconsiderate houseguest?"

"No way. Ty's welcome. And my bedroom is far enough away from the guest room that I shouldn't hear anything, if you were worried about that."

"Can I stay over too?" Eyes brimming with laughter and smile a mile wide, Cody falls to his knees in front of Devon's drum kit and raises his hands in a pleading pose. "We love Ty, and you two together are couple goals. I'll even serve you guys breakfast in bed."

Cracking up at his antics, I reach over and ruffle his hair, mussing the dark strands. "What about your own houseguest?"

Patrick sets the bass aside. He strides past Cody and swipes another bottle of water. "His houseguest would be fine with some peace and quiet."

The laughter and smile fade as Cody's features cloud with hurt. He stands, brushing off his jeans. "You don't have to stay with me, Paddy, if I'm too much for you. Get a hotel room, or sleep outside, or go back to LA early. Whatever. I don't care."

" Guys . We've been together for less than twenty-four hours." Exasperation fills Devon's voice. A thunderous look darkening his face, he holds his drumsticks above the crash cymbals, letting the threat hang. "Stop. Or I'll call an end to practice right now."

My concern grows as I study the pair. Patrick seems pissed off, and Cody's hurt isn't an act. I don't understand Patrick's change in mood, but he and Cody can turn a one-eighty, going from getting along to not, in a flash. "Guys?—"

"Call it. I think I'm about done anyway." Gaze still wounded, Cody raises a hand to his throat. "I need tea. And food. Anyone hungry?"

Without waiting for a response, he jogs up the stairs. The door at the top leads to the kitchen. He lets it slam behind him.

"Damn it." Devon sets the sticks down, then leaps out of his seat. Striding through the room, he levels a glare at Patrick. "Why you're staying with him and why he asked you is beyond me. You're like oil and vinegar. And speaking of that, I need to check on him. Last time he got upset, he made an absolute fucking mess of my kitchen."

He heads up the steps. The door slams a second time with his exit. Silence fills the space, as heavy as the tension-filled interactions.

Hands tucked into his front pockets, Patrick leans against the wall. A scowl darkening his features, he stares at the poster advertising our first gig, gazing at something in the print, or perhaps so caught up in his thoughts that he isn't focusing on anything in particular.

I remove my guitar and set it against the case. Treading in the waters of the Patrick and Cody situation has the potential to be explosive. Over the years, Devon and I have become masters at getting the guys to talk, or make up, or see reason, and smooth ruffled feathers.

Moving around the room, I unplug cords and wrap up wires. "What did you guys do this morning before you came over?"

"Not much. Watched some show Cody likes. He made me breakfast."

"In bed?" I can't help teasing, thinking of Cody's earlier offer.

Finally, Patrick's scrutiny swings in my direction. His expression is unreadable. "No."

"Did you fight? You both seemed fine before we started playing."

His gaze shoots to the microphone, then to the closed door. "Contrary to popular belief, we don't fight all the time."

"Just most of it?"

With a sigh, Patrick pushes away from the wall. "What do you want, Craig?"

"I want to know why you're acting this way." Legs splayed, I cross my arms over my chest and wait. I can out-stubborn the man. "We have a second shot at our dream, and this time, with the support of Furious Records, it can actually come true. We should all be getting along, not fighting. So, what gives? Are you regretting giving this a go?"

"No. Put it down to me being exhausted and jet-lagged, and agreeing to spend the next two weeks rooming with someone who gets under my skin like no one else." He twists the cap off the water bottle. "I'm sorry I'm being an ass. I'll apologize to him."

"Want to switch with me? You can stay here and I'll stay with Cody. I'll probably end up staying with Ty most nights anyway. "

"No. It's fine."

"If you're sure…" We watch each other and I can't help feeling there's something he's not telling me. Hopefully, he'll feel he can open up and share soon. I don't like knowing one of my best friends is out of sorts, but I can't force the man to spill his secrets. "You haven't said anything about me maybe living here part-time."

His brows shoot up. "It's your life. You can do whatever you want. To echo Devon's earlier question, are you asking for my permission?"

"Of course not. But I don't want to leave you stranded. It's been the two of us together in the same city for a decade."

Patrick immediately shakes his head. "You're not abandoning me. Plus, we'll be seeing each other more with all the band stuff. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"You've found someone who makes you happy." His voice softens along with his expression, erasing all evidence of the earlier scowls and tension. "You haven't been happy the last few years, buddy. Not like how you are with Ty. You should be where he is as often as possible."

"There's so much to think about. The band has commitments and obligations now. I want to be where you guys are. But I want to be with him too."

"We'll make things work." He lets that thought hang, and I know he's right.

"I know we will." My voice is sure. "I've always been happiest when we're jamming together."

He takes a swig of water. "Then you met Ty, and now you're happiest with him. Don't deny it. Our feelings won't be hurt that someone's displaced us."

"Not displaced. "

"In a way, we have been. But it's okay. You found your person."

"Yeah. I have."

He smiles at me, then pulls a face and rolls his eyes. "Okay, enough mushy shit. When you're here, if music or lyrics come to you, or to us, we'll record the sessions and send them to each other, attempt more virtual rehearsing. But we'll need to see each other often so we can play together. You keeping your apartment in LA?"

"Yeah. Maybe Devon can stay there when I'm not." I pull out my phone and open my notes app, making a list of the things I need to do. "I also have to talk to the people at the foundation… What do you think about me starting up a branch of it here in Buffalo?"

"That's a good idea." He sets the bottle down, then picks it up again and wanders toward the mic stand. "Having Dev with me will be awesome. I'm glad he's moving back. Wish he'd never gone away. Cody too. LA won't be the same without you. It'll be better when we're all there together."

Feeling the warm glow of friendship, I bump our shoulders together. "You know, you could always spend more time here with me…"

"Yeah, I don't think so." Patrick shakes his head, but he's smiling. "Visits are fine, but I'm not moving back."

"I get it." We'll figure everything out. I'm determined to have it all. My friends, my band, and Ty.

The door at the top of the stairs swings open, and Cody comes halfway down the steps. "I'm leaving. Craig, have a great time with Ty tonight. Tell him we said hi. See you at practice tomorrow. Patrick , if you decide to stay elsewhere, please let me know so I can lock up properly and make sure you return my key. "

"Cody, wait." Looking contrite, Patrick cuts a path through the room. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

The hoop in his brow glinting in the overhead light, Cody eyes him warily. "All right."

"I mean it." He meets him on the stairs and lays a hand on our shorter friend's shoulder. "I was out of line. Can I still stay with you?"

Cody's gaze bounces from Patrick's face to where his hand rests and back again. Hurt still haunts his features. "I'm not too extra for you?"

"You're just the right amount of extra." Warmth tinges Patrick's words and affectionate tone.

I slowly tread closer to the guys. It seems we all hold our collective breath as Cody wages an internal debate. If I have to play referee again so soon…

Finally, Cody nods. "You can stay."

Devon appears in the doorway, holding a steaming mug. The scent of coffee drifts toward me. "Glad everyone's friends again. Let's try to keep it that way. Hey, Craig, I think I might keep this house as a rental property. You could stay here when you're in town."

"That works out. I was thinking you could stay at my apartment in LA when I'm here." I tuck my phone in my pocket. "But I wonder if Ty might like visiting LA more often. I hope we can spend more time there together."

With a dramatic sigh, Cody sags against the railing. His black nail polish is a stark contrast to the white painted wood. "Well, if you're all going to be in LA, I don't want to be the only one here."

"Wait, you want to move back to LA?" Patrick gapes at Cody. But there's more behind his gaze, like maybe everything he wants is within his grasp.

"If we're getting a chance to relive our dream, and you're all going to be there together, at least for half a year, if Craig splits his time evenly, then I don't want to be left out, missing out on things again."

"I get that." And I do. He was the first to leave, and had to listen to us talking about practices and gigs, band drama and trauma, setting aside his dreams to take care of his dad. He deserves to experience every single second of this opportunity.

"My dad's not sick anymore. He's been dating Sylvia for two years, so I don't have to worry about him being alone, or feel like I'd be abandoning him." Cody frowns at the mic stand, his brows drawing together in concentration. "I don't want to deal with being a landlord. I can sell my house, hopefully find someplace to rent in LA, and then maybe when I come back here for visits, I can stay at Devon's." He glances at me. "Would you mind if we were here at the same time?"

"Fine with me." It all seems so easy, and eagerness bubbles up inside of me. Eagerness to see where our band goes. Eagerness to be with the men who have been such an important part of my life for so long. Eagerness to have something real, something more with Ty.

Devon's expression takes on the same animated glee as when we first moved out to California. "We could rent a place in LA together."

Cody's head bobs up and down with enthusiasm as his smile threatens to take over his entire face. The tension in his shoulders dissolves. "I'd like that."

My head feels like it's spinning. I went from telling them I think I need to be bi-coastal for my relationship, and now both Devon and Cody are moving to LA. If I could have Ty there too, then all the most important people in my life would be in one place.

Devon takes another sip from his mug. "I know you've been in my house a million times, but if you do end up living here, you might want to look at it again through fresh eyes. Want to do that now?"

"Sure." I've always liked the feel of his home. Even more so with the renovations he did after he bought the house from his parents when they moved to a retirement community in Las Vegas. "Let's do it."

"We'll come too." Cody's voice rings out, accompanied by a flourish as he gestures at himself and Patrick. Then he glances at Patrick, lowers his arm, and his shoulders round as he shifts to a lower step. "Unless you want to go yourself, Craig, and just walk through with Devon."

Needing to fix the still-healing wound, I clamp a hand on both Patrick's and Cody's shoulders. "Are you kidding? I need all of you with me. Plus, if you're staying here on visits, you need to decide where you'd want to sleep."

We climb the steps to the first floor. The house, the only one on the block that has three stories, doesn't fit with the styles of the rest of the split-levels on the street. It's unique.

Devon stops by the coffee pot and tops off his mug. Either he or Cody set out three other mugs when they were up here earlier. "I had a new roof put on last year and a new HVAC system. The appliances are only a few years old, and the hardwood floors are in great shape."

All fine and good, but I'm more drawn to the carved moldings, hidden pocket doors, and the natural light spilling into every room. The house has charm and character.

I walk into the dining room, but can easily see the space converting to a music room. Having my piano along the far wall. The guitars and amps set on one side, and space for a desk and a comfortable chair.

One door down is the room Devon uses as an office. Light spills in from large windows on three sides, bathing the room in brightness, perfect for Ty to create art. I can picture him huddling over a drafting table. Sketching. Painting. Being there. Sharing my space. "It's perfect."

Patrick turns away from his study of the room and slings his arm over Cody's shoulder. "Yeah, I can picture the two of you here."

Anxious to share this with Ty, my fingers itch to grab my phone and call him. "The music room and this one here are what really matter."

Cody tentatively rests his head on Patrick's shoulder, and relaxes degree by degree, until he's leaning against Patrick's side. "You should bring Ty over. Let him get a feel for the space."

"You're right." I can picture us cooking in the bright kitchen, sharing a spacious shower in the primary bedroom and soaking together in the clawfoot tub.

Finished touring the rooms, we step outside. I walk onto the front lawn and stare up at the house, my memories of visiting Devon and jamming here mixing in with my visions for the future. "It's a great house, Dev. I'll take care of it while I'm here. And I can't wait for us all to be together in LA too. And on the road, sharing the stage."

He joins me and loops an arm around my shoulder, looking at the place that's been his home for most of his life. "Big changes coming for all of us."

"Yeah. Hopefully, they go the way we want." The cheerful flowers bobbing in the window boxes seem like they're rooting for me. Ty had to work this morning, then is visiting the comic book store with Slater and Noah this afternoon. I pull out my phone and glance at the time. They might be there now.

A text alert beeps, and I open the message and grin. Another sign that this is the right thing to do. I have a legitimate reason for visiting the comic book store now. Maybe I'll run into them there. I don't know if I'll be able to wait until tonight to see Ty.

As with my band, my relationship with him feels like it was meant to be. And I don't want to wait another second without telling the man exactly how I feel. I only wish I'd told him sooner.