35. Sapphire

Sapphire

I wake the next day to afternoon sunlight filtering through the ice barrier.

The storm.

It’s stopping.

The silence feels strange. Almost too quiet after the howling, unforgiving winds.

Riven’s already alert and watchful, studying the ice barrier more intensely now that there’s better visibility.

Meanwhile, we’ve been in this cave for a day and a half.

It’s been three days since I fed from that elk. The hollow feeling in my bones is intensifying. The fangs hidden in my gums ache, as if it wasn’t enough that my entire body is begging for blood.

If the cut that made Riven bleed yesterday happened right now… I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself.

Just the thought of it makes my stomach growl, as if the hollow bones and aching fangs wasn’t enough.

I sit up, rubbing my temples, trying to focus on anything but my sick, monstrous craving.

“The storm’s weakening,” Riven says, his voice tight as he stares through the ice. “Did you sleep well?”

“Well enough,” I say, and this time when my stomach twists, it isn’t from hunger.

It’s from fear.

Just a few more hours, I tell myself. I can make it a few more hours. Once we’re out there, I’ll figure something out. Find a way to feed without him seeing.

Or I could just tell him. Right here, right now, when we have a few hours left before having to leave this cave.

He’ll have to understand that this isn’t my fault. That I can’t control what I am. What I need.

After everything we’ve shared in this cave, maybe he won’t see me as a monster.

But he thought he was here with the Summer Fae changeling who has exceptional natural talent with her magic. The one who’s grown to trust him, and who he—hopefully—has also learned to trust.

He doesn’t know Sapphire, the vampire-fae hybrid. The monster who drained a dark angel dry. Who almost lost control and drained him dry.

The thought of him looking at me with disgust makes my heart ache with pain worse than the hunger rushing through my veins. Especially after the way he’s been looking at me in here—like I’m something precious. Something worth protecting.

Something possibly worth loving.

“We need to leave,” he says abruptly, making me jump where I’m sitting.

“But the stars aren’t out yet.” I frown. “I won’t know where to go?—”

I cut myself off, feeling like an idiot for speaking without thinking it through.

“You want to search for Ghost,” I realize. “Before sunset.”

“We’re weaker without him. More vulnerable. If something happened to him in that storm...” He swallows hard, tensing his jaw. “I need to know.”

“Then we’ll leave as soon as we can.” I push myself to my feet, ignoring the way my hunger makes me dizzy, and something flickers in his eyes—gratitude mixed with something deeper that makes my heart race.

“We have a bit more food,” he says. “Let’s eat, then head out.”

Food.

My stomach growls again.

If only he knew how much he was torturing me by mentioning it.

We gather our supplies, and Riven lowers the ice shield, revealing the aftermath of the storm.

The snow is piled in towering drifts, its surface smooth and unbroken. Ice clings to the trees, their branches heavy, some snapped under the weight. Strangest of all, the air is unnaturally still, as if the storm stole all the sound with it.

On top of everything, the weak afternoon sunlight makes me squint in a way that it never did back home.

Maybe because things are different in the fae realm.

Or maybe because I’m partly a creature of the night.

Riven strides ahead, focused on the open expanse of white. It’s he’s trying to will the universe into revealing Ghost’s whereabouts through sheer determination.

“Wait,” I call out to him, and he spins to look at me, irritation flashing in his silver eyes.

“What?”

“We should split up,” I say quickly. “Cover more area. We’ll have a better chance of finding Ghost that way.”

“No.” His hands still on the hilt of his sword, which is hanging from his weapons belt. “Absolutely not.”

“But if we split up?—”

“I said no. I can’t...” His voice catches, and he swallows hard. “I can’t lose you, too.”

The raw emotion in his voice steals my breath away.

It’s so different from his usually controlled attitude that for a moment, I forget about my hunger.

But it’s back a few seconds later.

“I can take care of myself,” I say, gentler now. “You know I can. And by splitting up, we’ll cover twice the ground. Time saved might be important if Ghost is hurt.”

Splitting up will also give me a chance to feed without Riven knowing.

“You saw how quickly we got separated in that storm.” He moves closer and grips my shoulders, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go. “I won’t risk that happening again. Not with you.”

“But the storm’s over now,” I say gently. “I’ll be okay. Plus, we have the whisper stone. If anything happens to me, you’ll be the first to know. And if I find Ghost, you’ll be the first to know, too.”

Please let that be enough to convince him…

“No,” he repeats, and the pain in his eyes is the kind I’ve only seen one other time.

When he told me about what happened to his mom.

“Okay,” I say softly, reaching up to touch his face. “We’ll stay together.”

The relief in his expression makes my chest ache with guilt.

If he knew what I really was, would he still look at me this way? Or would that relief turn to disgust?

His eyes search my face, as if looking for permission—despite everything that happened during our time in the cave today.

I shouldn’t.

Instead, I give him a small nod, and he brushes his thumb across my cheek, leans forward, and kisses me. A soft kiss—the kind where we know it’s not going to progress to more. It’s just two people, taking a moment to be close to each other, letting the other know that they care about each other and are here for each other, no matter what.

When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine, lingering there with what might almost seem hesitation.

“I love you, Sapphire Hayes,” he whispers, his breath warm against my lips. “I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you at that bar. You’re my summer fae. And I can’t lose you. Not like I lost my mother. Not like I might have lost Ghost.”

My heart stutters.

Three simple words that make everything more complicated—and yet somehow clearer than ever.

“I love you, too,” I say, and the truth of it hits me like an avalanche.

I do love him. Maybe I have since that first night at the Maple Pig, when he walked in and turned my world upside down.

But I’m not a summer fae.

Which means I’ll never be his summer fae. Not really.

He kisses me again, quick but fierce, then straightens, as if that part of business—the part where he opened his heart to me completely—is done. “Let’s find Ghost.”

I nod, pushing aside my fears and focusing on the task at hand.

Finding Ghost. Doing my part in helping make Riven—the man I love—whole again. Well, as whole as he can be, given everything that’s happened to him.

So, we set off across the snow-covered landscape, our boots crunching through the fresh powder, leaving a path in our way.

Subtly, I call on air magic behind us, using as little as possible to send a breeze over the snow to cover up our tracks.

Hours pass. The sun sets. Stars emerge, their light clear and bright—perfect for following the map in the sky to lead us to the ancient woman.

Perfect for continuing our quest to find the ancient woman who might be able to help us save Riven’s father.

Instead, we’re still here, growing more desperate with each passing minute.

We have to try harder. Be less cautious.

I call Ghost’s name softly, not wanting to draw attention to us. But my voice carries across the snow and is swallowed by the silence.

Riven tries as well. “Ghost. Come on, boy,” he says, undeniable panic flashing in his eyes.

There’s nothing. No sound, no movement. Just the endless trees and snow.

Our calls grow more frantic, bouncing off the ice-covered branches. And with every step, the frustration inside me builds. Not just because of the growing hopelessness of this search, but because I can feel my hunger sharpening, the ache in my bones intensifying.

My fangs threaten to descend every time I glance at Riven—every time the memory of his fresh blood seeping out of his skin yesterday flashes through my mind.

His pulse… his warmth…

Stop, I tell myself. I have to stop.

“Ghost!” Riven stops, planting his hands on his hips as he stares out over the snow. “Where the hell is he?”

“He was here during the storm. He has to be somewhere,” I say, but the words feel hollow, since while he’s definitely here somehow, there’s no way of knowing if he’s alive or not.

I glance back up at the sky.

The stars are fully out now, shining brighter.

Riven follows my gaze.

Anger swirls in his eyes, and he raises his hands, blasting spears of ice at the nearest tree and splitting it in two.

“Ghost!” He splits another tree with his magic, the crack echoing through the clearing. “Ghost, where are you!”

A shadow shifts through the trees.

A flash of black.

“Riven—” I start to warn him, but the dark angel is already there, her black wings spread wide against the starlit sky, her eyes fiercely determined as she dives toward us.