4. ~Alena~

4

~Alena~

So many sympathies had been offered to me over the last couple of weeks.

The memorial a few days ago had obviously been the height of it, but even before that, I’d experienced so much of it.

The front gates were lined with flowers, rows upon rows of them that me and the boys had been sorting through.

People I didn’t even know had contacted me through text and email and many even over the home phone here in my family home.

Family home.

It couldn’t really be called that anymore now that both my mom and my dad were gone.

But I’d come here anyway. I guess it was the familiarity. It gave me some comfort. And my mom’s things were all over the place, kind of like she was still here.

But she wasn’t.

And it hurt all the more as I recalled all the stories about her that the guests at the memorial had imparted to me. Stories I’d had no clue about. People I’d had no clue about.

I’d hardly known that part of my mom. The leader of Exemplar part. She’d kept so much secret, so much away from me.

And yet, Orpheus had told me that she’d actually wanted me to follow in her footsteps after all, to become a part of it all.

It was a hell of a mind-fuck, to be honest.

So much of what had happened lately was.

It’d had my head spinning.

It had threatened to unleash a tidal wave of pain and grief.

I didn’t want that.

I didn’t want to be weighed down by it.

It had been difficult enough to move beyond my issue of being touched after what that madman had done to me, to being able to be with my guys again. And then to stop hiding myself in sweats, protecting myself in them really.

There was so much more to work through.

But I couldn’t.

I was finally free of the black magic, something my mom had made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure. My mind and body were clear. I wanted it to stay that way. I didn’t want to be bogged down by all the rest that urged me to deal with it, to feel it.

I just didn’t.

I needed a break from it.

That was exactly what I was going to do.

I had been hoping to go about that through having Orpheus work with me to understand my ability to annihilate dark magic, but he’d adamantly refused.

He’d cited that it was too dangerous.

What was dangerous was the fact that Constantine was still out there.

Yes, he was quiet right now after what my mom had done to him and taken from him, but that wouldn’t last. Not from somebody as psychotically determined as him. He’d be back, do something major, before we knew it. And the idea of not being ready for that didn’t sit well with me. I wouldn’t let it happen.

And, yeah, I wanted him to pay for what he’d done to me, to my mom, to all of us.

More than that, I wanted him dead.

It was something I could bring about too.

I was the last remaining being with angel blood and magic coursing through their veins. The one they should all be looking to.

But they weren’t.

Because of what had been done to me, they saw me as a problem rather than an asset.

I couldn’t accept that.

And I wouldn’t.

I had to go about things another way.

On my own.

But first I needed to master a certain skill.

Something Xavier had agreed to help me with.

He wanted to feel useful just like I did, to stop being discounted by the supernatural big wigs out there.

I couldn’t risk him by bringing him in on the full scope of my plan, but I could at least help him to feel needed through helping me here, teaching me how to hunt like a vampire. And it would also lead to him using those skills more and continuing to be more comfortable with that side of himself, something he’d told me that his therapist said he needed to continually work on.

We had a couple more weeks before Electi Academy reopened, so I was hoping I’d be able to get a lot of it down before we went back and were bogged down with classes, readings, and assignments.

“Why a vampire?”

I spun at the sound of Orpheus’ voice to see him leaning against the patio door, his arms folded across his chest as he regarded me shrewdly.

“What’s that?”

“Why do you want to learn to hunt like a vampire? Why not a phoenix? You could have asked Talon. More to the point, why not like a magic-wielder? Which you actually are. You could have asked me.”

“I already asked you to help me with something and you refused.”

“That was far too dangerous. This isn’t.” He raised an eyebrow. “Or, is it?”

“Why would it be dangerous? It’s just hunting here on the grounds, just picking up a new skill, something to keep me busy during this unfortunate break from the Academy.”

“So you’re going to kill a bunch of woodland creatures? You? The person who hates anybody suffering?”

Not anybody. Constantine was excluded from that.

“There won’t be any killing.”

“You do know what happens when a vampire completes their hunt and pounces on their prey, yes?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re being impossible.”

“And you’re being evasive.”

“Is this an interrogation?”

“Does it need to be?”

I sauntered toward him and got right up in his space. “Maybe I’d like to experience an interrogation at your hands.”

His eyes sparked and I saw his strain not to reach out and rise to the sexual intensity coming off me. “Let your dirty mind continue fantasizing about that.”

“Just fantasizing?” I teased, sliding my hands down his chest. “That’s a shame.”

“Careful, little angel.”

“Why?” I whispered at his ear as my hand reached his cock.

His very hard cock.

“Too intense for you?”

He snatched my hand and jerked it up between us. “No. You’re so determined to put an end to this conversation that you’ve resorted to trying to manipulate me. In a very favorable way for me, yes, but still.”

I jolted as his words hit home.

“Oh my God,” I breathed, jerking back from him. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“It’s all right. You’re going through a great deal. Mistakes like this are to be expected.” He smiled sweetly. “And you get a free pass.” He made me tense as he added, “For this.”

I frowned.

“Alena, if this is truly just a hobby you wanted to take up to keep yourself busy and to help Xavier at the same time, keeping him from gravitating toward the bottle, then more power to you. But if I find out it’s more than that, a path to use to hunt a certain someone else, know that it won’t end well. And I will stop you.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to scream at him that I was powerful enough to bring about Constantine’s demise, that I was powerful enough to do a whole lot of things, that I wouldn’t accept being shoved onto the sidelines instead.

But that would only escalate things in a very bad way.

It would only have him digging his heels in.

And it would definitely reveal my true intent with the hunting.

So, instead, I told him calmly, “I understand.”

He stared at me, a whole lot of suspicion all over him clear as day.

But then he simply gave a nod. “Good. Stay behind the ward. I’ll be assisting Tal with one of his overdue assignments if you need me.”

With that, he turned on his heel and sauntered back through the kitchen.

In the next moment, Xavier vamped around the corner and came to a stop right in front of me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in his usual astute way when it came to me.

“Nothing. Just Orpheus having a word with me.”

“Ah, well that’s never nothing.”

As he stood there looking so concerned for me, it hit me in the gut.

“Dammit, I can’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“The whole subterfuge thing like Orpheus does, like he’s so good at.”

“That sounds like a good thing to me? Except what subterfuge are you undertaking? It wouldn’t have something to do with this whole hunting thing, would it?”

“How did you know?”

He smiled. “I know you, beautiful. And it was also the way you asked me, the context that it went along with.” He flicked his hand and his cobalt-blue magic sparked briefly. “We can talk freely now.”

I shoved my hand through my hair. “The hunting… it wasn’t just to make us feel useful, to empower us, it had a larger purpose.”

“Constantine can’t be tracked magically because he’s cloaked, so you figured on tracking him like a vampire.”

I stared at him openmouthed.

“You knew that and you still agreed to help me?”

“You need this, we both need this. And I agree with you on the urgency too. The longer he’s out there, the worse it could be when he finally steps out of the shadows. He could be preparing, amassing another army covertly or hell knows what else. We’re on the same page, Alena.”

“What about Orpheus and his stance on it?”

“He’s not in the same position as we are. He’s being inducted into Exemplar soon. He’s gonna be at the head of the table. His perspective is different. He’s not being pushed onto the sidelines. And, more to the point, he’s not haunted and fucking traumatized in the same way that you and I are. Especially you.” He reached out and stroked my hair. “I’m with you on this. All the way.”

So much relief coursed through me that he wasn’t mad or upset, but mostly that he was on my side where this was concerned, that I wasn’t alone in this or having to lie to him.

It had me throwing my arms around him and holding him so tightly to me. “Thank you. Thank you, sweet thing.”

“Of course,” he said, eagerly wrapping me up in his arms.

“I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, beautiful.”

We stayed that way for a long while, each breathing the other in.

And then Xavier eased back a little to look at me. “Ready to learn a thing or two from me?”

“I’m willing, eager, and actually really excited to be doing this with you. And not just for our overarching reason.”

“Me too.”

I grinned up at him. “Then let’s get our hunt on.”