16. Nash

Chapter 16

Nash

D id I just go there with her? Yes, I did. I’m thirty years old, and we’re not kids anymore. I’m done pretending we don’t have what we’ve got here between us. We always have. I wanted her long before the night she came to me and told me she was pregnant and moving away with Richie motherfucking Sullivan. The town douchebag. And that gutted me. I still love her. It was pathetic, but it was what it was. And I couldn’t stop it. She’s always been special and was too good for me back then.

It will take time to convince her, but I’ll do it. I love her, and her kid is an amazing bonus. I want it all with her.

As I walk back to the bar, I think about how all of this has broken down over the past year. We’ve been slowly getting Everly back in her own time. She had to heal from the shit her ex put her through.

When Hayley called me last spring and said that we needed to go get them and bring them back to Cozy Creek for good, I didn’t even think twice about it. I just got in my truck and hit the road. When we got to her house, she was so drained emotionally and physically. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more broken-down person. It was hard not to beat the crap out of that guy. She’d been crying, and her eyes and face were swollen and red. Richie was passed out on their couch, not even coherent. He didn’t even come to as we packed up her stuff and loaded it up, but I was ready in case he did wake up. I wanted him to wake up so I could pound the shit out of him. I wanted him to know how badly he screwed it up with the love of my life. He could have had everything. The life she and I were supposed to have together. She was willing to try to build a life with him, and he threw them away like they didn’t even matter. The woman who I love with all my heart and her child. And fuck him for that. They’re going to be mine now.

We hauled her stuff, mostly clothes and memorabilia stuff and her daughter’s stuff back to the barn and got her set up at the ranch. She’d cried and leaned against the window of my truck the entire way back and said nothing. She was pretty much catatonic. She thanked me and carried her daughter into the farmhouse when we got there. She didn’t even try to speak to me until that night in my office when I kissed the hell out of her.

I’ve watched her come back to life over the past six months. She got a job at the library and got her home back, which she’s turned into a beautiful space for her and her daughter to heal and thrive in. I watched her enroll her daughter in school and make friends. The scared and timid kid came out of her shell, too. And her love for horses makes me so proud, and I want to help her with that. When Hayley texted me the picture of her homemade horseshoes, I went out to the barn and made four mini horseshoes for her stuffed horse. It took me hours, but seeing Willow happy was worth it. I want to buy her a horse of her own, but I’m biding my time. I want to give them everything because they deserve everything. I gave Everly her space and waited until she was ready. And she is, but she’s got one hand up blocking and protecting. I can’t say I blame her. I should have fought harder for her that night, but I felt the finality of it. She’d made her decision. Even though it hurt like hell, I had to let her go.

She’s an incredible mother, and her daughter is one lucky girl to have a mother like Everly. I don’t have a lot of memories of Everly’s mother, but I do remember her being kind and a good mom. I remember her being sick at the end and going to her funeral. Then we got to see a lot of Everly. She became one of us in all the ways that mattered. And she matters to me a whole lot.

I see her in her kitchen and watch the way that they live happily here and the home that they’ve created. Fuck if I don’t want that with them. I want to sip coffee at her kitchen table in the morning with coloring books sprawled out with crayons and colored pencils lined up. One page was sloppily colored and one colored in detail. She colors with her kid, and they are making memories here together. She’s giving Willow what she didn’t have here, and I know that’s important to her. This place heals her in a lot of ways that she needs it. Her kitchen is nice with a jar of homemade cookies out on the counter. She loves it there and takes good care of her kid and has made it a home that they want to come home to. I don’t want to leave when I come here.

I loved the fall bucket list on the counter next to those cookies. They’ve decorated it in fall colors and with pumpkin stickers. A few things had been checked off with an orange crayon. Everly’s always loved fall, and it’s clear that her kid does, too. They had everything on there from pumpkin picking to baking an apple pie.

Everly and Hayley dragged Kincaid and me to a lot of Halloween parties, haunted houses, and our town’s annual fall festival. Being the eldest, I was usually their mode of transportation, but I didn’t mind. I also didn’t mind when Everly got scared in the haunted house and would hold my hand or cling to me.

After Everly left, I hated everything that had to do with fall. If I could leave town and come back when the town transformed from fall into our tourist ski town full of snow, I would. Fall makes me remember Everly, and up until this year, I hated it. Now, all I can think about is helping them complete their fall bucket list and making sure every single one of the items on their list happens for them.

I can’t mess this up with her. It’s our time. She might not be there yet, but I am. And if I have to keep waiting for her, I will. That kiss told me everything I needed to know. She kissed me back as much as I kissed her, and having dinner with her in her kitchen felt so right.

I make it back to the bar and sigh when I look up at the dark windows above the bar. I don’t even want to go up there. This has never felt like my home. I have a bed, a recliner, and a TV. And my office with basic office furniture. No plants, books, or personal touches everywhere like at her house. No red cast-iron enamel pot on top of my stove with some fall stew or soup simmering in it like she had. I sure as hell don’t have fresh cookies on the counter in a cookie jar. It’s not a home, just a place to sleep. And I’ve lived like this for years. This time, it’s like life handed her to me on a silver platter, and I’m going to treasure everything about her and her daughter and treat them like they deserve. I’ll try like hell to make her see I’ve changed.

I step out of the shower and see that the phone I use for property management has notifications. She’s texting Reed instead of me. Only it is me, I groan as I read the text in anticipation.

Everly

Hey! Sorry, I haven’t had time to text back. It’s been a whirlwind over here. How are you doing?

I’m good. How are things with your friend?

Everly

He told me he loves me.

Oh, wow. How do you feel about that?

Everly

I’ve always loved him. But I just never thought he felt the same about me.

How come?

Everly

Because he’s…this ridiculous good-looking guy with a successful business who’s got his life together. He’s like the wholesome television show with an idyllic family and life. I’m just not sure I can measure up.

Why do you think that? You seem like a good person and mother to me.

Everly

Well, thank you for that.

Anytime.

What she’s saying makes me sad. I want to grab her and kiss her and remind her that she’s one of us and not a product of her prick father or how she grew up. Also, she called me ridiculously good looking, which makes me want to kiss her even more.

Everly

I don’t know if I can put myself out there again. I was just starting to figure out who I am and what I want in life. Adding Nash to the mix…complicates everything.

How does it complicate everything?

Everly

Well, if we don’t work out, I lose his whole family which is my family.

Maybe it’ll all work out. He seems like a great guy.

Everly

Do you know Nash?

Sure, everyone knows Nash. He’s a good guy.

I grit my teeth, trying not to make her cringe. I almost gave myself away.

Everly

He is a good guy. But I think I’m going to tell him that I need time to figure myself out first. I can’t just jump into this like he can. I have a lot of obligations right now.

Whatever you decide, it’ll work out. You deserve to be happy. I’m rooting for you guys.

Everly

Thanks, Reed. I appreciate you listening. I hope you have a good night, and I’ll text soon.

You too.

She’s probably going to be so pissed when she finds out this is me. I don’t want to risk messing things up with her. Maybe I should just not talk to her anymore or answer any of her future texts.

When Everly left, I was not in a good place. I was working as a bartender at Bookers and getting into trouble. I was twenty-two and acting like an entitled shit. Her dirtbag ex got her for eight years, and we missed out on every single one of those years. But now she’s back, and I have to show her how much I love her.