Chapter 9

Andrew

“ T ruth or Dare.”

Brandon’s eyes widened comically before he looked between me and the shot glasses. “How do you play that with booze?”

“Simple. You pick truth or dare. If you don’t want to tell the truth or complete the dare... you have to take a drink.”

He nodded, clearly thinking it over. “Is this a good idea?”

No, it was a terrible idea, but it seemed like the only way to get him to discuss what happened between us three years ago. I was selfish. Why was he so willing to give in the one time and then pretend like it never happened? Then again, I let him continue pretending instead of speaking up. Well, I could no longer pretend I didn’t have feelings for him. I couldn’t continue to watch him give himself to other people over and over again when I wanted it to be me. It should’ve been me.

I’d seen red when he’d messaged me earlier about Shawn. Of course, I knew our friend wasn’t interested in him, but it didn’t stop the flare of jealousy. It was why I’d gotten to the restaurant as quickly as I did; to prove that Shawn was that way with all of us.

Without answering the question, I poured Brandon another shot. He swallowed as I stared him down. “Truth or dare?”

Brandon fidgeted in his seat before turning and wrapping his fingers around his shot glass. “Truth...” The words were so quiet I almost missed them.

I had to be careful with my questions to prevent him from catching on and shutting down the game before I could get him to open up. “Have you ever thought of someone else while you were being intimate with another partner?”

His gaze snapped to me quickly, and his cheeks went pink. He swallowed roughly again. His fingers turned the shot glass as he decided whether to answer. “Have I—have I pictured someone else, you mean?”

I nodded. “You can say that. Wished it was someone else other than the person you were currently with.”

His shoulders sagged, and he let go of the shot glass, clearly choosing to answer the question. “I have. And I felt terrible when I did it.”

That had my interest, and before I could stop them, the words tumbled out of my mouth. “Who did you think about?”

Brandon stared, his cheeks going even more red before he picked up his shot glass and tossed back the liquid. He made a face again at the burn before he scowled at me. “In all fairness, I think you’re only supposed to ask one question.”

I laughed and refilled the glass. “So, by that logic, you didn’t have to take that shot.”

He rolled his eyes before turning to me. “What about you? Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

He tilted his head to the side and studied me briefly. “Have you? Thought about someone other than the person you were with at the moment?”

Unlike him, I wasn’t ashamed of it. For the last three years, there was only one person I’d wanted to think about. But it’d started long before then. “I’ve done it loads of times.”

Brandon sucked in a breath and turned back toward the counter. “How do you do it... and not feel bad about it? Shouldn’t you want to be in the moment?”

“I mean, ideally. The fact is that most times I’m not really serious about anyone. You know me. I’ve not dated seriously. Not in the last few years, anyway.” I hoped he understood what I was trying to say, and I hated the roundabout way that we were talking about this. In a perfect world, I’d sit him down and put it all out on the line. I’d give him my heart without hesitation, but I was afraid that he wouldn’t be as willing to take the chance. He’d already proven just how scared he was by being in denial for three years.

He didn’t wait for me to ask this time. “Truth. ”

It was almost like he was afraid of the dare; afraid of what I might ask him to do.

I needed the courage for this one and I grabbed my shot glass and threw back the drink. Brandon was already back to fidgeting with his drink, but I had his attention.

“Truth? Have you thought about that night?”

Brandon cleared his throat. He lifted his glass and then sat it back down, wavering on his decision. I wanted him to be brave, to tell me he hadn’t just swept it completely under the rug.

Then, my worst fear came to life when a look of confusion passed across his face and he furrowed his brow. “What night are you referring to?”

I refilled my glass and tossed it back. My throat was numb to the burn at this point, but that didn’t stop the irritation from flaring up. I wiped at my mouth as some of it had sloshed in my haste. “Don’t play stupid, Brandon. You know exactly what night I’m talking about.”

The hesitation was back. He lifted his glass again, and I caught myself pleading. “Please—please, Brandon.”

He sighed and set the glass back down. He rubbed at his temples before he looked at me. “I’ve thought about it. Probably more than I should.”

The tension between us crackled and snapped. I wanted to launch myself at him. Give in to every last thing I’d held back for the last three years, but that would push him too far, too fast .

“And why shouldn’t you think about it?”

Brandon didn’t break my stare. “What about you, Andrew? Truth or dare?”

A humorless laugh escaped me. He was still playing the game, and I just wanted to stop and talk like two grown adults, but I’d started it, and this was how we were going to finish it.

“Truth.”

“You’ve thought about it?”

I ran my fingers through my hair, holding back from pulling the strands and screaming. I’d obviously thought about it. Why do you think I’m playing this game with you, Brandon? “Constantly. So much that it drives me crazy sometimes.”

Brandon stared, like he couldn’t process what I was saying. He picked up his glass and tossed back the drink. We clearly weren’t following the rules of the game anymore. I was getting the answers I wanted. He was hearing what I had to say. What was the cost of all of this? Would Brandon freak out and tell me to leave?

“Why didn’t you...”

“Because you seemed so intent on pretending that it never happened.”

Brandon sighed, his shot glass still in hand. “You have to admit, it was better that way.”

Was it? We’d wasted so much time. All I’d wanted was him, and maybe he didn’t feel the same. This was possibly a big, huge waste, but I had to try .

The air was thick between us. We left so many words unsaid. We neglected to discuss our feelings. What kind of friends were we if we couldn’t communicate about these things? It made me question how close we really were.

But that was when it happened. The unthinkable. I was going to give up and move on when he looked right in my eye and said, “Dare.”