Chapter 5

Andrew

I didn’t know what came over me, but I needed to get away from Mrs. Davis. Something prompted me to check on Brandon in the back. His sudden collision caught me off guard as I rounded the corner.

“Jesus, Andrew. What are you doing back here?”

I chuckled before looking around the space. There were shelves of boxes and other supplies for the store, but other than that, it was quiet and empty. Without thinking about it, I backed Brandon into the wall. His eyes widened comically as I leaned in closer. I buried my nose into the spot where his neck and shoulder met and took a deep breath of him. I loved when he used his different oils. He always smelled so damn good.

When Brandon released a shuddery breath, I backed away from him. His cheeks turned pink, and he swallowed a few times. It wasn’t unusual for me to get in his space like that, but it was getting harder and harder to keep from erasing my boundary lines. I desired to return to that night three years ago and relive it. To feel his lips against mine and hear those little contented sounds of pleasure that had fallen from his mouth.

“Your mom is going to suffocate me. I wanted to check on you, not answer a million questions.”

My answer seemed to snap Brandon out of whatever hazy spell he’d been under. He cleared his throat and bent down to pick up the box. “I’m fine. It’s business as usual here.” He tried to move around me, but I stood in his way.

“You had a lot happen yesterday. Did you tell your parents about that jackass dumping you?”

Brandon deflated, setting the box back on the floor and leaning against the wall. He wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed them up and down. “No. Not yet. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it much. Maybe that’s a sign that he wasn’t all that special.”

My heart gave an involuntary tug. Even though I knew it was complicated, I hated Brandon giving himself so willingly to everyone else, but not me.

Brandon briefly rubbed his forehead, avoiding eye contact as he scanned the room. “I would’ve gotten you milk when I got off of work.”

He was deflecting. “It’s fine. I probably don’t need to be occupying your space all the time, anyway. I’ve overstayed my welcome by assuming I could stay this morning.”

When his gaze snapped to mine, hurt filled his deep brown eyes. “Why would you ever think that? ”

I shrugged, but what I really wanted was for him to tell me I was always welcome, which I was, but I needed him to tell me that. “I don’t know.”

“You never need an invitation.”

And there it was. My whole body filled with warmth as I gave him my brightest smile. He returned it with a grin before I hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and then headed out of the bookstore. It was one thing to assume that I could just take over his apartment; it was something different to just show up at his place of work. Sure, his parents knew me, and we’d been in each other’s lives since forever, but I’d been pushing things lately.

Our friends’ jokes about us looking like a couple didn’t help, which was what caused most of his relationships to end. I longed for it to be true with all my being. I’d wanted it to be true since that fateful kiss. I’d always found Brandon attractive, but he’d safely lived in an untouchable territory until we’d caved in. The floodgates had opened. I wanted more, so much more. I just wasn’t sure how to breach our walls while protecting our friendship.

The streets were interspersed with people walking, most of them in groups of young college-aged kids. It felt strange to be on the opposite side, the graduate, still living in the part of town where I got my education over the past four years. But this was still home. I’d be stuck until I found a degree-related job. The university claimed to prefer hiring their own graduates, but I had no luck there .

When I got to the small convenience store, I grabbed a half gallon of milk and paid for it before heading back to Brandon’s apartment. It felt weird being here without him sometimes, but it was better than my tiny-ass, empty apartment. I was jealous that he’d been able to get such a large place. Seattle wasn’t cheap, and his parents had helped him get it because the bookstore did fairly well.

I pulled the box of granola out of the cupboard and poured it into a bowl before pouring some milk over it. At least this didn’t taste bad. People made fun of Brandon a few times for his “crunchy” lifestyle, but it made him unique. I was used to it, having grown up with him.

Once I finished eating, I washed my bowl and stripped back down to my underwear. I wanted to be comfortable, and I had nothing that would fit me at Brandon’s place. It was odd that I didn’t leave clothes here since I was here so often. Though it would cause more issues in his dating life.

Then I did the unthinkable. I crawled into his bed and buried my face against his pillow. My lungs filled with his sweet smell as my cock sprung to life. My fingers crawled beneath the waistband of my boxer briefs, wrapped around the rigid flesh, and gave it a squeeze. It felt so wrong to be doing this in his bed when he wasn’t here... or to be doing it thinking about Brandon, period.

When I came way too quickly, surrounded by so many things that were all Brandon, I found it hard to feel ashamed.

“ A ndrew?”

I jumped when Brandon called my name. It wasn’t like I had a lot to be guilty of, other than jerking off in his bed. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last if I had anything to say about it—because I wanted to change his mind about us.

Watching Brandon make the wrong choice over and over again was getting tiring. There was only so much I could take before I said enough was enough. I wanted him to be mine in every way. The problem was getting him over his stubborn streak about it.

“I’m in here,” I called from his bedroom. I was presentable now, having dug out a pair of sweats that I’d apparently stashed here after all. When he came into the room, I set the book I’d been reading on my lap and my heart did that fluttery thing it always did when he smiled at me.

Damn. It really was too bad that he was fresh from a breakup.

“Were you lazy all day?” he asked as he pulled his sweater over his head and went to his dresser to pull out a t-shirt. I watched in awe as he exposed all that creamy skin. My fingers itched to trail down the expanse of his chest, to familiarize myself with it more intimately.

“No,” I laughed. “If you remember, I got out today.”

Brandon’s cheeks turned rosy as he held the shirt half on-half off. He appeared lost in thought, then casually shrugged and concealed what I desired to see and touch. I never understood his need to cover up. Brandon had always been that way. Unlike the rest of us, he was shy about walking around shirtless. He didn’t need to be because he had an amazing body.

He sat next to me on the bed and picked the book up off my lap. Brandon studied the cover before setting it on the nightstand next to his bed. “I didn’t know that you liked cozy mysteries.”

Now it was my turn to shrug. “I don’t know. I’ll read just about anything. That was on your shelf and it looked good.”

My eyes zeroed in on how Brandon gnawed on that bottom lip of his. When he released it, it was slick with saliva and I wanted to lean forward and swipe my tongue across it, familiarize myself with his taste. When I looked up, that blush was back, and I knew he’d caught me watching him.

Brandon cleared his throat and stood from the bed. He quickly made for the doorway and called over his shoulder on the way. “I brought home a pizza from that place near the store. I know they’re a little pricey, but I swear it’s the best.” And just like that, he left the room .

I wanted to laugh. He was so easily flustered sometimes. I stood and stretched my arms over my head, letting my back pop a few times before following him into the other room. He stood in front of the pizza box at his kitchen island, setting out two plates.

“You didn’t need to do that.” I came up behind him and wrapped him in a hug. Brandon went completely rigid in my hold. I hated it when he tensed up because it wasn’t like him. We were always at ease with each other. It wasn’t unusual to be physically intimate, either. This was only a hug.

Brandon snorted a laugh. “I like treating you to nice things.”

I kissed the side of his head when he finally relaxed in my arms. We helped ourselves to slices of pepperoni pizza and sat on the couch in front of his TV. He turned it on and pulled up a streaming service to watch a movie. It was so simple, but it was us. I lived for these moments and hoped that I would never lose them, even if things changed.