Chapter 23

Andrew

B randon seemed like he was on edge. Like he didn’t trust himself not to cling too hard like he had the other night.

We sat on the couch in my apartment, watching a movie. Even as the credits rolled, Brandon was still silent. It was so weird. Usually, he talked throughout the movie, pointing out his observations and explaining how he would’ve done a scene differently. It didn’t matter if we’d seen the movie a million times.

Something was so off with him. Ever since we started exploring this thing between us, he hadn’t been himself at all. The thought niggled that perhaps it had been a mistake to change the dynamic of our relationship.

It had been three days since he got drunk. We never discussed it again, and nothing progressed, either. It’s like driving through flat plains. No hills, mountains, or dips in the road. Just a flat surface. We should be moving forward by now. Brandon had talked about wanting to take care of me, and while exciting, I didn’t know what that meant for us exactly. Just him being in my life was enough. Brandon was my best friend. My sole purpose. My everything. Now, I was starting to question things .

When he stood and quietly walked to the bed, I knew something was up. This wasn’t like him at all. He wrapped his arms around himself as he sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the front door as though he was ready to make a run for it at any second.

“What’s wrong?”

Brandon licked his lips before he looked at me. His dark eyes were so full of emotion, swimming with so much concern and uncertainty. “Do you want this?”

It was hard not to laugh at the question. I didn’t want him to think I was laughing at him, but I had made it clear I wanted him. Had wanted him. Did I still want him?

“What do you mean?”

He pinched his eyes closed as his arms tightened around himself. “It’s been three days. We’ve been in the clear for three days...” He took another deep breath before those expressive eyes popped back open, brimming with tears. “And it’s like you don’t want to touch me now.”

I was across the room with my arms around him in less than a heartbeat. He was trembling in my embrace, but it had never been my intention to make him feel that way. We’d jumped into things so hot and heavy when we were supposed to take it slow. Maybe that was what led to some of his freak out the other night. It was good to slow things down, but maybe I should have talked to him about that first instead of just making the decision for us.

“Brandon, that’s the furthest thing from the truth. ”

It was his turn to laugh now, but he didn’t push me away. Instead, he wound himself around me, legs around my waist and arms around my neck. His head rested on my shoulder as hot tears soaked into my shirt. “Then why haven’t we done anything?”

I trailed my hands up and down his back, doing my best to soothe him. His whole body continued to shake and quiver with the force of his sobs. “You didn’t ask? We didn’t try? I don’t have a solid answer for you there. But right now doesn’t seem like the best time, either. I want it to be romantic as shit, especially for our first time. I want to be with you and take care of you. You and your body deserve to be worshiped, not some fast fumbling. We have time. Nothing but time.”

Brandon’s sniffles slowed, but he didn’t relax his hold on me. He continued to keep his face buried in my shoulder, so when he spoke, his words were muffled.

“I appreciate you. So much. I feel like such an idiot.”

My hands continued their soothing motion on his back. Brandon’s fingers picked at the back of my shirt until I lay back in bed, dragging him down next to me. He finally lifted his head to look at me, eyes puffy beneath those glasses.

“You should never feel like an idiot for telling me you’re unsure about something. We were both scared going into this. I think that some of these feelings are only natural, especially with how close we are. ”

We lay there in silence for a while until I lifted his glasses from his face and placed them on the nightstand behind him. Brandon snuggled into my chest and I held him close until his breathing evened out. I didn’t know how to help him when he was so emotional like this. He’d never been this clingy before, and I didn’t know what to make of it. He’d been close to a few boyfriends over the years, but never to this degree, though I understood I was different. I wasn’t just a boyfriend. I was his best friend.

Instead of continuing to dwell on things, I let my eyes drift close and join him in sleep. We could worry about things again tomorrow.

Besides, I now had to think of another way to make things romantic for him.

“ H e’s okay, though, right?”

I laughed at Rebecca’s question. We walked out of the store after another grueling shift, and the wind bit at my cheeks. I pulled my jacket around myself as tightly as possible as I looked around the almost empty parking lot. “He’s good. I just need to figure something special out. ”

“Flowers. Take him flowers.”

My eyes rolled. “I don’t think that Brandon is really the flower type.”

Rebecca’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Well, is there something that he likes? Something special you could bring him?”

The smile that spread across my face hurt. I knew exactly what to bring him and I had just enough cash to swing it. Checking to see if the other stores were still open, I looked down the street and waved to my friend. “I think I got it. Thank you.”

Rebecca waved as we parted ways.

I always hated liquor stores. Not that there were many dedicated ones left in Washington state. The ones that were left were often grimy and sketchy as hell. This place wasn’t any better. There was a burned out light in the back that kept flickering and the floors looked like they needed to be mopped. Hell, they’d passed that point two years ago. A glass counter protected all the neatly stacked bottles along the back wall. A middle-aged man with thinning hair leaned against it and watched me as I came inside.

“Can I help you with anything, son? Got I.D. on you?”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I wanted to get what I came in here to buy and get the fuck out. My fingers fumbled for my wallet, pulled out my driver’s license, and handed it over. Once the man confirmed I wasn’t some kid looking to buy booze, he returned my I.D., and I searched the store to find what I needed .

“I’m looking for tequila.”

The man chuckled, walking over to the display. “I’ve got lots of tequila. You got anything in particular in mind? The cheap stuff?” He asked, holding up a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Not that I didn’t like the brand. We drank it plenty, but if I was bringing home a special treat, this didn’t call for the “cheap stuff.”

“I’m thinking something nicer. Maybe an A?ejo, or an extra A?ejo?”

A grin split the man’s face as he put the bottle of Jose back on the shelf. “Ah, a guy who knows his tequila. My kind of guy.” He then pulled down a clear bottle with a deep amber liquid. It was corked instead of capped and he held it out to me. “This is a premium anejo. One hundred and seventy-five dollars.”

I coughed at the price. Brandon was worth it, but I’d never spent so much money on something that was supposed to be drunk. The man laughed at my reaction before placing it back on the shelf. He pulled down another. This was also a deep amber color, with a wooden cork. “This one, only one hundred dollars.”

The price was still steep, but not as bad as the first. Brandon would love it. I nodded quickly, pulling my wallet back out and handing over my debit card. I’d never spent this much money on booze. It made me itchy, and I hoped it would be safe on the bus ride to Brandon’s place.

After he rang up my purchase, the man wrapped it in a bag and placed it in another paper bag before handing it over to me .

“Are you celebrating something special?”

“Not celebrating. It’s a special gift.” My voice came out in a squeak.

The man nodded. “I hope they like it.”

I shot out of the store and ran to the bus stop with the bottle tucked under my arm. Now to pray that Brandon loved it.