Chapter 12

Brandon

T his was nice. Almost too nice.

My chest felt tight; like panic was trying to set in. I didn’t want to ruin anything, and if Andrew hadn’t had his fingers threaded through mine under the table, I would have been completely losing my shit at that point.

“Go figure you two would beat us here.” Nathan plopped into the chair across from us and Chase joined him at his side.

I gave them a smile and my heart beat a little faster. My hand squeezed Andrew’s tightly before I let go and then rested it on top of the table. He looked over at me, brow furrowed in confusion.

Nathan and Chase seemed completely oblivious to anything going on, and I intended to keep it that way. Perhaps I should’ve talked to Andrew about this first, but I wasn’t ready to tell our friends about our being together yet. I didn’t fear they’d be unsupportive. Chase had been encouraging and an ear I could talk to. But for now, I liked how it was just the two of us only knowing. It was sacred. I wanted to enjoy ourselves alone together without our friends hammering us with questions .

“If you didn’t want us to get here before you, maybe don’t pick a place so close to my apartment,” I teased.

Chase laughed. “The problem is most of the better places are closer to you and God knows I don’t want to be near the restaurant on my days off.”

A waiter came by and dropped off menus. We looked them over for a minute before Nathan put his down and stared at the two of us. My neck prickled as my anxiety spiked. There was no way he could tell just by looking at us, right? We weren’t acting suspicious at all, were we?

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

The most awkward laugh in the world escaped me and I wanted to hit myself for being so damn obvious. “Why would you think something was wrong?”

Nathan looked back and forth between me and Andrew before shaking his head and picking back up his menu. I relaxed for the briefest of moments until he answered. “You both just seem very tense. And Andrew is unusually quiet.”

“I’m just tired,” Andrew answered, leaning against the table. He’d set his menu down and rubbed at his temples for added effect. At least he seemed to get the memo that we weren’t announcing anything yet.

Nathan seemed to accept the answer, and a weird silence settled over our group until the waiter came back to take our orders .

The restaurant wasn’t anything fancy, only serving soups and sandwiches. It reminded me of the soup Andrew and I had eaten the other day, and how I couldn’t figure out if that had been a date or not. Would it be weird to ask him now?

Once the food came out and everyone started digging in, I couldn’t take the silence any longer. This wasn’t a fun outing with friends if we were all going to sit around and stare at each other.

“We got this shipment in the other day and over half the books were destroyed. I’d never seen a box like that before. Some covers were ripped clean off.”

Everyone at the table blinked at me. Sure, it was a random choice of topic, but it got us talking.

Andrew chuckled, taking another bite of his ham and cheese sandwich before wiping crumbs from his lips and setting his food back down on a plate.

“You’re so protective of those books,” he finally said when he’d finished chewing and swallowing.

My face heated as I nodded.

Nathan and Chase exchanged a knowing look. The tension in the air still felt thick, almost suffocating. I needed someone else to say something before I spilled my guts about me and my best friend hooking up.

“Were they donated, or did your parents order them from somewhere? ”

My shoulders instantly relaxed when Nathan asked the question. I cleared my throat and scratched at the back of my neck. “I’m not sure. It wasn’t an order I placed, so it could have been a donation. Someone was probably trying to clear out some junk because some books were sort of old.”

Nathan nodded. I appreciated it when my friends pretended they were interested in the store. I could be a bit of a geek about it sometimes.

When the quiet settled between the group again, I picked at the bread of my BLT. The idea of eating something made my stomach do a weird flip. God, this was terrible. I was so bad with secrets.

“Nathan and I are going to take a trip out to the beach to help Drew and Gabi pack up the house. Gabi got accepted into the nursing program at the UW Tacoma campus. I was going to ask if either of you felt up to cat-sitting for us, but I think Aiden would have my head.”

Just like that, the remaining tension was gone.

When Chase had first moved in with Nathan, he’d brought his cat with him. Aiden had formed an instant bond with Oreo and, at one point, Chase had worried that he’d have to give up his cat to his boyfriend’s brother.

Nathan shoved Chase’s shoulder and the two of them started laughing. “Aiden will live. ”

Chase’s eyes widened comically. “Tell me I’m lying. I’m still not convinced he’s not going to take her with him whenever he comes over.”

“Baby, you’re being ridiculous.” Nathan leaned in and kissed Chase on the nose, which quickly turned into real kissing. I shifted in my seat, looking away from the spectacle they were making right there in the restaurant. Andrew shifted beside me. Was he uncomfortable with their open displays of affection as well?

When they finally broke apart, Chase at least looked a little embarrassed by how carried away they’d gotten. It was great that they were so in love. They both deserved it.

This time, when everyone went back to eating, I didn’t feel like our friends were picking apart every last move I made.

“ A re you all right?”

I huffed as I flopped back onto my mattress.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

Andrew chuckled as he pulled my glasses from my face and placed them on the nightstand. He leaned over and kissed my nose before gently running his fingers through my hair. My body unwound its tension with his intimate care.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

Another deep sigh escaped me. I wanted to sit here and just enjoy him petting me and not have to talk about the deep stuff. “Because I didn’t say anything to our friends.”

Andrew’s fingers stilled and then sat up. My body tightened, terrified he was going to leave in anger because I’d just reminded him I hadn’t been honest with our friends.

Before I knew what was happening, Andrew scooted behind me and pulled me so that I was spooned and resting against his chest. He kissed the crown of my head. “Don’t you want to tell them about us?”

When his arms wrapped around me, I threaded our fingers together and squeezed his hands. “We didn’t talk about it, but I sort of like keeping it between us for now. At least until we completely figure things out.”

Andrew’s chuckle stirred my hair, but I liked the feel of the rumble against my back. “If keeping it between us means you’re going to be super tense like today, is that really smart?”

I pulled away slightly, turning my head to give Andrew a half-hearted glare. “I was only so tense because we didn’t talk about a plan.”

Pretending to be mad at Andrew was nearly impossible. Even with my shitty eyesight, it was hard to not drown in the dark brown swirl of his eyes. Andrew exuded protection and caring. He’d always been my solid rock and now he was all mine, as scary as that was.

Nothing else needed to be said between us. I was exhausted after the day and wanted to just curl into my best friend and rest. Then I suddenly remembered the question I’d been curious about during lunch.

As we lay there, snuggled against each other on the bed, my heart beat just a little faster as I asked what I’d been wondering about. “The other day, when you gave me the book?”

Andrew sighed. “What about it?”

I laughed. “Don’t laugh at me, okay? I’m probably overthinking it, but you picked me up and took me for lunch. Was that a date?”

There was another kiss to the back of my head and I melted for Andrew just a little more.

“It was whatever you wanted it to be.”