Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Autumn

A fter breakfast, Zane finally gives me a full tour of the house. There are so many beautiful, hidden elements and images carved into every nook and cranny. The house is a testament to his mother’s love, and I think she designed it for him, knowing it was her last gift.

It’s fun strolling through the house with him and walking down memory lane. I can see how much joy it brings him to open up about his past and share parts of his heart that are covered in dust.

“And last but not least, the library,” he says, opening the curtains, and the light burns bright in the room. My mouth falls open and a chill runs over me as I look at the storybook shelves, which have different fairytales intricately carved into the wood.

“It’s…beautiful,” I say.

“My thoughts when I look at you.” He leads me from one side of the room to the other.

“The story starts here.” He points to the far left shelf. “A picture tale.”

A woman dances alone through fields, across mountains, over the ocean, even in space. She dances through the forest and stops to pet animals like bunnies and foxes. The seasons change and the woman continues to dance, spin, and pass up festivals and parties. She travels and travels.

My eyes devour the carvings like a movie as I scan up and down the shelves.

And when we’re halfway across the room, the hand-carved woman runs into a man. He holds out his hand to her. Then, they spin through the world together. It’s happiness: they’re surrounded by butterflies, birds, and rainbows. It rains on them, but the sun always returns. Happiness always returns. They take time to stop and smell the flowers together. They buy bread and share it with the animals. The pair continue to spin and music notes splash out of their mouths as they sing. Or maybe it’s an announcement.

Two small children appear, and then the four of them dance together. Happy. In the end, storm clouds, rainbows, and butterflies. After that are three figures: the man, the little boy, and the little girl. The rest of the shelves are bare.

I burst into tears.

“Sweetheart.” He searches my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“It’s sad.”

“Every carving in the house. On the stairs. In the pantry. They’re how my mom told her life stories. You can look at it like the shelves are bare, but I like to think that they’re waiting for a new love story.”

He wipes at the tears with his thumbs before kissing them away.

Where the carvings end, there is a gold copy of Pride and Prejudice . At this angle, it shines and sparkles in the light like a diamond. I pull it from the shelf and flip through the pages until a folded note falls out.

I pick it up and Zane grins. I try to hand it to him.

“Read it to me.”

I carefully set the book down. Then I begin.

My smart, beautiful, talented son,

Hi! It looks like you found a letter that I left you. I wasn’t sure you’d ever find this one, so the fact that you did it is a miracle. Deep down, I know you’ll find them all, eventually. Were you looking at the carvings on the bookshelf? I used it like a finish line.

If the curtains are open and it’s mid-day, this book shines from a certain angle. Is that what caught your attention? I wish I knew the answer.

“Zane. Is this from your mom?”

He chuckles, kissing my forehead. “It is.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to read it later?”

“Please,” he urges me to continue. “Nothing is a coincidence, remember?”

I recently had a dream about you as a grown man who is married and happy. I woke up crying because witnessing it was so beautiful. It felt real, and I woke up with goosebumps. Your wife was gorgeous, funny, and had a contagious laugh. I loved her. So did Harper. Everyone did. That pretty girl loved you without boundaries—your perfect match.

It was so vivid. The two of you were married on the mountain, at the little chapel on the outlook. It was your favorite season. I remember how orange the leaves were.

You exchanged beautiful, heartfelt vows at my favorite time of day when the sun makes the world shine like gold. I was there with you, and we were a happy family.

When you do get married, wherever you are, I will be there with you in butterfly flutters. I promise.

Goosebumps trail over my skin. Tears stream down my cheeks, and I don’t know if I can continue reading.

Zane wipes his face and I wrap my arms around him, holding him so fucking tight, like he might disappear if I let him go. It’s too raw and deep.

“How did...?” I ask, inhaling him, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he holds me, too.

“I’m not sure.”

The embrace is safe and comforting.

“Fuck, you feel like home, Pumpkin.”

I pull away, meeting his sparkling eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He slides his lips across mine. “Continue, please.”

I nod, swallowing hard. The emotions on the page are almost too much. But I do it for him and his mom.

So tell me, are you in love right now? Have you found The One yet? Whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with will be so special. Your heart is so kind and loving. I know hers will be, too. I hope she reminds you of who you are and who you will always be…

My thoughtful son who forgives quickly and doesn’t hold grudges.

My hopeful son who believes in magic and wishes on stars.

My hungry son who can eat an entire stack of pumpkin pancakes alone.

My loyal son who isn’t afraid to stand up for what’s right.

My happy son who loves the snow and still makes snow angels.

My generous son who gives and shares with those who need it most.

My adventurous son who faces his fears head-on.

My sweet son who wears his heart on his sleeve and loves with his whole self.

Please don’t ever let the world harden you, Zane.

Remember, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, we don’t know what that reason is, or don't agree with it. All we can do is go with the flow, take what life gives us, and continue forward with a grateful heart.

No matter how hard life gets, it’s better than the alternative. You still have another chance to right your wrongs and make a difference.

Life is so precious and beautiful and fragile.

There was a time when I didn’t know if I’d find true love, and then randomly, I met your father. The moment our eyes met, I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with him. Oh, how I wish it were longer. But then again, five hundred years wouldn’t be enough. In a way, I’m glad I’m going first because I wouldn’t have survived heartbreak like that.

Your dad will. You will. And Harper will, too. Your sister has the two of you to remind her that life goes on and the world is still beautiful even though bad things happen to good people.

Now, I do have some marriage tips for you when that time comes.

1. Kiss each other good night every single night. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

2. Never go to bed angry. I don’t care what happened.

3. Laugh until your stomach hurts. It’s healthy for the soul.

4. Say I love you as much as you can. One day, you might not be able to.

5. Take a ridiculous number of pictures together. It’s the only way to turn back time.

6. Be each other’s best friend. Because together, you can conquer anything.

7. Share secrets and communicate. And never repeat what’s said.

8. Forgive easily. Sometimes, it’s the only way to move forward.

9. Love one another without barriers. Because then it’s limitless.

I decided today that I’m leaving my engagement ring for you.

When you were close to four years old, there were many nights when you’d twist it around my finger and tell me how pretty it was. The light would catch it at a certain angle and it would shine like a diamond in the sky. You loved it. Please don’t feel pressured to use it, but I wanted you to have it for your special person. And you’ll know who it should go to when the time comes, deep in your heart.

I have many wishes in this life. One of them is that you find your forever person sooner rather than later. Time is too precious to waste.

I could probably write you a novel about love and how incredible it is when you truly find it. Fifteen-year-old you would groan loudly when I talked about these things. I hope adult you appreciates it.

If you find this letter before your big day, please come back and reread this when the time comes. Perspective makes old things seem new again.

Sealed with my everlasting love,

Mom

PS. I’ve written thirteen letters for you and hid them in different places at Hollow Manor because you always loved a scavenger hunt. What number is this? Ah well. Happy hunting!

I fold the letter and hand it to Zane, glancing down at the ring on my finger. He twists the diamond around.

I look up, meeting his soft eyes. “All this time, I thought I manifested you, but I actually think your mom manifested me.”

He laughs, squeezing me a little tighter. “I love you so damn much that it almost hurts.”

“I love you, too.” I meet his gaze. “You’re all I want in life.”

“You’ve got me, Pumpkin. For eternity.”