16. Cole

Chapter 16

Cole

That kiss.

That fucking kiss was everything I knew it would be from the moment I first laid eyes on her.

But I should not have taken it that far. No matter what she said, it was not okay. No matter how much I wanted to do it again and again, I couldn’t.

I wanted to be there for her like no one had been there for me the night I saw my wife and my best friend together as a couple for the first time and lost my mind.

My intention was pure, but I allowed myself to get carried away, and I owed Madi an apology.

“I should check on my sisters.” She turned to the window where the scene in the parking lot seemed to have calmed down. They were talking by Riley’s car, and Hanna and Ross were gone.

“I don’t know what to think about any of this, what he did, and why he did it here. But you know what? It’s over and done with, right?”

“Yes. You don’t have to think about him ever again.” I wished I could never think about Sherry again, but having kids with her made that impossible.

“I was finished with him when I got here, and I won’t let him destroy my peace of mind. I want zero thoughts in my head, like when we were kissing. Let’s get out of here. I can feel everyone watching me, and I can’t stand it.”

“Absolutely.” Apologies could come later; now was not the time to make it about me. I took her hand and led her outside, where we met her sisters.

“I’m so sorry, Madi.” Abigail threw herself into Madi’s arms and burst into tears. “I never would have started drinking if I knew he was planning to show up tonight. I ruined everything.”

Madi rubbed circles around Abigail’s back as she soothed her. “Shh, I know you wouldn’t have. Riley told me what you two had planned, and it would have been fun, okay? You were trying to make this easy for me. You didn’t ruin anything, I swear.”

“Really?” She sniffled and pulled out of Madi’s arms.

“Are you the one who cheated on me? Are you a selfish, lying jackass? No, you aren’t. That is who Ross is. I thought I had broken his heart. I felt terrible for leaving him like I’d been asking too much of him or putting pressure on him to do something he wasn’t ready for. Can you believe that?”

“He was good at pretending to be sweet,” Abigail said. “We all loved him. Don’t beat yourself up.”

“Men are sneaky like that, and it sucks,” Riley added.

“Of course, they weren’t talking about you, Cole.” Madi smiled reassuringly at me. “You’ve always been an open book with me, and Gigi loves you. Gigi is never wrong.”

“Of course not.” I chuckled. “I think there are people who cheat and people who would rather die than cause that kind of pain, and when they end up together, it always gets ugly before it blows up. Relationships are complicated because you never know what type you will get.”

“The collateral damage is real and far-reaching, isn’t it?” Riley’s voice was sad as she agreed with me.

“Yup. Then the cheaters go on their merry way and leave the rest of us to clean up their messes.” I knew Riley was divorced, but I hadn’t realized we had this much in common.

“This is getting way too real for me,” she stated. “I feel l need to go home and crawl into bed. I’m having flashbacks from my divorce.”

“Go home, it’s okay.” Madi hugged her. “Take Abigail with you, and you two get some rest. I’ll be fine.”

“There is no way you are fine, my selfless sister.” Riley kissed Madi’s cheek and smiled at her in sympathy. “Tonight was horrific. We should start a club or a support group. Cheated On Anonymous or something.”

“That’s not a bad idea. But I really am fine, I promise you. I was holding on to some guilt for having so many expectations of Ross. He killed all those feelings tonight. I’m embarrassed about how it all came out. But I also feel free.”

“You should feel free, I’m glad. I’m sorry we ever introduced you to him in the first place.”

“I’m sorry too, Madi.” Abigail had a hand on Riley’s car for support. She looked queasy. “I also need to lie down with a barf bowl and maybe some crackers to soak up all the alcohol. What was I thinking?”

“It’s Bookers.” Riley laughed. “You always get drunk here.”

“True. They have the best margaritas in the entire world. But I’m pissed we never got to eat dinner.”

“Do you need a ride home?” Riley asked me. “We could drop you off.”

“I’ll walk. It’s just around the corner. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good.”

“My kids are with my ex tonight, so I don’t have to rush home. I’ll drive her,” I volunteered. Cozy Creek was a pretty safe town. But it was getting late, and she was upset.

“Good. Thanks, Cole. We’ll call you in the morning, Madi.”

We waved goodbye, and then I led her to my truck. “Let’s get you home.”

I guided her to my truck, taking her hand to help her climb into the cab. She’d put on a good show for her sisters, but I could tell she was still shaken. I leaned over and helped her buckle up. “You’ll be okay,” I whispered.

Her eyes, shiny with unshed tears, met mine as she nodded. A feeling of rightness settled into my chest. I kissed her forehead and then closed the door.

The drive was short, just up the street. I pulled to a stop near the alley behind the Confectionery where the outdoor entrance to the apartments was.

“Thank you for driving me.” She opened the door to get out, and I touched her shoulder to stop her.

“I have to apologize to you again.”

She turned to face me. She was breathtaking in the moonlight.

“Are you sorry it happened?” she asked. Her gorgeous brown eyes shimmered, and her lips were still swollen from our kisses. She was more beautiful than any woman I’d ever seen in my life. “Or are you sorry because you think you took advantage of me in a weak moment?”

“I meant it to be a peck. A way for you to show everyone you’d moved on. I didn’t mean to make out with you against the wall. I took advantage of you, and it was wrong. I let my feelings take over when I should have been taking care of you like I said I would.”

“You didn’t take advantage of me,” she insisted. “I wanted it. I asked you for more, didn’t I? I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you ever since I arrived in Cozy Creek. And I want to do it again. For real, this time. With nobody around. Can we?”

At a loss for words, I blinked and didn’t answer.

She wanted me to kiss her?

She ducked her face, hiding from me behind the fall of her hair. “Um, unless you don’t want to. Did I misread you, Cole?”

“Misread me? It’s taken all I have in me not to kiss you every time I see you, Madi. So, no. You have not misread me.”

“It felt real. In Bookers, I mean,” she whispered.

“Because it was real. But I’m not going to kiss you again right now. I took advantage of the situation, and it was wrong.”

“Oh.” Her eyes drifted out the window, dejected.

“You kiss me this time. Do anything you want to me. Climb in my lap, shove me against the door, take what you need, go as far as you want⁠—”

She grabbed my collar and yanked me close, bumping our noses together. “God, I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she smoothed over the fabric of my collar with a dainty hand, then stroked down the bridge of my nose with a delicate fingertip. “I get clumsy when I’m nervous.”

Damn, that tiny touch on my nose almost undid me. I felt it to the tips of my toes.

“You don’t have to be nervous with me, and please don’t be sorry, Madi. Just kiss me, and don’t fucking stop. Please,” I begged, pressing my hands to the seat at my sides. I didn’t want to scare her off with my eagerness to be close to her. I was hers to take, and I silently vowed not to touch more than she offered me.

I would never take advantage of her again.

Her lush breasts pushed my upper body back against the door of my truck as she leaned across the seats and pressed herself close to me.

The tip of her tongue teased my upper lip as her hands slid up my chest and into my hair. I opened my mouth for her with a groan. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss and mint, with just a hint of tequila, and I was in so much trouble right now.

My hands itched to pull her close and feel her against me, like in the corner at Bookers. But the truck’s console was in the way. Then, there was the fact that we were parked outside in a relatively public place.

Damn, I wanted more than what I could have right now. She fit me to perfection. Like she was made to be with me, and this was only one of the millions of kisses we had shared.

And who knew? Maybe in another lifetime, she was already mine. This was pure, beautiful torture. My dick ached, straining against the fly of my jeans. I was so hard for her that it hurt.

Then my stomach growled and ruined it all.

She broke the kiss with a giggle. “I’m hungry too. They promised me cheese fries at Bookers, and I didn’t get them.”

“We shouldn’t go back there; the gossips are probably still out in force. Have you ever been to the Skytop Diner?”

“Yes, Gigi loves that place, and I may or may not have been addicted to their burgers for years.”

“Perfect. I was thinking earlier. At the station, I mean. Before the calendar shoot, I decided to ask you for a date. Out to dinner or something.”

“Maybe this could be a date? Right now? To the Skytop?” Her eyes bugged out, and her cheeks went up in flames. “Um—Sometimes I can’t believe the things that come out of my mouth⁠—”

I touched a fingertip to her lips.

“I love the things that come out of this gorgeous mouth. You said yes. No taking it back now. This is our first date. Even though we’ve already had our first kiss, it was fake.” My lips tipped up at the corner. “And in a bar. With an audience of eager gossiping spectators and your ex-boyfriend. Not to mention my brothers, your sisters, and all my coworkers…”

“Oh god. We’ll probably be hearing about that for a while. But I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” Her soft sigh made me smile. “I think it still counts. Plus, it’s our thing, remember?”

“Ahh, yes. Me coming to your rescue?”

“Exactly. And now you’ll buy me dinner and save us both from our lack of proper nourishment.”

I started up the truck and took her hand across the console. “The kids love the Skytop, but I’ve never taken a date there before.”

“Oh, yeah? Where do you usually take a date?”

I grinned at her. “Somewhere without fluorescent lighting and greasy food. But I haven’t asked a woman out in over two decades, so who knows?”

Her eyes bugged out, and her jaw dropped. “Huh?”

“I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, right?” The fact that I’d only ever been with Sherry was something best kept to myself. Yeah, I’d married the first girl I ever dated. A player, I was not.

Would it be a turn-off?

It would have been easy to figure it out if she really wanted to. Small-town life was not conducive to keeping secrets.

“Wait.” Her hand fluttered in the air between us. “But you look—I mean, you’re so freakin’…look at you. And you’re so sweet and funny too. And a good dad. You’re a total catch, Cole. I don’t get this at all.”

I shrugged, self-deprecatingly. “I mean, I’ve had opportunities. But I’ve never been tempted to act on it until you.”

I backed out and turned onto the road. Driving would give me something to focus on besides how pretty she was and how much stupid shit was coming out of my mouth.

“Oh, Cole. I’m honored to be the first. I haven’t been on a date with anyone besides Ross in five years, so you’re my first, too. Maybe we can take baby steps together.”

“I’ll take you somewhere fancy for our second date.” I froze.

I was doing this all wrong. Maybe I should have taken Evan and Natalie’s advice about how to ask her out. I shut my eyes; I didn’t want to see the look on her face. “I mean, if⁠—”

“Yes.” She reached out and stroked my shoulder as I turned onto the highway. “I would love to go out with you again. Don’t worry, I’m already having a good time with you. The best.”

I let out a relieved breath. “That’s good. And listen, if the meeting at my house tomorrow feels too rushed or too intimate now. Let me know. We can meet at my office or Gigi’s instead, okay?”

“No, it’s fine. I’d love nothing more than to spend time with you and your kids.”

I took her hand across the console. “Good, they have been looking forward to it.”

“I love that so much. They’re so great. Do you know what I’m in the mood for tonight?”

I shifted my eyes to her briefly as I drove. “Tell me.”

“Grilled cheese.” She squeezed my hand. “Never underestimate the power of cheese, Cole. I’m looking forward to this. Fancy places make me nervous, anyway. Give me all the diner food, please.”

“Well, a grilled cheese sandwich is something I’ll never turn down. Or any kind of cheese in any kind of form, if I’m being honest,” I confessed.

“Ha! Same. What else should we order when we get there?”

I shrugged as I turned into the Skytop’s parking lot.

“Chicken nuggets? I maintain that they are not a kid’s only food.” I pulled into a space in front and cut the engine. “Sure, my kids love them, but can’t a man enjoy a high-quality dinosaur-shaped nugget from time to time?”

“Absolutely. I totally agree.” Her laughter rang through the truck, straight into my heart to warm me up from the inside. “We need a strategy. I’ll order the grilled cheese. You get the chicken nuggets, and we’ll share. Oh! We need an appetizer.”

“Wait. Stop.” With a mock-serious look, I turned her toward me, hands on her shoulders. “This is important. Should I get fries or tots with the nuggets? Or will you get wild on me and suggest onion rings?”

She smiled huge and leaned across the console, drifting her hands up my chest to my collar to straighten it with a sideways smile decorating her pretty face. “Onion rings belong with burgers. How about tots? You look like a Tater Tot kind of guy. I mean, you kind of remind me of a Tater Tot.”

“Oh, yeah?” I was breathless, wanting to feel more of her touch, but I refrained from pulling her closer. I did not want to risk this moment by pushing for more since it was perfect as it was.

Her cheeks turned pink as she ducked her head to hide behind the fall of her gorgeous waves again. “You’re smushy on the inside,” she murmured.

My eyebrows shot up. “Don’t stop now. You have to tell me more about how I’m smushy.” I chuckled.

“Well, on the outside, you look, um, you know…” She patted my chest, then pulled back to wave her hand in front of me.

“Crunchy?” I teased. “Golden brown and sprinkled with salt, or possibly doused with ketchup?”

“No, you dork! Um, firm?” She rolled her eyes in exasperated amusement. “Obviously, you work out, Cole.” She gulped as her gaze drifted up and down my torso. “I’ve seen you in your garage with all those weights. And with the other firefighters running all through town, okay? And let’s not forget the entire calendar shoot experience. Yes, you kept your shirt on, but it was thin, Cole. And blue, tight, and—” Catching herself, she met my eyes and bit her lip. “You have to know what you look like. You’re a beautiful man, hard as a rock and covered with glorious, mind-boggling muscles. But on the inside, where it matters, you’re fluffy and warm—you’re smushy.”

My heart raced wildly in my chest at her words. “That might be the nicest compliment I’ve ever received.” I swept a hand around the back of her neck, pulling her close to kiss the hell out of her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Her eyes burned brightly into mine. I’ve never held such a tight leash on myself as I did at this moment. Forget dinner; I wanted to drive her home and take her to bed. I was tempted to try and keep her forever.

She was beyond beautiful. She made my heart soar.

Pretty pink lips smiling shyly up at me.

Deep brown hair streaked with gold shining in the early evening light.

I wanted my hands in that hair. I wanted my mouth on those lips.

Freckles dotted her nose like little kisses from the sun. Fuck the sun. I wanted to be the one to kiss her. I didn’t dare allow myself to look below her face, or I would get lost in exploring the curves of her body.

I wanted to drown in her, sink inside, and never come up for air.

Our kiss at Bookers had flipped a switch inside me. I wanted to be more than just her friend, and now that it was an actual possibility, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it would feel to be with her.

Before I could get carried away, I suggested we go inside. “I’ll get the door for you. Sit tight.” I got out and went around to help her out of my truck.

The breeze blew her hair over her shoulder as she stepped down, and I tucked it behind her ear as if I’d been doing such things for her forever. As if I had a right to touch her with familiarity. Something had changed between us after we kissed, and I didn’t want to return to how we were before.

Hope flooded my heart, shocking my system, and I took a deep breath to center myself. I hadn’t felt like this in way too many years to count.

She took my arm, smiling up at me when I opened the diner’s door for her to pass through. “Thank you,” she murmured as we followed the hostess to a booth.

“I feel like there’s an elephant in the room.” She took my hand across the table after we’d ordered drinks. “I know you heard some things tonight. You had to, or you wouldn’t have swooped in to save me like you did.”

“I did. I heard how he spoke to you, and I didn’t like it. You deserve better than that.”

“I didn’t like it either. I feel like I was in love with someone that didn’t exist and that my life for the last five years was a lie. How do you get over something like that?”

“I wish I knew. Add a marriage, two kids, and a cheating scandal, and you’re me. Sometimes I wonder if any of it was real.”

“That reminds me—I have to tell you something, and I should have done it a lot sooner, but I didn’t quite know how to bring it up.”

“It’s okay. Just say it. I’m all about honesty. Keeping things hidden is not healthy. For anyone. When something needs to be said—say it.”

“Okay, good. I feel that way too. Sometimes, Natalie talks to me about her mother when we’re out walking Basil. Not about your relationship with her or anything like that. Not with details. But she confides in me about how much she’s hurting because of the divorce and the way her mother has changed.”

I squeezed her hand. “I know she does. She told me the two of you have a lot in common. Except for her, it’s her mom; for you, it’s your dad. And the same, no detail, just feelings. I figured it would come up when it felt right.”

“It feels right now.”

“So much about tonight feels right, Madi. I almost don’t believe this is real—me and you.”

“It’s weird how tonight started like a nightmare, but now I feel like I’m living in a dream.”

“I feel it too.”

We ordered, and our food arrived. We ate, and we chatted. It was natural and effortless. Once I got out of my head and stopped worrying whether she was judging me, the conversation flowed easily.

There had been many moments tonight when our chemistry would have led to us getting closer, to touch across the table, to kiss, or to say something sexy, and we’d let most of them pass us by. But oddly, I didn’t feel like I was missing out by keeping things relatively chaste throughout dinner.

It was the opposite. I didn’t just want to date her; I liked her too. She’d already felt like a friend—granted, she was the kind of friend I wanted to have all the benefits with someday—but now we were more, and I couldn’t wait to find out how far we could go.