Chapter Eight

Falcon

“Hard to believe the one place that gives me fuckin’ nightmares is in fuckin’ Oklahoma.” Rattler muttered his objection as we approached the big ranch house where we thought Joilyn was being held. Crush and Byte had hooked up with ExFil’s intelligence crew and were helping coordinate the rescue. It wasn’t something Cain would normally allow, but the man understood our situation. Besides that, I thought he was trying to recruit some of Grim Road’s members to ExFil.

“We still looking at thirteen people on the grounds?” I peered through my field glasses, trying to spot as many people as I could. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally cut through the path of one guard trying to avoid another.

“Yep. Thirteen plus your girl,” Scout answered from my earpiece. He and another ExFil agent were on one side of the structure while me and Rattler were with three other ExFil team members.

“These guys look like they know what they’re doing.” I thought that was a guy called Goose. He and the team sniper, Deadeye, were positioned on a small hill about three hundred yards away. About the time he commented, someone ran out of the house, stumbling down the stairs, and bent over as he braced himself on the porch. Looked like he was puking. “At least, some of them know what they’re doing.” The last was a dry mutter.

“Data says he’s only found one device on any network in the house or surrounding areas,” Scout muttered. If he was anything like the rest of the team, he had his eyes firmly on the target.

Of our group, two out of the three were studying the house with binoculars. The third guy constantly swept the surrounding area but without the field glasses. His name was Chase. I thought he’d been part of a shady organization before he’d ended up in Bones MC with Cain and most of the ExFil team here currently.

“ One ?” I couldn’t help the question. “You mean like they truly are off the grid?”

“Seems that way. Cheetah, what are you seeing?” Cheetah was in her forties and one of the most cheerful people I’d ever met. It was almost sickening but the damned woman had me in stitches before we’d left for this operation, laughing at wartime stories of this team and others she’d served with. Goose had told me she had a knack for picking up on people’s emotions and had known I was tense. I liked her immediately. She was completely different once we stepped in the vehicle to start this.

“Female target is in an upstairs room on the south side. I have a partial visual on her and it looks like she’s shackled. I don’t see her being out of line of sight without someone freeing her first.”

“Good, Cheetah. You’re in charge of her.” Scout gave orders like a man well used to this kind of operation. He was thoughtful and deliberate, but confident in every intel question and every command given. “Deke, you have Cheetah’s back.”

“Roger.”

“Deadeye, follow Cheetah, Deke, and Joilyn when they get her out of the house. Don’t fire unless our team does first. That fifty cal is loud enough to wake half the fuckin’ state.”

“No promises, Scout.” Though his words sounded defiant, it was Deadeye’s version of humor. I’d learned that in the first few hours after meeting the team. They said the man lightened up a little after meeting his woman, but if this was lighter, I’d have hated to see him before he’d met her.

“Tool. Clutch. Take our guests and go hunting.” Scout’s command was hard as steel. Unbending. “No one leaves this place alive except us and Joilyn.” That was our cue to get this fuckin’ shit over with.

The four of us took off toward the ranch, crouching in the tall brush grass. The moon was bright and only half obscured through the clouds but still brighter than I’d like. I was glad for the night vision goggles we’d been issued, even if the things were clunky as shit. Laughter filtered to us as the guys in front made fun of their buddy currently bent double and vomiting everything he’d ever eaten since conception. Much as I hated giving these guys a reprieve, the noise was the cover we needed if Scout was intent on making as little noise as possible.

“Leave the dumbasses up front?” I whispered, already starting to make my way around them before Scout confirmed my request.

“The guys on the perimeter got little to no LOS on the guys in the back. Falcon, go with Tool and take the eastern perimeter. Rattler and Clutch can take the west. Cheetah, once those two teams meet in the back to take out the rest outside the house, you and Deke start your move inside the house. Should be good to move once you get there. Sound off as each area is clear.”

Yeah. If only things always went that smooth. The closer we moved to the house, the more my anxiety ratcheted up. If there was any doubt this place had given me PTSD, it was erased. I kept expecting to hear shots ringing out, people screaming. As I looked to my left, I spotted Rattler and fully expected to see his head explode. It had happened the last time. I’d turned to give an order and the man to my left had been shot with a gun so big, his head disintegrated.

I tried to shake it off and keep moving forward. It was hard, though. The kills were easy. It was the one thing I could do to keep the panic at bay. We had to go slow, so I could concentrate on each movement and keep myself aware of where the rest of my team was.

Once we made it behind the house, I had firm control of my emotions. Yes, I was still stressed. I doubted I’d be able to relax until I was back in the Grim Road compound. And I wasn’t altogether certain it was because I felt safe there.

Everyone sounded off their kill as we cleared the perimeter around the house.

My gaze found Rattler’s when we raised our night vision as we entered the house ahead of Cheetah and Deke. He gave a short nod and we started a search of the house.

“Front room, east side,” Goose said over the radio. “Spotted two guys in front of the window.”

“I got ‘em,” someone acknowledged.

“Whoever has the phone just made a call.” I didn’t recognize this man’s voice either, but suspected it was one of the computer guys with ExFil.

“I got him.” Crush’s voice was immediate. Just knowing one of my own men was listening in, helping, eased my anxiety drastically. “Going to a local number three klicks to the north of you. It’s a hardware store in town.”

“Yeah. These guys own a business. Fine upstanding citizens with a federal agent held hostage in their farmhouse.”

That gave me pause. Once we’d cleared the house, I spoke my concerns. “I’m assuming there’s a reason local law enforcement -- or any law enforcement, really -- isn’t involved with this, Scout?”

“Might shoulda asked that question before you came along, but yeah. There is.”

“That’ll do, I guess.”

“Good. Cheetah. I assume you have the woman?”

“I do. She’s a little banged up but not hurt.”

That eased my worry for Joilyn, but also sent my mind whirling. “She’s been with these fucks for two years. How’s she not hurt?”

“Can we save twenty questions for after we’re on the road or, preferably, in the air?” Scout was losing his patience.

I ground my teeth together. “Fuckin’ hate spooks.”

“Same. You know, even though we were employed by them at one time.” Rattler moved past me to cover Cheetah when she came downstairs with Joilyn. Deke had the rear so I covered the flank.

The second we stepped into the clearing around Scout and Tool we loaded everything into two trucks. I was with Rattler guarding the trucks in case we missed someone or reinforcements arrived. The last thing we wanted to happen was to get someone hurt now. Scout tapped me on the shoulder and I nudged Rattler. I jumped into the back of one truck, Rattler got in the back of the other, and we all sped off.

The ride to the private airfield where we’d left the plane took an hour, and by the time we pulled into the barn at the front of the strip, I had a raging headache, likely from a combination of adrenaline letdown and trying to focus intently on everything around us. And I had barely laid eyes on Joilyn.

I met Rattler as the team covered Cheetah, Joilyn, and Deke, making them board the plane first. When we were all inside and the plane was in the air bound for Florida, I finally relaxed. I needed a moment to close my eyes and center myself. I’d been so focused on getting everyone in and out without anyone getting killed, I hadn’t thought about Joilyn beyond explaining to Gina who she was. Now, I had questions. A lot of fucking questions.

Rattler was already in the back of the plane where Joilyn sat with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while an older woman assessed her injuries. The plane wasn’t overly fancy to be a corporate aircraft but was comfortable. Kind of like I imagined a private jet owned by a paramilitary corporation might be. It held our team easily enough with enough room for us to stretch our legs without being in each other’s way.

I took a breath and stood to go to Rattler where he sat with Joilyn. My gaze locked on hers and she met mine with what I thought was a mixture of defiance and regret in her expression. It was always hard to read Joilyn. She’d always been able to keep her feelings close to the vest. Looked like she hadn’t changed much.

“You’re not too worse for wear, dear. I think you’ll soon have your strength back.” The older woman squeezed Joilyn’s shoulder as she stood. The woman turned her gaze on me and Rattler, sticking her hand out to my MC brother. “I’m Mama. I serve Bones MC as their doctor. Cain sometimes uses my services with ExFil. He thought Joilyn would be more comfortable with a woman looking after her, but I think she’s OK.”

“I’m Rattler and this is Falcon.” Rattler introduced us as Mama took my hand in a firm grip. “Joilyn’s my sister.”

Mama gave me a questioning look.

“I’m Rattler’s friend. Joilyn and I had planned on getting married, but that was two years ago.” I saw Joilyn’s face harden before she masked her expression once more. What the fuck else was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to hurt Joilyn, but the fact was, for whatever reason, she’d faked her death long before whatever had happened to put her here.

“I see.” Mama gave me a knowing look, like she really did see. She squeezed my arm as she passed me.

I glanced at Rattler who studied his sister intently. The others had given us some privacy by sitting as far forward as they could so we had the back of the plane to ourselves. He crossed the short distance and took Joilyn in a hard embrace and the two clung to each other for long moments. When she pulled back, there was a glimpse of the Joilyn I knew. There was something vulnerable about her before that simply wasn’t there now. Rattler was right. I had changed. All three of us had.

“Joi? You’re safe now. You know that, right?” Rattler brushed hair off her forehead gently.

Joilyn gave him an angry, impatient look and shoved away from him. “Of course I know I’m safe, Ruben.”

Rattler raised an eyebrow. “I only say that because you’ve been a prisoner for the last two years and all that.” There was a bite to his voice I hadn’t expected. Probably in response to Joilyn’s display of temper. Rattler had never been anything but gentle with his sister. This tone of voice had the tendency to give most men pause.

Joilyn’s eyes widened and she actually drew back slightly before sticking her chin in the air defiantly. “You don’t know everything about my life. Everything I did was for a purpose. I stayed embedded in that group as long as I could. It was just my bad luck to have run into someone who knew me in town.”

“You mean, someone who thought you were dead?” Yeah, Rattler was good and angry. I couldn’t say I blamed him, but given how hard he’d taken her death and how he believed he should have protected Joilyn better, I should have expected him to lash out.

“Easy, Rattler,” I murmured. “She’s here. She’s alive and relatively unharmed. Be thankful you have your sister back.”

Rattler closed his eyes, sucking in a breath. Then another one. “You’re right. I’m so sorry, Joi.” He met his sister’s gaze again. “Your death was hard on me.” He glanced at me. “On both of us.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

I knelt in front of her. “What happened, Joi?” I kept waiting for that sense of betrayal, probably the same thing Rattler was feeling, but it hadn’t come. Probably because I was still crashing from the adrenaline letdown.

“Not sure what you mean.”

“With you, Joi. Did you fake your own death?”

“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. “With the help of the CIA.”

“Why?” My question came out more like a demand. Which it was.

She lifted her chin. “That’s classified.”

“Bullshit.” I didn’t raise my voice, but didn’t let her get away with the cop-out. “You owe me this, Joilyn. You owe both of us an explanation.”

“Look. Both of you were already in the Marines. You were serving your country and proud of it. I wanted to do that too.”

“No one said you couldn’t.” Rattler raised his hands in a pleading gesture. “I wouldn’t have liked it much, but I’d have helped you all I could. What exactly happened?”

She rubbed her eyes tiredly and winced when a bruise on her face protested. “I did enlist. You guys were deployed. I was going to tell you after basic. But I ticked every box the CIA special ops program was looking for at the time. They said my lack of actual combat experience would work in their favor because they could train me the way they wanted me to operate. The only catch was, I had to leave my life behind. Disappear permanently.”

“Christ, Joi! You were eighteen! You couldn’t make a decision like that on your own.”

“All evidence to the contrary,” she replied dryly. Rattler gave her a venomous look and she sighed. “In hindsight, yeah. I can see how it was a bad choice. But I’m not sure discussing it with you would have changed my mind. They were training me to do important things. Things to keep our country safe. I was going to make a difference and I did. The work I did in Oklahoma helped head off at least three different major domestic attacks.”

“The CIA doesn’t operate inside the US, Joilyn.”

“Not usually, no. But there is a domestic division. Project MK-ULTRA and the attempt to suppress the Warren Report are just a couple of examples. Not to mention they had an office under a different name in the World Trade Center on 9/11. Officially, we were operating in Oklahoma because we had tracked a foreign national with ties to multiple terrorist originations.”

Rattler snorted. “That the company line?”

“Exactly.” Joilyn pointed at her brother, like he’d just proved her point. “It was an excuse. A reason for them to be operating in the area when your team got killed.”

“So, if you weren’t there to stop a terrorist plot, why were you there? And why did you stay there after everything went to shit?”

“It was a hit. Pure and simple.”

“A hit. That the CIA took on personally. Even covering and creating excuses for them being there? That makes no sense at all.”

“When have you ever known a government agency to make sense?”

I raised an eyebrow at Rattler. “She’s got you there.”

“Not helping, Falcon.”

“Not trying to. And I’m not buying it.”

“It took me a while to figure out what was going on and who I could trust. And I’m talking about people inside the agency. Staying with this bunch was a calculated risk, but I knew I could manage these guys. They’re mean, resourceful, and great at hunting squirrels and deer. But well versed in covert ops, they are not. Once I was in with them, I played the part easily enough. Since I didn’t have to contact my handler right away because I wasn’t sure I could trust him, I didn’t risk getting caught. By the time I’d worked it all out, things had died down here and gotten back to normal. Normal being a lesson in paranoid delusions within moderately sized groups. They didn’t see women as a threat. Just someone to help them when they needed it. I blended in with the other women, cooking and cleaning and keeping the kids out of the men’s way.”

“How long had you been in place before the raid?” Rattler was starting to relax a little. Like me, I was sure he was feeling the adrenaline letdown.

“About six weeks. Not long. Long enough to establish patterns. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone but the guys at the house the night of the raid. All of the women and children were supposed to be gone on a picnic off grounds. There weren’t that many of us and most of the time, only me and one other woman were there. But that day, it rained. I got word out to my handler, but he said it was too late. The operation had already started.

“I honestly didn’t care if the women were there or not. They knew what they were doing, that those guys were homegrown terrorists, and they chose to stay with them. But there was no way I could let those three kids be put in danger. So I sounded the alarm.” She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. One tear slid down her cheek, but she ignored it. “I thought if they were ready, the team coming in would see they’d lost the element of surprise and at least pull back and reassess.”

“We questioned that, Rattler,” I whispered. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah. We both thought it odd, but I wasn’t worried. I knew we could take them.”

“We asked for instructions but were told to proceed anyway,” Rattler told her. “It wasn’t until we saw the kids running toward the property line we realized there were innocents on the ground.”

“There were only three kids, but you had no way of knowing there weren’t any inside. I knew it would make things difficult, but what I didn’t know was how many weapons they had hidden away in the storm cellar, or what kind. I had no fucking idea! I damn sure didn’t know about the armor-piercing rounds or the mortars.” She shivered. “If I’d been more experienced, or had more time to have studied the place, I’m sure I’d have found their cache. Instead, the timetable got moved up, and there we were.”

“You said they were trying to kill someone. Who did they target?”

“Right. One of the guys funding that particular group is the son of an exceedingly wealthy and powerful businessman in the area. He’s local, but make no mistake, the man is a silent world powerhouse. As you probably figured out, the place was pretty much completely off the grid. I had to get creative in my digging. Thankfully, I had a few friends in place who I trusted to keep me being alive a secret. We did some work and it looked like the father wanted the son killed. While he is definitely rich enough to kill someone and get away with it, his son being killed might raise a few eyebrows. But, if they could spin it so that it looked like his son had been kidnapped and killed by a bunch of trigger-happy militants bent on blowing up buildings and killing members of law enforcement, he could go on sitting quietly in the shadows. This guy had to have gone to someone high up in the CIA and presented it to set up a smoke screen for future operations inside the US. Kind of like a dress rehearsal in information control in domestic operations.”

“Christ, this sounds like something out of a fuckin’ movie.” Rattler scrubbed a hand over his face in agitation.

“You worked for the fucking CIA too,” Joilyn snapped. “Tell me this doesn’t sound like something they’d do.” When Rattler gave her a look, she continued. “I don’t have all the answers, guys. But I do know that the son was trouble. Like the psychotic kind of trouble. And the father’d had all he was gonna take. When the son started plotting to blow up buildings and shoot up parks and courthouses, his father snapped. Rather than have his family name associated with something like the Oklahoma City Bombing, he chose to take the chance it would slip to the press his son was killed in that raid. If the press got wind of his son being killed, the official press release was supposed to play it as his son had been part of a CIA raid. So, of course the press did find out. That was the whole point of the mission underneath the mission only a very few people knew about. The report leaked did not say the man was acting with the CIA or against it. Only that he was among the several agents killed during the raid.”

My eyes widened. “Felix Newton. He was the son.”

“Isn’t his dad a US senator or something?” asked Rattler.

Joilyn winced. “Yeah. I’m so going to jail for treason or some shit. ‘Cause, you know, that’s all classified.”

“You’re not going to jail,” Rattler said firmly. “You’ll come back with us. It’s why the club exists.”

“You mean Grim Road? Yeah, Cheetah said I’d probably be offered the chance to go back with you. She said if I wanted to stay hidden, that’s where I needed to go.”

“She’s right.” I thought I should probably reach out to Joilyn, to reassure her she’d have a home with us if she wanted it, but found myself reluctant to take her hand. Instead, I smiled. “The agency knows you’re alive because they called ExFil to get you out. Right?”

“That’s something that’s up for debate.” Joilyn eyed me carefully, as if she sensed my reluctance to have physical connection with her. “If my handler didn’t tell his superiors, he might have called ExFil himself outside agency channels. It’s even possible ExFil thinks they’re doing this for the agency when it’s really unsanctioned.”

“Who’s your handler?”

“I only know him by his road name.”

“Hello, Joilyn.” Scout approached us, reaching out his hand. “I’m Scout.”

Her lips parted on a gasp. “Scout? My handler?”

“Yep. That’s me. So, to answer your question, no. The CIA doesn’t know you’re still alive. I’m sorry it took me so long to arrange a rescue.”

“Well, it did take me months to contact you. I wasn’t sure who I could trust.”

“And you waited patiently for me to work with Cain to get things in place to get you outta there. While you did, you were able to get back information that stopped people from being killed. I could have worked something out quicker, but you weren’t in immediate danger. I wanted to make sure we did this cleanly. That way you have the option to make a break if you want. We’ll help you get a new identity so you can have a normal life.”

Joilyn snorted. “Define normal.”

“Good point.” Scout grinned. “We’re headed to Florida. While these guys don’t let outsiders in their compound, Salvation’s Bane MC’s compound will. You can clean up and rest a few days, then decide what you want to do.”

Joilyn looked from Rattler to me before nodding her head. “Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.”

“And for the record, guys…” Scout raised an eyebrow as his gaze slid from me to Rattler. “She’s right about what happened with the raid. The whole thing was an elaborate set-up. What they learned about how information spreads organically before it’s picked up by algorithms and shit will be the way they delay information getting to the public in the future.”

I stared at Joilyn. Really looked at her. She appeared the same as she did the last day I saw her. Dark auburn hair and green eyes, that stubborn chin and athletic figure were very familiar to me. But I didn’t see her the same way I used to. When I thought about marrying a woman, making a home, I didn’t see those clear, green eyes looking up at me or the sprinkling of freckles across her nose as she smiled. I saw sparkling copper eyes framed by chestnut-colored ringlets. I saw the look of near hero worship in her eyes when she looked up at me and let my chest swell with pride even though I knew I didn’t deserve her. I saw Gina.

I stood to go back to my seat. I had a lot to think about. Mainly about how quickly I could get my property cut around Gina’s slim shoulders. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it had been a mistake to come here. Sure, I could say I’d been there for Rattler. The man was my best friend. But the truth was, I’d felt obligated. And maybe a small part of me had thought I wanted her to tell me she hadn’t had a choice. I now knew that had been my biggest mistake of all. I didn’t want Joilyn. I never had. Not the way I wanted Gina.

“Falcon,” Joilyn called out as I walked away. “Can I talk with you before you go up front?” She glanced at Rattler. “Alone?”

“Yeah. Guess we have a lot to talk about.”

“Is there someplace private we can go?” Joilyn asked in a louder voice, obviously asking someone else in the plane other than me or Rattler.

Scout looked from me to her and shrugged. “Sure.” He led us to a door at the back of the plane. The door opened to a study. There was a small, curved desk in one corner and a leather sectional couch in the other. “It’ll be a few hours before we land. Take all the time you need.”

He shut the door, and Joilyn and I just stood there. For the first time since I actually got a look at her, she seemed uncertain. Like she was at a loss of how to proceed. Then she crossed the short distance to the couch and sat. I parked my ass on the desk, not knowing exactly what to do. I didn’t want to crowd her, and I also needed to keep my distance. The very last thing that could happen now was for her to get the impression I thought we should pick up where we left off.

“You won’t sit by me?” She tilted her head looking confused.

“I don’t think it’s the best idea, Joilyn.”

She ducked her head, her hair hiding her face. Then she took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Jacob.” She’d been so strong and tough up to this point, when her face crumbled and she started weeping silently, it nearly broke my heart. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to make a difference.”

“You did, honey. Scout says you saved lives by staying put.”

“I almost got you and Ruben killed,” she said softly. “Everyone else died. I know because Scout told me when I first contacted him. That’s on me. Isn’t it?”

“I don’t have answers for questions like that, Joi. But, it honestly doesn’t sound like it. You tried to warn us. To keep children from getting caught in the crossfire. I’d rather have died myself than accidentally harmed a child. Besides, their hidden agenda sounded like something they’d say was worth the collateral damage. It’s not the people like us in the field who are evil. It’s the people pulling our strings to get us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. Then, they hold those things over our heads to get us to do more things we wouldn’t normally do.”

She gave me a startled look, like she was only just now working that out for herself. “So, it wasn’t that the operation had already begun. It was that they didn’t care.”

“I’m afraid so, Joi. Me and Rattler learned those subtleties in the Marines. You went straight into the fire pit. You had no hope of besting anyone in that agency. Manipulation is what they do. The higher in rank, the better they are at it.”

“I gave up everything. Didn’t I?” She looked devastated and I hurt for her. I really did.

“Not everything. You’ve still got your brother. And me, but as a friend. As my best friend’s sister.”

“Like when I was a kid.”

“Yeah.”

Joilyn looked up at me then, tears swimming in her lustrous eyes. “Did you find someone else?”

I didn’t want to hurt her, but there was really no easy way to do this. “I did. It was after I first came to Grim Road. Right after that night.”

“So you’ve been with her for more than a year?”

“No. I met her then, but didn’t have a relationship with her until recently.”

“So, it’s still new?” I wasn’t sure I liked the look on Joilyn’s face now. It was calculating, where that had never been part of her personality. It set off some alarm bells I wasn’t sure I liked and wasn’t going to dwell on now. I wasn’t up for that kind of emotional rollercoaster.

“It is, but it’s also cemented. I really am sorry, Joilyn. I would never have hurt you on purpose.”

“We were going to be married, Jacob. Be together forever.”

“You died . You fuckin’ died !” That came out harsher than I wanted it to, but I felt guilty enough without this. “I know I let you down, OK? It seems to be my superpower. I’ll help you in any way I can. I’ll make sure you have a safe place among people you can trust. I’ll have Lemon get someone at Grim to assess your skills and vouch for you with ExFil, if that’s what you want. Maybe Scout can help with that since he knows you. I’ll do everything I can to help you. But I love Gina.”

“Didn’t you love me once too? Doesn’t our past count for something?” She stood and crossed to me, putting her hand on my chest.

I caught her wrists and gently put her at arm’s length. “Don’t, Joilyn. I’m not yours to touch.”

“You should be, though,” she said softly. “You said when you left we’d get married when you came home. I thought I’d have time to finish my service before you were out, then we’d have more in common.”

I narrowed my eyes. This wasn’t… this wasn’t the Joilyn I knew. Sure, we’d both changed, but I was getting whiplash with her emotional swings. “You knew going in it was a one-way trip. Why are you upset now?”

She shrugged. “Maybe because the man I love found another woman?” Now she looked angry. “Look. I get you needed to have a fling. I did too. But we can be back together now. Besides, I had you first. I should get to say if you stay with me or not.”

“What’s wrong with you, Joi? Not only are you not making any sense, you’ve set down some very unreasonable expectations.”

Taking a step toward me she reached out once more. Slowly this time until she lay one hand on my chest over my heart. “I just want us to be a team, Jacob.” She looked at the door once and took another half step forward, lowering her voice like she was afraid someone would overhear us. “Listen. If you come back with me, we can work together. We’d be unstoppable. Just think of all the good we could do. Together.”

“Is that what this is about?” I straightened from the desk, forcing her to take a step backward before she realized she was giving ground. “To get me back in the CIA?”

“Why not? They said you were good. And, like I said, we could work together. Me, you, maybe even Rattler. It’d be like old times.” It hadn’t missed my notice that her tears had dried. I wasn’t delving too deep here because I honestly didn’t want to know. Instead, I make a mental note to tell Lemon not to let her anywhere near the Grim Road compound and have a talk with Rattler about my suspicions. I had no doubt now what had happened, and it involved the CIA getting someone inside Grim Road to get an idea of how many of us and exactly who was there. After all, most of us had been affiliated with the CIA in some form, especially once we started running black ops.

“No. It won’t.” I moved around her to the door, intending to leave.

“I still love you, Falcon.” She stated the words with such conviction, I couldn’t tell if it was an act or not. “I always will. I’m willing to die for you.”

I shut the door with a hard thud before advancing on Joilyn. “Is that a threat?” I bared my teeth at her and she recoiled. But, again, I saw something in her eyes that said she wasn’t at all intimidated by me.

“What? That I’d kill myself? You can rest assured I’d never take my own life, Falcon.”

“No. I don’t think you would. But that wasn’t the threat. The threat was in what you didn’t say. You’re willing to die for me. But I’m also betting you’re willing to kill.”

She shrugged. “Dying’s much harder than killing.”

“Oh, dying can most certainly be harder than killing. Especially if you hurt someone who belongs to me. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what your assignment is. But don’t expect to get into Grim Road. You’ll have to figure something else out.”

That drew what seemed to be a genuinely shocked expression from her. “What?”

“I’ll go tell your… handler you’re not getting into Grim Road and to make some other arrangements for you.”

“You said you’d help me.”

“And I will. But living at Grim Road is not on the table.” Once again, I turned to go. I needed to think about what I was going to do next. Which meant staying longer than I’d planned at Salvation’s Bane. I needed to get in touch with Lemon. Tell her what was going on. But most of all, I needed her to bring Gina with her. I absolutely could not spend another night away from her. “Joilyn? If you can get out of the CIA, you need to do it now. Scout said he didn’t tell them, but I’m betting you told them. They told you to use Scout to get inside Grim Road. If you want out, Scout can help you. But you’re not getting into Grim Road, whether you leave them or not. You might want to consider making the appropriate apology to Scout so you at least have the option of exiting the agency for real this time. Before they have you doing things you can’t come back from.”