Chapter One

Falcon

The soft cry coming from Gina’s bedroom window damned near broke my heart. She did fine most days, when she had the girls to distract her. But at night, when she was alone in that house, nightmares visited her regularly. Those nightmares were partly my fault and that was why I couldn’t let go of this need to see she was safe. Which is why I was currently sitting underneath her open window outside her house. At one in the morning.

Yeah. That wasn’t creepy or anything. Thank God she still stayed in the compound. I knew she wasn’t really comfortable here, but she had nowhere else to go. Though she typically stayed in her house or in the fenced-in backyard, she would very occasionally leave the compound to grocery shop or whatever. She never went anywhere inside the compound by herself other than to drive from her house to the main gate and back.

Another soft cry followed by a small sob echoed in the night. It was a scared, lonely sound, much like that of a child lost from its parents in a crowd. Among the myriad night noises in the wildlife reserve where our compound was nestled, she sounded like a caged animal too scared to fight.

With a shake of my head, I dug my phone out from my back pocket and moved away from the window slightly behind a shrub and called her. When I heard her phone play a trilling notification, I moved farther away so she couldn’t hear me speaking through her open window. She answered on the fourth ring.

“H-hello?”

“Hey, Gina. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I -- no. You didn’t. Falcon?”

“Yeah. Probably shoulda led with that, huh?” I tried to make fun of myself to distract her. I knew from months of watching over her and listening to her nightmares she was always shaken when she woke.

“Sorry. I should have checked to see who was calling before I answered.” She sounded a little more awake and even managed a small laugh.

“I’m really sorry. I thought I saw your light on and thought something might be wrong. About the time you answered, I realized it was Rocket and Lemon’s place.”

There was a short pause and I thought I heard her shuffling around. Maybe sliding the covers from her body so she could sit on the edge of the bed. And, Goddamn, that image needed to stay the fuck outta my head!

“You were… checking on me?”

“Well, yeah.” I hoped I sounded sheepish and embarrassed but I wasn’t that great an actor. But if it pulled her out of her nightmares, I’d suffer through it. Gladly. “I guess I was.”

She took in a shuddering breath before speaking again. “Because of what happened?”

I had to be careful about my answer here. I didn’t want her thinking I felt obligated to look after her, but I didn’t want to scare her either. God knew she had plenty of reasons to be scared of me.

“Because you need someone looking after you and I kind of enjoy the job.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will. You’re strong. You need time to heal and to learn to trust yourself again.”

“I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“Why not? What should I have said?” I kept my voice neutral and conversational. I wanted her to keep talking so she could settle her mind. I always managed to find a way to get through to her when she had a nightmare. I don’t know if she suspected I was watching her or not, but whenever I’d hear her crying or calling out in fear, I’d send a text. Or knock on her door. Or call. If she’d noticed the timing, she hadn’t said anything. Positive or negative.

“I thought you’d tell me I’d have to learn to trust you. Why would you think I didn’t trust myself?”

I had to smile. I’d led her straight where I wanted her to go and she’d done so without hesitation. “Because you already trust everyone in this club. What you don’t trust is your own judgment telling you to trust us.”

She was silent so long I thought I might have overplayed my hand. Then her soft voice asked, “How do you know I trust you?”

“Because, when Rocket and Lemon said the club would pay for a place outside the compound if you wanted to get away from us, you declined.”

“Yeah,” she said on a sigh. “I suppose you’re right. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being out on my own again. I was obviously not very good on my own the first time.”

“That wasn’t your fault, Gina. Once he got you back here, it was easy for him to make you feel like you didn’t have a choice. You know better now and you choose to stay.”

“I never really thought about it that way. I couldn’t get past having to be on my own. And Lemon… well…”

“What about her? You know she’s solidly in your corner. Right?”

“That’s just it, Falcon. I do know. She didn’t make excuses for anyone. She didn’t doubt anything I told her. She believed everything and I was quick to tell her you guys thought I was willing when… you know… when you…” Even now she couldn’t say it, and I wanted to claw out my own heart.

“Yeah, honey. I know. We’re all ashamed of that, even if we didn’t know. We could have taken the time to talk to you more. Or at all, really.” I gave a self-deprecating snort of laughter. “More importantly, we could have made sure you knew you weren’t in danger from any of us. All you had to do was tell someone you wanted away from Hammer and we’d have removed you from the situation and asked questions later. We didn’t make it clear so that’s on us.”

“I guess,” she said softly. “Seems like both of us were victims of Hammer’s deception.”

“I’d say that’s a fair statement.”

I heard sounds on her end as she moved from her bedroom. I heard a door open, then close. Moments later, the light in her living room came on.

“You said you saw a light. That you thought it was mine.” She sounded better now. More herself. Though I hated that she’d donned the air of indifference she hid behind, I was glad that, at least subconsciously, she’d trusted me enough to tell me what she had.

“Yeah. I did.”

“Are you close by, then?”

“Yeah. Just outside.” Not a lie.

“Um, would you, uh…” She cleared her throat. “Would you like some coffee?”

“You good with me being in your space without one of the women nearby?”

“I think so.” Her voice said she was trying to convince herself she could do this and wasn’t doing a very good job. “You’d leave if I got overwhelmed. Right?”

“Absolutely. In fact, why don’t we sit outside on the porch? That way you can keep the door between us if you want to.”

There was a pause, then a sniffle before she spoke again. “You’d do that? Just to make sure I was comfortable?”

“Gina, honey. Of course. I like bein’ around you. I like talkin’ to you and just wavin’ at you as I drive by. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you always want to spend that kind of time with me.” God, could I sound any more pathetic? Did I fucking care?

“Come over, Falcon. I’ve unlocked the door and am making coffee. Let yourself in. We can sit and chat for a while.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, honey.”

I chuckled as I took my time walking up her driveway. I knocked loudly before opening the door. Even though she was expecting me, I wanted to make sure she was well aware of where I was in her home.

“Hey.” Her smile was small, but so beautiful it made my heart ache. How anyone could have hurt this woman was beyond me. She carried a tray with two mugs, a pot of black coffee, cream and sugar. That was something else about Gina. She was always prepared with a way to entertain guests. I got the feeling at least some of that came from the need to have something to concentrate on besides being scared all the time. The other was a desire to make people comfortable and welcome. The way she dealt with all the children the club had recently acquired seemed to fulfill that side of her as well. Which gave her an added distraction from her fear. “I have some caramel sauce in the fridge if you’d rather.”

“Black’s fine for me. Thank you, Gina.”

She fixed hers with a liberal amount of cream and sugar before blowing gently over the liquid and taking a careful sip. I watched her as I took a sip of my own coffee, letting the silence stretch. I’d follow her lead.

“Um, I should thank you. I actually had dozed off and was having a nightmare when you called.” One hand cupped her mug while she ran her other hand up and down her arm.

It surprised me she admitted that so easily. I thought it was probably good though. Like she was really trying to give me the benefit of the doubt and take me at my word that I wanted to look out for her.

“In that case, I’m glad I didn’t hang up the second I realized it was Rocket and Lemon’s house I was seeing with a light on.”

Again, she gave me a small smile. This time I thought she looked more relaxed. She was still on guard, but she was at least somewhat comfortable.

“Can I ask you a question?” A light blush dusted her cheeks, and she couldn’t meet my gaze. Her breathing became more rapid and she fiddled with the coffee mug in her hand.

“Of course. Anything.”

She swallowed, obviously nervous but determined to plow on. “Why do you keep taking me for rides on that pink bike?”

I let out a surprised chuckle, not able to help the burst of mirth. Lemon, the bitch, had painted my Harley pink because she said Gina had always wanted a pink bike. So Lemon had made it happen. But she’d told Gina I’d insisted she do it because I wanted to make things right with her. Lemon had told me I could thank her later. I suppose now was later.

“You don’t like it? I mean, I can stop --”

“No!” She interrupted, reaching out to grip my wrist firmly, like she was trying to prevent me from doing anything drastic. I had to grin because I knew there was no way she wanted me to stop taking her on those rides. “I love it! I cried the first day you pulled up on it and told me we were going to take a spin around the compound. I know the guys give you shit about it, but you haven’t had it repainted or traded it off. I just wondered, you know…” She pulled her hand away from my arm and I felt the loss. I liked that she’d kept the contact as long as she had. “Why would you keep riding with me on it when you hate the color?”

This, I had an answer for. I reached out slowly, giving her time to pull back if she didn’t want my touch. She turned her hand over, and I laced my fingers through hers lightly. “Because you cried the first day I pulled up and told you we were goin’ on a ride.”

She sucked in a breath and her eyes got glassy with tears. I gave her what I was sure was a thunderous look, but honestly, I couldn’t help it. I panicked! “Don’t you dare cry on me.”

Thankfully, she must have seen the humor in the situation because she laughed through her tears. “I never knew such hard men could be so affected by a girl’s tears. I mean, I thought you guys weren’t exactly sympathetic types, but I’m beginning to think otherwise. I’ve noticed that if one of the old ladies so much as has a lower lip start quivering, you go rounding up the wagons and calling in reinforcements to make the tears stop.” She shook her head even as she smiled and used her free hand to wipe at her eyes with a napkin. “It’s not natural.”

I chuckled, relief flooding me I’d managed to stave off those fucking tears. “I agree, honey. It ain’t natural. But our women seemed to have done that to us. And you know what else?” When she smiled and shook her head like she couldn’t wait to hear this, I continued, “We love every fuckin’ second of it, and I could give a good Goddamn if everyone in the club knows how we feel.”