Chapter 29

TWENTY-NINE

Nathan

Holy fuck.

Oh hell.

What the shit.

I collapse beside Mina, my lungs on fire. My head clear of the roar of questions and worries that have been my constant companion for weeks. Maybe my entire life.

I close my eyes.

Whatever happens next, this was worth it.

Mina was worth it.

I am not made for barbed wire and raised defenses.

I am made for her.

After this night, there's one thing I know for sure:

I was stupid to think I didn't like Mina Blake.

She lays her head on my chest, tracing designs on my belly with her fingernails. "I think we just violated every single rule we set for ourselves at the beginning of this. Maybe a few extras. I don't know."

I wrap an arm around her shoulders, fully relaxed. Completely sated. Sliding into sleep with her body pressed against mine. "Fine with me."

The words slip into the room as my eyes close. So this is what contentment feels like. A complete lack of urgency to be anywhere but where I am or do anything but hold her close and breathe her in.

Mina presses a kiss to my chest, my throat, the soft spot beneath my ear. "But you're in your villain era," she whispers. "And I'm the sweet damsel caught in your trap. Shouldn't I be afraid?"

I'm the one who's caught. I'll never not want you again. Why doesn't that scare me?

No time for thoughts like that. Not now. Not yet. They can wait until tomorrow, when I have it in me to care about right and wrong. When I can wonder how Mina slipped through the barbed wire wrapped around my heart.

I run a hand through her hair. "Is that what happened? I trapped you?"

"That's what I'll tell people when they ask. Even though I can't think of anywhere else I want to be" She giggles into my skin. It's like oxygen. Like taking my first full breath after a deep dive. Like stepping out of the ocean in winter and warming myself by the fire.

"I can see the headlines now. ‘Nathan West falls for owner of ancient Honda. She's more than dazzling and spectacular. She's extraordinary.'" I wave a hand through the air as if I'm reading the article off my ceiling.

The joke sours my mood. I don't want to think what that stupid Fallon Mae will say about this. She twists everything I do into something awful, and I don't want that to happen to Mina. She's wonderful. She's everything. She's the light I've been searching for.

"No, Nathan. That's you. You're the one who's extraordinary. You're kind and give so much of yourself. You're smart and strong and so incredibly sexy I sometimes can't hear what you're saying because I'm too busy staring. Me? I'm just plain Mina," she says, still tracing her fingers across my skin, driving me fucking mad with lust.

I'd rather focus on that then the what ifs and what nows circling my head like vultures.

In one swift movement, I roll Mina onto her back, caging her with my arms. She shrieks, giggling as I lower my lips to suckle a breast.

"What are you doing?" she moans.

"There's nothing plain about you, HM. Nothing at all." I nip at her throat, then whisper in her ear, "I was greedy before. Now it's time to be generous."

Who knows how long later, Mina and I are back in the kitchen. She's wearing one of my shirts and nothing else. It grazes her thighs and whispers of familiarity. I like it more than the dress she wore here. She finishes her wine while I sip on whiskey, the light above the sink illuminating the room. There's something comfortable about having her here with me. In my home. The whole world asleep except for us.

Mina swirls a finger along the rim of her glass, her hips swaying as she leans against the counter. "The day we met, if someone told me I'd end up drinking wine in your kitchen at three in the morning, I'd have laughed in their face."

I mimic her posture, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, a long line of contact between us. "Your first impression that bad?

"God yes." She leans her head against mine. "Not only were you exceptionally rude that day, which would have been enough to put me off all by itself, but I called you that night, drunk and desperate, after accidentally hitting send on a text that never should have seen the light of day. I was stupid and you were mean. Not exactly a recipe for whatever we just did in your bedroom."

"No, I guess it isn't." I press a kiss to her head, caught in the memory of that day.

The first time I saw Mina, she was giving herself a pep talk, probably pumping herself up to battle the nerves she felt before meeting her idol and a famous client, now that I think about it. Watching her made me laugh for the first time in a long time, and I got out of my car promising I'd do it more. That I'd stop being an asshole and go back to being myself.

But that didn't happen.

Not until Mina reminded me who I really am simply by being with me.

"I'm sorry I was rude that day." I swirl my whiskey and take a sip. "I wasn't at my best, which is putting it lightly," I finish with a smirk.

So much about my life has changed since then.

So much about me has changed since then.

"I got the feeling you were going through a lot and forgave you a while ago. Of course, at the time, I thought you were just another rich prick who thought he deserved more than the rest of us. But I see now that's not who you really are. That was a mask you put on to hide behind after Blossom."

I flinch, uncomfortable with how close she is to the truth.

There's a second of silence, laden with anticipation. The condenser on the fridge hums to life and I drop my gaze to my fingers gripping my glass. "Maybe," I finally manage.

"That's okay." Mina pats my hand, smiling gently as she straightens. "You don't have to talk about it."

She's disengaging. Assuming my terse answer has something to do with her when really, it has everything to say about me. I don't want her to know the side of me that's weak. The side of me that not only let Blossom into my head, but then allowed her to burrow in, claws hooked deep into my psyche.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it," I say. "It's just…"

I don't know how to finish that sentence.

The pause lengthens, the silence lingers.

"Not with me. I understand." Mina drops her gaze, seeking her escape, even as she smiles again to make me feel better.

"You don't though."

"You could enlighten me." Her head is cocked, her heart wide fucking open in front of me. She slides herself into my arms like she was designed to fit there.

And that's the key that unlocks everything.

Because I'm starting to think she was designed to fit there.

With a slow sigh, I wrap my arms around her, close my eyes, and let her in. "Micah and Angela told you about Blossom. My girlfriend."

"Oh my God." Mina draws back, surprise lifting her brows. "Is The Prince of Darkness really going to shed light on his origin story?"

Everything in me bristles at her joke. "Do you want to hear this or not?"

"I do." She mimes zipping her lips, then gestures for me to continue.

"So—"

"Wait, wait, wait." Mina unzips her lips. "Time out. Pause."

"I thought you wanted to hear this…"

"Something tells me this story shouldn't be shared standing in the kitchen." Taking my hand, she leads me into the living room and pushes me onto the couch, then hands me a pillow before sitting next to me, smiling expectantly.

"What's this for?" I stare at the thing like I've never seen it in my life.

"You put it in your lap. And hug it. Like this." She grabs the other pillow, crosses her legs underneath her, and wraps her arms around it. "It's the classic posture for difficult stories."

With a roll of my eyes, I put the pillow behind my head, throw my arm over the back of the couch, and invite Mina to cuddle in, where she belongs.

"You're right. That's a much better idea." She lays down on her back, her head in my lap, staring up at me with a heartwarming grin. "Okay. Now. Hit me with this origin story."

I trace my fingers along her features, memorizing the feel of her cheeks, her brows, the gentle upturn of her nose. My thumb drags across her bottom lip and I better start this story soon, before I'm too distracted to continue.

"I met Blossom through the foundation, which crosses all kinds of ethical lines, I know. Hear me out before you judge."

"Who says I'm judging?"

"Everyone judges, HM. Day in, day out, we're judging everyone we see. Just imagine if we spent half as much time working on ourselves as we do complaining about other people."

"That's a lovely existential point, but you're stalling, your highness."

I'm not, but I move on, rather than distract us by disagreeing. "Blossom has two daughters. She came to the foundation because she wanted them to have a better life than she could provide. She was right on the line of qualifying for assistance. Like right there. In fact, if two other families with greater needs hadn't applied at the same time, she probably would have qualified and none of this would have happened. It's only because she didn't qualify that I started talking to her as a person and not a client."

I've spent too many sleepless nights wondering what would have happened if she had qualified for assistance and I hadn't asked her out. If she hadn't come into my life to use me, I wouldn't have decided to push the world away. I wouldn't have leaned into playing the villain, enjoying my money instead of trying to make up for having it in the first place. I would have just been my normal happy-go-lucky self, living in my modest house…

…and I probably wouldn't have met Mina. Six months ago, a life without Blossom was my favorite daydream. Now, I can't imagine missing out on my Hot Mess Express. Mom always said life's greatest difficulties turn into blessings once you're on the other side. I'm starting to see her point.

"Anyway," I say, running a hand through Mina's silky hair. "I have this tendency of seeing the best in people."

"You?" She laughs, twisting to meet my eyes. "You think you see the best in people."

"I do. Or at least I used to. And didn't you promise to stay quiet?"

She sits all the way up, eyes twinkling. "How can I stay quiet in the presence of such bullshit?"

"Fine. Storytime's over." I drop the pillow into my lap and give it a hug. Turns out, it is a surprisingly comforting posture. "You happy now?"

"Nope. Totally discontent. Zero stars. I will not be returning to this establishment."

Annoyed by how much I like hugging the pillow, I put it back where it belongs and scooch my butt to the edge of the couch. "See if I ever open up to you again."

"I'm kidding, Nathan." Mina pushes on my shoulders until I sit back again. "I've been around you enough to know you probably did spend most of your life seeing the best in people. I'm teasing because I feel safe with you. Safe to be myself. Safe to be a little silly. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

My heart swells to the size of the sunrise over the ocean and I draw her into my arms and kiss her deeply. "I like that you feel safe with me."

"Good. Now show me that you feel safe with me."

I tell her about Blossom. About the way she presented herself as a victim of a difficult childhood, trying to do better for her kids. "She'd blow up at me over the smallest things. Or expect me to do everything for her, even be a parent for her girls when we weren't even living together. I took it in stride because I thought all she needed was a little kindness to grow into the best version of herself. The part that was hiding from the light or whatever."

She was so fucking awful to me. I'd bring her to family gatherings and we'd end up alone somewhere, her yelling at me for abandoning her or not paying enough attention to her if I so much as talked to a cousin. And then her kids would do something shitty and it was my job to fix it. It was humiliating and I kept letting it happen, which made me feel weak and worthless. I share all that with Mina, my voice gritty with truth.

"And then you found out she was cheating." She shakes her head like she can't believe what she's hearing. I haven't even gotten to the hard part yet.

"When she told me, she was proud of herself. She wasn't sorry for hurting me or using me or letting me into her kids' lives. She gloated. Like she was so glad to take the mask off and let me see what a dumb fucking asshole I'd been. She told me she'd never loved me, just my money. She used to say, ‘a man like you deserves to get what you want.' I wanted it to be a compliment, but it was a way of distancing herself from me. Like I'm somehow other because of my money. You said it that first day we met, and it didn't help my impression of you."

"I said it because I thought that's what wealthy people wanted to hear. No, worse than that. I believed that's how wealthy people saw themselves. I can imagine how it landed, now that I know you better."

Everything about Mina softens. She sees all of me now. She knows me now. And I promised I would never let that happen again, but with her, I'm not afraid.

At least not yet.

"And then, to make things worse, we had this rush of applications at the foundation. All from people who had more than enough money to provide for themselves but were happy to steal charity from those who genuinely need it. Everywhere I looked, I saw greed and selfishness. So, I decided to fight it by expanding the foundation, which led me to a man named Dominick Taylor. He's got a nose for money, but he's a cynical fuck. He's been telling me from the start that people like you only see dollar signs when they look at people like me. That I need to lean into my wealth. To accept my role. To play the hand I was given. So that's what I've been doing. In fact, I was on the phone with him during that first meeting and he was going on and on about how I should avoid you."

I flare my hands because there it is. The truth. The reason I withdrew from the world. Now that it's out, the story doesn't sound as devastating as it did when it was trapped in my head.

Have I been just as self-centered as the people I'm retreating from?

"That would be enough to make anyone a little bitter."

"A little?" I arch an eyebrow then surprise us both by laughing.

"Okay, fine. You were a lot bitter." Mina returns my smile. "I don't see you as a dollar sign, by the way. I see you. Nathan West. A man who only needs a glimmer of goodness in someone to trust that's who they really are. I'm sorry if I ever gave you reason to believe otherwise." She grabs both my cheeks and kisses my forehead. "Forgive me?"

"There's no need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Are you sure? Because my apology was going to come with a blow job. You got on your knees for me. The least I can do is get on my knees for you."

"Shit, woman. What are you waiting for then? Apologize!"