14. Maya

14

MAYA

I walk into the kitchen to find Cade pacing back and forth, swiping a hand over his face and mumbling to himself.

"My ride will be here soon." I set my purse on the counter.

He paces past me and glares. "I wish you would let me drive you."

"I can't."

"Why?" He growls.

"Because it will just make it harder to leave."

"Good." Cade starts to move toward me. "I don't want you to leave."

I throw my hand up. "Please. Don't come any closer. This is hard enough as it is."

"It doesn't have to be." He stops dead in his tracks. "We have something good here. Really good."

"We've had amazing sex." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. "But that doesn't mean we have something good."

What we have is more than good; it's magical. I want to tell him that. I don't want to lie. But I have to. I have to fake everything to protect him.

His cheeks burned bright red. "I don't understand why you're doing this."

"I'm not doing anything." I lie. My phone pings. "My ride's here."

I swallow past the lump forming in my throat. "Thank you, Cade. Thank you for everything. I will never forget this Christmas."

"I should throw you over my shoulder and march your fine ass upstairs, duchess."

"You won't." I grab my purse. "I hope life is good to you, Cade. You deserve to be happy." I walk past him, then quickly turn around to kiss him.

"You're a good man." I'm running for the door when his words stop me dead in my tracks.

"You're afraid. That's why you're leaving. You're afraid to be happy, Maya."

The way he says my name sends shivers down my spine.

He's right.

I am afraid.

I'm terrified down to my very core.

I'm thirty-seven years old, and I've never gone against anything my parents have told me. I've been a good daughter. An obedient daughter. I know that if I stay and do what my heart wants me to do, they will ruin Cade. They will demolish the memory of his hockey career. Ruin his reputation. Destroy his life.

I can't let them do that to him.

Won't.

I wouldn't survive it.

"You're wrong." I lie over my shoulder.

"I'm right. And you know it."

I keep moving, open the door, and wave at the Lyft driver.

"Lucky for you, duchess, I'm a patient man." He calls out as I make my way down the steps. "I'm giving you one month to come to your senses."

"What?" My heart is beating so hard I think I might pass out. I whirl around with my hands on my hips. "What do you mean you're giving me one month to come to my senses?"

"Exactly what I said, duchess." Now he's standing in the doorway, his arms braced on the jamb, with his chest all puffed out. I'll be damned if he doesn't look like a preening peacock. He shoots me one of his miracle smiles. "I don't know why you need it, but I'll give you your space. But make no mistake about it, duchess. You're mine."

I want to run to him. I want to throw my arms around him and kiss him until my lips are numb. I don't want to leave him.

Refusing to follow my instincts and stay, I climb into the car. The driver's grinning face is staring at me from the rearview mirror.

"What?" I huff.

"He's in love with you."

"He is not." I pout. "Please take me to the tow yard."

"Will do." He's still smiling as he backs out of the driveway. "I can put the car in drive and take you back if you want."

"I don't want."

"Alright." He shrugs. "Suit yourself. But you're making a big mistake."

"I'm not."

"You are." He turns onto the main road. "You're in love with him."

"Who are you? Dr. Phil?" I roll my eyes. "I'm not in love with him."

Of course, I'm in love with him. He's everything I've ever wanted.

"Umm, okay."

We pass by mountains of snow piled on the sides of the road. I want to go back. I want to stay with Cade forever. My heart drops into my stomach like a lead ball.

"Here."

I glance up to see a box of tissues in the driver's hand.

"You need these." He passes them over the seat.

"I don't." I glower and take them anyway.

Dr. Phil turns on the radio. Someone starts crooning about a love gone wrong, and I sob so hard I can't catch my breath. My throat tightens. My chest starts to ache. And I know I am never going to be the same.

I love Cade.

I love him with all of my heart.

And I can never be with him.