41. Forty-One

Val

When Serena and I walk out of Knight Security a little after one o’clock, we both feel satisfied with the contract.

Serena looks over at me, “I think everything went very well. That was one of the smoothest negotiations I’ve dealt with. Both you and Carson were flexible and fair. I think both sides basically got what they wanted, leaving Carlucci Software in a very good position.”

“I’m glad the negotiation part is behind us. I can’t wait to tell the team we have a signed contract from a major buyer, and we’re ready to launch.”

We say our goodbyes, and then I drive to Carlucci’s.

When I enter my department, every single member of the team watches me walk in. I can tell they’ve all been waiting. I give a huge smile and then hold the signed papers up over my head like a trophy.

“We have a signed contract, and we’re ready for launch!”

There are hoops and hollers as everyone gives a cheer. Then comes a lot of backslapping and high-fives.

Ellen comes over. “So, are you nervous about convincing the board?”

“No. I have complete confidence in the team, and I know this software launch will be approved.”

“I wish I had your confidence. Are you completely ready for the board meeting tomorrow?”

“Almost. I wouldn’t mind going over all the numbers again. I would like to have the projected numbers in hard copy so we can give each board member a handout. I want them to have something not only to look at but to reference once the meeting is over.”

“I can put something together.”

We continue to fine-tune everything until it’s quitting time. I walk out with everyone else, and I can tell that the team is in high spirits, knowing we have a signed contract.

On the drive home, a tight knot of dread starts tightening in my stomach the closer I get to the house.

After I pull into the drive, I take a deep breath and then open my car door.

When I walk into the house, I don’t see Chase. I finally spot him outside on the deck. It looks like he grilled some steak and vegetables on the grill.

He turns and gives me a wave while I motion that I’m going to change. He nods and then turns back to his grill.

I take off the clothes I wore into the office and slip into an older pair of cutoff jeans, but instead of a T-shirt, I reach for my hot pink halter top. I hesitate with my hand over the shirt. I then give a sad smile and instead, I grab the black halter top beside it.

I walk barefoot out to the backyard deck. Chase turns when he hears me open the sliding glass doors.

“Hey, Babe. I thought we could eat on the deck tonight.”

“I’ll get the drinks and plates.”

Chase waves his spatula at me. “Perfect.”

I gather a drink for each of us, plates, napkins, and silverware, and place everything neatly on the outside table.

I then go back into the kitchen and put together a quick garden salad. By the time I go back outside, it looks like the steak is done, and Chase is transferring everything off the grill and onto a serving platter.

“Dinner is served,” Chase quips as he places a perfectly grilled juicy sirloin on each of our plates. He then dishes up the grilled vegetables and spoons them on the side.

We both sit down and start to eat.

“Chase, this tastes wonderful. You outdid yourself tonight.”

“Thanks.”

Once we’ve finished and pushed our empty plates to the side, we both lean back in our chairs.

I thought I’d wait for Chase to talk first, but as the silence drags out, I panic. I realize I’m not brave enough to discuss our marriage yet or tell him about the baby. So, I nervously blurt out something about his apartment being up for sale.

“So, um... a girl was here measuring the house. I... ah, love my apartment. I wouldn’t want to give it up. So, um. I actually would be interested in buying you out.”

“What?” Chase gives me a confused look.

“Well, um, seeing the realtor got me thinking. Once our year is up and I collect my inheritance, there really isn’t any reason for us to stay married. And, um, I really love this duplex, so I thought it would be nice if I owned both sides.” I want to look at him to see his reaction to my words. Does he want an out? Will he leave once I tell him about the baby, anyway?

Chase just sits there for a minute or two with a hard look on his face.

“I will consider it, Val. After our year is up,” he says carefully.

“Chase, lately, I’ve been thinking about my future. You know, when I meet that special someone— I think I’d like to maybe start a family— I’m sure you’re eager for your freedom.”

I look over at Chase to see his reaction, but his face shows no emotion.

Then he says curtly, “You know my feelings about children. So, it sounds like you’re the one eager for freedom, Val. I guess you’re eager to meet that special someone who wants a family?”

I shrug helplessly in response. What was I hoping for? That I could change his mind about wanting children? I swallow down my bitter disappointment.

“Well, I have more news, Chase. I heard from Mr. Jenkins yesterday. He said the dispute was being dismissed as inconsequential. The fifty-one shares will be transferred into my name today, and I’ll have controlling interest in Carlucci’s by midnight tonight.”

“I see.”

“Mr. Jenkins said it wouldn’t be publicly announced until tomorrow afternoon.”

“What about your five million?”

“The money still won’t be released to me until after the one-year requirement is up, but Mr. Jenkins did let me know that with the dispute dismissed, no one would be questioning our marriage in any way. We... we wouldn’t even have to live together anymore once the ownership of the shares is publicly announced.”

“So, I guess you’re getting everything you wanted. Right, Val?”

“Yes, I... I guess I am.”

I take a deep breath and then say in a cheery voice, “So, I uh— guess you’re off the hook.”

“Won’t it look odd if we suddenly stop acting like a married couple?”

“Yes, but as far as my inheritance goes, no one would question it if we decide to live apart.”

“Is that what you want, Val?”

“I... I don’t know what I want,” I lie. “I don’t want either one of us to feel hemmed in or feel like we have to put our lives on hold.”

“Hemmed in. Do you feel like your life is on hold, Val?”

“No, not really. It’s just that, well, you know. Having to live in the same house and all. I’m sure it probably made both of us feel, um... a little tied down.”

Chase suddenly stands up and says, “I’ll clear off the table.”

“Oh, sure.”

I stand up and start to gather up the dishes and silverware. I carry everything into the kitchen and then begin to load up the dishwasher. The silence feels deafening between us. I need to tell him about the baby. There will be no hiding it after a few months, anyway. I try to gather the courage just to tell him.

As I stack the dishes in the dishwasher, Chase says in a tight voice, “Val, listen. Do you mind if I go for a night ride? I haven’t ridden my bike in over a week.”

I keep my back to him as I feel my eyes start to sting. I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes.

“No, of course, I don’t mind. I might go ahead and move a few of my things back over to my apartment.”

I close my eyes. I send up a prayer that Chase will tell me to stay right where I am. That there’s no reason to move my stuff back into my apartment.

Instead, I hear him say, “Whatever is best for you, Val. That’s all I ever wanted.”

Then I hear the front open and close. When I finally turn around, Chase is gone.

My knees feel like they are about to buckle. I reach out and grab the countertop. I can hardly breathe. I feel like my heart is being cleaved out of my chest with a carving knife. I sink to my knees right there on the kitchen floor and start to sob into my hands.

When I finally lift my face, it’s red and blotchy. I’ve always been an ugly crier. I put my hand over my stomach. This emotion can’t be good for the baby. I take a deep breath and then shakily stand up.

I dully finish loading the dishwasher and then go into the bedroom and hurriedly grab a few basic clothes into my arms. I don’t want to be here when Chase comes home. I don’t want him to see my face all puffy and red. It’s obvious I’ve been crying.

When I open one of my dresser drawers, I see my hot pink lingerie. I quickly shut the drawer. I can’t look at any of those right now, and I doubt I will ever wear that color again.

I turn out the lights and then enter my apartment alone. I’m a coward. He still doesn’t know about the baby.