Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Madeline

When he opens the door, the sight of him is enough to make me feel weak. "Madeline," he says.

"Maddy, please," I say. Yeah, the words are silent. I clear my throat and say, "Maddy. Please. Call me Maddy."

He smiles slightly, tentatively. He thinks I'm here to fight. Maybe I am. I keep going back and forth between wanting to strangle him and wanting him to kiss me. "Hello, Maddy. Would you like to come in?"

I nod but still just stand there until he actually offers me his hand and then leads me inside like I'm a child who needs an adult to hold my hand when I walk somewhere. He leads me in and once I'm in, I say, "I… do you… I just… Do you really think I'm a spoiled cunt?"

I expect him to react either angrily or very sympathetically. Instead, he seems almost stern. "Maddy," he says, "you used that word, not me. I said you're a spoiled brat. Maybe that's not very nice but I would never call you a cunt . You did that."

He's right, of course. How do I just miss that somehow? How do I convince myself otherwise? "I don't know why," I say.

"Yes, you do," he replies. "Because your parents died and your grandfather died. And you were only seventeen. They tried to control you. Everyone tries to control you. So, you fight back. You do that even when someone's not trying to control you. Somewhere along the line, you weren't just fighting to keep someone from controlling you but to have control, too."

Damn. He's describing me perfectly. Of course, it's kind of like a horoscope, right? I mean, everyone fits that a little. He adds, "And then a man comes along who doesn't try to control you but doesn't let you do the controlling either."

"Well," I say, "thanks for the psychological assessment, Mr. Freud." I shake my head. "I don't know where you get off…" Then I gasp. "I… damn it! I don't want to fight, and you're right, kind of. I mean, it's not about control but if you called me a cunt then you're the one who's wrong and I'm not."

"I should be gentle with you," he says. "I should be gentler with people than I am. I know that."

"Uh… Gentle is important," I say. "But sometimes it's… It's not so important."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean… I mean sometimes you can be rough." After I say that, I just attack him.

I mean, I throw my arms around him and kiss him as hard as I can. Attacking this man would be a whole hell of lot like attacking a mountain. It would be like a skateboard attacking an eighteen-wheeler. Hell, I don't know how to explain it but it's a silly thing to even try to explain. I kiss him hard. I kiss him in an almost frenzied moment of desperation.

And it's perfect.

He kisses me back and this kiss is so… Damn. I mean, there's something to it, like we've gone through some catharsis or something. I don't know exactly how to explain it except to say that I'm experiencing a real connection now. This is beautiful. It's absolutely breathtaking, and I feel perfect.

Until he pushes me away.

I stare at him and I'm wavering between two horrible things. I'm on the razor's edge between screaming at the asshole for stopping or just breaking down and weeping like a baby.

He says in a voice that's filled with…

Well, hell, if his words were different, I might think of his voice as threatening. His tone is filled with ominous warning, if that makes sense. He says, "I won't be able to stop myself this time, Maddy. I won't be able to do the right thing. If we do this, I won't be able to back down."

His tone makes an already sexy statement even sexier. Scary, too. "You never called me a spoiled cunt but I'm definitely a spoiled brat, Lucas," I breathe out. "Why don't you teach me a lesson?"

All right, it's not the sexiest thing I might say, I know. But it's what comes out, and even if it's a damned stupid thing for me to say, it works.

He pulls me to him and all restraint is gone. I don't have any other way to describe it. He pulls me to him, and when he kisses me; there's nothing at all holding him back.

I mean…

I think only now do I understand just what this man is capable of. I don't want to be too overblown here. I don't want to be any more of a drama queen than I already am. However, the only thing I can say is that it definitely feels like I've awakened the beast inside of him. Yeah, yeah. I know that's a silly thing for me to say but it's also an accurate thing for me to say.

He tears my clothes off.

I almost mean that literally. As my clothes come off, there are definitely tears and rips in the process. Buttons go flying, too. You better believe me that his clothes would also be torn off him if I even had the ability to do that.

And then, he just lifts me up and carries me, draped over one arm like… like… well, fuck, what the hell is that like? Who's strong enough to carry a woman in the crook of his arm as though he's thrown her over his shoulder.

This man isn't strong. He's Hercules. He's Superman. He's… he's impossible!

And I'm naked and helpless!

And I'm so damned turned on I can't think.

This is my second time at his house. The first time, I never went inside. I certainly don't see much now because I'm upside down! But then I'm bouncing on a bed and staring at him as he looms over me. Damn, he's so… fuck! He looks at me with such incredible hunger in his eyes, and I'm completely transfixed as he undresses.

And all I can see is his face.

I can't pull my eyes away from the very powerful desire there. I can't break eye contact. I just can't! I stare at him in shock and something like desperation. Finally, though, he's naked and as he tosses his pants and boxers out of the way, he turns his head slightly, breaking the spell.

Well, I do what I imagine any girl is going to do.

I glance downward.

And holy crap.

Holy crap, that cock of his is huge!

It's huge enough that I think I might have to just use my hand and my mouth because how in the world is the damned thing going to fit inside of me? I stare at him and muster up the courage to say something. I hope like hell his comment about not being able to stop was rhetorical.

But he grabs my ankle, yanks me to the edge of the bed, and spreads my legs.

I plead, "Lucas, wait!"

Actually, that's just what I think I'm going to do.

Instead, I whisper, "Lucas! Lucas, yes!" as he drops down and puts his mouth on me.