Chapter 1

Caterina

“It’s not a death sentence, Caterina. It’s a wedding.”

I grit my teeth. My brother Marco, six years older than me and my self-appointed life ruiner, is sitting behind his huge desk with his hands folded like he’s some kind of supervillain.

To be fair.

He kind of is.

At least, he is to me right now.

“Marco,” I say slowly, my breath hissing through my teeth. “It’s not just a wedding. You know full well that the Rossi family murdered our parents. Do you really think that history isn’t going to repeat itself, especially given the circumstances?”

The circumstances, of course, are too similar to ignore. It was six years ago that our parents died in a tragic accident on the way back from an engagement party.

My engagement party.

To the same man that Marco is asking me to marry again.

He huffs out a breath and steeples his fingers, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Caterina, this is the only way. I can’t keep the business afloat without the contracts that the Rossi’s bring in. and if we can’t keep the business afloat, we can’t?—”

“—Find out what happened to mom and dad,” I interrupt him. “I know, Marco.”

We stare at each other across the desk.

Marco is the oldest of the four of us. Unfortunately, he’s not my only brother. There are two more, Dino and Sal, born close enough that anyone who can count would be a little suspicious, and then me.

The baby.

A title that Marco, at least, has taken seriously.

Sal, who is closest to me in age, at least treats me like a human being. I haven’t seen him in months; Marco has him on some kind of overseas connection for us since he speaks the best Italian.

Marco is also fluent, of course, and Dino can get by.

I can order ice cream and ask to see the beach, and that’s about it. Mostly I just make vowel sounds and look angry if people are using Italian around me, and it seems to work pretty effectively. Then again, I’ve never been to Italy, so I could be wrong.

But it hasn’t failed me yet.

Marco blinks at me. “Caterina.”

“Marco,” I respond. It’s not fair that he doesn’t have a longer name I can make him angry about. He knows that I hate being called Caterina, but he insists that Cat is too American.

As though we haven’t been American for at least four generations.

I fold my arms. “Do you really think that he is going to honor this stupid contract anyway?”

“He has to.” Marco’s face grows dark and shadowed as the specter of who we’re referring to enters the conversation.

Him. Elio Rossi.

Marco’s former childhood friend.

My one-time future husband.

And our current biggest enemy.

“Marriage contracts simply can’t be legally binding anymore,” I argue. “That has to be a thing that went the way of the dinosaurs in the ‘60s.”

“Dad wouldn’t have negotiated it if that were the case,” he says with a frown.

Marco frowns a lot these days.

For a split second, my heart aches for my older brother.

He was only twenty-eight when he was suddenly the head of everything. The legal business. The illegal business. Dad was a healthy man, and no one expected him to die.

Then again, I was only twenty-two when I became a mom so…

I guess no one got what they were hoping for.

Life has a way of doing that, I guess. Not in the sunshine and roses ‘everything works out in the end’ type of way.

No, for people like us, it’s mostly the ‘die-or-go-to-jail-for-a-long-time’ way.

Or, in my case, have a baby when you’re still a baby, and spend your life trying to hide her from her father, because if he finds out…

I shiver. That’s the other reason that I’m here begging my brother to call it off.

Elio cannot know about his daughter.

Because if he finds out, I think he’s probably going to kill us both.

Marco, however, thinks our family’s dwindling resources will be enough to keep Elio and his goons at bay until I can figure out the evidence that we need to prove that Elio and the rest of the Rossi family had our parents killed.

I think this is a terrible plan.

He has entirely too much faith in me, our security, our aunt Rosa, and our ability to pin the murder on Elio and his siblings.

I have faith in nothing anymore. My only hope is to keep my daughter safe. And you can’t do that based on faith.

“Marco. This is a shitty plan.”

“Language, Caterina.”

I do roll my eyes then. “I’m a grown woman. I’ve had a literal child. I can cuss if I want to.”

“Not if you’re going to play the part of a good Italian wife you won’t.”

I’m pretty sure that Marco’s ideas of a ‘good Italian wife’ are based on mob movies and grandpa’s tales of mob life in the 60’s, but I don’t point that out. To my knowledge, which is based on the internet and no other experience, Italian women have moved into the modern world with the rest of us.

Then again, families like ours and the Rossi’s go way back in history so…

Maybe old habits die hard.

“Luna will be just fine,” he says with a genuine smile.

I don’t return it.

He notices and the smile fades. “Caterina, seriously. You think that I would let my favorite niece come to any harm? If Elio finds her, he’s a dead man,” Marco says with a drop in his voice that makes me shiver.

Sometimes I forget that my brothers, while being my brothers, are also gangsters.

And they can be pretty freaking scary if they need to.

“I don’t doubt that. I know how much you love Luna. But Marco...” I squeeze my eyes shut against the tears that prick at the edges of my vision.

“Sorellina, I know. I know what I’m asking of you. I promise you that if I thought you or Luna would be in danger, I wouldn’t do it. It’s our only course of action, yes. But more than that, it’s a plan that will work,” he emphasizes the last word softly.

I shut my eyes tighter as the tears flood me. “Please don’t make me do this,” I whisper.

I really am begging now.

I hate it.

I don’t beg. Not to Marco, not my to other brothers. Not to anyone.

But I don’t want to see Elio ever again. Let alone marry him.

“Caterina, I swear to you. It’s a foolproof plan. We just need?—”

“Zietto Marco!” a small voice squeaks.

Instantly I steel myself. Luna can’t see me cry.

I won’t let her know how hard this is.

To her knowledge, she’s just going to stay with Nonna Mia for a while, my grandmother’s ancient half-sister. Nonna Mia is a black sheep in many ways, and since her connection to the family is tenuous at best, we figure she would be the best spot to hide Luna while we try and bring down Elio and the Rossi.

Also, she lives on a farm and has goats. Luna will be charmed the entire time.

There’s a blur of dark hair and light-up shoes, and my child throws herself in Marco’s lap. He laughs, then stands and swings her around. Her delighted shrieks are a balm to my nerves, but only slightly.

Any guilt that I’ve had over the years about Luna not having a father is entirely erased when she’s around my brothers. The three of them are protective as hell, and they spoil her better than any father could. They’re perfect together.

All the more reason that we don’t need Elio to be a part of our lives. Now, in the future, or ever again.

“Zietto, did you know that the outside of your door is seven feet and three and one four inches tall?”

I grin while Marco pretends to be surprised and engages with Luna.

Luna has been really into measuring things lately. I would blame her kindergarten teacher, but I love it. Her school does a lot of experiential learning, and a local hardware store gifted them all tape measures.

Luna has always loved to build and construct, so she’s been really interested in understanding how things are put together. There’s no doubt that she’s been outside of the office carefully measuring the doorframe for this entire conversation.

There’s also no doubt in my mind that she did so blissfully unaware of what we were talking about.

Being five is a blessing, and Luna is an even bigger one.

“We should go,” I whisper. It’s not safe for Luna and I to be around the main house; there’s no doubt that Elio and his spies have eyes all over this place.

Luckily, my grandfather was a wildly paranoid plan, and Luna and I can use the tunnel system that he installed to our advantage.

Elio hasn’t found out about her yet. He appears to have no interest in me whatsoever past that night, which is fine with me.

I’m done hating him for his indifference.

Apparently, my brothers and I have moved into a much colder phase of our feelings for Elio.

Revenge.

“One week, Sorellina. Then we begin.”

I gulp.

One week of waiting.

And then it’s time to marry my worst enemy.

And the father of my child.

The drive back to our townhouse is quick. I live close enough to the main house that I’m easy to get to if needed, and so that the security that Marco pays for can easily zip back and forth if required to.

Hans, my personal bodyguard, is German, unusual for a mafia hire, but he’s a great guy and a fantastic bodyguard. I wave at him as we walk in. He waves back; he and his wife are expecting a little girl in a few months, and he’s been asking a lot of questions about Luna’s birth in order to prepare to be supportive.

I love that. It’s exactly the kind of father a kid needs.

After I settle Luna in for bed, I pour a glass of the prosecco that I’m trying to bring to market and go out to my balcony. I linger, just for a minute, and grab the locket that I never take off.

Its only contents are a picture of my mom and me.

“I miss you, Mamma,” I whisper at the sky.

My mother was a ray of sunshine. She had been against the marriage contract with Elio from the beginning and had only agreed when the last of her uncles was thrown in jail, right before I was born.

I wasn’t certain what the exact terms of the contract were. My dad and Elio’s dad had come up with them while they were out drinking and carousing in Atlantic City, of all places, and they had ensured that neither one of their families had access to the safe deposit box.

A brilliant plan.

My mother thought so as well. She berated both of them, but at the time, I hadn’t been born yet. The deal was to have Giovanni Rossi’s first son marry Antonio De Luca’s oldest daughter.

Who turned out to be me.

To my knowledge, Marco still hasn’t seen the original document, and neither has Elio. The location of the original contract is still a mystery.

But the terms aren’t.

The Rossi family runs a shipping empire. They import luxury goods from every corner of the globe, but mostly through Europe.

Those goods come in to ports that were, at one time, staffed by De Luca workers. The De Lucas would then take the goods, along with anything else that showed up in those crates, and turn them into cash, which the Rossi’s would get a cut of.

A healthy cut of goods that were both legal and illegal.

The Rossi family is Italian. Like, Elio and all of his siblings except one were born in Italy and they only have citizenship in America because of some slick dealings and greased palms.

The De Lucas, via my great-grandfather and great-grandmother, came to the United States around the turn of the century. At first, we did quite well; there’s a whole section dedicated to us in The Mob Museum in Las Vegas. I’ve never been, but Dino says that it’s a hoot.

Then, along with the rest of organized crime in America, the feds got smarter than we were, and one by one, De Lucas filled up prisons from sea to shining sea.

With the lack of manpower came a decline in our ability to be the pin in the Rossi flow of goods. We still have a solid presence on the docks in the Port of New York, but it’s nowhere near what it used to be.

My dad and Elio’s dad must have been drunk on some prime shit, reminiscing about some old times, in order to dream up this ridiculous arrangement.

With the unification of the families, the Rossi’s agreed to only use De Luca docks and De Luca distributors to sell. This is a terrible plan because the amount of goods that Rossi Industries brings in would vastly overwhelm our workforce.

I have no idea what Elio gets out of this deal.

Well... I did once. I grimace and sip my prosecco.

Me.

There was a time when Elio and I would have been good for each other. I was a wide-eyed girl, just starting my junior year of college. He was handsome; he’s my brother’s age, and they had been friends since grade school.

I can’t remember how handsome he is.

Physically, I’m capable of remembering. I see his unusual grey eyes every time I look at my daughter’s face. I see the slope of his cheeks, the tilt of his nose. There’s no doubt that she has Elio’s face.

Thank God it’s a pretty face, for both of their sakes.

And thank God even more for the fact that her personality is all mine.

I’m capable of remembering how handsome Elio is for sure.

But I can’t remember it.

Because if I think about how attractive he is, how he makes my knees feel soft and wobbly when he smiles that dimpled smile, I’m going to do something stupid.

And I can’t be stupid.

Not in this.

Not when so much is riding on it.

Elio Rossi made me very, very stupid once.

And I’m never going to be that girl again.

Elio

There’s only one week left until I finally get my revenge on Marco De Luca.

It’s going to be the longest fucking week of my life.

Since I dislike spending any time stewing in my own dread, I’ve decided to spend the week at my villa in Tivoli as a way to avoid the impending disaster of the marriage contract.

It’s a little treat. Something I’m giving myself before my life totally goes to hell, and I turn into the villain in so many stories.

It’s a price I’m willing to pay if it means that our parents will finally be avenged.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the light scent of the orange blossoms from the trees that are scattered through my property.

I love it here. This is the only one of our many familial properties and holdings that is truly and completely mine. I bought it seven years ago, intending for the villa to be a wedding gift for the beautiful and young Caterina De Luca.

She never saw it, so it became a gift to me. It’s a haven, of sorts, that I have used many times since that horrible night.

If I had to, however, I’d trade it to have my parents back in a heartbeat.

I’m brought from my reverie by the crisp sound of heels clicking down the marble hallway to my office. “Boss,” my twin sister Gia, knocks on the doorframe in a very cursory gesture of respect before entering my space. “New intel.”

I grimace.

First, Gia only calls me ‘boss’ when she’s got some really fucking bad news.

Second, if the intel is new, I don’t want it.

The plan was perfect as I had it. If there are any adjustments, any pivots…

That perfection is gone.

And I demand nothing but perfection.

Softly I curse in Italian before looking at my sister. “What, Gia?”

She raises her eyebrows, and her hands crack like she’s holding back from punching me in the face.

Well.

That makes two of us, I guess.

“Your bride to be is suspicious as hell.”

I snort. I know that’s the truth: for years she was simply beneath my notice, and so I didn’t invest any time into finding or keeping her in one place.

Quite honestly, I never wanted to lay eyes on Caterina De Luca ever again.

And yet.

I sigh.

Being a Rossi is sacrifice. It costs us everything and gives us everything.

I’m sure my father didn’t intend for that to include the cost of his life when he said it, but here we are.

Both of our lives, gone.

Given to the family. To the business. Given in service of a deal with the devil that wore the face of a friend.

The De Lucas were close with us once. American, though their ancestors had come from Italy, they were my family’s ‘in’ to the ocean of untapped buyers that the States offered us.

Somehow, every last one of them landed behind bars. Which meant their ability to operate ports and find markets for our particular brand of exports diminished.

Which meant their usefulness to us ended.

It never made sense to me that Father had entered into such a stupid bargain with the De Lucas. We didn’t need them.

After their grip on the Port of New York loosened, we found other pathways. The Russians. The Japanese. Hell, even the Irish offered a more promising route to American markets than the De Lucas did.

But after one weekend in Atlantic City, my father came back and declared that he and Antonio De Luca had made an agreement. An arrangement. Binding the two families together.

An oldest son for an oldest daughter.

The irony, of course, is that the oldest daughter was also the youngest daughter. Six years younger than me, Catarina De Luca started out as my friend Marco’s little sister.

That’s how I thought of her. For years. I had known, of course, that we would be married at some point.

My father made it very clear to me when I entered my teens that any female companionship that I managed to wrangle would have to be non-committal at best, because Catarina De Luca would be my wife someday.

As with all of the men in my family, my father had a healthy appreciation for sex workers and mistresses, and while he did not discourage the use of either, he did encourage me to keep it quiet. I didn’t need to be told twice, and it wasn’t like I could mess around too much anyway.

After all, for every private party or club I went to, my bride’s older brother was right there next to me.

I would miss Marco, I supposed.

If I did not hate him so violently.

“What is the intel, Gia,” I say with exactly as much exasperation as I feel.

She slaps down a packet of pictures. “Bodyguard. On her 24/7. Looks like just one though. A condo. I think she nannies for a little girl in the family. Any of the brothers have a good time they forgot to keep under wraps?”

Gia’s puns will be the death of me.

Provided, of course, that any of the other multitude of actors slavering for my demise don’t work out.

“Marco probably not. I imagine he got the same level of emphasis that I did about accidental… mishaps.”

“The others?” she prompts.

I frown. “Dino and…”

“Sal. The hot one,” she clarifies.

“Gia. He is three years younger than you.”

She arches an eyebrow. “Hotness doesn’t have an age.”

Ugh. She sounds so American. “He is the son of the man who killed our parents.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s still hot. Anyway. Either one of them have a surprise baby?”

I sigh. “We should look into it. That type of leverage could be useful.”

“More useful than being married to their precious baby angel younger sister?”

Her tone is sharp. I know she doesn’t approve of this plan.

It is, however, the best option.

“We will have a backup. If the child proves useful, we will make use of it. If Caterina is the most useful, we will make use of her. Find out who is the father, and we will go from there.”

Gia gathers the pictures and taps them sharply, collecting them back into one pile. “You know,” she says with a pause. “You don’t have to do this.”

I close my eyes. “Not this again, Gia.”

“Listen. We can send Enzo. He can work his way up in the organization…”

“Enzo, who is nearly identical to Father at that age?”

Gia shakes her head. “They don’t know. It’s not like there’s a picture of him lying around the De Luca estate or anything.”

“Marco will know. He spent plenty of time with Father and I.”

“I know, but if we can just find the contract…”

I slam my fist down on my desk. “Enough, Gia!”

The hurt in her eyes cuts me, but I hold her gaze. Gia and I are fraternal twins, but our looks are so similar that when we were both tiny and sported terrible bowl cuts, people would mistake us for each other.

She is my sister. My best friend. My closest confidante.

And even to her, I am a monster.

Sacrifice. “We are not looking for the contract, Gia. There’s no point. The only way for us to get Marco and the De Luca’s to admit that they killed our parents is to use their greatest weakness against them.

Catarina is young. She’s na?ve. She’s been sheltered by three older brothers who would do anything for her, and she’s the person who will hurt them the most when we take her.”

Gia’s expression morphs into something hard. Her lips draw tight, and the corners of her eyes look pinched.

“I understand, boss.”

With that, she leaves.

I sit back in my chair. My head is pounding now, and I lean forward to pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers. The orange blossom scented air reaches out to me again, and I inhale deeply, letting it soothe me as I try to think around the pulsing in my mind.

Everything that I said about Caterina is true.

She is the youngest of the De Lucas. She’s been painfully sheltered by her three older brothers to the point where her innocence is so obvious on her face that it’s almost palpable.

After Marco and I graduated business school, I moved back to Italy. An American education through young adulthood was plenty for my family, but the promise of a business degree had been mine.

The last time I saw Caterina prior to our engagement party, she was fourteen. She was all legs and glasses and frizzy, wild curls. Remembering Gia at that age, I had been polite but indifferent. I had kept a wide berth from her, because she was a child.

When I saw her again at our engagement party, I had been expecting that child.

But instead, a woman had shown up.

I think Marco may have pinched me a little too hard when his sister, on the arms of Sal, the brother closest to her in age, walked into the room.

I breathe in the citrus blossoms again. Dio santo, I remember everything about that night.

Her dress. A lilac color that made her look like some kind of fairy tale princess.

The way her skin glowed in the candlelight.

The way her lips had rounded on my name, shaping it into syllables that I knew, but hearing them from her made me feel reborn.

The way her eyes glittered when we danced.

My jaw works as I try to stop myself from remembering more.

Because there is so much more to remember.

The sweet surprise of her lips as I parted them with my tongue. The little noises she made when I pushed the gown off of her shoulders, releasing her pert breasts to the cool night air. The way she gasped my name, first as she came around my fingers, next as she came…

Stop .

The command is final. I drag myself, kicking and screaming, from the memory of Caterina that floods my senses. She’s a feast for my imagination, and my mind wants nothing more than to stay and gorge as I think about every small detail of that night.

However, that way is madness.

I know.

Because I’ve been fighting it ever since we separated that night.

I have long stopped feeling affection for Caterina. Once, I may have done just that. She had no guile in her, or so I had thought, that night under the stars.

But like everything about her, it was a lie.

One carefully crafted to disguise the real intentions of the dinner party that night.

To cover a murder.

There is no doubt in my mind that the De Lucas did not intend to honor their business deal. They clearly dangled a willing Caterina in front of me as bait, to distract my siblings and I from their real angle.

My throat gulps back the bitter feeling in my stomach.

I don’t know anything about Caterina De Luca, despite the fact that I thought I might have once.

I thought I knew all of them.

I bark out a bitter laugh before I can stop myself.

I doubt she was even a virgin. I’m sure she had some trick to explain why she was so tight, or where the blood came from that night.

She hid everything else from me after all.

What reason do I have to believe otherwise?

No, there is no doubt that the De Lucas orchestrated the death of our parents. I want to find some bitter satisfaction in the idea that, while our parents were murdered, so were theirs.

But it probably was just part of their plan that had gone wrong.

Marco isn’t nearly as intelligent as I.

However, after six years of searching for the original contract and trying to find evidence that would justify a retaliatory attack, my efforts were alarmingly fruitless.

I wasn’t about to risk an open attack on them. Not without proof.

I might be a criminal and a degenerate, but even I know better than to start a war without allies.

And allies need proof.

Especially in our world, the De Lucas were small, but begrudgingly well connected. Despite the remarkable amount of them that had been locked up in the great culling of the families in the States in the 80s and 90s, none of them flipped on their international allies. In fact, many of the other organizations still backed the slimy assholes, and that wouldn’t work for me.

I didn’t want vengeance on them. Not exactly.

I want annihilation.

Nobody comes after the people I love and survives. This is as true today as it was then. I protect my business interests with a ferocity that is renowned the world over, but that intensity pales in comparison to how I protect my family.

The De Lucas harmed me. They harmed my siblings. They took my father and my mother from the world, which eventually broke my Nonna’s heart.

They hurt me.

And now it was their turn to hurt.

In order to wipe them from the planet completely, I needed those allies. I needed everyone to turn their backs on the De Lucas, so that they were alone and desperate. I needed them to be without a single friendly soul to call out to.

And then, I would strike.

After, of course, I made them admit to their part in my family’s murder.

I sigh and sit up. My phone is vibrating with a number of notifications. I glance at it quickly before I drag out a pen and paper to start making a list.

I have been told, by Gia, that I should hire a personal assistant.

I have also told Gia that I would rather take my eyes out with a melon baller than trust my organization system to another living being.

She told me I was throwing a dramatic ‘mantrum’ and stalked away, but she never brought it up again.

If what she’s saying is true about the child, this would be a helpful backup indeed. I make some notes on the paper, assigning some of my more specialized operatives to the task.

The great irony, of course, in claiming that one of the De Luca boys has a bastard is that while I have been vigilant my whole life about having protected sex, there is one time that I didn’t.

And I can’t think about it because if I do, the memories I have worked so hard to suppress will come roaring back.

I cannot think of Caterina like that. I can’t remember her taste, or her smell, or the way she moans and flushes pink when she comes.

I can’t think of her that way because I refuse to let her close to me again.

This time, I think darkly as I open my email, will be different.

This time Caterina won’t be able to control me.

I will control her.

And through that, I’ll get the vengeance that I am owed.

Caterina

Today

My hands shake as I move my necklace so the locket is in the center of the chain, heart-shaped and winking at my collarbone. My makeup looks immaculate, and instead of the slightly disheveled single mom looking at me, I see someone else entirely.

Someone who has been coiffed within an inch of her life.

Someone elegant.

Someone who looks like she could be Elio Rossi’s wife.

I definitely look a little different than the last time Elio saw me. I use a lot more night creams and potions now, that’s for sure. My skin is slightly less naturally dewy, more artificially so.

There’s another difference.

When he saw me last, I was a girl. I was in my early 20s, sure. I had my degree in accounting from Columbia practically emblazoned across my chest, and I had just passed my CPA exams.

The world felt like it was going in my favor. I felt like I was made of sunshine and starlight, despite the fact that my family was active in the organized crime world.

I had everything I wanted, and I didn’t even know what that was.

I cringe when I think about that girl.

I thought I knew everything.

I knew nothing.

So, no. The woman who is heading to meet Elio today isn’t the same wide-eyed girl who saw him last. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see someone who is swayed by pretty words and a handsome face.

My eyes are harder, my cheekbones more pronounced. I frown as often as I smile, and my lovely daughter has put more than one gray hair on my head, which I’ve carefully concealed with a well-timed salon trip.

No, this time I’m much less easy to fool.

And I’m kind of proud of that fact.

I push my shoulders back as I think about who I am now. I’m someone who has had a baby. A whole goddamn human grew in my body, and I care for her. I have a job that I love, even if it’s one that others wouldn’t find very glamorous. But, everyone needs a CPA.

Especially if you’re trying to dodge giving the government all of your hard-earned illegal cash.

I’m shocked to realize that I actually like myself more now than I did then.

I wonder if Elio will like me now too.

I almost bark out a laugh at the thought. I’m not trying to win Elio’s approval.

Not this time.

Last time though, Elio’s approval, and his love, were on the top of my mind as I got ready for my engagement party.

Shutting my eyes, I sink into the memory of that pivotal night six years ago.

I don’t need to think that hard to remember how my last engagement party went.

The whole thing lives in my head, and I think about it far, far too often.

Six years ago

My heart is in my throat and my palms are sweating.

I’m frozen in the car. I know I’m supposed to get out but I can’t get out, because if I do, I’m going to cry.

Or scream.

Or both.

Elio Rossi is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I know that he’s my brother’s age, and I know that I’ve been obsessed with him for just as long.

I don’t have any illusions that he feels the same about me. For him, this is a business arrangement. It’s something our fathers cooked up after a wild weekend in Atlantic City, something that they want for the business.

Or for nostalgia.

I’m not really sure, actually, but I do know that both of them are wholeheartedly behind this marriage.

And I’m not sure at all how Elio feels about it.

“Let’s go, sorellina,” Marco calls to me from the open car door. “This isn’t Groundhog Gay, you have to come out sometime.”

Oh. God.

Now Elio thinks I’m hiding in the car.

I scoot to the side and stick one leg out. “I’m not…”

The heel of my shoe catches on the floor mat.

For a heart-stopping moment, I know I’m going to fall.

Then, strong arms pick grab me. “Easy there, tesoro,” I hear a deep voice rumble.

“Oh god, seriously Caterina? You fall on your own feet? I swear man, she’d lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her shoulders.”

“I’ll catch her. No problem.”

The light Italian accent is a dead giveaway.

I look up and blink.

Elio Rossi has his hand on my arm and smiles at me.

And my world tilts on its axis.

“Come. Let’s go to our party.”

In a daze, I take his hand, and I follow him.

I start to fade out by the third hour. I’ve shaken so many hands. Nodded. Smiled. Accepted so many well-wishes.

The party is outdoors, which is unusual, but the spring night is light and easy. Lights have been strung up in the trees around us, and there’s huge, long tables filled with food. My mom called it ‘rustic’ and said it would make all the Italians more comfortable because of the casual elegance.

I don’t know who any of these people are, but they seem to be having a good time.

“Caterina. Walk with me?”

I look into Elio’s handsome face.

He’s been perfect this entire time. Gracious. Kind. Thoughtful. He fetches me water and kisses people’s babies and gives the old women flattering compliments that have them blushing and sighing.

I blink. “But our guests…”

“Can wait. Let’s take a walk.”

I could never say no to that face.

Elio takes me away from the party. We walk a ways into the woods. My dad told me that the Rossi estate extends for miles on either side, the woods on either side thick and quiet.

Finally, he pauses next to a small pond, and gestures for me to stand next to him.

“Hi,” he says with a smile that makes my heart beat faster in my chest.

“Hi,” I respond shyly.

“So. That was a lot,” his eyes twinkle in the moonlight, and I smile in response.

“Yeah. Was that your zia who decided to dance on the table?”

“After having way too many glasses of red? You bet. Zia Lucia was the best stripper in Naples for many years.”

I laugh. “Really?”

“Really. When Zio Andreas married her, it was the talk of the town for about six months.”

I tilt my head at him. His accent is light, but definitely there. “How much time do you spend in Italy?”

“Most of it, until I started high school. My parents thought it was important to go to an American school in order to get access to American colleges.”

“Oh. How does that work? Did you get like a passport?” I’m just asking questions, but mostly I’m staring into his beautiful face.

He laughs and turns to me, then cups my cheek with one hand. “Tesoro, you know that kind of stuff doesn’t matter for people like us, no?”

With those words, reality crashes amount me again.

I’m marrying this man.

Who is older. Who knows more than I do.

I feel small and afraid. I pull back and wrap my arms around myself. “Yeah, I guess,” I say in a small voice.

His eyebrows push together. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Oh tesoro,” he takes another step toward me, but doesn’t continue when I step back. “It’s okay. You can tell me.”

“Um…” my father’s words flash in my mind. Be a good wife. Don’t upset him. Make sure that he feels like he’s in control.

I don’t know how to do that.

I’m not even a good sister. I’m kind of a good daughter, in the sense that I get good grades and I don’t talk back to my parents.

I have no idea how to be a good wife, much less manipulate Elio into doing something or acting in a certain way.

His eyes harden. “What have you heard about me?”

“Nothing, really,” I frown. “I remember you hanging out with Marco from some parties when we were kids. He tells me that you’re a nice guy.”

He laughs. “From Marco, I guess that is a compliment.”

“It is. And that’s about it.”

“Well then, cara,” he smiles. “Let me tell you more. I am Elio Rossi. I have a degree from Harvard Business School in economics. I’m the oldest son of the Rossi family. And soon, I’m going to be Caterina De Luca’s husband.”

I glance at him through my lashes. “I thought I was going to be your wife?”

“We belong to each other, cara mia,” he says with a smile. “This is a job that’s been given to both of us. And I very much intend to do a good job.”

His smile makes me blush, but I also feel the same kind of helplessness that has marked this whole situation for me.

“Thanks. I… it’s nice to hear,” I say.

“But you are still unhappy.” Elio frowns. “Is there… is there someone else?”

His words darken slightly, and I shake my head, lest the wrath of Elio Rossi come down on some poor guy who made my coffee or something. “No. There’s no one else. It’s just… it’s all so unfair, you know? We’re adults. We’re our own people. And yet here we are, getting married, just like our family wants us to.”

He sighs. “That’s life. It’s the life we live. There’s nothing to be done about it, so we might as well make the best of it.”

“But don’t you think it’s unfair?”

Elio shrugs. “What I think about it doesn’t matter. What it is matters.”

“Oh, come on. You don’t have any opinion? You were forced into this as much as I was!”

“And I’m happy to be here, cara mia,” he grins.

I roll my eyes. “Well, yeah, but seriously Elio. What if we don’t get along? I mean, I haven’t even kissed you!”

“Do you want to?”

The words freeze me in place. “What?”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

I blink. “Well. I mean. Yeah, but I’m not sure?”

Elio doesn’t wait for me to say anything else.

Moments later I’m swept up into his arms. His lips are on mine.

And my body ignites.

I’ve kissed other boys before. I’m not a nun and my brothers don’t know my life. I haven’t had sex, sure, but I’ve definitely kissed.

Elio’s kiss blows everything else out of the water.

His lips are soft and firm, and when he grips the back of my neck to deepen our connection I gladly do so, letting out a little sigh while he does.

He groans into my mouth. “Caterina, you are so sweet…”

“Cat,” I whisper and pull back. “I go by Cat.”

His eyes glitter. “Cat it is then. Will you give me the pleasure of another kiss, my Cat?”

Yes.

I don’t say that. I just lean forward.

Elio’s mouth on mine is like fire.

I’m lost in him.

I’m not even sure where he begins and where I end. My body is just sensations, rolled together into each other, crashing over me in waves.

I want more.

Elio’s lips skate down my neck and I’m gasping, pressing against him like I’m actually a cat, rubbing on him for contact.

“Elio,” I breathe as his hands skate dangerously close to the top of my dress. “I want more.”

He freezes. “Cat, how much…”

“Everything,” I whisper.

His eyes go wide. “But…”

“Here. Right now. We couldn’t choose each other, but we can choose this.”

Elio stares at me for another moment, then nods. “God save me. I want you too, Cat.”

He wants me too.

There’s some space under the tree, and he lays his jacket down. I move, shifting from the bench to the spot he made. His face is tight. “Cara mia, this isn’t right. It’s not how I want to…”

“But it’s what I want, Elio,” I whisper. I lean down on his jacket and slowly pull the sleeves of my dress down.

His eyes go wide as my breasts are bared to the night air, and I smile.

“We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. What’s the harm in a little fun right now?”

He swallows. “Cat, I don’t have any…”

“We don’t need protection. I trust you. And I know if we did have a baby, they would be loved. By us. By both families,” I whisper. “Your Zia Lucia will have something to do with her time other than practice her pole routine.”

He laughs, his eyes glued to me. He locks gazes with me. “Are you sure?”

I part my legs in response.

Elio curses in Italian, then kneels down. One of his hands skates up my legs, a wave of goosebumps following it.

He pushes my legs apart further. “Dio, Cat. You are not wearing anything here today?”

“You saw this dress. I wasn’t about to walk into a room full of aunties with my panty lines hanging out.”

He laughs softly, his eyes still trained on my core, which is rapidly becoming very wet for him.

“I wish we were in a bed,” he whispers.

“Elio I…”

I don’t have time to finish, because Elio’s mouth is licking between my thighs and all I can do is gasp.

Holy cow.

He’s good at this.

I pull my dress aside a little and sit up on my elbows.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Seeing Elio’s handsome face devouring me is almost enough to make me come on the spot.

I cry out, feeling a sensation across my spine. “I…”

“Do you want more, cara mia?”

I know what he’s asking.

And I do.

I nod at him. “Yes, please,” I whisper.

His eyes glitter as he looks at me again. “I’m clean, I can show you…”

“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “I’ve never done this before and it’s not like I’m going to with anyone else because we’ll be married…”

“What did you say?”

I blink. Oh no. Is he going to think I’m weird? “Um… Well, I just haven’t, you know. Had a chance.”

“Caterina. Cat. You’re telling me that you’ve never… that I am your first?”

Soundlessly, I nod.

Something dark flashes in Elio’s eyes. “Tesoro, what a gift you give me,” he purrs. His accent is thicker now, and I can tell that he likes this idea.

He likes it a lot.

He surges up and gives me a hard kiss. I’m panting into his mouth by the end of it, my center wet and hot with anticipation.

Elio pushes my legs apart and I hear his buckle clink in the darkness.

My heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest…