Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

Rose

“Have you been sleeping in your clothes?”

Brandon leaps from the chair and perches on the edge of the hospital bed, his large warm hands closing around mine. There are dark circles under his eyes, at least two days’ worth of stubble on his chin, and a stain on the front of his sweater that can only be coffee.

“I didn’t pack pajamas for the trip. I didn’t think I’d be needing them.”

I smile beneath the oxygen mask. I’m not sure if he can tell, but the lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes tell me that I needn’t worry.

I’ve never felt so vulnerable. When Robbie and I split up and my job fell through, I felt lost, like I was moving through life in a dream state with no real direction. But I didn’t feel vulnerable. I was still strong, still determined to grab my life by the balls and make things happen.

Now, lying here in a hospital bed with an IV inserted into my flesh and a drip feeding me medication from a plastic bag on a nearby stand, I feel weak. Exposed. As fragile and dependent as a newborn baby, and I don’t know how to deal with the strange emotions being invoked inside me.

“How are you feeling, Rose?”

“Never better.” My eyelids droop.

When I open my eyes again, Brandon is dozing in the seat next to the bed, his mouth slack, his breathing even. He looks like a child when he sleeps, so innocent and serene that I can’t help smiling to myself.

“I wasn’t asleep.” His eyes fly open, and he smothers a yawn with one hand.

“How long have I been here?”

“Twenty-four hours. Not that I’m counting.”

“How did you find me?” A dry cough erupts from my throat, and Brandon raises the mask so that I can sip water from the plastic straw he holds to my lips.

“Long story.” He replaces the cup and sits on the bed, raising my hand to his cheek. “I only wish I…” He moves my hand to his lips and squeezes his eyes shut.

There’s another question that’s boring a hole through my chest and filling me with a chill that I think I’ll never be able to erase. The last thing I remember before I lost consciousness is lying beside Jennifer, wishing that I could’ve done more to protect her. I remember struggling to breathe, trying to quell the rising panic in my throat, praying that it would be over quickly. Then darkness.

“Jennifer?” I whisper her name.

“She’s going to be all right. I haven’t been to see her yet—I didn’t want to leave you—but Sam has been providing me with updates. They had to reset her jaw, and she had some internal injuries, but she’s a fighter. Like you.”

I shake my head. “She’s far braver than I could ever be.”

“Don’t ever sell yourself short, Rose. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must’ve felt. You must’ve been so scared.” He lowers my hand, his thumb playing with the engagement ring. “What do you remember?”

“Not much. Your car picked me up outside your apartment. I didn’t realize until I climbed in that someone else was already in the car. Then nothing until I woke up in darkness.”

“Did you see a face? Would you recognize them again?”

I shake my head. “If Jennifer wasn’t there, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I’m so sorry for dragging her into this.”

“Hey, none of this is your fault. I’m the one who is sorry, Rose. I should’ve listened to you. I should never have shut you down without at least hearing you out. If I had, none of this would’ve happened. We’d be soaking our feet on a pool lounger and counting our winnings from the roulette table.”

“Singing along to ‘The First Cut is the Deepest’.”

He smiles, and I can almost see the relief visibly draining from his body. “I haven’t forgotten the leopard print pants.”

“I should hope not.”

“Was that your attempt at a stern voice, Rose?” When I wrinkle my nose, he adds, “I can see that I’m going to have to give you some lessons.”

“You want me to be stern with you?”

“Yes.” He hesitates. “Occasionally. Maybe just a little. Enough to keep me out of trouble, anyway.”

I try to sit up, and he rushes to help, plumping the pillows behind me and easing me back down against them. “I thought I was the one who needed to be kept out of trouble.”

He rubs his face, and I notice his hand trembling. “Seriously, Rose, if this has taught me one thing, it’s that I want to spend the rest of my life protecting you. I’m never going to let you out of my sight again.”

Tears well in my eyes and catch on my eyelashes. “Is that a promise?”

“It’s a promise.” He twists the rings around my fingers. “I want to buy you a proper wedding ring… If you’ll have me.”

“Do you really need to ask?”

As a little girl, I imagined being proposed to by Prince Charming at a grand ball where we would spend the evening dancing together while people admired my dazzling ballgown. Glass slippers optional. As a teenager, I went through a phase of picturing a Freddie Prinze Jr. look-alike taking me for a ride on the back of his Harley and proposing to me with a backdrop of foamy ocean and palm trees.

But I realize now, nothing beats hearing Brandon Weiss asking me if I’ll have him in a hospital room in whichever city we’re currently in, with a needle inserted into the back of my hand, and happy tears pooling around the edge of an oxygen mask. I could never in a million years have predicted it this way, and that’s the whole point, I guess.

Love is unpredictable, and romantic, no matter how it’s dressed.

“I guess, I just need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, I’ll have you, Brandon, with or without the leopard print pants.”

“That can be arranged too.”

We settle into a comfortable silence. I feel bone-weary but full of life with Brandon by my side. Fragile, but the strongest woman in the world. Because, although he said he wants to protect me, he has no idea how badly I want to protect him too.

Maybe, one day, I’ll tell him.

For now, though, I feel as if I can relax for the first time in as long as I can remember.

I remember Harry’s heart attack with a jolt. “How is your dad?”

“They’re sending him home tomorrow.”

Am I imagining it, or did I see him bristle when I mentioned his dad? “Your mom must be happy.”

“I think she’s starting to realize that he was easier to manage when he was in the office all day.”

“I should call my dad, Brandon, let him know that I’m okay. I haven’t spoken to him since we went to Vegas.”

I hope he hasn’t seen any photos of me and Brandon together in the tabloids. I have a whole load of explaining to do when I go home.

“Ah, about that.” Brandon scrunches up his face like he just bit into a slice of lemon. “I may have let it slip that we were back in New York.”

“What? How?” I try to sit up, and my breathing grows too shallow too fast.

“Stay calm. It’s okay, I’ve sorted it.” He strokes my hair away from my face and tells me that my dad knows all about the trip to Vegas and the wedding. “Turns out, he approves of me as a son-in-law.”

“I’ll believe that when I hear it for myself.”

“Hmm, it might just happen sooner than you think.” Brandon stands up, and I instantly miss his body next to mine. He goes to the door, opens it, and stands back.

My dad walks in, concern etched across his forehead. “Hello, Rose.” He produces a bunch of flowers from behind his back.

“Dad!”

My dad hugs me, and I mouth “Thank you” to Brandon over his shoulder.

I’m still feeling cozy and warm inside from seeing my dad when the doctor comes around later to speak with me.

Dad said Brandon is everything he could’ve ever wanted for me, and it has nothing to do with the name Weiss, or the zeros on his bank balance, or the flashy New York City tower. It’s all about Brandon, the man he sees when he’s with me.

He sees a man who will do whatever it takes to protect me, to make me feel special, and loved, and wanted, and it would be the same whether we lived in a cave in the mountains or in an uber-expensive apartment on the Upper East Side.

“Although I’d prefer it if you didn’t move away,” Dad said, smiling. “I don’t know what I’d be without you, Rose. And besides, I want to see my grandkids grow up.”

“How are you feeling?” The doctor stands at the end of the bed in his white coat, his gaze drifting between me and Brandon. He has olive skin, brown eyes, and the kind of smile that lights up his face and sucks people in, and my immediate thought is that he should be on the big screen.

“A little more human.” I wriggle my fingers that are smothered by Brandon’s warm hand and tell myself that I can get used to this.

The doctor nods. “It will take time for you to build up your strength after the ordeal you’ve experienced, both mentally and physically.” He watches me for a reaction. “I’d like to refer you for trauma counseling. How do you feel about that?”

“Okay, I guess.” I shrug.

I’ve considered having counseling many times over the past few years, but I’ve never been able to afford the fees. I believe that it will help me better understand the survival guilt that I’ve carried around with me all my life as well as what has happened recently.

I glance at Brandon, see the concern in his eyes, and add, “Yes, I would like that. Thank you.” No secrets.

“Well, you’ll be pleased to know that there will be no lasting damage caused by the lack of oxygen to your brain. You were lucky, Rose. You both were.”

Brandon squeezes my hand and I smile at him.

“Oh, and one more thing. We carried out extensive tests when you were brought in. Were you aware that you’re pregnant?”

“Pregnant?” Brandon and I both blurt out together.

“You’re in the very early stages of pregnancy—we’re talking days rather than weeks—and the fetus is doing well.”

“What? I… No… How is that even possible?”

The doctor smiles, setting the room aglow—I bet he melts a lot of hearts that way, metaphorically speaking. “I’m sure I don’t need to explain the mechanics of how it happened. Well, I’ll leave you both alone. You need plenty of rest, Rose. Oh, and congratulations.”

We wait for the door to close behind him.

“Brandon, I don’t know what to say.” I’m scared that this is going to frighten him away and I’m just waiting for the moment when he releases my hand and walks to the door.

“It’s… Well, it’s not what I was expecting him to say.”

I chew my bottom lip. Here it comes, I tell myself. He’s going to tell me that he’s still coming to terms with being married, and he never factored a baby into the equation.

I never factored a baby into the equation, but I swear, now that I know about it, I can feel it growing inside me, and it feels like it was always meant to be this way. It’s as if all the jigsaw pieces are slotting into place, and all we have to do is sit back and enjoy them. I only hope that Brandon sees it that way too.

“Rose, I…” He swallows, avoids making eye contact, and I feel his hand trembling on mine. “You’ll be the best mom our child could ever want.”

The warm glow that started when Brandon flew my dad here to see me, fanned into a flame that lit me up from the inside out. It burned so brightly that I was certain it would keep Brandon warm too.

“You’re not angry?”

“I’m scared, Rose. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, because I’ve never thought about being a father. I don’t even know how to hold a baby.”

I laugh out loud. “You’ll learn.”

“What if I…” Frown lines crease his forehead.

“There’ll be plenty of what-if’s.” I lean forward and kiss the grooves away. “For both of us.”

Brandon wraps his arms around me and kisses me on the lips, and I know that everything is going to be okay.