18. First Results

EIGHTEEN

Charis hadn't understoodit at first—why the stadium looks that way. It seemed like an odd choice, charcoal-burnt and futuristic.

But now he understands. In keeping with the show's theme of Gleam, the stadium is like the night sky, pitch black and vacant, and they're the stars that fill it up with their shine. They're dressed in their regular clothes today, wearing brooches shaped like eight-pointed stars as big as their palms, encrusted with silver and white rhinestones that glitter on their breasts under the hot lights.

Everyone is hungry with anticipation, but the results come in, and they're not good.

"In fifth place, B-Love!"

Yejun looks stunned stiff, and Jinho is quietly unhappy. Even Soojung looks upset.

"It's alright," Michael, their leader, says once he's recovered. It's to his credit that he recovers quickly, a fast thinker and light on his feet. "We're the youngest and the newest, and we prepared for this, right? This just means that we have to work even harder next time."

He draws out the reluctant agreement from his members, although it comes slow.

From there, the rankings go from bottom to top: B-Love, 4QY, Revolution… and then Fairytale, leaving the top spot for First Love.

They don't even seem excited as they take in the news. There's no flurry of activity like hungry puppies celebrating together. They're almost offputtingly still and smug, as though they're taking it as their due. There's a little bit of shifting in the stands as they turn and smirk at each other.

Charis' ears are buzzing.

As soon as the results are announced, the mood over in Fairytale's portion of the stands is stunned and somber. Although they're professionals, the cameras still capture the expressions of fleeting hurt that flash across their faces too quickly to be suppressed.

It's not that they had been resting on their laurels, exactly, and they'd been cautious. They'd all acknowledged that it was going to be a tough fight. After all, there were so many talented idol groups here, and some of them had been working for much longer than Fairytale. That's why Hwa Chungae had called a meeting and they'd prepared so well.

Still, they had trusted in their fanbase, in their Charms. Whatever else is true, and for all their other talents, one of Fairytale's real talents is doing fan service. Their Charms love them, and they in turn are appreciative and grateful for their fans' love and support. Their Charms have helped them steadily climb to the tops of charts both nationally and internationally?—

It's why they weren't expecting to get blown out of the water so badly in the first round of voting.

"We… lost?" Miyong says.

His voice rings hollow in the vast stadium, which seems to eat the sound of his voice as surely as the actual night sky, remote and uncaring.

They didn't just lose. They were absolutely crushed. They came in second place, but there was a gulf of a landslide between their vote count and First Love's, who had left everyone else in the dirt.

"We lost," Charis says, his lips pinched together.

Soohyun puts an arm around Miyong's shoulder, and Kiki and Xiao Yu look at each other.

None of them are happy. The bright, shining stars on their clothes seem to mock them.

Compared to the day before, when the young idols had left the arena full of high spirits, today, the mood is much more somber as they filter out. Everyone is quiet, and the silent throng filters out of the great double doors that separate the otherworldly stadium of night with the atrium that leads to the dorms, practice rooms, and conference areas.

Lai Jinho is one of the only ones who pushes against the tide, like a lone salmon swimming upstream. The crowd of gathered idols exclaims as they're jostled, and Jinho is polite but determined.

"Sorry!" he says, making his way and apologizing in at least three different languages. "Sorry! Sumimasen, mianhabnida, sorry, sorry."

Somehow, with all of this clatter, he makes his way to the other side where Fairytale is.

"Not right now, kid. Why don't you turn back around and go back to your flock," Mouse says a little brusquely, spinning Jinho by the shoulder to point him back in the direction of B-Love.

"W-whoa!"

The sudden movement makes the already off-kilter Jinho feel dizzy.

"Wait, don't hurt him," Charis says. The noise caught his attention out of his vague stupor. He looks over to see a familiar young face that he recognizes. It's horrifically busy in here. Being fully present means being assaulted with the murmuring noise that rises to the crescendo of a dull roar; so many voices, the cloying scent of makeup baking under hot lights.

Charis pushes his way through the tight throng to get to the other side of his own unit.

"Jinho, what is it? Is something wrong?"

"Charis-hyung, can I talk to you?"

In the thick crush of bodies, they can't all get near each other. Kiki and Xiao Yu are cut off from the rest of them in a rough press. When Kiki tries to get closer, he's accidentally jostled away. He gives a cry, and Xiao Yu's head turns, sharp and hawklike in his direction.

"Hey!" he says, and goes to rescue Kiki.

Soohyun is the closest to Charis, and the only one who can clearly hear what Jinho is saying. He meets Charis' eyes and gives a slight nod. Go ahead, he mouths, and Charis nods sharply before turning his attention back to Jinho.

It's too loud in here, and it's starting to give Charis the beginnings of a headache. He answers by grabbing onto Jinho's shoulder and pulling him close. Charis is a little taller and despite his gentle nature, he's much better at forcing his way through the crowd. He steers Jinho in front of him, protecting him from the worst of the press with one of his arms.

They can finally breathe again once they make it through the double doors and into the wider atrium area. Jinho lets out a heavy sigh as Charis leads him toward a more deserted spot. The atrium is bright and white, seeming even more shockingly light and clean after the artificial darkness of the stadium, and Jinho's eyes sting a bit as they adjust.

Charis walks until he finds what he's looking for—a place where they can sit and talk. He finds a little area to rest by a seemingly unused stairwell.

He seems like he knows where he's going, his confidence both addicting and convincing, but of course, he doesn't know this place any better than Jinho. Still, he sees it as his responsibility to guide and take care of the boys who are younger than him. He motions for Jinho to sit down first, and Jinho does, on the white stone bench that seems made for such a purpose—for resting if one suddenly finds themselves tired from climbing down stairs, which seems like a funny notion. There's a potted plant beside it, its leafy green fronds showing streaks of yellow and light green.

Charis sits gingerly beside him.

Jinho has gotten much taller since Charis remembers him from the dorms. It was harder to see when they were kept apart by distance. He's grown up handsome and looks like a young man now.

"What is it?" Jinho asks with an apprehensive look on his face.

"You grew," Charis says simply.

Jinho laughs, breaking the ice between them. "It's good to see you. I'm sorry we couldn't talk more the other day."

Charis shakes his head. "You were busy. We were busy, too."

"You looked so good out there, Kyong-hyung. Ah… sorry, Charis-hyung. It just slipped out. I'm still not really used to thinking of you that way."

Charis nudges his shoulder a little bit. "You can still call me by my real name if you want to. It's not like I became a different person."

Jinho shakes his head. "No, I mean… you really haven't. But it's so crazy to see you on the TV, you know? And in all those posters. You look so scary."

Charis laughs. "And am I? Scary?"

Jinho grins and laughs along with him. "Not in person."

"You know, you're famous now, too. I saw you on the broadcast music show for your first comeback."

"Oh! …you did?" Jinho looks at him shyly.

"Mmhm. You did well."

"I guess…" Jinho says. He looks down, but there's a happy smile on his face that won't go away, no matter what he does.

The smile slips off his face again before too long, and Charis grows serious, too.

"I'm sorry you didn't rank well. What happened during the exhibition?"

It stings a little that Kyong-hyung noticed it. That he doesn't just beat around the bush and congratulate Jinho, tell him that he did well; but it only hurts like lancing a blister. Painful for a moment, and then relief. He does like that Charis doesn't lie to him, and he doesn't bullshit him in return.

Jinho plays absently with his earring, a nervous habit. "I don't know. I wasn't feeling well, I guess."

Charis senses that there's more and waits for it. The stairwell is quiet. The echoing voices and footsteps from the other idols seem far away, giving Jinho space to breathe.

He forgot how easy it was to talk to Kyong-hyung. He never pushed like a lot of the other boys, even when he could see that Jinho was obviously upset. He always waited for Jinho and the other boys to come to him, to open up, if they wanted to. It means that Jinho usually did end up sharing more often than not.

They'd only known each other for about 8 months, not even a year, but Jinho feels like they'd gotten close in that time.

"It's about First Love. The guys in the group."

"Oh?"

Charis is surprised, but he doesn't really let it show. He just waits for it.

Jinho purses his lips, not really sure how to go on.

"Did you ever think I was… different, in training?" he settles on finally. "From the other guys, I mean."

"Different how?"

"Just. Anything you might have noticed. I don't want to come out and say it, so just think hard. Please, Kyong-hyung."

Charis is a little taken aback by the request and Jinho's sudden intensity, but there's no harm in it, and he is still very fond of Jinho, so he tries his best to oblige. He thinks back, as instructed. He isn't sure if this is Jinho's way of trying to come out to him, but dutifully, he doesn't jump to any conclusions and tries to do as Jinho asked.

Charis is struck for a moment, by how strange and unlikely it is that this person trusts him so much. Jinho isn't a child anymore but has grown into a handsome young man. Charis is almost a little envious. While Charis has kept the smooth, sleek prettiness that followed him out of childhood and turned into an elegant and beautiful adult, Jinho looks more like a young man ought to—healthy and a little rugged.

He thinks back to their time in the dorms, and there's really nothing out of the ordinary. Charis kept to himself a lot of the time, but some of the younger boys would come to him for advice or to be soothed after one of the dance instructors or vocal instructors hurt their feelings. He always felt like he was a poor choice for that—that they'd be much better served by going elsewhere, to someone else—but he worried that they didn't have anyone, that that's why they turned to him, so of course he never tried to turn any of them away.

Jinho was a good student. He went to his classes during the day and came back to train hard at night. Despite slacking off occasionally, the way they all did when they were at their limit and needed to sneak away to the bathroom to sleep or eat something before they fell over, he was a hard worker. He wasn't a troublemaker, and he seemed to make friends easily. Charis doesn't remember Jinho ever getting in trouble with other trainees.

"Huh," Charis says as something occurs to him. But he clears the thought away immediately, dropping it in favor of scouring his memories for something more substantial.

But Jinho, with his current and sudden intensity, doesn't miss this moment. He latches onto it as surely as a bird dog.

"No— what is it? You thought of something. Tell me."

"It's nothing," Charis says. "Really, it's silly."

The expression Jinho makes prompts him to keep going, and Charis sighs.

"It's just—back when we were in the dorms, I remember you were lucky a lot of the time. If we had to pull straws for performance order, you were usually at the end—unless you wanted to go first, then you'd be at the front. I remember once the cafeteria found one last sweet cake just as you went through the line, even after they said they were out." He shakes his head. "It's silly. Just little things like that, but you told me to think of anything."

Charis pillows his head on his hand and tilts his chin to look at Jinho. His hair is secured back in an elegant French braid that happens to match Mouse's, and even though Jinho is just his friend and sees Charis as an older brother, he's still forced to suck in a sharp breath at how beautiful Charis is.

Truly, the grass is always greener. Charis might be envious of Jinho's rugged charm, but Jinho thinks he looks terribly plain; he's got the kind of good looks that are a dime a dozen—throw him away and there are at least ten others waiting behind him with just the same style—but something about Charis has always seemed otherworldly. He looked perfect up there on that star stage, as if it was meant to be.

Jinho laughs, and puts his head down to avoid meeting Charis' eyes, rubbing absently at the back of his neck. It's a laugh filled with self-loathing, bitter, but not at Charis. "You're really smart, you know that, Kyong-hyung? No one gives you enough credit for it."

"Hm? Tell me, what is it?"

"It's not luck, it's— give me your brooch for just a second?"

The request is strange, but Charis doesn't hesitate before reaching down and unhooking the shining pin from the outside of his jacket. As he does, Jinho glances casually sidelong down the hall. The sounds from the main atrium have died down a little bit. You can still hear the echoing squeak of booted footfalls in the open space, but no one has come down their hallway yet.

He's finished doing his check by the time Charis puts his sparkling, jeweled brooch in Jinho's hand.

"Watch," Jinho murmurs.

Charis does, curiously.

It comes much easier to Jinho than it used to, even though manipulating actual matter is much harder for him than messing around with probabilities. He's never wondered why that is, although for most witches he knows it's the other way around. It must be some talent latent in his bloodline.

With just a little bit of focus, Jinho puts his energy into the brooch and makes it shine different colors. Its natural luminance blossoms and glows as he puts it through its paces. Charis startles, turning the brooch over to see if there's some battery pack or lightswitch that he missed.

Jinho, not one to leave it up to chance and not wanting to argue with Kyong-hyung's understandable skepticism, concentrates a little harder. He can't make the brooch actually change its shape, but with some hard work, he can make an illusion. For a second, it really looks like the multi-pointed star turns into a crane and flaps its wings, ready to take flight.

Jinho can only hold it for a second. Charis gasps and reaches out to touch one of the proud and regal crane's outstretched wings, but just as his fingertip makes contact with the edge of the illusion, Jinho can't hold it anymore and lets it go.

He gasps for breath, drawing Charis' attention back to him instead. He feels a trickle of something wet down one side of his upper lip and wipes it hurriedly with the back of his hand. He licks the residue from his lip with a delicate tongue and looks down to see a smear of ruddy red along the back side of his hand.

"Not luck," Jinho repeats again quickly. He's a dancer. He can recover quickly from being winded, and he draws himself up. "Magic. So keep that in mind when I tell you what I want to tell you."

It's especially surprising to see Jinho in this new light. Charis remembers him as the boisterous boy from the dorms. He was behind Charis in most things, but that wasn't very strange. Charis had been training for several years more than he had. It's strange to think that he was sitting on this talent all this time.

"So the guys from First Love… remember that I can do this when I tell you that they aren't… normal."

"They're like you?"

Jinho shakes his head. "No. Not exactly. They're…" Jinho bites his lip. "Do you know the story about Seonnyeo and Namukkun?"

Charis pins his brooch back to his chest and folds his arms. "The fairy and the woodcutter? Sure. Is there any Korean who doesn't?"

"The guys from First Love are like Seonnyeo in the story. Fairies, like her. Yojeong."

Charis frowns. "But that's just a story."

He flexes his fingers, thinking he can still feel a tingle in the tip of the finger that touched that shimmering bird's wing. He thinks of the strange magic Jinho had shown him, of Jinho's luck.

"No. It's really not."

"So say I believe you. Why are you telling me this? Are you telling me they fixed the competition?"

"No. Or more like… I don't know. I just get a funny feeling when they're around, like the hair stands up on the back of my neck." He holds out his arm and shows it to Charis, who can see that the light brown hair on the back of Jinho's arm is indeed standing up.

Jinho rubs the back of his neck, ruffling his hand through the close-cropped hair there.

"I just don't like it. Something feels weird. I don't know." He wraps his arms around himself, rubbing the goosebumps away although it's heated in the hallway. He finds himself unconsciously copying Charis' posture and then thinks it's funny when he realizes.

It feels so much like old times—just like. Like Jinho is running to his Kyong older brother again, wanting him to fix all his problems with his careful, methodical attitude. Kyong Lee was always so calm it seemed like nothing could flap him—not bad reviews or the threat of the monthly evaluations, not sickness or minor injuries or little brothers running up to him needing comfort and help.

"…are they all… yojeong? Like you said?"

Jinho looks surprised at the question. "No, actually. Most of them, but I think one of them is like me. A witch. The one with the light-colored eyes."

Charis digests this slowly.

"Thank you for telling me," he says at last.

He doesn't know what he's going to do with this information. He doesn't even know if he believes that it's true. He just knows that it definitely took a lot out of Jinho to tell it to him, and even if he doesn't understand why Jinho wanted to, it seems good to have more information about their competition and not less.

Jinho bites his lip. He feels a little apprehensive after spilling the secret he's kept all these years, but he also feels more free. Maybe it's that freedom that prompts him to be a little looser with his words than usual.

"…you know why we all trusted you in those days, don't you?"

Charis shakes his head. "I always wondered. I figured you just didn't have anyone you felt like you could talk to."

Jinho's eyes go wide and he tugs at Charis' arm suddenly before he can remember himself—that Charis is a big star now, and B-Love is on their way, too. For a second, they're just like two boys again. "Really?"

"Really," Charis says, nodding.

"You worked so hard—harder than anyone. We were all a little bit afraid of you." Jinho laughs. "But you never complained, and you were always really nice to us. You always had time for me. That's why we all trusted you."

"Huh." Charis blows out a breath. His leg is starting to hurt. "It doesn't feel deserved, but thank you."

Soon enough, they leave. They all have their own business to attend to. Annoyed-looking idols walk by them in the hall, shooting them curious glances. Jinho wishes invisibility was one of his skills.

They both stand up from the bench at the same time. Jinho's sharp eyes catch Charis' small wince—his legs have gotten stiff, although Charis manages to suppress his groan.

"Getting older?" Jinho asks in lighthearted jest.

"Something like that."

"Are we okay?" Jinho asks anxiously before they go their separate ways.

"Of course," Charis says. The way he sounds a little taken aback—as though the question itself has surprised him, does more than anything to put Jinho at ease. "Knock ‘em dead in the next round of the competition," Charis says. "Do your best."

A slow smile creeps over Jinho's face before it breaks out into an all-out grin. "B-Love is gonna give you guys a hard time. Fighting!" he says with a small fist pump.

"Fighting!" Charis replies.