16. Daily Living

SIXTEEN

Charis knowsand doesn't know about Mouse's illustrious history. He had done his digging on the group members of Fairytale before he'd been signed up to make his debut with them, of course. He knew all the basics. He'd known, in some way, that Mouse was a different kind of famous than the rest of them, but he hadn't really known what to make of it.

Charis wasn't really someone who spent a lot of time on the internet. He wasn't intensely plugged into social media, and while he loved idols—he loved watching them onstage and always wanted to be one of them—he had never joined a fandom.

Plus, he passed his audition and got recruited to his first company at 14. His first company was old school and didn't allow their trainees to have their phones during training periods, so it's not as though Charis had a lot of opportunity to dive deep into what was happening during the period when Mouse was active as a trainee.

It's actually something Mouse loves about Charis, though it mostly goes unvoiced, and Mouse isn't even aware enough of it to fully put it into thoughts.

He likes that Charis doesn't see him that way, that he's never been intimidated of Mouse the way so many of the other trainees always were. Even some of the other members—they're friendly to Mouse, and it's not like he doesn't feel like he's one of them. It's just that there's also a distance that Mouse can feel, that never really goes away. Soohyun is Soohyun and doesn't really act that way with him. He's unflappable in his own way, which Mouse also appreciates in his own way, but the others….

So it's nice that Charis is someone who will just lean on Mouse after practice. That he'll come and ask if he can curl up in Mouse's bed without thinking twice about it.

Because it's not only Mouse's talent and skills. It's also his personality that has a way of holding people at arm's length.

Mouse isn't mean, and he isn't unfriendly, but there's something typically sharky about him. That's the other part of his reputation from his trainee days. His sense of humor is sharp, and he doesn't have the typical ‘idol' personality. He and Xiao Yu have some of that in common, although they get along like oil and water.

Mouse isn't totally sure it has nothing to do with the whole Kiki thing.

"What's wrong, Pocky? Not feeling well?" Mouse asks.

Charis shakes his head, which is currently resting against the inside of Mouse's shoulder. "Just tired."

"Better rally," Xiao Yu says. "The competition looks tough."

Charis flaps a lazy hand in Xiao Yu's direction, and Mouse casually puts a hand up to shield his eyes from the light.

They're all in good spirits. Although it's true that the competition is tough, they're all of them idols for a reason. You have to be a certain kind of crazy to make it in this industry. You have to have a certain kind of grit and determination, the kind of personality that rises to challenges instead of buckling under in the face of them.

They can all feel it, the subtle, buzzing excitement practically crackling like unspent energy in the room as it rises all around them.

"The Gleam budget must be enormous," Soohyun mutters as they check out the dorms.

Unlike ordinary competition shows where they'd be going home at the end of the day—which Charis would have honestly preferred—the Gleam production team generously offered to put the competing idol groups up in a state-of-the-art facility.

"Whoa," Miyong says.

They're sharing rooms again. Each of the idol groups is staying in the same building, and so to save space, they've been directed to double up two to a room. There's no surveillance in the rooms, that they know of, although they've each been asked to film a short vlog at the end of each day of filming so the audience can get to know their thoughts and feelings as they progress through the competition.

"I like doing vlogs, so we'll just have to stay to the end," Xiao Yu declares.

The others laugh.

"Yeah, Yu-hyung, we'll be sure to do extra well so you can record your vlogs," Miyong vows earnestly with traces of laughter in his voice.

Their lighthearted spirit has prevailed.

Their room assignments had been decided based on who the audience is most likely to want to see vlogging together, which means it had been arranged in advance by their own company, who knows their fan base better than the contest show production team. Kiki and Xiao Yu are together, which is no surprise. What is a bit surprising is that they'd chosen to have Charis room with Mouse.

They were still in the green room when they heard the announcement, and Charis raised his head as soon as he heard the room assignments, startled up from where he'd been doing his nails.

"I'm not paired up with Soohyun?"

"No. Is that a problem?" Park Nabom asks. Hwa Chungae hadn't been able to accompany him, and Park Nabom had come in his place.

It's not at all a problem. Mr. Nabom is fine, but they're not as familiar with each other as the Fairytale boys are with Chungae-ssi, and in moments like this, it shows.

"No," Charis says. "I'm just surprised, is all."

Nabom nods. "You and Mouse have been trending in searches and fanboards lately. Plus, leader-maknae content always does well."

When in doubt, Nabom often defaults to explaining things.

Charis nods, his expression thoughtful.

Soohyun, who's rooming with Miyong, gives the younger boy a reassuring smile.

Even though Soohyun is as nice about it as can possibly be, a crestfallen expression still flits across Miyong's face before he can suppress it—after all, he's an idol, too.

"Sounds good," Miyong says with determination.

Kim Joon is in a room by himself, since the production team had decided it made more sense to give out an extra room than have the boys try to cram in together.

"Guess I'll be getting the best night's sleep," Joon says mildly, and it breaks the mild tension.

"Does it feel like old times?" Mouse asks Charis when they get into their rooms.

"Hm? Not really. Didn't we have Miyong with us then?"

The room they end up in is comfortable but sterile. There are two full-size beds stacked side by side with enough space in the middle for two thin idols to walk. There's an overhead light that makes the white walls seem stark. Their room is located on the interior of the building, so there are no windows.

Charis looks around and doesn't see anywhere to set his things. There's a chest of drawers that looks like it's made of mass-produced laminate wood, but he doesn't feel like unpacking. He drops his bag on the mattress on the far side of the room and follows it down, sitting heavily.

His legs hurt. There's a dull, pounding ache that had been growing throughout the afternoon. Charis has become good at ignoring the pain and pushing through it by necessity, but now that they're alone, it's impossible not to notice it. His face pinches a little at the sensation, and he starts rubbing his leg absently.

Mouse tosses his own duffel on the floor and collapses face-down onto his bed. He sighs into the mattress, feeling the sensation of earned exhaustion dragging him down. He reaches up and pulls off the tie fastening his hair and turns his face to the side to look at Pocky.

From here, he can see the strong, thin line of Pocky's back. The shimmery fabric of their team's tracksuits sways lightly as his arm moves.

"Want me to get that for you?" Mouse asks sleepily.

It's early for them—only 7 p.m., but they're all exhausted. Their internal clocks are already partially fucked anyway. It had been dark like a kind of artificial night in the arena anyway, and they'd gone from there to the green room to this interior dorm connected by a set of hotel-bland hallways. They've been inside all day.

Charis shakes his head. "Rest if you're tired. I can manage."

Mouse makes a tired sound, a dull off-tune hum that Charis finds soothing on a bone-deep level. "Mkay, wake me if you need something."

"You have to take off your makeup before you go to sleep."

"Don't wanna," Mouse grumbles, but they both know he will.

Mouse stays down for a while longer, rallying his strength before he finally manages to heave himself up and stumble off in the direction of the bathroom. By the time he gets back, Charis has finished stretching out his legs, and he's already underneath the covers. The overhead lights have been switched off, and the only light comes from the open bathroom door that trails steam from Mouse's shower, and the bright shining light coming from the room's one small, lone nightstand— it's Charis' phone, that he'd left on for Mouse to see by.

By its light, Mouse can just barely make out Charis' face in the dimness. His skin is also bare and clean, and Mouse can see a few crumpled makeup wipes in the small trash bin.

He must've been so tired.

Seeing Charis' makeshift nightlight left out for Mouse makes something in his chest twinge, but there's one more thing he has to do.

"My roommate is sleeping," Mouse says into the handheld recording camera in a soft voice. "We're not gonna wake him. Say hi, Charis," Mouse says, tilting the camera toward Charis' peacefully sleeping face for just a second.

Once he's caught Charis on film, he walks back toward the bathroom where there's better light.

He runs a hand through his hair. It's soft and fluffy after being blow-dried, and it slips end over end like silk, falling to frame his bare face. Even without makeup, his skin is enviably good.

"We had a really good first day at Gleam today, and we're looking forward to showing you all exciting stages. I'm absolutely beat, so I'm going to end this before I knock out on camera, too. Then you're going to end up with two sleeping Princes, and aren't you guys supposed to be the sleeping beauties?"

Mouse gives a tired, flirtatious smile.

"Anyway, that's all for the first PockyMouse vlog. Catch up with you guys tomorrow. Bye."

He says the last word as softly as any lover wishing their beloved goodnight. He holds up a peace sign for the camera and then covers the lens with his palm to sign off.

When he's done, he switches off the camera, turns off the flashlight on Pocky's phone, and gets some sleep.