11. Miyong

ELEVEN

Kim Joon might bethe second person to find out about it. Miyong flags him down as soon as he gets back to the dorm.

"Hyung,"Miyong says, sotto voce. "Hyung!"

The way he whisper-shouts is honestly so loud.

"I think it might be softer if you just talked normally," Kim Joon says as he pulls his earbuds out of his ears one after the other. He pulls the case out of his pocket and carefully puts them away. They're designer, and he's careful to take care of them.

Miyong holds himself back, vibrating like a puppy, until Kim Joon is finished squaring himself away. He's still dressed in his clothes from outside. Miyong had basically waited by the door, at the top of the stairs, in order to accost him as soon as Kim Joon got back from his snack run outside.

"Hyung," Miyong says, snapping like a rubber band as soon as Kim Joon's hands and ears are free. "Joonie-hyung, the other hyungs—Mouse-hyung and Charis-hyung?—"

His words get backed up in his mouth when he gets so excitable like this. He makes a frustrated noise as they try to come out of his mouth but all at once, which means that in practice, Miyong doesn't manage to say much of anything at all. It comes out as frustrated gibberish instead. Sometimes people laugh at him for it.

"Try it again," Kim Joon says, perfectly patient even though he was just doing something else. He'd really enjoyed the music he was listening to, and he was still half in it. The walk had done a lot to clear his head. But he doesn't rush Miyong, nor does he laugh at him. "Slower."

Miyong takes a deep breath that completely inflates his lungs, taking the moment to rein himself in and put all his thoughts together in order, the way he and Joonie-hyung have talked about.

"Mouse-hyung and Charis-hyung were…" He trails off and half chokes himself on his words again, though this time not from speed but from embarrassment. "Being. Intimate," he finally settles on, although even saying that much makes his face blush nearly as pink as his hair.

"I see," Kim Joon says. He blinks a few times, the tips of his straight lashes brushing his cheeks. He remembers the plastic bag slung over his arm. "Do you want some ramyeon?"

Miyong blinks, physically rearing back a little as his brain struggles to change gears, switching to a new track quickly. "What flavor have you got?"

Kim Joon hefts the bag. "Spicy chicken and lime beef."

"Lime, please!" Miyong says.

Kim Joon nods. "Let me just put my stuff in my room. Give me a second."

Miyong nods. He finds Kim Joon in their empty kitchen. It's pretty late, but Joonie doesn't give him a hard time about still being awake. He drifts to the open doorway, hanging around the entrance. Joonie waves him over, and Miyong drifts closer.

Joonie hums under his breath while he works. He's stripped off his jacket, leaving his arms lean and white beneath the loose sleeves of his t-shirt. Miyong thinks he's so graceful. It's a sight to see Joonie-hyung when he's dancing, but even when he's not, it always kind of looks like he is. Joonie will be the first one to tell Miyong not to rate him too highly, but Miyong still thinks that Joonie-hyung is the best dancer in the world.

The electric kettle has already boiled, so Joonie pours hot water into each of the plastic bowls. The kettle is some pastel purple thing that Charis had picked up somewhere. Some of the others complain about how twee it is, but Kim Joon doesn't really mind it.

"Wanna go eat in my room?" he asks.

Miyong nods and picks up his ramyeon. By the time Kim Joon closes the door behind them and they settle on the bed, their food is already ready to eat. Kim Joon peels the top off his bowl and sticks it in the trash can, holding out his hand for Miyong to pass him his trash too.

Miyong suddenly sits up, and Kim Joon gives him a quizzical look.

"Your bed… I don't want to spill something on it."

"You won't. And if you do, I'll just wash it. Sit down."

Miyong doesn't need much more coaxing than that. They don't talk at first. They silently eat their food. Kim Joon lightly blows on the bite of noodles trailing from his chopsticks before putting it in his mouth. Watching him, Miyong is subconsciously influenced to slow down a little himself, rather than wolfing the food down and consequently burning himself.

Together, they eat more than half their food before Miyong starts talking.

"The other hyungs… is it okay?"

"Hmm." Kim Joon isn't in a hurry to speak. He clears his mouth and thinks it over, taking a drink from his sports bottle before talking. "You know how Mouse-hyung is," he says after a little while. "He hooked up with Kiki before, too. Remember that?"

"Mm."

Miyong picks at the food left in his bowl, less interested in eating it now that he's filled his belly for a while. He pinches at one of the scallions floating by, poking at the noodles. "Will he hurt Charis-hyung?"

"I think Mouse would honestly rather die before he hurt Charis-hyung," Kim Joon says with no hesitation.

Miyong nods, already feeling a bit better.

He slumps to one side, leaning against Kim Joon, who takes his weight easily. Some other people find Kim Joon hard to talk to or feel like he's boring, but Miyong has never felt that way. Whenever he leans against Kim Joon-hyung like this, it always feels like he's sucking up strength from him. It's the same way Miyong sometimes feels when he leans against really old, big, grand trees, but in a nice way.

Joonie-hyung isn't very big, but he feels very solid to Miyong. Plus, he actually has a lot of muscle under his clothes from all that dancing. He's soft and sturdy in all the right places, and he doesn't mind when Miyong leans all over him. Miyong finds the steady inhale and exhale of his breath to be very soothing.

Kim Joon shifts his body minutely so Miyong can lean against him and he can keep eating. He hooks an arm around Miyong's slender body so he can bring his chopsticks to his mouth and finish his late-night snack.

When he's done, he shifts over to the side so he can stick the empty bowl on his bedside table.

"Are you still hungry?" he asks Miyong.

Miyong shakes his head. All Kim Joon can see from his vantage point is the top of Miyong's mop of hair and the curve of his clear profile.

He probably talks to Miyong more than he talks to most people, but people probably overestimate just how much. He likes how comfortable Miyong is with his silences. They have a very comfortable understanding where they can just sit with each other for long stretches of time. Ironically, Kim Joon probably sees Miyong at his most serious. They're privy to the more hidden sides of each other, and it never feels like any kind of big deal.

"Don't worry," Kim Joon says after a little while. "I think everything will be fine."

Technically, he's part of the hyung line as much as he's part of the maknae line. Kim Joon, the middle child of Fairytale. He doesn't really mind. Most days, he doesn't really feel like anything, not like one or the other. He doesn't mind being a hyung for Miyong, though. It's important that Miyong has someone steady to rely on. That's never been a burden.

Miyong sniffs and nods his head. The small sound prompts Kim Joon to crane his neck so he can see his face, just to make sure Miyong isn't crying, but closer inspection reveals that his face is clear.

Kim Joon settles again, satisfied. He finds a comfortable way to sit with his back supported against the wall and a pillow propped near his side. It's a way that won't give him cramps in any of his muscles and won't see any of them sore at their next dance practice.

"Comeback is coming up soon," Kim Joon says out of nowhere, and Miyong nods again.

"Yeah. I'm excited. Are you excited, Joonie?"

"Yeah."

The light scent of kimchi and spicy broth filters through the clean room. It could be gross, but instead, it's kind of comforting. Kim Joon feels his body winding down. The walk helped to clear his head. Soon he'll be ready for sleep.

"Sorry," Miyong says all of a sudden. "Sorry for bothering you with this." He looks down at the bedspread, suddenly feeling bashful.

"You never bother me," Kim Joon says lightly. "Come to me with whatever. I never mind."

And Joonie-hyung said it, so Miyong knows it's the truth.