Chapter 2

“A gain!” Queen Liliana shouted.

Another week had passed since the black well incident and we’d thrown all of our efforts into my training. A bead of sweat rolled down my neck, soaking into the collar of the cotton shirt I wore under the tight leather battle corset. I wasn’t even welding a physical weapon, but that didn’t mean that my tutors were not armed.

The training today had been grueling. Queen Liliana had forced me over and over again to use my powers and unarm my opponents, sometimes facing me off against two or three adversaries at a time.

I was sure I was littered with bruises from the number of hits I’d taken this afternoon. Had the swordsmen been using real weapons during this training session and not blunted ones, I’d have had several serious, if not life-threatening, injuries. But as important as I knew this training was, I struggled to keep my mind on the task at hand.

How could I when the curse threatened to take over our lands?

With only a week left before the fall equinox, the effects of the curse had already started to appear. More and more of our water sources had been polluted by black water. The land had stopped regenerating in places, so when the leaves fell off the trees or crops were picked, rather than magically replenishing, the vegetation withered and died. And there were reports from our western border of wildfires being caused by raining embers.

Every day more and more Fall fae arrived at the palace, seeking refuge. Tired, scared, and sometimes injured, they looked to my parents and me for answers and assurances we didn’t have and couldn’t give.

We were already overextended because of the refugees from the Summer Court. Even before the Fall fae had started to arrive, tents ringed the palace and the surrounding areas. Our physicians had been working almost around the clock to help the Summer fae injured by the curse. Our food stores were practically depleted. And now my own people were begging for help and we had nothing left to give. How had we come to this?

“Master Tor. You and your apprentice come at Princess Aribella from opposite sides,” Queen Liliana said, snapping me out of my wandering thoughts for the millionth time this afternoon.

When I glanced over at her it was obvious by the pinched look on her face that Queen Liliana knew I was distracted, and didn’t approve. I’m sure she understood the stress I was under, but as a ruler herself, she expected me to be able to compartmentalize, just like she did.

And if I’d learned anything about Queen Liliana over the last several weeks, it was that she never left room for failure.

It wasn’t that Queen Liliana was cruel, per se, but no part of her was soft. I could only imagine what it was like for Princess Dawn to have grown up with a mother who was so single-mindedly focused.

I didn’t believe Dawn had been unloved. Whenever she was brought up, a flash of true sorrow darkened Queen Liliana’s eyes. She loved her daughter, that much was clear. But still, the pressure the Summer princess must have lived with day in and day out had to have been intense, and so my heart went out to the fallen Summer champion.

“Aribella, be ready this time. You’re waiting too long to take down your first opponent, giving your other attacker the opportunity to overwhelm you. You need to be fast and decisive. Don’t give your enemy the time to reach you. Bring them to their knees before they know what has hit them.”

I nodded and kept my mouth shut against the excuses that wanted to spring free. It wasn’t as easy as she was making it sound. Using my powers on multiple people simultaneously was taxing and left me physically exhausted. Which was dangerous for my condition. But she didn’t know that.

My magic was rooted in the Fall Court, specifically the changeability of our season. Our weather could one day be as balmy as a summer night, and the next a dusting of snow would coat the early morning grass. In some ways our season was volatile, but I embraced and loved the unpredictability of our court. Unlike the Summer and Winter Courts, where every day was pretty much the same, the Fall Court went through transitions. There was nothing stagnant about the Fall Court, and that made life exciting.

My magic was similar in nature, but rather than shifting weather patterns I could shift emotions and feelings. With a push of my magic I could calm a rage-filled fae, or settle an anxious heart. But on the flip side, I could also fill a fae up with so much hopelessness and despair that they couldn’t function beyond falling to their knees and wailing.

Although I would never do that. I loved my people and only used my powers to protect and nurture, never to harm. In truth I’d never explored the limits of my magic, and had no desire to do so, but that was exactly what Queen Liliana was demanding of me.

My power was like a muscle I hardly ever used. In many ways it was weak and atrophied. It would take time to grow in magical strength. Time I didn’t have. But I’d seen improvement over the last several days that we’d focused on using my magic as a weapon.

We’d been at this for hours already today though, so I wasn’t sure how much more I could take before my body gave out on me. But even so, I dug into a wellspring of strength inside me I hadn’t known existed until recently, and lashed out as soon as the pair attacked.

First I pushed hopelessness onto Drake, Master’s Tor’s apprentice. He was a young man, brown-haired and only a few years older than me, but he had the stamina of a work horse. Even after hours of sparring, he hardly looked winded. The moment my magic pushed into him, he faltered, his blunted sword dropping from his hand immediately.

Satisfaction filled me, but rather than revel in my success I pressed a wave of grief toward Master Tor. I hoped to overwhelm him as I had Drake, but even though tears started to drip from the aged fae’s eyes, he didn’t lose his grip on his sword or halt his attack. Instead he came at me with weapon raised and I was forced to drop to the ground and roll out of the way to avoid his blow.

I felt the swish of the blunted practice sword as it narrowly missed my head.

Mustering my last bits of energy, I pushed more sadness into Master Tor as I popped to my feet and backpedaled, but my repeated assaults that day must have damped their effects because he didn’t let up. Not even through his tears and the obvious sorrow I hammered him with.

He took another swing at me and I dodged out of the way.

Panicked from not being able to stop his attack, I pressed anger on the master, which was a fatal mistake.

Anger only fueled his violence and he came at me so fast the tip of his weapon slid across my leather corset as I twisted away. Had the material been anything other than hardened leather, I had no doubt, blunted blade or not, it would have left a mark on my flesh.

I was shaken, and I tried to pull back the anger I’d set upon him and pour more of the sadness, but his attacks were coming too quickly for me to focus on my powers.

Beyond exhausted, what little energy I had left went toward dodging and weaving his blade. He wasn’t softening any of his strikes, which meant that if one of his attacks landed, I’d be seriously injured.

“Stop,” I yelled, throwing my hand up to signal an end to the sparring session, but filled with enraged grief, the sword master wouldn’t back down.

This was the downside of my magic. I had to be careful what I filled people with because their reaction to specific emotions could be unpredictable. I could change how they felt, but I couldn’t control what they did with those feelings.

Sometimes, like now, it backfired on me.

Shouts rang out around us and I had a vague notion that other fae were running toward us, but my attention was acutely focused on the man now trying to take off my head.

I’d never been so glad for practice swords in all my life.

“Stand down, Tor!” Queen Liliana screamed, but it was no use.

I dipped low to avoid another one of his slashes, but when I looked up, the blade was arching back toward my head on his downswing. It may have been blunted and therefore incapable of taking off my head, but it still could break my neck from the force of the impact.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to twist away fast enough, so in desperation I did something I never had before and flung out my power with no planned emotion, just a wild burst of raw magic with zero direction.

The magic left me in a rush and shot out in all directions. I didn’t even have the time to aim at Master Tor. Instead, the burst hit every single fae in the room, draining me immediately.

My heart hammered in my chest, quivering against my breastbone.

Weakness pulled at my limbs as my legs shook and I dropped to the ground in a heap, completely depleted. Master Tor’s sword clattered to the floor next to me and I breathed a sigh of relief, yet I didn’t have enough energy to look and see where he was.

All around me wails of misery rose into the air, and I realized with growing horror what I’d done. I’d pushed a feeling of debilitating despair into all the fae in the room.

Yes, it had stopped Master Tor’s attack, but if I didn’t pull back my magic, the fae around me might fall into despondency and hurt themselves.

I tried to push myself to a sitting position, but it was useless. My arms felt so weak they shook with the effort.

My heart pounded like a war drum as sweat dripped down my brow. My muscles were as weak as a newborn’s, and my vision blinked in and out as flashes of blackness began to take over.

Lying on the ground I gathered what little reserves I had and slowly pulled my power back into myself.

I wasn’t going to be able to hold onto consciousness for much longer, that much was a certainty. My heart was frantically quivering in my chest. But just before everything went black, I sucked the last drop of despair from the fae I’d unknowingly attacked. Then I was taken into darkness.

* * *

When I opened my eyes my mother stood over me, wringing her hands. I wasn’t in the training gym anymore, instead I was lying in my own bed with no memory of how I got there. The concerned look in my mother’s eyes told me everything I needed to know.

I’d had another episode. And it was bad.

Twice within one week. I wasn’t getting better, like I thought. If anything I was getting worse.

“How long have I been out?” I asked, which was usually the first question out of my mouth whenever I came around after a fainting spell.

A pleat appeared between my mother’s brows. “Eighteen hours. Falana took care of you and when she saw you stirring she called for me.”

I sat up so quickly I got a little dizzy again, but I ignored it.

“Eighteen hours?” I gasped. I’d never been out for so long before.

Throwing off my bedsheets, I slid out of bed. I’d been changed into nightclothes while I was unconscious. I might have been embarrassed by that, but it wouldn’t have been the first time my maids had had to do the task.

Going to my armoire I threw it open and started searching for clothes. I’d been training with Master Tor and Queen Liliana in the late afternoon, so if eighteen hours had passed since then it was already well into the next day. I only had days before the portal would open and I was to leave for Ethereum. I couldn’t afford to lose any more training time than I already had.

“Dear, what are you doing?” my mother asked as she watched me flit around the room, looking for shoes to go with the pants I already had clenched in my arms. “You should get back in bed. You need all the rest you can get.”

“Rest?” I let out a humorless laugh. “There’s no time for rest, I have to get back to Queen—”

“She left,” my mother said, cutting me off.

I froze, turning my head to look at her. My mother was chewing her bottom lip. That was never a good sign. She thought it was a horrible habit unbecoming of royalty and only did it when she was exceptionally anxious.

“Left? Left where?” I asked.

She sighed and pity filled her gaze. “When she saw what happened, your father and I were forced to explain your condition.”

No. Not that.

“Mother, you didn’t.”

Whenever someone found out about my weak heart, I was always treated differently after. We’d managed to keep my ailment secret most of my life. Only my parents, the royal physician and a few trusted members of our staff knew. We never wanted our people to think that they would someday be led by an invalid.

Up until now my people didn’t need a warrior, they needed a leader. I was strong in mind and spirit, just not so much in body. That’s really what counted, that I would be a good leader like my father. But I knew with nauseating clarity that Queen Liliana wouldn’t see it that way, which was why I wasn’t surprised by my mother’s next words.

“She’s left along with the tutors and trainers. They’ve gone to the Winter Court to prepare the next princess.”

Even though I wasn’t shocked, the words were still a knife to my chest.

Queen Liliana didn’t think I could do this, so she’d already moved on to Princess Isolde, training her to be the champion she didn’t believe I could be.

I stood frozen, soaking it all in and trying not to cry, trying to stay strong and find the confidence in myself that no one else seemed to have in me.

“Maybe this is for the best,” my mother started as she stepped closer to me. “I never wanted you to go to Ethereum. You’re many wonderful things, Aribella, but not an assassin. Your place is here, safe in the palace with your father and me. Let the next princess travel to—”

“Mother, this isn’t something I have a choice in,” I snapped.

Dropping the clothes I had collected I pointed out toward the window. Even now I could see two groups of Fall fae making their way toward the palace. They were too far away to make out details, but I imagine they’d arrive looking like the others had. Threadbare clothes dripping with black oily water, carrying only the meager belongings they were able to save.

Frightened. Hungry. Looking to us to help them.

“The curse isn’t coming anymore, it’s here,” I said to my mother. “Fall fae from all over our court are beginning to suffer. The portal won’t open in the Winter Court until the winter solstice over three months from now. Our court won’t be able to hold on that long. Look at what happened to the Summer Court. If I don’t go to Ethereum when our portal opens and bring back that heart, our whole court will fall. I can’t let that happen. I won’t. My people, our people need me, and I don’t intend to let them down.”

She pressed her lips together, but her bottom lip started to tremble and her eyes filled with tears.

“I can’t do it,” she started to wail. “I can’t let my only daughter go and sacrifice herself. Let the whole of Faerie suffer, I don’t care.” Falling into me, she started to sob.

Part of me softened toward her. I was fortunate to have a mother who loved me so much she’d be willing to do anything, to sacrifice anything, to keep me safe. But the other part of me resented her. She was always so worried about me hurting myself that she was often suffocating.

I understood that my mother didn’t have any real interest in ruling. She was happy to just decorate, take care of me, and throw parties. I never judged her for that, she always seemed to have weak nerves and ruling a kingdom was not something she seemed cut out for. But I was not my mother.

“Don’t say that, Mother,” I said, trying to soothe her. “I’m a born princess of Faerie, just like you were before me. Our duty first and foremost is to this court and Faerie. My life isn’t worth any more than any of our subjects’. You taught me that.”

My words just made her wail louder. The sound grated on me, but I forced myself to rub a hand on her back as she continued to cry into my shoulder.

“You’re not cut out for this, daughter.”

I tried not to bristle at that. I knew my mother didn’t mean to put me down. She was in a fragile place right now, terrified her fears since my birth were going to come true and that she would lose me. That one day I would never wake from one of my episodes or that I would die on this quest to bring back the black heart of an Ethereum lord.

And the truth be told, her fears weren’t unsubstantiated. What I was setting out to do was dangerous. The first champion had trained her whole life for this fight and still failed.

But I wasn’t going into this naively. I was acutely aware of my disadvantages, but I believed what I lacked in physical strength could be made up for in wit, intellect, and a heavy dose of my magical ability.

“It’s okay if you don’t believe in me, because I believe in myself,” I started gently to soften the bite of my next words. “But know this, Mother, in less than a week’s time I will go to Ethereum. And the moment I land in front of the black-hearted lord, I will carve that organ from his chest.” I growled the last part.

My mother stopped crying. Pulling back, she blinked up at me, seemingly stunned that I was holding my ground.

Had I been so accommodating throughout my life that standing on my own two feet surprised her? It made me sad to think that I’d spent so many years holding myself back. Trying to appease a mother who was more content to see me tucked away safely than facing life head-on.

But no more. It was time. I was going to spread my wings and jump. Whether I fell or flew would be up to me, but either way I was going to do this.

Faint hearted or not. For Faerie, and also for myself.

“I will get the black heart and bring it back to the Fall Court, or die trying. That is my vow, and nothing you, or anyone else in Faerie, say or do will stop me.”