Chapter 24

24

Istood with the rest of the students from the Elite Academy waiting for the buzzer to sound and launch Trial Two. We were gathered outside of the castle on the green space where the Summer Carnival had been set up. My legs were like stone and the rest of me just as hard. Nerves, I knew. But knowing didn’t make me feel any better.

A crowd had gathered on the vast green meadow at the edge of the forest to watch the proceedings, with who knew how many waiting at the base of the mountain at our final destination, to see exactly what we would do and how creative we got with our spells. Behind me were people from the palace, as well as school officials, members of the Elder Council, and friends and family cheering us on. Overhead there were orbs floating from the news networks. Real-time coverage for the many viewers who could not be here in person.

I wasn’t sure I had a handle on my magic. Not one bit. Glancing around at the rest of the students who’d made it through to round two, I knew I should be worried. They were much better than me. None of them looked like they were ready to bend over and spill their guts.

But I remembered what Juno had said during one of our first tutoring sessions: I had more power than I thought. I simply needed to find a way to release it. Maybe she was right, maybe not. Mike and I had briefly discussed our plans for today but not in any detail after I’d alienated him in the library.

Yeah, good going on that. Idiot.

Anxious energy skittered along my arms until my hair stood on end and I shook my hands to try and get rid of those nerves. This wasn’t any way to behave. The others expected me to be a failure. No need for me to act—

Two arms came around my neck and I screamed.

“Girl! It’s me. Calm yourself.”

Immediately I drew in a breath filled with Melia’s familiar scent. Eyes closed, I turned around and grabbed onto her, my head against her collarbone because of our height difference.

“I wanted to come out and support you today, tell you good luck,” she said into my hair. “I know you’ve got this. Just like I know you are probably freaking out and telling yourself you are going to trip over your own two feet.”

“I definitely don’t have this,” I replied quickly.

“Of course you do! Remember who taught you? Yes, I’m referring to myself and my absolutely fabulous mentoring skills, showing you the ropes when you had no one else. I know there are a few tricks up your sleeve that none of the other students have going for them. Not to mention you are quick and resourceful. You showed everyone in the mortal world what you were made of.” She scoffed. “This? This is nothing compared to what you’ve been through.”

“This could kill me.”

“So could Kendrick Grimaldi when he kidnapped you. Yet here you stand, stronger than ever. Have I told you how proud I am of you?”

She had, and it meant the world to me.

I could have held on to Melia forever. But she gently pushed back and our eyes met, my lips quivering a little. “I wish there were a spell to transfer your confidence into me,” I told her. “Because I am about to either freak out or puke. Maybe both at the same time.”

“Do you remember how nervous you were about the first culling? When you didn’t think you would make it through? And what about the lottery?” She held up her fingers for air quotes around the last word. “You thought you were going to panic then but you didn’t. What happened to you during the first Trial was nothing but sheer bad luck. It’s not going to happen again.”

“You’re right,” I said, more for her benefit than for my own.

Today the school had let us wear whatever we wanted, anything to make us more comfortable for the long trip to the base of the mountains. I’d forgone the usual school blazer and went with a trusty pair of yoga pants and a navy-blue long-sleeved t-shirt against the slight chill in the air. Typical clothing for shifting, although no one knew that.

I had my long hair done in a braid hanging along my spine, and I wore a worried expression. Which was the perfect accessory for today’s task.

“I just want this all to be over.”

Melia gave me a somewhat stern smile. She meant business. Gold sparked in her eyes and if I didn’t know her inside and out, I’d say she might have a little wolf in her blood, too. “And it will be, soon. I’m going to be waiting for you at the finish line with a drink and some chocolate. Know that whatever you choose to do will be the right thing because not a one of these spoiled, pampered buttholes has anything on you, Tavi. Got it?”

I nodded and gave her a tiny grin.

Melia finished what she considered to be the best pep talk in the history of pep talks before melting back into the crowd. I looked around for Bronwen but I didn’t see her.

Too late, it was show time.

I didn’t have time to worry. I didn’t have time to find Mike and tell him I was sorry before the buzzer sounded, the Trial began, and I had to go.

It’s time.

Closing my eyes, I shut out the rest of the world, focusing on the small ball of heat at the base of my spine where I always imagined I kept my magic stored. It helped to visualize it as an actual physical space. Especially considering how my inherent power was cognitive manipulation.

I willed the power to grow and change into a huge fire fueling the magic. With it, I called out the words to the spell set to animate one of the suits of armor from the castle. If this went well, I’d cross the finish line without accessing earth, air, fire, or water magic. If this went poorly—

Yup, dead.

Getting the rusty metal to move was one thing. Getting it to walk out of the castle and pick me up and carry me through miles of rough terrain was another thing entirely.

I didn’t want to focus on what the other students were doing. They were not my competition. I was. The only person I needed to beat today was myself.

The spell took hold and I waited precious seconds for my awareness to expand. Of course, if I’d been allowed to use my transfiguration, not only would I have made it to the finish line before everyone else, but I would have hands down won without breaking a sweat. Did anyone really think about how quickly a peregrine could fly? And it wouldn’t take any kind of magic tied to air or earth. Only to myself.

Yeah, transfiguration was a great idea if I wanted to expose myself and be thrown out of this land for the rest of my inhumanly long existence.

I held tightly to the connection to the magic, hearing the words in my head: Etanimae quaea venire mai. Etanimae quaea venire mai.

Please let this work, please let this work!

It was my own personal chant.

Mike and I had decided on the armor because it was lighter than a statue with better joints for walking. Praying I’d done enough to at least get the armor out here, I repeated the spell. Then I felt cold steel press against my back and I leaned into the contact. Allowing the armor to pick me up and carry me off the field. A blanket of cold air fell over us when we passed through the tree line, the wind biting deep.

I wanted to whoop in excitement despite the chill. The damn old thing was moving! And at a pretty decent speed, too. At this point, I either held onto the temperature spell keeping me comfortable or I could keep this connection alive, but I couldn’t do both, and I knew which one mattered.

Teeth chattering, I pushed my strength into holding the spell. Listening to the satisfying clink and clank of metal.

Mike had been right on the money to delve into those old books. The kind of old books people tried to ban because they contained powerful forgotten magic.

I purposely kept my eyes focused straight ahead. I didn’t want to see what the others were doing and risk breaking my focus or wondering if there was something I could have done better. The spell I used—Mike as well—was an archaic one and didn’t rely on any kind of elemental power to boost it. That would go against the rule of using the elements. No, the spell relied solely on the user’s life force and personal will.

Creative? Maybe not the most. Dangerous? Absolutely.

It was along the same lines of the first trial, in which one needed to know when to stop or else the magic might take their entire life force to sustain the spell. Except today, if I reached that point and I cut off the spell, I’d lose. I had to hope I could keep the armor going even over the roughest terrain without dropping me or becoming stuck or somehow disabled.

Touch the ground and I’d be out; that was the biggest rule.

I hated the rules. I hated the monsters who made up the rules.

The armor kept moving, kept pushing forward slowly. Its metal toe hit a rock and it stumbled, going down on both knees and I scrambled to hang on and not come in contact with the ground. I gripped the thing’s neck to keep from slipping.

Close, too close.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed with the late spring wind biting into my skin. There was no snow on the ground, thank goodness, but there were tripping hazards galore. It took everything inside of me to navigate the armor and make sure it didn’t run into a tree or break off a leg on a boulder or fallen log. We were alone in the woods.

And I felt my strength begin to dip.

I panicked at the first wavering. The first feeling of being out of control. The sound of rushing water became louder the farther we walked and I knew we’d soon hit the river, the same one winding through the village. How was I supposed to navigate the thing across a freakin’ river?

The armor slowed in response to my doubt and its arms began to lower. With a panicked yelp I clung on tighter. No, not now! Not when I still heard the faint roaring of the crowd near the palace. It might be my imagination but I knew we hadn’t gone far enough. Not nearly far enough.

My magic began to sputter and I dredged up every smidgen of energy and power within me until sheer exhaustion won out. The armor stopped at the edge of the river and the sound of rushing water filled my ears. I didn’t have any magical juice left to get across the water. I wasn’t going to make it. No way.

Emotion nearly overcame me and I let out a sound suspiciously like a sob. I’m not good enough.

Forget making it through the Elite Academy. That was only the here and now. The truth was I’d never been good enough. Always half this and half that, never fully one thing or the other. Divided. Weak. Not good enough. Raised as pack but having to keep my Fae nature hidden…what good did it do? All those times I’d followed the rules and did as I was told, all the people who had died around me, all the shit I’d been through. All of it was so I could get here to this point—and I didn’t have the mettle to make it through.

Raw fury exploded inside of me. I wanted to rip the armor apart piece by piece, imagining the king’s head in the empty helmet. I screamed out every bit of frustration and injustice until my energy level dropped dangerously low and I knew if I didn’t do something I would die. The spell would take the last bits of my power and use them up, leaving nothing left for me.

What did I have to lose anymore? I’d already had everything tossed at me without end. People who didn’t even know me hated me. Even though I’d never shown my true power people feared me. People underestimated me because I’d needed a tutor’s help.

Magic radiated from me, fueled by the fury I’d been masking under a guise of pity. The ground beneath the armor began to shake and shudder.

I shouldn’t let myself get worked up because it wouldn’t do any good. I should put those feelings away and focus on pushing through and dealing with it later.

It was always later, though, wasn’t it?

But something twisted inside of me and the magic filled every cell, every pore, threatening to ricochet out and spill onto everything around me.

This time, I thought, I didn’t want to pull the magic back. I didn’t want my anger and my pain to collapse in on itself when I stuffed it away.

And despite the pain, I pushed through. I laid my hand on the armor’s hollow shoulder to urge it forward. One step at a time, it crossed the river without issue and the tenuous cord binding me to this spell began to grow. To surge. To strengthen to the point where I knew no matter what I did today, it wouldn’t stop until I wanted it to.

I held my magic to me, imagining it like the sun. A swirling circle of endless energy with no beginning and no end. It was my birthright.

I remembered the day Juno set me on that practice trial, her words to me. I remembered the tiny flicker I’d managed and the way my strength flagged no matter how hard I’d tried.

It’s your internal fortitude. You’re doubting yourself and it’s not allowing your magic to manifest to its fullest potential.

How many times had I held myself back because of doubt? Because I didn’t feel safe being myself?

With the sun spell, I’d needed the connection to the earth. I’d thought if I drew what I could from the land itself, it would be enough. I didn’t realize I was the source. I was the connection to the land through my blood and where I’d come from.

I refuse to let you use your halfling status as an excuse anymore. I’ve felt the level of power inside of you, Tavi. This is not the time for excuses nor is it the time to doubt yourself. You have as much power as any of the students you go to school with, no matter what you think. Now focus.

She’d instructed me to call down the sun and hold it for as long as possible. What I hadn’t understood at the time was that it wasn’t the power of the sun—it was the power of me. My power. My magic. And now I must find the same kind of mental and physical endurance.

Juno was right. That was my first thought when I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and conquered that plateau, pushed through the boundary. And it was as if a dam keeping the majority of my magic in check had burst. She’d been right about more lurking beneath the surface. More power than I knew what to do with, and I’d been afraid of it my whole life.

No more flickering light. No more doubting my energy and trying to bear down to force something to happen. Now it came to me easily.

And not long after, I crossed the finish line. I could finally tune in to the cheers and howls and applause. Not just a finisher. One of the top few.

“Tavi! Oh my God! Oh my God, you did it!”

Melia’s voice reached me and at last the suit of armor halted and lowered its arms, allowing me to slip from its grasp. I wasn’t feeling the cold when my friend grabbed me and tugged me into a lung-squashing hug.

From over Melia’s shoulder I saw another figure coming through the woods. A second suit of armor. This one carried the golden-haired prince on its shoulders.

No matter how we’d ended things between us the other day, nothing could stop me from holding out my hand to him. And amidst the screaming crowd chanting his name, Mike came to me, hugging both Melia and me at the same time.

“You guys!” she was saying. “You’re in the top finishers. You’re in the top!” Her voice ended in a screech and I allowed myself a moment of rare and surprising joy. I howled with her. I jumped up and down surrounded by two of my best friends in the world. I sank myself into the moment because the small voice in the back of my head told me to savor it while I could.

“Well done, you two.” A familiar voice chuckled dryly near us and when I glanced over I saw Headmaster Cyrus staring at us with a small smile. His one milky blue eye still freaked me out, but I returned the smile. “Very well done,” he said. “You can take your places with the rest of the top winners.”

“It’s fine. I’ll catch up with you later. You can tell me everything.” Melia rubbed a circle on my back and bid goodbye to Mike.

There were only five other students who’d managed to cross the finish line so far. Mike grabbed my hand and we joined the others, Arlyss among them. It was the best mood I’d been in for days. Must be, because I wasn’t even annoyed to see Arlyss’s smug face.

“Well done,” Arlyss said. Mostly to Mike. But I caught the way his gaze flicked to me. “What sort of magic did you work?”

We circled up and compared notes. Mike still held my hand. I didn’t know much about being happy these days, but I figured it must look like this. It had to.

Minutes passed until Headmaster Cyrus stepped into the middle of the clearing, clapping his weathered brown hands for attention. “Students! Your ears to me, please. Attention, everyone!”

It took precious seconds to get our excitement to quiet long enough to hear him.

“Everyone please return to your homes immediately.”

Mike’s fingers tightened around mine.

“What’s going on?” I whispered to him as I craned my head to see above the crowd.

“I’m not sure.”

“Quickly now,” Cyrus barked out. “We’re opening a portal to transport you all back to the courtyard of the academy. Everyone, please. Let’s go. Now.”

It didn’t take long for the news—not a rumor—to reach us: Another student was dead.

Oh no!

I slid my arm around Mike’s waist. At least he was safe.

“Come on, stay close to me. It’s going to be fine.”

He kept his gaze trained ahead as we all made our way slowly toward the hastily opened portal. The familiar clench of magic pinched against my skin as we passed through.

Much to my surprise, Melia hadn’t left yet, and she followed us through the portal, her expression of worry no doubt mirroring my own.

“Did you hear?” She stepped closer to my other side opposite Mike.

“Yeah, we did.” I swallowed over a lump in my throat. “What happened?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure but I’m going to stay with you two for a little bit. I hope no one will mind.”

“I surely won’t mind. Stay as long as you like. Just know you’ll be dealing with some really obnoxious people,” I warned.

“Oh, it’s okay. I’ve gotten used to Mike.”

“Hey now!” He pretended outrage, but I could tell he was equally happy to have Melia around.

A little later we were all asked to gather in the public dining hall of Elite together. Soon a handful of other students poured in from the portal, some who had made it through the Trial though not in the top times, and others who had failed or been officially cut short by the newest development. Someone had the bright idea to break out refreshments to celebrate. Among the faculty I saw Miss Wicks pouring glasses of champagne for us.

I also saw Coral. Guess she’d made it through too. Like I had any doubt about her ability to win. I secretly—and a bit juvenilely, I admit—stuck my tongue out at her behind her back before happily accepting a glass of bubbly from Melia.

“Cheers to your win!” she called out before tipping her glass for a long sip.

Suddenly, despite the latest tragedy, things didn’t seem so bad after all. Mike had his arm around me, Melia was smiling, there were glasses clinking together, and everyone was happy. Chatting and excited despite the bad news.

Somewhere along the line word caught us about the student who’d died. A quiet girl, one of the bookish sort I might have been friends with if I’d been at the top of the class at Elite with her.

“It’s happening again,” Melia moaned, shaking her head so hard golden-brown curls fell over her face. She took another drink. “The same damn thing trailed us here from the mortal world.”

“Aw, come on,” Mike said. He kept his arm around my waist and heat spread from where he touched me. “Surely it’s not as bad as you think. It’s not like we have another serial killer in our midst.”

Except Mike didn’t know what I knew.

Maybe I really was too good at keeping secrets.

“I’m sure your father has all of his people on the case.” Melia took a step closer and lowered her voice. “I mean, it’s not like what happened at the halfling school. This was a full-blood Fae. The king is probably sparing no expense to make sure this is stopped in its tracks.”

“Yet it keeps happening,” I said. I hadn’t told Melia everything. Funny how I would keep the Claw & Fang from her even though she knew about my secret halfling status.

Great idea, Tavi. Stir the pot a little more, why don’t you.

“I don’t want either one of you to worry,” Mike said. “We have people on it. Not only my father and the guards, but the Faerie Bureau of Investigation.” He jostled me. “Tavi is well acquainted with their bulldog ways. Right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Sadly, yeah. They are focused on finding the killer. Or finding a guilty party, at least. Someone to pin it on and restore order.”

Hopefully with this latest body, they would find the real killer, because this witch hunt needed to stop.

“Hello, Tavi.”

I jerked at the familiar voice. I spun around to find Selene staring at me, her black hair gleaming under the light of the chandeliers.

“Have some time to talk to little ol’ me?”

“Isn’t that the reporter who bothered you during the Spring Games?” Mike asked under his breath.

I patted his arm. “It’s fine,” I assured him. “I’ll only be a minute. She probably just wants to talk about the Trials, I’m sure.”

I knew she didn’t. I’d seen that look in her eyes too many times during our meetings. My skin prickled as dread settled beneath my sternum.

“What’s wrong?” Selene and I kept our footsteps purposely slow and normal on our way out of the dining hall. “What’s happened? Is it about the latest student victim?”

She waited until we were alone to answer. “It’s not about the student. I’m sorry to pull you away from the celebration—”

“It’s fine,” I interrupted with a wave of my hand. But she hesitated. What didn’t she want to tell me?

She was clearly nervous, her normally flawless makeup smeared in places, and lines where there had never been any lines before.

Her next words chilled me to the bone. “It’s Bronwen. She’s been attacked.”