Chapter 14

14

January passed in a blur, and between tutoring with Juno, an increased class load, continuing to work in the kitchen, and doing my weekly rounds with the Claw & Fang, I didn’t have enough room to breathe. School, work, repeat. Soon my worries took a backseat and eventually Onyx and I came to a tentative truce. We resumed our once a week training sessions.

It wasn’t the same. I wasn’t sure it would ever be the same, and at first he didn’t even want to look me in the eye. No matter what we said to each other, now there was a fissure between us. The easy camaraderie was all but gone. By the end of the month we were barely making small talk with each other.

At least there were no more murders, and the Claw & Fang leaders came to the conclusion that maybe the first three victims were an isolated spree and perhaps our killer had met an untimely end. One could hope. I wasn’t sure I believed it but we stopped the rounds and that cleared a bit of space on my packed schedule. I’d take whatever break I could get.

Score one for Tavi.

Halfway through February, I sat at my desk, watching the snow pile higher and wondering how I’d gotten here. Not here physically but here in this wasteland of nonstop work with a decided lack of Mike in my life since our fight. Melia understood, and I found myself using her as a sounding board because she had an insane ability to listen, process, and always offer up the perfect advice.

Unfortunately, in this situation there was nothing she could do in the end besides offer an ear, because although I took her advice to heart, it didn’t grant me extra time in the day.

“Don’t worry about Mike,” she had assured me. “He’ll come around. He always does.”

It was better to keep my distance from the prince. I tried to assure myself of it repeatedly but nothing I said ever worked. I still missed him.

February rolled into March and spring break finally arrived, giving me a much-needed block of free time where I could lounge in bed for an extra hour without feeling guilty about it. Juno gave me a few days off from tutoring, and Raelynn even let me have the week off from working in the kitchens.

Score two for Tavi.

It was a week of pure bliss. Five days where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, including reading for fun. Except I found I didn’t want to spend my break in my room. Not when there were so many places to roam. And roam I did.

I swallowed a laugh, walking down the hallway toward the hot springs grotto beneath the castle I’d discovered on accident. Although part of me wondered why no one ever told me about the hot springs, I decided to keep them to myself. Maybe they were simply forgotten, and if I inquired about them, that might remind others and they’d become too crowded to enjoy. And if I’d discovered something heretofore unknown, well then, I wouldn’t risk giving their location away.

Clutching my book tighter, I walked through the corridors and down the spiraling staircase into the grand hall. Last year at this point, reading for pleasure would have seemed like no big deal. Now I realized I’d taken those lazy days of my past for granted.

I didn’t notice the increased number of guards lining the stone walls. I certainly didn’t notice King Tywin until he nearly ran over me.

“My, my. Tavi Alderidge. Here I thought you’d all but disappeared on us.”

I glanced up and up and up until I met his eyes, like twin sapphires pulled from the Arctic Circle. A striking man, Tywin stood much taller than the average person, gray-haired and wearing his power like others did clothing. It crackled around him in a visible aura. Chin pointed, jaw line that could cut glass, his face gave no hint of softness. Everything about him was hard and heavy.

Today the Elder Council surrounded the king on all sides. They stared down at me and there I stood in my bathing suit and cover-up. Heat rushed to my face.

“I’ve been busy studying, Your Majesty.” I kept my head dipped low and spoke softly, feeling absolutely embarrassed. Of all the times for me to run into the king…

“Wonderful. I’m glad to hear it,” he replied with a low, unamused chuckle. “You were at the top of your class back in the human realm but at the bottom of your class now. I certainly expected much better from you.”

One of the guards behind him joined in the king’s laughter, the sound turning into a dry cough. Blood rushed to my head and stayed there until I nearly felt woozy.

“Yes, sir, I am aware. I’m trying my best to get my grades up and keep them up.”

What else could I say to him? There was no way for me to defend myself. Not when he was right.

“Good, good. I’m glad to see you aren’t allowing the dark stains of the past to influence your efforts in the present. After all, Madam Muerte’s murder remains unsolved and the investigation is still ongoing. The strain of this alone would be a burden for anyone to bear.”

I glanced up with a start. Did he…? He did, I realized when I saw the smugness on the king’s face. He still thought I’d murdered the carnival gypsy and somehow gotten away with it. God, I could barely pass my classes. Did he really believe I could get away with murder?

Apparently so.

I kept my mouth shut, unsure how to word whatever I wanted to say to him and deciding silence spoke for itself. It was better not to come across as a smart mouth, as my uncle Will had called me, saying I had a real problem keeping the lips zipped. Well, yeah. Who doesn’t when falsely accused?

With my gaze averted and nothing else forthcoming from me, it didn’t take long for King Tywin to lose interest and bid me a good day. The Elder Council behind him was silent as they followed.

I didn’t trust the monarch as far as I could throw him. Which wasn’t far because he was built like an ox. Melia had once told me she didn’t trust him either, saying he’d been in power for far too long, longer than any other monarch in recorded history. And I had to admit there was something odd about him. Just thinking it caused a buzzing at the back of my neck I could neither describe nor ignore.

What was his real deal? And what did he want from me?

The king ruled Faerie with an iron fist. Directly beneath him was the Elder Council who handled most of the magical issues and banded together to support the king unreservedly. Beneath the elders were the courtiers with their respective holdings, in charge of their lands and properties and the people beneath them, although ultimately everyone answered to Tywin. There was no democracy here.

Jogging the rest of the way down through the catacombs, I followed the wisps of steam into the grotto. A knot of tension loosened at the sight of the water. Bluer than any in the mortal world and drawing me forward.

Come on, Tavi, let go.

Yes. I planned on letting go.

As if the water called my name, I shucked off my cover-up and tossed it into the corner, holding my book aloft as I stepped into the heated pool. And sighed with contentment. Oh yes, this was what I needed. A moment to recuperate, to still the shivering in my insides and let everything slip away.

The unexpected encounter with the king left me feeling ungrounded. Vulnerable. Something about him always felt like it probed my mind for weakness and prepared to stab in whatever tender spots were found.

Like bringing up my failing grades. Talk about a soft spot. He had no idea, of course, what I’d been doing to try and pass the classes in his stupid school.

I was improving, slowly, I thought as I flipped to the last page I’d read, keeping the book elevated above the water. Not only would I get to the top of the class again, but I’d do it with style. I’d pass those damn Trials too and come out on top. Then it was only a few more years before graduation and I’d leave this damn city behind for good.

“I’ll show him,” I muttered.

“Tavi!”

I jerked at the sound of my name, splashing water and nearly dunking my book. Then my mouth went dry and my stomach swooped.

“M-Mike? What are you d-doing here?”

Gah, did I really stutter? I gave a little giggle to cover up the nerves, the sound ending on a snort. Kill me now. I tossed the book over the edge to keep it safe and dry and sank down until my chin touched the water. Probably red-faced to match my hair, too.

“I didn’t realize you knew about this place,” he said, walking up slowly.

Mike didn’t have a towel with him.

And he was shirtless. Shirtless.

He was a golden god. He was sunlight and summer and everything good in the world.

And I was awkward as hell.

My mouth stayed dry and the rest of me began to tingle like I’d walked right into a hornet’s nest. Especially when he threw his legs over the edge and let his body slip into the water on the opposite end of the pool.

“I found it by accident,” I explained, sounding a bit defensive to my own ears. My mouth slipped too low in the water and some of the words came out as a gurgle. “I wanted a place to relax.”

He shot me a tense smile. “It’s the perfect place, then. No one really comes here anymore and I think a lot of the palace staff and courtiers have forgotten about it over the years. Mostly my mother and I come down here when we need to get away. And she’s been so busy lately. It’s good to know someone is making use of the hot springs.”

“Yeah.”

We stared at each other for a long moment, my gaze searching his. Neither of us had apologized after Coral’s party, and I wondered if I would be the one to break first or him. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Have you had—”

“What have you—”

We spoke at the same time and both ended up laughing. “You go,” I told him.

“I just wanted to know if you’re having a nice spring break,” Mike said. His gaze searched my face.

I slipped off the submerged rock ledge I’d been perched on and floated in the center of the pool for a moment, steam rising between us. “It’s been necessary,” I told him, legs kicking to keep me afloat.

He nodded. “You deserve some time off. I know things have been hectic.”

“You have no idea. How about you? Keeping busy?”

This felt awkward. We’d never been good with small talk, not really. Our conversations from the start tended to begin rather shallow but quickly dive deep. Even though there were secrets I could never share with him—like my bloodline—neither one of us was a stranger to the other. We’d always been able to communicate.

Except when we chose to freeze each other out. That we did really well. Seemed he was just as stubborn as I was.

Here in the grotto with the warm water working its magic, I didn’t want to shut him out anymore. And it looked like he didn’t want that, either.

“Look,” Mike said, trailing one large hand over the surface of the water, making ripples, “I’m sorry about what happened at Coral’s party. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I…I wasn’t sure how to talk to you about it and I ended up staying away because I didn’t want to make things worse. I’m sorry.”

I straightened. “You are?”

“And you were right.”

“I was?” Were my eyes bulging? It sure felt like my eyes were bulging.

He nodded. “Yes. I do change around my friends. I adopt this other persona until I’m a different person because I feel…lesser around them.” Once the admission was aired, he sent me a nervous glance. “I mean, they always make me feel like I’m not doing enough or I’m not being enough. Which is probably just all in my mind but I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to hide who I am because I don’t feel like I’m someone special.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “But you are special,” I blurted out. Instead of giving myself time to be embarrassed by the admission, I bowled ahead. “You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not in order to make people want to be around you. You’re a great guy, Mike. People want to be around you because of that and not because of some persona you adopt. The right people will be behind you no matter what. You shouldn’t have to change to impress the wrong people.”

He always seemed to have loyal friends around him, I realized, thinking back to our time together at the Fae Academy for Halflings. Take Roman, for example. He’d been so worried about Mike’s chances of making it through the culling—although I still didn’t understand why, and no one wanted to tell me—that he’d killed to make sure Mike succeeded. Actually killed. As in murdered. Why would Mike think he needed to impress people now?

And when was I going to learn the truth about his time at the other school?

His smile loosened at the edges and his eyes lost a little bit of the anxiety darkening them. “Will you help me?”

I froze and every other thought left my brain, probably leaking out through my ears. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” He circled closer to me, his arms cutting powerful strokes through the water. “You, Tavi. You’ve never been afraid to call me on my bullshit. I know I act like a rotten kid sometimes but it’s better when you’re around. I’m better when you’re around. And you always stand by my side no matter how rotten I get.”

“Come on,” I joked. And I couldn’t resist splashing him.

Mike’s eyes widened. “I’m serious!”

“You want me around because I call you on your crap? That sounds like a load of crap.”

“I’m going to continue this by saying I’m sorry I haven’t been around much after our fight. I was hurting and acting stupid. I’ll finish it by saying I would never lie to you, and everything I’ve said has been the truth. I’m better with you.” He swam closer yet and my gaze narrowed onto the beads of water flowing down his collarbone and it shocked me how much I wanted to use my tongue along the same path.

Yikes.

“I’m sorry too, Mike. I’d had too much ambrosia apparently and I let my insecurities do the talking at the party,” I told him. “Then I felt too awkward and ashamed to come find you.”

“You? Awkward?” Mike shook his head. “No.”

I wanted to send up a prayer and thank whoever it was upstairs watching down on me for this time with Mike. I wanted to jump on him and push him back against the walls of the grotto and kiss him senseless. Maybe it was the steam going to my head.

We circled each other, close enough I could touch him if I wanted to. Our legs occasionally knocked each other. The heat of the water was nothing compared to the fire inside of me.

“How do you suggest I help you, then?” I asked him. Surprised when my voice dropped into a low coo.

Easy now. I wasn’t flirting, exactly. I genuinely wanted to know.

“I’m not exactly sure. But I’m going to need you to be around. Like, all the time,” he replied. “You’re the only one I trust. Something else I should have told you sooner. I’ve made up my mind.”

Oh. Ooh boy. “Maybe you shouldn’t trust me.”

“Why not?” he asked, blinking.

“Because sometimes people are not who they seem to be,” I admitted. “Maybe they have things hidden deep down they aren’t allowed to share with anyone else.”

Mike bit the inside of his lip as he decided what to say. “We all have dark parts of us. And it’s up to the people we love to shine a light on those parts without judgment. You know?”

“I’m starting to know. And I want you to know I really am sorry. Sometimes I go too far and say things I shouldn’t. You’re going to have to watch me. And forgive a lot if…if we’re going to be around each other.” That sounded like heaven.

“I guess we can both step out of line sometimes,” he agreed. “We might have to learn when to stay strong and when to bend.”

“Then I think it’s a good idea to make it up to each other. Starting now.”

The heat definitely went to my head because I was definitely flirting now, and I didn’t stop Mike when he pushed a hand against my shoulder, guiding me gently through the water until my rear hit the ledge I’d been sitting on. I didn’t stop him when he reversed our positions, sitting down on the ledge and moving me onto his lap with my knees on either side of his hips. His hands were on my waist to keep me in place.

Ooh boy indeed. I knew it was a bad idea. I settled on top of him regardless, my arms rising to loop around his neck.

When his lips found mine in a kiss for the ages, I didn’t stop him. I couldn’t have even if I wanted to. And I didn’t. A rush of feeling went straight to my head and on a groan I pressed against him.

He kissed the last bit of sense right out of my head and I let him. Gladly. When his tongue begged for my lips to open and tangled with mine, I swooned. He kept one hand on my waist as the other reached up to grab my hair. Kissing me like his life depended on it. I wanted more. I wanted everything.

This was the happiest I’d felt since coming to Faerie.

Happier than the first moment we kissed outside of the ballroom. Because here, it was only the two of us, with all our shadows in the open. Well, most of our shadows. As the kiss went on and on, his excitement pressing to my core and my body aching, I knew. This could really be something special.

This could be the end for me.