Chapter 27

27

A nother werewolf shifter in Faerie that didn’t belong here.

I blinked, catching Uncle Will’s gaze before he tore his attention from me. He sucked in a breath and stared around him at the open field and the faerie ring beyond.

And suddenly there was Mike swinging his fist. His knuckles connected with the side of Uncle Will’s face and the surprise was enough to get the werewolf to release Livvy.

Will recovered in half a heartbeat and moved toward Mike, his mouth open and his growl rumbling through me. Engaging every instinct I possessed as a wolf.

Fear clenched my heart so tightly I lost my breath. I scrambled to get to Mike, to make sure Will didn’t shift, to obey the order.

My uncle was the alpha of our pack for a reason.

He had the strength and the savagery to hold the position, although he’d maintained his hold on our people through diplomacy. His instincts made him a good lawyer and a better leader.

They moved at the same time. Mike let out a yell and slammed both his hands against Will’s chest, using the older man’s momentum against him. Will staggered a bit but maintained his balance. The hair on his forearms began to grow dark and long.

But he hesitated. Why?

Why didn’t he take Mike down?

Suddenly I noticed details in sharp contrast. Will looking around at the surroundings as if memorizing every inch of the landscape. Memorizing the scents and the feeling of the air, the inherent magic of this place.

His eyes went wolfy and Mike managed to shove the older man back through the portal. Livvy reacted in the same instant and drew her key out of the lock, the door disintegrating, locking us on one side and Will on the other.

But it was too late.

Didn’t they realize what he’d done?

Will had seen where we were. He was memorizing the landscape to find another way in, with more muscle to back him up. Muscle like Grimaldi, who would stop fighting the Alderidge pack if he knew there was another way to get me back.

“We have to go, now .” I straightened to my full height.

“There’s no way he can get back through,” Mike replied breathlessly.

“Yes, he can.” If Kendrick Grimaldi could find a way to get to me during the Wild Hunt, then Uncle Will could do the same. I knew it in my gut. “Bronwen! Onyx! Noren! We’ve got to go.”

The longer we hesitated, the more likely it was that Will would find a way to bring the entire pack to Faerie. The boundaries weren’t going to hold him off if he was determined enough to break through. And we’d just given him a pretty big reason to rekindle his determination.

Between me and Onyx, our hasty escape was less a run and more a power walk. We navigated the field, the dew-drenched grass soaking through our pants instantly.

“You know, I’m getting really tired of this,” Bronwen grumbled.

“You’re telling me.” I flashed her a smile.

“Yeah, right, I am telling you. And I’m in the best shape out of all of us. No offense, Mike.”

He glanced sideways at her. “Why am I being dragged into this comparison?”

A layer of nerves underpinned the banter but I appreciated her attempt anyway.

And I liked having Mike close to me. He hadn’t hesitated to go head to head with Uncle Will. For me.

Except something Will said tickled my mind. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure he hadn’t somehow found a way to sneak back in through the same door and follow us.

“Hey, what’s the Abyss?” I asked Livvy. “Uncle Will said he banished your things there.”

Livvy looked shocked. “You heard him?”

“Of course. I was in the same room.”

She shook her head before glancing over at Laina. The two mothers shared a long look that sent prickles of cold awareness along every vertebrae.

Even Bronwen and Onyx felt tuned in to the conversation although both of them were doing their best to look disinterested.

“You’ve never heard about the Abyss before in school?” It was less a question than a statement when Livvy finally spoke again.

“Not before today.” But it felt important. “What aren’t you telling me?”

I felt her secrets like a change in the wind, a drop in temperature—something real and tangible.

Laina blew out a breath, her lips rounded and her hands trembling. They both looked…upset. Which only made me dig my heels in further. If the topic was off the table of discussion, then most likely I needed to know about it.

These kinds of secrets made for worse problems down the road. I’d seen it before.

My stomach curdled and I clenched down on my back molars in preparation to be a brat and demand they answer me. Luckily, Livvy spoke first.

“The Abyss,” she began with clinical detachment, “is a place where magical things—or people—are sent when they are not wanted in any realm. It’s like a hiding place. A terrible in-between. It belongs to nothing and no one.”

“It’s an empty corner of the universe to send awful things you want no one to ever find again,” Laina filled in. “Which makes it a very dangerous place.”

“Any realm? Like the mortal world and Faerie?” I asked.

Livvy marched ahead without looking at me. The blood on her arm had dried and plastered her shirt to her skin. She picked at it and said, “There are more worlds than you think, Tavi. The Abyss is one of those, only we can access it from here.”

“No. We do not go to the Abyss,” Laina warned.

A chill curdled my gut.

“We have no choice,” Livvy tossed back angrily.

The mothers faced off against one another and the rest of us slowed our steps, unconsciously putting distance between us.

“If there were any other way, don’t you think I’d take it?” Livvy’s hands balled into fists at her sides and she drew in a sharp breath, her nostrils flaring. We need the spell.”

An unspoken conversation passed between them and I had no clue who won, but they started to walk again.

“I don’t understand. If the journals you want are so important, then we have to retrieve them. How would we even get there?” I asked.”

“I know the way,” Onyx said softly.

“Wait, what?” Shock rippled through me.

I stopped dead in my tracks and reached for him, forcing him to stop beside me. His eyes were inscrutable and the dark circles beneath them were brought to stark contrast against the paleness of his skin and white hair.

He met my gaze, held it.

I wasn’t the only one surprised though. The others had all stopped as well despite our need for haste.

“You never said anything.” And there were plenty of opportunities for him to do so.

“Why would you want to know?” Onyx swallowed, his throat visibly working. “It was a time of my life I wanted to forget and it wasn’t relevant to our training. There was no reason for you to ask and none for me to bring it up.”

I felt like this was the kind of thing that should have come up before. If there was really a place in the universe where people, things, were banished into obscurity, then shouldn't it have been mentioned? Especially if Onyx?—

“You actually went there?” I clarified.

He grasped for my hand and our fingers brushed, both of us clammy and trembling. The contact steadied us both. “I was banished there by my father. Okay? As a teenager. I was one of those forgotten people. The one nobody wanted. He decided if I wasn’t willing to play his games, then I was better off there. Worse than dead, Tavi.”

Tears pricked my eyes. All that pain and suffering, all those years in his past where he’d had to survive his father rather than live the life he might have if he’d been born to any other family…

One day, I didn’t know when or where or how it would happen, but Kendrick would die. For what he’d done to his son. For what he’d done to any innocent he’d terrorized. I was going to kill Kendrick Grimaldi with my bare hands. I made the silent vow to anyone who might hear me, including Faerie herself–if the goddess existed.

“It was how I managed to get out of his clutches and into Faerie,” Onyx finished. “I found my way through the Abyss and out the other side. It wasn’t an easy path.”

He’d never told me this part of his history. A mix of emotions flooded through me, from concern and rage to terror and gratitude that Onyx trusted me enough to share it now.

“Would you be willing to take us there?” I squeezed his fingers. “To the point where you came out?”

“Tavi.” Laina’s voice held a world of warning.

“If we really need those journals, then we have to get into the Abyss. And we have a person who has not only been there but made it out. Somehow.” I refused to take my attention away from Onyx. This was between me and him. If no one else cared to join us, then it wouldn’t matter. I’d go alone.

“Are you sure you need these books?” He asked the question to me, not the others. “Are you really sure? The Abyss…you’re right to be afraid. I smell it on you. Your fear is tangible.”

Of course he did. The more I learned about the world–the worlds , plural—the more it terrified me. It felt like every day I discovered something new, perfectly designed to kill me.

Was I sure? No .

“The spell is of the utmost importance,” Livvy answered. “It’s the only way to unlock your powers, Tavi. And without them…”

She trailed off but I didn’t need her to finish the statement. We all knew what had to happen next. A pall fell over our group, a heaviness none of us were able to shake off. We knew where we were headed next, and luckily for us, Onyx knew the way.

Or maybe it was unlucky for us.

Onyx nodded, a decisive movement at whatever he saw on my face. Nothing good.

None of this was good, and every step we took to try to fix our mess led us into deeper and more dangerous terrain. For once, could our escape route head into fluffy unicorn and rainbow territory?

He drew his fingers from mine and limped ahead with a sullen cast to his features. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mike watching us and silently taking in the display.

“I can lead you to the place where I came out,” Onyx said at last. “From there, it might get tricky. But I remember the location.”

“Are we close?” Bronwen asked, biting down on her lip.

Onyx huffed out a laugh. “Of course not. I’m not sure how long it will be on foot. Not to mention, time has a different meaning in the Abyss. It may be a year inside, but only a few minutes in Faerie.”

Something hard and cold dropped from my chest and burned a hole on its way through me. A future I’d never wanted and never even considered a possibility was now locked into place and a part of me desperately beat against it. One tiny me in the huge face of the D-word.

Destiny .

Do people want to be special this way? Because I sure as shit didn’t.

Or are there more of them out there like me who just want to have a life where they feel normal, with a family and friends and school? It’s tough enough to navigate those things.

Onyx closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sky, inhaling. “We need to change our course a little bit. We follow the lines of energy. They all lead back.”

But Livvy seemed to understand him. I caught a flash of her bobbing her head although the lines of worry surrounding her eyes deepened along with the furrow in her brow.

I halfway expected Laina to argue. She knew more about this land than anyone else. If the Abyss were as dangerous as Livvy made it out to be, then wouldn’t Laina put her foot down? Tell us all to forget it?

I desperately wanted us to find another way but it didn’t really matter in the end. It wasn’t what I wanted but what I needed to do, and once again I swallowed every instinct screaming at me to run.

Onyx set the course for us.

We traveled for a whole day and only stopped intermittently to rest and eat. Or when his legs gave out under a rough spasm of pain.

Laina had been right about my return to Faerie. Whatever had happened to me in the mortal world seemed to have dissipated once we stepped foot into this world, but not entirely.

I still tired out easily and had to rest more often than not. My arm burned, and occasionally the dizziness got so out of control I almost puked.

Another lucky stroke—Onyx set the pace for us and he was no longer able to travel swiftly. Not with the ravages to his body.

We kept the conversation light until even trying to talk took much more energy than any of us were willing to expend. Silence fell easily as we struggled to put one foot in front of the other.

Or maybe it was just me. I had Noren to guide me when I stumbled or got too tired to walk in a straight line.

Bronwen, bless her, stuck close to Onyx and made sure he had what he needed.

The mothers, like they were some hastily grouped together unit, remained close to each other as well and often ducked their heads together and spoke in voices too subdued for any of us to make out. Even with our extra sensitive hearing.

Which left Mike striding on his own. He kept his focus straight ahead, and outside of a few small smiles when he caught me looking at him, we said nothing.

Despite the company, the experience was isolating for me.

Uncle Will knew where we were.

My mother was alive.

And Onyx was leading me toward my doom. Call it melodramatic but we stood on the edge of a change I didn’t want.

Finally, we found lodgings for the night at a tavern on the outskirts of one of those farming towns. A large water wheel churned beside it, attached to a mill with a river running through it.

“Are you sure this is safe?” I asked.

Laina drew her cloak over her head and worked a glamour to disguise her features. “We’ll be fine here. I want us to get a good rest in real beds. What we face isn’t for the weak.”

“How are we going to pay for it?”

The queen shot me a look that told me to shut the hell up and let her handle it. From the pocket of her cloak she drew out a purse.

“We need to be well-rested for what’s sure to be a terrible journey ahead of us.”

We waited on the front porch of the tavern until Laina came to get us minutes later.

“Here are the room keys.” She doled them out. “You’ll be bunking two to a room. I wanted us each to have our own space but the availability was limited in a place this size.”

Livvy snatched up the key to our room. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Laina answered simply.

Bronwen refused to step away from Onyx, so the two of them would share a room. The height difference would have made me giggle if I’d had the strength for it. He towered over her slight frame, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he rested an arm on the top of her head.

“The kitchen is closed for the evening but the innkeeper assured me we’d be able to get some things from the cook. Money can accomplish many things,” Laina continued.

My legs refused to carry me up the stairs without catching my toes on the risers. My own glamour was half-assed at best and probably flickered in and out of existence. Which made it a very good thing we’d arrived so late in the day.

Most everyone was gathered in the tavern, drinking away, and those who weren’t were safely tucked in their beds.

I wanted a shower and to sleep for days. I’d take either at this point, and although sleep was more important, I’d kill for the hot water.

Livvy glanced at the room numbers and led the way, with Noren trailing us. No one stopped the direwolf when he was the first through the unlocked odor. Noren checked out the space, sniffing in corners before sitting at the edge of one of the twin beds with his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“I think the coast is clear,” I said unnecessarily.

Livvy offered me a halfhearted grin.

The exterior of the inn had the old-timey Tudor look of a place you might find in rural England. The inside had been updated to more modern accommodations, with our own bathroom, fresh linens, and light-blocking curtains.

“You can shower first if you want,” Livvy offered.

I waved her off. “You go ahead. You need it more than I do.” I gestured toward her arm.

She slowly shifted her attention to the area as though she hadn’t really noticed the healed wound before. God, how long had we been awake for at this point?

Time blurred, and only the increasingly nagging ache in my limbs reminded me of the journey. There were too many blank places in my head for me to feel comfortable.

What would I do without another Band-aid from Barbara?

Livvy finished her shower quickly enough and exited the bathroom with a belch of steam. Her long hair trailed down her spine and she’d wrapped a towel around her midsection. There were still dark circles under her eyes but she looked refreshed.

“Your turn.”

“Okay, thanks.”

The strangeness of the situation wasn’t lost on me. We were alone together after she beat the crap out of Uncle Will.

We passed each other and I made sure to keep a few inches of space between us. Shock rippled through me when Livvy reached out to brush her fingers against my elbow and stop me in place.

“We’ll need to talk,” she said in a low voice. “Soon. About…everything.”

The conversation was a long time coming, but thinking about it brought a sinking sensation to my stomach. I could only nod, holding my breath, waiting for her to drop her hold.

She did and I walked stiff-legged into the bathroom.

The first hits of hot water on my skin were a godsend.

I’d never felt anything this amazing before. The pulsing spray crashed over my shoulders and although the tightness remained, at least the layers of filth from traveling quickly washed down the drain.

Steam filled the tiny bathroom by the time I finished. In the bedroom, Livvy lay underneath the sheets.

“I cleaned your clothes for you,” came her soft muttered tone. “A quick spell.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Will you teach me?”

She let out a breathy laugh. “One of these days, Tavi, I will teach you everything I know. And you will surpass us all.”

I quickly clenched down on my teeth to keep from saying anything else. And when she began to snore, I knew I'd made the right choice by not engaging. I brought my clothes into the bathroom, scrubbing the towel over my skin to dry before sliding back into my pants.

The last thing I wanted to do was get dressed but it didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in my underwear in front of Livvy. Not yet.

Three quick raps at the door, loud enough to be intentional. I glanced over to Noren but he’d curled up on the end of Livvy’s bed with his snout tucked underneath his tail. If he wasn’t alarmed…

Mike stood on the other side with one finger pressed to his lips and the other crooked to follow him. Shit, just looking at him took every molecule of air from my lungs.

He’d had the same idea as the rest of us. Wet tendrils of hair curled around his pointed ears and his eyes were shadowed but clear, alert. Watching me as he waited for my answer. I cocked my hip to the side and leaned heavily on the door.

“Why do you want me to be quiet?” I whispered.

He rolled his eyes. “Just come with me,” he hissed back. “I’m stealing you away for a talk.”

Whatever he wanted to do to me, I’d let him. Heat curled in my lower abdomen at the thought before I glanced behind me at Livvy’s sleeping form. There were plenty of other things I considered doing with Mike besides talking but?—

I bobbed my head and let the door swing shut behind me.

He reached to take my hand, drawing me down the hallway to his room and pushing open the door. Laina was nowhere to be seen. The double beds rested against the far wall underneath three windows, their curtains already drawn shut.

When he turned to face me, his features twisted in a relaxed half smile, a piece of me swooned and the tension in my chest relaxed inch by inch. His eyes got me every time. Without fail.

Yup, that was the face I remembered from the first night I met him.

On the side of the road with my broken-down car and a stranger offering to help. I liked to believe our paths crossed for a reason but I still wasn’t sure what the reason could be besides love.

My heart skipped a beat. “What’s going on?” I wrapped my arms around my torso but I wasn’t cold.

“Mom went down to the kitchen to grab some food. I think it was her way of giving us the privacy we need to talk.”

“I really hate that phrase,” I admitted.

“So do I. Especially since…” He trailed off and worked a hand through his golden hair. “We’ve had some doozies, haven’t we? Conversation-wise.”

He hadn’t turned me in to his father when he learned my secret. My bloodline.

He’d kept my devastating secret to himself, had gone with me and Melia to break into the Bureau office. He and Laina came this far to help with the journey.

I liked to think my heart wouldn't be broken again if we finally decided to trust each other, but the old fear was still there despite my best efforts. I knew no matter where life took us, I’d circle back to him again and again even though I was scared of the hurt.

“We’ve been pulled apart too many times to count,” I finally agreed.

Some people might consider it a warning from whatever higher powers existed. That Mike and I were too different to ever make this work.

Mike stepped closer. “You still consider us friends. Right?”

“Always,” I whispered. “You will always be my friend.”

How could I breathe with him this near?

“What about more than friends?”

My heart thumped. “I’m afraid you’ll walk away again.” There it was, out in the open. Somehow the truth slid out easier than I anticipated.

His moss-colored eyes narrowed. “I do that a lot to you. I know it. Which isn’t an excuse, Tavi. I walk away, and you keep secrets.”

I moved away from him but the distance wasn’t enough to break the spell. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I balanced my elbows on my knees, keenly aware of his presence. My skin prickled and went tight.

“You never made me feel less than average,” Mike went on. “Through the Faerie Trials and the tutoring, through murders and lies and bullshit with my dad and your secret society…you always treated me like I was someone worth knowing and not just because I’m a prince.” He lifted his gaze and pinned me in place. “You know you mean everything to me. Right?”

Oh, damn. How am I supposed to keep my distance and not kiss him?

My arms dropped from my legs and I stood. Mike closed the distance between us and we were close enough to breathe the same air but not touch. Not kiss the way I wanted to kiss him.

“I’ve fucked up,” he continued.

“So have I.” I swallowed hard. “Do you blame me? For your dad? For giving Barbara the Imperium ?”

Mike took a moment to answer and in the silence, parts of me went numb. “What she chose to do with it…you never could have known. And it’s never been the right time to talk and it’s never been the right moment for us to clear the table, to consider our issues. But I’m not sure how much longer we can keep doing that when we might not survive.”