Chapter 20

20

D orian Jade was everywhere.

On the lips of people on the street, in the eyes of animals and birds overhead—I had no idea how far his influence spread but I felt him here.

He was in league with Selene and with Cosmo Foxfall. With Claribel and probably an untold number of agents at the Bureau. Was there any place where his toxicity hadn’t reached?

Mike and Queen Laina stood out amongst the people of Yelaine as they were meant to stand out.

I pointed that out and a quick burst of the queen’s magic had their features subtly shifting in the shade of the alley.

The gleaming sunlit color of their hair slowly shifted into a more innocuous dirty-blonde. Their eyes were less vibrant, their features normal. Average.

A wave of the queen’s hand and I felt my own face shift as well, but nothing like when I changed form on my own. A little nip, a little tweak, and I wondered what I would look like to someone who knew me.

“There,” Laina murmured. “That will help us. I’ve hidden our scents for now but I’ll need herbs to work a more complete spell.”

“Can you do anything about our clothing?” Bronwen asked.

“Together, yes.” Laina held out a palm for her son and Mike slapped his against hers.

A burst of power spread out from the two of them and I wondered if adding my own would help or hinder them.

Within seconds the fabric of our clothing wove itself into different styles and designs. I flinched where the fabric brushed against my skin.

Shit, if I don’t eat soon, and sleep…

“Where do we go now?” Onyx leaned heavily on Noren, and even the direwolf appeared changed to a creature similar to a large German Shepherd.

Onyx and Mike eyed each other for the longest time and surprise straightened the curve of my spine. Oh, shit. The last time they’d seen each other had been at the execution and now both of them hovered around me protectively, the stare-down unbreakable over my head.

The pissing contest couldn’t last much longer.

I hoped.

Laina lifted her face to the sky. “We regroup for the night somewhere safe. There are several boarding houses in the area. Surely there are a few who cater to people who would prefer to travel with no questions asked. Those, I’m sure, will lie a little farther afield than the financial district. I have money.”

“Is that where we are?” I asked.

“Nearest the courthouse, yes. Several members of the Elder Council are in residence here. Farther from the sea, we’ll find what we seek. I’m sure of it, although it’s been many years since I’ve been to Yelaine. The city has grown much.”

She led the way down the street, navigating easily as the rest of us trailed after her.

I jumped, swallowing over a grimace when something touched my hand. Mike stared straight ahead, his eyes hard and flinty. He said nothing, only squeezed my hand once in acknowledgement as I fell into step beside him, firmly linked.

If we got out of this, I was telling him everything.

Every secret feeling I kept to myself, I wanted out there in the open. Even something as small as how I hate the taste of mustard on a burger.

I’d have nothing left to lose.

Then again, it wasn’t like we were getting out of this situation anytime soon.

We finally found a boarding house in the city and Queen Laina paid. One night, she assured the girl behind the counter, who decided it was better to have the cash in hand than to ask us about our travel plans, or the dog we insisted on bringing inside.

We climbed the stairs toward a large room on the third floor outfitted with enough bunk beds for five of us, including Noren, to safely tuck ourselves away. Mike lifted a silencing spell around the room the moment we were inside and his mom bolstered it with a few spells of her own.

The damping hush of their magic cast a safety net around us.

He’d gotten better with his powers somewhere along the line. And at least we were all together.

It counted.

I grabbed one of the bottom bunks and Noren hopped up beside me, once again sensing my exhaustion. We cuddled together as I watched the others move around the room, checking things out before each one of them settled as well. Mike and his mother were together, Onyx and Bronwen on another bunk.

Outside, the sun had already sunk below the horizon and cast the world in shades of night. We were too far away from the ocean to hear the crashing surf any longer and I found myself missing the sound.

I missed a lot of things, I mused, drawing closer to Noren. The direwolf seemed to have the same thought and he voiced no qualms about the closeness. The only thing I'd missed more than the normalcy of the creature’s presence, in a safe space like this, was Mike.

I watched him from the other bunk. He was close enough for us to reach out to each other and have our fingertips touch. For some reason, the closeness I needed from him would have to wait while the others were here.

We both seemed to be of the same mind. The look he shot at me was loaded with heat, understanding, and sweet solace. I felt the same.

“Now that we’re all here, and the room is secure, tell us what happened,” Laina said.

She settled herself on top of the sheets with her loose trousers speckled with blood and her leather holster still firmly in place. Her features eventually shifted back into the familiar beauty I was used to seeing.

Although her face gave nothing away, her fingers twitched, her posture tense. Even here.

There was no way to refuse the queen.

I glanced over at Onyx to find him already watching me, his head tilted to the side. Bronwen bounced her knees, her feet arched to the balls as she moved. No one wanted to speak. Not yet. Not when the silence was tinged and poised to shatter.

“Do you want to go first?” Onyx finally asked. His voice seemed as loud as a gunshot.

No, I actually didn’t. I wanted to put it all behind me but that was selfish. Laina put herself at risk to come and find us, and after what happened to Barbara…her mom…

So I took a deep breath and dove in. “As you know, Cosmo threw me in the dungeon.” I glanced toward Mike. “You saw me down there.”

He maintained the hard set of his shoulders, his lips thin and bloodless, but a hint of confusion remained in his moss-green eyes.

Start to finish and leaving out nothing, I forced myself to talk.

Onyx and I opened up about everything that had happened. Bronwen, when the appropriate moment arose, interjected a few times about her experience within Faerie, and what happened with the Claw & Fang. Things I hadn’t heard and stories that made my stomach flip for her experience.

I avoided Mike’s gaze at first. Talk about uncomfortable, and it never got easier.

But once it all came out…only my feelings for him remained a secret, as if someone put a physical block at the back of my mind attached to my throat. Everything else poured around the block.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and forced myself to look at him fully, trying to judge his reaction to my tale. Surely he’d remember the way Faerie reacted when I first got here. It wasn’t like I pulled facts out of the sky.

The land revolted at my presence. All the strange things that happened, all the secrets, were explained to the best of our meager abilities. Mike and Laina listened to the whole story from beginning to end without interruption, although the former had an audible reaction to Onyx’s reveal about his father, my fated mate.

Kendrick Grimaldi was a black pit of destruction.

Ultimately, they both looked shaken.

Mike reached out to grip Laina’s hand and comfort his mother. “We’re in trouble, aren’t we?” he asked.

“Rhetorically or literally, my love?” Laina shook her head. “I’ve felt the energies growing darker over the last few years. It appears things are coming to a head. I don’t want to believe this has been in motion for so long. It makes sense, however, what’s happening in the castle now.”

I hadn’t been aware of the tension my body held until she said those words. At once my nervous system crashed and I slumped forward, head bent toward my lap. “Thank you.”

Laina offered me a small smile. “For what, sweetheart?”

“For believing me,” I whispered.

“Why would I not?” She was so different from her husband, who had been prepared to throw me to the mob on a whim. “It’s clear to me that the premier is in league with Dorian Jade, and perhaps placed in a position of power purposely. No one ever suspected him.”

“None of what happened to you both should come as a surprise, either,” Mike added.

This time I couldn’t stop myself. I untangled myself from Noren and walked over to Mike. Took a stand between his legs until he unfolded himself from the bunk and stood over me.

How he’d grown over the last two years. Not just with his magic but physically, emotionally. As a person he was still the same boy with the lopsided smile who helped a stranger on the side of the road. But he was also so much more.

At last he held his arms open for me and I stepped in, stealing every moment of the hug as my own.

“We were trying to track down my missing mother,” I said. “That’s why we came. It’s the last place she was seen, and I thought if we could find her, then maybe—” Everything would be all right.

“What do you think will happen?” Mike wanted to know. “If you find her?”

“I don’t actually have a plan. We were just kind of moving forward to the next step.” I bit my lip. “I lost my place in the human world. I lost my place in Faerie. I thought maybe there was a place for me with her.”

Saying it out loud did nothing to stem my sense of worthlessness.

“Hey.” Mike’s hand fell on my waist and he squeezed to get my attention. “It’s okay, Tavi. It’s okay.”

There was too much pity in his voice for me to feel comfortable being this close anymore. I took a step in the opposite direction, offering him a grimace in place of my body and returned to my own bunk.

Onyx sucked in a breath, shifting his arms overhead and wincing. “If no one minds, I think I’m going to go to bed early. My body has been through what it can take, and I need to sleep.”

I agreed wholeheartedly. I’d been holding off the dizziness through our entire talk and now that I’d finally said my piece, it returned in full force. As though acknowledging it somehow made it much more intense.

My stomach gave a sickening dive and my arms pebbled with goosebumps. “I’m not far behind you,” I murmured.

Bronwen had already dropped to her side with her head rested against her pillow, eyes fluttering closed. Listening, as always, but relaxed.

Mike drew in a sharp breath and his jaw dropped as though he had something terribly important to say. But after a beat, all that came out was “Sleep well.”

It felt like an apology. The sweetness of it soothed some of the cracks in my heart. Some, but not all.

I nodded to him before turning to the queen. “Before I get comfortable, do you mind if we talk privately? There are a few things I’d like to tell you.”

She deserved to know about her mother. And since none of the others knew Barbara the way I did—if anyone could really know a witch like her—then I was the only one who could do this.

No matter how weird I felt when Laina stared at me, through me, and I finally recognized Barbara in some of her features. A much younger Barbara, I mentally corrected, before the chain smoking and the excessive use of power turned her into Swamp Hag of the West.

Laina rose and gestured for me to lead the way. We moved to a corner of the room containing a single large wardrobe, and a wave of her hand lifted a second silencing bubble inside the first.

“Only the two of us will be able to hear what’s said, Tavi.” Her hand slowly drifted back to her side.

“Do you mind hiding our faces as well?” I shifted from foot to foot. “I don’t want anyone to read my lips?—”

“No need to explain.”

The scent of flowers, the smell unique to her magic, filled the small protected space we shared and the bubble around us went opaque.

Her eyes landed on mine kindly, if a little confused, and damn, now I felt lower than low. Because I shouldn't be the one to tell Laina the truth about her past. Barbara deserved to be here instead of me. To hold her daughter’s hands and explain what actually happened.

I was only the messenger. And Barbara would never get to have this moment.

“If you don't mind, I want to talk to you not as a subject in front of her queen. Although…I know you are a queen.” I stumbled over my words and shook my head. A little disgusted with myself.

“Tavi? What’s wrong?”

I shook my head again, my mouth going dry. “When I was down in the dungeons with the witch, we talked to each other. It wasn’t the first time we’d met, either. Barbara helped me out when I was in a bad way.” No need to tell Laina what happened with the artifact, or how Barbara had maneuvered me into a bad position, my back to the wall and her threats at my front.

This heart-to-heart wasn’t my responsibility but I was the only one here to do it. I forced myself to take a deep breath and face the queen. To tell her everything that Barbara told me, the story of being her mother and how Laina had been sold to the royal family.

Through the story, she once again waited patiently for me to finish speaking before she offered anything other than facial expressions.

Boy, those were almost too much for me to handle.

Shock and horror I expected. Empathy and sadness, yeah, those I figured on too. But I almost lost it when Laina started crying.

“And you trusted her? This witch?” Laina asked finally as she hiccupped over a sob. “You think she spoke the truth?”

“Yes. I absolutely believed Barbara.” Trust? Now that was a different story. I had to make it very clear to Laina, however, that the story held merit. “The emotion was real and raw, and she loved you fiercely. She just wanted to save you. It was the only reason she did what she did and broke into Faerie. To see her daughter.”

A chill took root in my spine and I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself and looking away.

She’d make me cry if I wasn’t careful. The last thing I wanted was to lose it now. We had too far to go for me to break. I lost my breath when she grabbed me in a rushing hug. Forcing me to her and clinging to me. She pinned her arms around me and a wrenching sob shuddered through her.

“My mother is dead.”

Oh, shit, what could I even say to that?

I understood.

I’d gone my entire life thinking my mother had died as well, only to learn later that she lived. Which was almost as bad as hearing she’d passed in the first place. Worse, since I’d had a lot of time to become accustomed to life as an orphan. Laina had had her world rocked, and I’d delivered the bad news.

Slavery. Love. Betrayal.

The makings of a good TV show but a pretty shitty life experience.

“I’m so sorry,” I managed to get out.

Laina only hugged me and cried. Cried for what she’d lost, I imagined, for the memories and the mother she didn’t remember.

“The life I thought I had, the happy and wonderful loving life—” Laina cut off on a groan. “It’s a lie.”

No, no. I could not be the one to give the Queen of Faerie a complex. Which automatically had me feeling even worse because this wasn’t the time to be selfish and think about myself.

“You have a good life,” I tried to say with clumsy backpedaling. “You have a son who loves you and would do anything for you. You have people who care for you and find you to be a kind ruler.”

I stiffened when she let me go and stood back, smiling through the tears.

“I never understood why or how I ended up as queen. I’m a half blood. A witch. My makeup has always set me apart and kept me from being a true part of this world.” Laina swiped at her eyes. “Now I know why. It explains so much about my life and my circumstances. I know it wasn’t supposed to be your duty to tell me these things, but thank you. For being brave enough to do this. For standing up for the mother I never knew.”

I understood it, the relief. The horrible sense of being a part of something yet completely separate. My halfling status put me in the same position it did with Laina.

“I’m relieved,” Laina continued. “I want you to understand that I’m upset, yes, but not at you. Thank you, Tavi.”

“Please don’t thank me. This isn’t how I thought it would go but you needed to know what Barbara told me.” And now I considered it a job well done. My debt to Barbara had been paid on all fronts.

“You’re a good woman. And you’re lucky as well.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you have the love of my son, too. And it’s priceless. If anything good came out of my situation, it’s Michael. I regret nothing if it gave me him .”

My stomach dropped as heat colored my cheeks, because the last thing on my mind right now was Mike and my feelings for him. Boy, were there feelings.

“I really don’t want to talk about Mike right now,” I sputtered. Feeling like a total child in front of her.

Laina only continued to smile. A bonding moment, I realized, for the two of us. It put us on much more even ground where I could look at her not as a monarch with absolute power but as a mom. As a daughter. As someone like me who hadn’t quite figured out her place in life but continued to do her best.

“Whatever I can do to help you find your own mother, I’ll do it. You have my word,” she said softly.

“It’s a really nice offer.”

She gave me a gentle squeeze. “I mean it.”

“Well…” Now or never . “I actually have an idea.”