Chapter 18

18

“ J eez, hold on! Hold on. Don’t attack, it’s just me. Tavi, take a chill pill.”

The familiar voice came from directly ahead and as my pupils shifted to allow me better vision in the dark, the shadowy form of Bronwen swam into view.

I’d caught her somewhere between crow and human form and as I watched, she completed the shift. She solidified into her usual smile, her face round and her freckles standing out against the paleness of her skin.

Relief was so sudden it made me dizzy.

“I can’t believe you got through the wall.” In the next beat, I crossed the distance between us and grabbed her in a hug, her slighter form trembling in the cold. “How did you do it?”

And why was she here?

Bronwen glanced behind toward the wall and shrugged. “I came through it as a crow. Nothing happened to me. Why?”

“Tavi, who is it?” Onyx sounded sleepy but Noren stopped growling at least.

“It’s Bronwen,” I called back as loudly as I dared. I slipped from her hug and hid my stagger by turning, my stomach still flipping wildly and without control. “She found us.”

“You wouldn’t believe how crazy anxious I’ve been, searching for you guys. It’s been a really bad few days, let me tell you.” Bronwen crept over to Noren and rubbed him between the ears before she sat down cross-legged. She flashed Onyx a grin.

“You said you made it through the wall as a crow?” I asked.

She bobbed her head. “Yeah. I mean, being a bird is the fastest way to travel, and my crow form has honestly become like a second skin to me. It’s been so long since I changed into a wolf it almost feels like I should just be a bird.” Her laughter held no real joy.

“Do you think being in a shifted shape somehow lessens the impact of whatever magic was used to create the wall?” Onyx asked.

I gnawed on my lower lip. I didn’t have enough experience with the wall or knowledge of its creation to say for certain, but Bronwen’s arrival definitely proved the point on some level.

“You didn't just find a crack in the wall and come through? Or somehow manage to fly over the top…”

I trailed off at the incredulous look on her face.

“I came right through. There was a little bit of pressure, which is totally expected with that much magic, but I’m in one piece.” She ran her hands along the front of her body to prove the point. “I caught your scent. Well, actually I caught the direwolf’s scent, and followed that.”

“You shouldn’t have come. You put yourself in danger,” I warned.

“Being here puts a pretty big target on your back, too,” Onyx added.

“Well…okay, here’s the truth. I ran away. Things are not good back home.” She caught her breath, looking between us, and somehow withdrew into a tighter ball. “Selene has taken over the Claw & Fang officially.”

Dread curdled in my veins. “Why do you sound upset?” Selene was bound to do something with all the unrest.

She was a natural born leader.

Bronwen sucked in a breath, scowled, and said, “Because she’s dragged everyone into Unseelie. She’s joined forces with Dorian Jade.”

I stiffened in surprise, every part of me going taut. Selene did what ? My eyes went wide and my lower jaw dropped open. “Why?”

“Some things are going down at the castle that have people up in arms. Like, concerning stuff, Tavi. The premier has taken over with the King still in a coma. There’s a massive change in the guard and it’s bad.”

I wasn’t as shocked to hear that good ol’ Cosmo took the reins in hand. And I kept my lips zipped while Bronwen continued with her story, her features growing more animated the longer she talked.

“He’s shifting shit around, changing things, and there are a lot of terrified half fae running around not knowing what to do. Selene thought they’d be safer on this side of the wall with someone who was sympathetic to our plight. But—” Bronwen stopped, worried at her inner cheek. “I don’t think so. She’s said some things, some bad things, but I’m the only one who seems to be concerned.”

“Why don’t you believe her?” I withheld my opinion for as long as possible because I wanted to hear her reasons.

“The dude is just off . I’ve heard enough stories. I wasn’t too happy to find out where Selene wanted to take the others. Before she had a chance to force me across the wall, I ran. Tried to follow your scent and lost it after a couple of days. I was lucky enough to pick up on it again, and that’s when I came through.”

Bronwen wrapped her arms around herself, her teeth chattering.

“You’re right.” Onyx shifted into a more comfortable position and hid his wince from her. “Dorian Jade isn’t what he appears to be.”

I nodded. “He’s no better than King Tywin. Instead of wanting equality, he’s chosen to enslave pure-bloods.” I gave Bronwen a quick recap of what had happened to us and what we’d discovered.

Her moon-pale face took on a distinctive pink quality through the story, with Onyx interjecting occasionally with pertinent information. By the time we finished, Bronwen was flushed and her eyes even darker with rage.

“I knew it,” she seethed. “I knew there was something wrong with Dorian Jade. No one is that good. He’s got a hero complex and a villain persona.”

Which was usually my favorite thing to read about, but seeing it in real life felt like a different beast.

“I saw a spring a little bit away.” Bronwen pushed to her feet and brushed pine needles off the bottom of her pants. “I need to freshen up because I am worked up and it’s not a good look for me.”

She flashed her teeth in the gloom. Her canines had sharpened. She might not feel like her wolf was close by but I saw it just there beneath the surface.

Rather than waiting, Onyx and I joined her. The sting of fresh water felt horrible against my skin but soothed the ache in my throat from talking. Despite the late hour, none of us were prepared for sleep, too energized to stay still.

“Have you eaten?” Bronwen asked, shaking out her wet hair. “Because I’ll go catch something if you haven’t. You two look ready to drop. I wouldn't blame you for going hungry.”

“Noren brought us a squirrel—” I started to tell her.

But Bronwen was mid-shift, and with a pulse of energy, her form melted and in her place stood a crow with midnight-black wings. Her beady eyes met mine before she took flight.

She returned with a rabbit, dropping it at our feet, before she took off to scavenge more. Another trip and she brought back nuts and berries, the blue sheen of the skin looking fresh even in the night.

She made a good point.

Keeping a full stomach would make this trip much easier for all of us. Except we weren’t content to wait to get this journey started. We ate quickly, breaking off pieces of rabbit and eating it raw before tossing the berries down our throats.

Onyx was the first to attempt the shift, mostly because we had no clue how long it would take him or if his failing body could even complete the transformation.

I stood back and watched him struggle through the process, the small bit of food not helping against the constant pain. It took him longer than Bronwen’s effortless change to work through the shift but he finally stood in the clearing as a raven, a much larger form than Bronwen and her crow, with a distinctive white feather at the top of his head.

Birds weren’t my favorite shape to assume, but in this case they were the easiest form for long periods of travel. They tired less easily than animals with four legs.

I closed my eyes, breathing in slowly through the nose and exhaling through pursed lips.

The magic waited for my use far down within my body. It nestled in a ball at my core and I tapped into it now, willing my limbs to change.

A warm wave of power pulsed out from my core, forcing my muscles and limbs to contract. Smaller and smaller into an unrecognizable form. A twinge of pain accompanied the change but nothing I hadn’t felt too many times already.

Countless moments over the years where I let the wolf lurking inside my blood free. Except this time, she and I were something else, in accord with each other and both of us desperate for our freedom.

Onyx and I took flight at the same time. Noren followed beneath us, lifting his head only occasionally to make sure he remained on the same path. But we all headed in the same direction with the wall’s magic like a beacon drawing us near.

It loomed ahead, an energy signature of its own, blocking out the rest of the world. It was an oppressive presence and I found myself choking the closer I got.

The bird saw the world differently but one thing remained the same—I didn’t want to be anywhere near this thing, and I automatically sensed that flying over it would be next to impossible.

I dropped down to the ground a few feet away from the wall and craned my head up. Up and up. Nerves rippled underneath my wings and my tiny bird body shook. Onyx landed beside me and pressed close enough for me to feel the shudder rippling through him as well.

What happened if it wasn’t as easy as Bronwen said?

What if something happened to us and the magic of the wall, without the special collar, tore us to shreds? Or worse. It might absorb us and use us to power itself for another hundred years.

Animals were able to pass through, but if the wall knew the difference between real ones and shifters, then we were absolutely sunk.

A cold snout pressed underneath my right wing and shuffled me a few inches closer to the wall. Noren, but not to pressure me into moving through. For comfort.

Even his presence wasn’t enough to soothe me.

He, definitely, was capable of simply walking through the wall. Dorian’s cronies hadn’t put a collar on him.

I heard Onyx’s voice inside my head, with every bit of panic and anxiety he felt. They colored the words and expressed themselves in shades of orange and red. Tell me it’s all going to be okay .

I’m not sure, which is why I haven’t gone through yet , I answered.

Crows don’t sweat, but the woman inside the crow certainly did. Already my psyche splintered in anticipation of all the terrible things that might happen to us. Except we’d wasted too much time already.

I took a small bit of comfort from Noren, as the direwolf took his first step through. Power hummed along his back and illuminated every single one of his hairs in a golden aura.

Finally he disappeared with a flick of his tail.

No time like the present , I tried to tell myself, for confidence. Tried and failed.

Onyx moved first, which prompted me into flight. We lifted off the ground a few feet and hovered in the air for half a heartbeat longer before we darted into the wall.

The pressure increased and the air slowly disappeared as though I waded through water. Things felt lighter than they had when I stepped through originally. Lighter but no less terrifying.

I beat my wings faster, faster, pushing as hard as the little body would go—and then we were out the other side.

I could finally breathe.

Noren waited there, with Bronwen perched on his shoulder. The little crow snapped her beak at our arrival. Onyx was a pace behind me.

The moment we were all together again, we took off, this murder of crows and the direwolf on the ground below. His strides ate up the miles and I had to admit that Bronwen had been right about flying.

It made things much easier.

I’d have tired of running even though I missed the feeling of my claws digging into the dirt, the way the forest looked from the eyes of a predator.

We traveled for most of the night and into the next day, stopping for an hour to rest before we were back in the air. Noren kept guard over us and the direwolf seemed tireless. Once we’d slept, we found a creek offering fresh water and took off again.

We reached Yelaine in the afternoon with the light thinning and the sky going golden.

I squinted against the glare of the sun as Bronwen circled and found a space between buildings for us to shift back.

The moment I returned to my half fae form, exhaustion swamped me.

Onyx drooped and held on to the wall for support. On the outskirts of the town there were few people to pass by and see us. These were the last houses before the town began in earnest and to the left were flat expanses of grassy fields dotted with white flowers and heavy fences of boulders.

“I don’t know about you but I can’t go much further. We need to rest,” he said.

“I’m sure we can find a bed and breakfast or something in the next few miles, if you can make it,” answered Bronwen with a small smile.

Where did I even begin to search for Mom?

This place was huge.

We were filthy and travel-worn, and we all knew if we wasted another minute, those precious seconds would count against us. Not to mention my mom was full-blooded Fae. Which meant she wouldn’t be associated with the Claw & Fang or any spots they might frequent.

She could be anywhere.

I shook out my head and arms, craning my neck to work out the kinks.

Glimpses of the sea shimmered in the distance. The city, from what we saw overhead, looked like a combination of cottages and chalets close to the water. The further inland you went, the more it grew into an actual city.

“If you want to rest and get something to eat, Onyx, then be careful,” I said, finally straightening. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Just stay out of sight while I look.”

Bronwen regarded me with overly wide eyes. “You’re not going to sleep?”

“No. I’m fine.” I flashed her a ghost of a smile. “I want to start my search. The sooner I find her…” I trailed off.

I’d spent too much time imagining what it would be like to finally see the woman who gave birth to me. But to this day I had no idea what to actually expect, and none of my fantasies extended to the conversation we had coming.

I had no clue where to start.

I opened my mouth to say something, the others watching me intently, and my stomach gave a violent and audible rumble.

“I think we should all get something to eat before you head off on your own,” Bronwen suggested. “Honestly, I think we’re tired and hungry and need support.”

“You have an idea?” Onyx wanted to know.

Noren, without prompting, stayed to the wilderness on the outskirts of the green fields. He wouldn’t stick out but I wasn’t willing to risk his safety. Only mine.

We kept close to each other on the sidewalk, catching glimpses of the ever nearer sea. The view opened up in front of us, composed of individual thatched cottages that reminded me of a television show I’d seen set in England.

The cliffs were not as magnificent as the black rock I’d seen on the show, but there were lichens and flowers leading down to the sea and birds screeching overhead. The expansive sea stretched into eternity with a timeless push–pull.

The sidewalk curved toward the water, the cottages growing closer and more eccentric the nearer we got to the sea wall.

Even this late in the afternoon, there were fae out running along the little beach, with small children splashing and playing.

It was a vastly different scene than anything in Eahsea, or at home in the mortal world. The pale pebbles of the beach were dotted with driftwood and seaweed marking low tide, and a small fleet of white sails bobbed distantly out on the waves, anchored safely.

“This is beautiful,” Bronwen muttered, sounding as though she was warming to the area.

“It’s definitely something, isn’t it?” Onyx added quietly.

His attention had focused on a small group of turquoise-winged fae flitting down the road parallel to the shoreline. They were shorter than the average fae but larger than a toddler’s stature. He watched them until the group disappeared among the tall walled buildings and cafes along the walk.

Yelaine looked like the type of place where wealthy couples “got away” from the city for their mental health. All cute, quaint, and safe. The crashing of the waves made a beautiful hum of backdrop noise and my own pulse thrashed and danced to the melody. Partly compulsion and partly nerves.

“There.” Bronwen pointed ahead to a black and red flag fluttering in the breeze coming off the water. “That’s where we need to go.”

“How can you be sure?” Onyx squinted and tried to read the sign in hammered gold beneath the flag. “Trust me, I know what to look for. I’ve been with the Claw & Fang much longer than you guys. I mean—” Bronwen huffed out a small chuckle and started to walk.

I hesitated behind her, my feet like two anchors and the rest of me unwilling to move.

If Selene had taken the members we knew and brought them under Dorian’s wing, then what would make the members in this city any different? What if they took one look at us and decided we’d be better off with him, too?

Then we’d be right back where we started.

Then again, we were out of other options. We had no money and no food, no place to stop for the night. And I knew the chill off the ocean would be worse at night. I forced one foot in front of the other and followed Bronwen and Onyx into the local faction of the Claw & Fang.

Finding it had been much less work than stepping over the threshold. The fluttering red and black flag above obscured the words of the pub until we were directly in front of it.

Sea’s Deep .

I shivered at the words as though there were some sort of deeper meaning hidden in there somewhere. The interior of the pub offered a nice respite from the wind, though. The walls were wooden and stained a rich oak that offset the darker, wider planks of the floor.

A stone fireplace took up much of the wall to my left, and the flickering flames of golden, amber, and crimson heated the place to the perfect temperature with fae magic.

Several pairs of half fae rested at the bar with their elbows balanced on the polished top. They turned our way and I found myself freezing beside Onyx. Even Bronwen had a hitch in her step and her habitual cheerful grin faltered.

The bartender straightened out of a conversation with several others and approached us cautiously. His nostrils flared when he got close enough to draw in our scents and some of the flint from his gaze chipped.

“Members?” he asked in an undertone.

“We’re from Eahsea,” Bronwen answered for us. “And we, ah, need sanctuary. We’ve traveled a long way and have nothing to offer.”

The bartender’s grin widened enough for me to see an empty space where one of his canines should have been. “Sea’s Deep welcomes everyone in need,” he replied, much louder this time. “Please, come in. Make yourselves comfortable and I’ll see about getting you something from the kitchen.”

He gestured toward a number of empty tables.

We chose one toward the back of the pub and within a few minutes, the bartender—Benjamin, as he introduced himself—set several plates of food in front of us. He returned shortly with three glasses and a pitcher of fresh water, lemon slices floating across its top.

Caution would have been advisable, but my hunger got the better of me and I tore into the fresh bread, the steaming plate of roasted vegetables, and the tender slices of cold beef and cheese.

The others did the same and I spared only half a thought for Noren as I gorged myself. He had any number of options in the forest. He’d be fine.

They welcomed us, I thought as I finished gnawing on one of the slices of sharp cheddar. Just like that, with no questions asked. Benjamin somehow knew exactly who we were even when others took one look at us and saw nothing but what they wanted to see.

“You lot look hungry.” Another patron of the pub turned his chair around and straddled it, his arms looped over the back rungs and his features lifted pleasantly. He blinked all three eyes at us. “What brought you here?”

I swallowed hard, glancing around at the others before I answered him. “We’re looking for someone.”

“Seems like your journey has taken you far from home. My wife and I understand.” The man glanced up at the arrival of a woman in a sheer seafoam-colored sheath with real flowers holding the straps over her arms together. “We’ve traveled from the Dasha Plain.”

“You’re looking for something too,” Bronwen noted as the woman seated herself gracefully at her husband’s side.

They must be half shifters as well, to be here. I wondered if Benjamin got many people wandering in off the street, with his location, or if those in the city automatically knew something set this place apart.

“A place where we can be accepted,” the wife answered for both of them. She wrapped spindly fingers around her fluted glass of liquid and lifted it to her lips. “We’re on our way to find Dorian Jade.”

“Surely you’ve heard of him,” the husband pressed with a wide smile.

My back stiffened and I hid my reaction in another bite of cheese.

“Why are you searching for Dorian Jade?” Onyx asked, with much more diplomacy than I might have managed.

Even Bronwen hid a cough behind her fist.

“He protects people like us. It’s only natural to ally ourselves with him. Most of the half shifters in our acquaintance are joining forces with him because of all the good he’s done.” The wife offered us a kindly expression colored at the edges with concern.

I wanted to shake the look right off her face.

“How many people do you know who’ve found him?” Onyx asked.

I applauded his neutrality because just the mention of Dorian Jade had my hands balling on my lap and my cheeks flushing with heat. They were joining the man under false pretenses. Hopefully they saw through him quickly enough. The couple seemed like nice people, if misguided.

They continued to chat with Onyx while the three of us finished the food on the table. Soon there was nothing but empty plates between us and I rubbed a hand over my full stomach. We barely noticed when the door to Sea’s Deep opened, bringing with it a gust of salty air.

“Morgan, my friend!” Benjamin called out the greeting. “It’s good to see you. Come in.”

The hair on the back of my arms stood to attention as my focus narrowed on the newcomer.

I immediately recognized the mangy salt-and-pepper beard, the one eye. The long dark hair falling down to his chest. The half shifter who worked for the enemy. He’d changed his checkered shirt and stained jeans for a black t-shirt and equally dark pants.

He must have felt my gaze on him because the man, Morgan, turned toward us unerringly.

“You!” His voice boomed out across the room and had the three of us on our feet in a surge of motion.

Fast enough to knock against the table and send the empty pitcher crashing.

“Stop them! Stop those three!” Morgan continued to raise the alarm. “They belong to Dorian Jade.”